Dream? Do I have one?

After watching that show “sweet 18”, I learnt something and I asked myself do I actually have dreams?i was reflecting on myself and I have yet to have a goal and mission in life..neither do I have any dreams..education oftens help one to search for their goal in life, but so far, I have yet to found one, which make me feel tat I am just wondering aimlessly and passing life day by day without any future plans.
Growing up is a stage whereby one starts to think and question abt themselves..many at times they do reflect on themselves..maybe I should sae tat I have grown up abit becos in the past I dun think abt such things..neither do I question myselfsomehow he did make a small impact in part of my life..he taught me tat one should always plan ahead..maybe I should feel elated tat I have finally grown up..sometimes I am wondering wat dreams do I have?teacher? certainly no cos my studies isn’t tat gd and I am bad at teaching, but one gd thing is tat I got patience..somehow I think tat its an achievement if u can make a student understand wat u teach..fashion desigining I something tat do interest me, but I find tat its just not preactical, esp when all ur 19 yrs of edu will be gone down to waste..
I was reali shocked when I knew tat milli entered the competition in the singpaore idol and yes she is from yj and she is the same batch as me..she guess she must be veri popular now cos most of the ppl are talking abt it in yj..i still prefer the look when she didn’t wear make up..to me, I think she loks attractive becos of her eyes and tat why I noticed her on the first day of sch when I stepped into yj..nevertheless, its seems tat everything is so fake on the tv cos everything just dun seems to be like her, beside the makeover..
Mum and I was discussing abt some bf stuff on wed..she said tat if a rich guy likes u then u must bring him bac hor..my first reaction to tat is tat, is rich reali tat crucial and impt? Maybe I think tat all she wants is someone who is rich and have gd character..but to me, I think rich isn’t a problem and it doesn’t matter to me..as long as he is honest and have gd character and nice to me can le..i am just wondering id one day I were to break the news to her tat actually he is veri rich, how will she react?actually I didn’t know actually when I know him..its onli when we used to be together then I came to know abt this..actually initially I am scared tat tongues might wack saeing tat I onli go for his money but eventually as time goes by such feelings have disappeared,,every wonderful memories always some to a closure and mine has ended with no regrets in life..in fact, I am glad tat he is my first one..normally to gers, the first one makes a lot of importance for setting the standard for the following ones, and to gers, the first one always leave the greatest impression compared to the subsequent ones..
Class outing was quite ok,,but still somehow there are some of them who didn’t turn up again..and it was quite expected lah..we chilled out at starbucks first and after which went to marina south to play bowling..me and yh felt veri “gu gu” when we orederd the wrong drinks..supposely should be cold drinks cos we thought its cold but ended up with hot drinks..and ya, its not nice even though we added the 3 to 4 packets of sugar..and after I drink the coffee , I suddenly realised tat I shouldn’t be drinking coffee cos it will stain my teeth, but its too late cos I drank already..duno why I am veri concern of having nice and white teeth cos int eh past I have lots of decayed tooth and ever since then need to drill holes to put the fillings in and from sec sch onwards started to be veri scared of such drilling of holes in the teeth,,and worst still in pri sch , I dun brush my teeth to sch at all cos I am too lazy and I am a regular customer of the dental..and I always kana scolded by the dentist becos my teeth is always veri dirty and yellow..thinking of my pri sch days, reali duno how I survive with a bad breath man.
Bowling at marina souyth is reali cheap..i didn play with them cos I am just broke for this week, cos I bought 6 tubes of whitening toothpaste with my money..so I just gossip with agnes throughout the whole thing..talking with her is just reali funny esp when we talked abt our first one..from this gossip sessioin came to know lots of stuff and some abt my eye candy..abit sadded tat he has some special relationship with this particular female..duno why all my eye candies are wither attached or either in luv with another person..maybe I am just not fated to have a close connection with them..or probably my mr right is just none of the eye candies..
Saw my sec sch mates yesterday and I was veri shocked when I saw her holding hands with a guy..she gave me the feeling tat she super guai one and ownt go into relationship but I am wrong..i realised tat lots of ppl around me are getting attached..why is it arh?nevertheless I wont be influenced by them cos I still prefer to stay single..
Actual holiday is just tml..yeah finally..this few weeks kept feeling veri tired and wanting to sleep..not sure why also..sigh..

~worried~

studies isnt veri gd up to now, which make me reali worried..yup..now abit stressed up..for the next 2 weeks, i shall tell myself tat i am going to be super hardworking and catch up with my work, cos i think there isnt much time left..and i think i am still not prepared with my j2 work..all onli know abit here and there..i am aiming for at least B, C, C or B, B , C for A levels, but wonder if can i make it or not..sigh..

~something happening in NTU~

fri went to buy some undergarments..never felt so stupid before cos one auntie was sort of like laughing at me for knowing anything abt such stuff at my age..even her pri 4 daughter also know and its her pri 4 daughter who teach me..felt so ma lu man..maybe sometimes too ignornant isnt too gd either..
something happening big in NTU is tat my dad's workplace hire lots of illegal immigrants and last week somehow the police went there to catch..i guess somebody must have sabo and tell the police..my dad's female friend was caught and yup she was hand craft by the police and she is now in jail and i think she has to be canned for using fake passport to enter singpore,,duno how she did it also..everthing was so secretive and none of us knew abt it til last week when she was caught by the police..seriously i veri kelian her cos afterall she come here just to make a living and she is veri nice to my dad and us..whenever we go NTU she will give us extra food secretly, yet we pay the same money..got one time she even treat my brother eat..yup, its not the food tat sounds, but how her heart towards us..actually i feel reali sorry for her..=( my dad sae tat police nowadays are smart ppl, they dun look like police at all, in fact they disguise themselves like normal ppl and when they carry out their operations they seal all the place and no one is allowed to leave..now, the boss kana already and i am just scared tat it will affect my dad..hmm..adults world is always so complicated, but like our childhood days..
yesterday just bought a new CD cum VCD player..so shoik man, in future can watch VCD at home le..
thinking of eye candy reali make me smile cos he always wear a smile cos he always wear a smile whenever i see him..i think he is someone who dun alot of rubbish, yet his jokes can be funny..aiya, in all just think tat he is a nice guy..one thing is i think he duno me at all, so i just be secret admirer just for the rest of this yr..hehe..
miss C quite a bit..how nice if i could get to see C the last time again..sigh..wonder how C is getting on...

~sweet 18~

these few days reali obsessed with using youtube watching the sweet 18..yup, the show was reali nice..if reality there is an 18 yrs old ger marrying 28 yrs old guy, then how nice would it be..esp if u have a husband who is a police officer..how cool is it man..and ur the other half is always taking care of u becos he is the older one..oh man, everything is just too sweet..=) hehe..
went to find his profile..hehe..still single..hmm..
yesterday let mum see the results..i let her see the last min when she sleep, so she didnt reali scold much..sigh..abit worried seh..and i have been veri lazy lately..