~changing for the better~

i guess past mistake has left a high impact of me.the words that he said in the past and i could still remember vividly..so i told myself i should put in more effort rather than being so bo chap in future.yes i regretted terribly tat time, but it was too late.i cant have you bac, though i yearn terribly for it.

perhaps now i did put in the extra effort,but i guess i didnt gurgle it well.or maybe i should be more bo chap so that i wont bring discomfort to others.nvm i am tired of thinking alrdy.the more i tink abt it, the more upset i feel. suddenly feels lik taking a break frm everything, staying out alone enjoying peace and not tinking of anything in mind.or sitting down at the beach area sitting down doing nothing.

last night met up wif the jc gers.sometimes in life, i realised as you gets older, ur thinking will changed.last night during the short dinner we HTHT lots of stuff. perhaps in life, everyone has their weakness and strength.it really depends on how much we willing to accept them and forget the differences and stay happy as friends. Friends are for life, but ur other half can leave u anytime if things dun turn up well. at the end of the day,everything can be still bac to square one...

lately has been very emo and get upsets easily.nt sure why also.... ;(

~aimless wk doing nothing~

this wk was pretty a restless week doing nothing efficient.cos apparently i am in the holiday mood alrdy.and i am somehw getting sick of this boring studying life whereby everyday needa view online lects again and again.never ending. ;(

then ytd went for skin appt again.and mr bf turned up suddenly at the skin centre pharmacy, giving me really a stunning surprise ! but that was sweet though ;) hehe can i have more of surprises nxt time my dear?? ;) ;) after tat went to explore ard that area since i nv explore balester area before, then we had ba gu teh for dinner.still after eating tat, ba gu teh is stil not my cup of tea though its stil consider nice.perhaps i would prefer something with fried stuff. after the night dinner, we took a long walk /stroll, whichever u call it.sometimes its just so nice getting away from all the stress from the sch work and enjoying the night with your love one ;) , but sad to say this enjoying moments gonna end soon after cny period cos hectic days will come immediately after cny !! ;( sob sob !

~i feel abit upset~

fri went to chinatown to celebrate our 5th month.indeed time flies man.i am bac to spore in 5 mths alrdy and yes i have adapted to the life here though i still miss the days in china, the days where i have lots of freedom and wondering the streets exploring new places to go cos i am just freaking bored.i miss the slow pace life over there cos come bac spore everything will be bac to its hectic lifestyle, but this time round the onli exception is i have a special guy to pei me only.but he did add colours to my life now which is gd.sometimes i have been wondering wat i like to do actually other than watching tv and shopping..hmm i also duno man..or i realised at times i do deprived of childhood days also.mum have been pretty strict with me that i cant play games or whatever shit when i am young cos these are activities are time wasting to her.all i does was study study study and she has turned me into a bookworm who knows nothing.perhaps if last time she was to impose me to do housework rather than ask me study, perhaps by today i will help her clean the house since it has inculcate as a habit alrdy.but seems like she didnt giv a gd coaching when i was young..too bad then and so now i have really became reliant on her on housework.

anw today i was pretty upset over a remark.perhaps i am insensitive towards my surrounding, but like i always say i also do things without thinking much of the consequences.so i guess that is me. ;( duno why the impact on me was pretty upset and i did cried awhile, but i guess drowning in sch works really do helps and talk cock to ppl also helps.at least it helps to distract ur mind from the unhappiness remark..sometimes i really hope that my mind can be more complex rather than so naive..but can i really achieve that in 5 years down the road when i am 30 yrs old?? by the age of 30 yrs old i will be stepping into another phase of life.everything will be diff from now.i cant be as bo chap and ignorant as before.i have to climb on my mountain tortoise wall..but it seems so hard to achieve !!!! ;(

~to go or nt to go?~

should i go or nt to go? i have been asking myself the qns alot of time..i really cant decide.heart kinda wan to travel but logic wise tells me i shouldnt when i am nt even certain if i gt the money to travel first or nt.

anw sch has started this wk..i can hardly focus..was feeling very restless..i guess i am still not prepared for sch.and i get very tried cos sch starts means tat i will start wif viewing online lect everyday and its so boring and sian ! but anw tat is sch life.i just have to endure for a few more mths and i will be entirely free ! and today went to peep at a sch event and saw ac.although i saw him i didnt wan to call out for him since he was doing his wonderful job of helping the sch to flim the entire opening ceremony.and partly i thought, wat should i talk to him if i call him.hmm like nothing man.in the past we hv nothing to talk alrdy.maybe now the same too.so i guess maybe dun call him might be a better play safe choice.unless he saw me, then i shall go with the suitation.and mr bf is there too.and if he saw him how should i intro? aiya it will be damn weird.ex bumping into the current bf..wat should he say also.i guess its better to avoid this ugly situtation.

gd bye my pentium 3 cui comp !

today i went to recover my comp data.darn spend $50 on that.initally wanted to giv up hope liao, but i went sim lim to recover the data instead cos i really need some of my files doc inside my comp.but didnt expect to be so ex. first shop that i was quoted was $120, nxt was $100 , then lastly was $180...when i hear the recovery price i really damn sian liao cos its not worth recovering when its super damn ex for those photos and sch doc files..but somehow the last shop, that uncle was very fatherly.he ask me to quote my price.then i roughly quoted $50 since the max i would allow myself to pay for recovering data is tat price.then i was very stunned tat he actually agreed to it man...he say since i am a student and i needa recover my sch work. so he helped me..wah super nice man, i was damn touched ! but the recovery process was freaking darn long.i waited for 4 hrs and yet the recovery is not done.so i had to come bac another day to retrive it.but anw initally i tried to find out if the market is still selling my hardisk...wanted to tried to retrive my cui comp de.but the market nv sell 40gb IDE hardrive anymore..in fact in few mths IDE hardrive will be out of market and replaced by SSD hardisk..so i guess its not worth while purchasing this IDE hardisk since nxt time i cant get to purchase it when it spoils again..i guess i shall proclaim my cui comp as DEAD TOTALLY THIS TIME. and YOU SHALL REST IN PEACE THEN !! so sad.my many yrs of comp is gone and indeed it needed to be scrap off cos it has reached its life time !!!

~welcome to 2012 ! ~

past few days has been busy wif doing stuff.apparently not much stuff were done though i seems very busy..thur nite met up wif mr ec cos i needa his help to help me carry my hse comp to the repair shop cos i predicted he cant do much to my comp either.sigh, actually this cui old comp has been with me for pretty long.not tat i dun bear to part wif it, but just tat i wanna my files bac terribly cos i dun save any backup. actually i dun mind discarding this old comp since its time that he really needs to retire..no more pentium 3.shall move on to pentium 4.but i am pretty upset all my sch stuff is gone ! not to mention my beloved memories photos.but wat can i do.corrupt means corrupt, cant retrive means cant retrive. ;(

anw the informal meet the mother session was kinda a scary one for me.i felt scared for him too.actually my intention is to help him create a gd impression in my mum by asking him to help me carry my hse comp from places to places.tat's the only way to show that he is a nice guy and helpful towards ppl, as i always believe that first impression counts really alot.and my materialistic mum wouldnt be an exception.but i was right abt her consistent bugging abt mr ec after i brought him home to help me repair comp.but apparently he is not the first guy i brought home.so i feel she is seriously over reacting. But i wouldnt deny that this guy is the special one that i would stayed on with.which also explains why she keep promting me things non stop.

then fri had dian sum buffet ! its supposedly to be my fav, but apparently i eat until i feel lik vomitting ! cos its too overwhelming... but its super worth for money la.after tat met up wif the sz gang for gathering at town for ice cream !

sat was the eve of 2012 ! this yr was special as i spent my countdown in hotel...they spent the entire night drinking and performing some fashion show.the fashion show indeed was funny..other than tat, i dun really like drinking..perhaps since young, none of my friends drink til i came uni then started to have peer influence to touch alcholic drinks.but before i was 20 i never touch any drop of alcohol..neither did i stepped into any club or plubs..tat's just the guai qm or rather i should say i have a very strict mum who set a curfew for me in the past.so i nv ever had a chance to go club after midnight.

nxt wk gonna be a super busy and packed wk for me.i shall start writing my report nxt wk.and time to get bac to mugging mode soon ;(