~hmm~

my mum's gd friend was chatting with me on the phone..she was asking me abt him cos she some sort know something abt him..becos my mum did tell her abt him..she was asking me abt his look whether he is handsome or not?and his height and his character, etc..she said tat she wont tell my mum abt it but i know she confirm will leak out some of the things to my mum, so some of the things i didnt tell her the truth..becos tat time my the other mum's friend also said the same thing and ended up she told my mum but luckily i didnt sae any impt things..so i learned my lesson le..i will sae onli superficial things..seriously i hope tat she will talk to my mum tat i am a grown up child liao le..there will be a day i will leave her..she cant protect her forever..she always things my guy friends are bad ppl..true, there are some, but not all..majority are not..she didnt even see my guy friends b4 and she claims tat they are bad..wat logic is tat?me and him didnt work out also partly becos of them..seriously i am veri scared to go into a relationship cos wat if the same problem surface again?i will be veri heartbroken one leh if this happens..this problem isnt easy to solve at all, cant be solve even in a day, it needs both parties to work together to solve this veri difficult obstacle..sigh..
she was saying tat i always keep quiet and keep things inside my heart..true..i assume tat ppl can understand wat i feels and think..but she sae tat i need to speak out so tat ppl will know wat i am thinking cos not all ppl will know wat i am thinking unless they are my close friends..but i am always like tat, cant sae want to change means can change liao..after all it will take alot of time to change..
tues went to shape my eyebrows cos just want to try try..never shape it before..the person use traitional method, she use the string to make the shape and its just veri amazing considering its just a string..seriously its not easy to ding ppl using traditional ways to shape the eyebrows and make the face smoother..anyway all auntie sae not pain but i think super pain lohz..cheat my feelings sia..i keep ouching cos its just veri pain..i didnt want to make the eyebrows until so fine cos just scared tat it will be veri ugly like some ppl i seen..so i choose to make my eyebrows thicker..anyway there isnt much difference, except it looks neater now..they sae fine eyebrows look sexy but to me it makes no diff..they are still eyebrows..
my mum went to dental just to do polishing and do filling on a tooth and it cost $60..oh my god, its just so ex man and she sae consider cheap liao le..seriously i dun know the market price of doing these services cos i always do these for free..i always feel veri happy after they help me polish my teeth cos my teeth wont look so yellow..then i will smile more radiantly cos no more yellow teeth..hehe..to me, having a white teeth is impt ..duno why ..maybe it makes a difference to a person..
i have been wanting to poke ear hole ever since sec sch..i duno sae how many times liao still haven poke yet..haha..actually last yr i did went into the shop going to poke already but ended up i change my mind and decided to leave the shop cos i just have no guts plus i scared pain..haha..maybe i after A levels i will still consider want to poke again or not..
this few days cant sleep well and its all becos my mum and brother keep quarrelling and they disturb my sleep..my mum will purposely switch on the stupid buddha song until super loud so tat he will wake up and in turn i also wake up..its so annoying..she wanted to take revenge on my brother and it seems like both of us kana..and i am veri sick of listening the buddha song everyday..its just like listening to the song in funeral..she sae tat listen to tat song will bring fortune and gd health..i was saeing her tat if like tat everyone will be rich liao loh..this is just puer supertistious..next week is going out week..got chalet and concert to attend..she sae tat her friends are performing..i guess it must be something to do with church..maybe they are celebrating for the last time b4 they move ba..seriously i feel veri sian in this holiday..hw, hw and hw, this is stupid!!!!why cant i study hard last yr and get promoted last yr, then like tat i will be enjoying this yr liao loh..sigh..my other friends who are most of them in jj still tok i am enjoying life now..but sad to sae its not..i still to suffer in this sch for another a yr..sigh...i abit regret why so slack last yr..todae the sch is super ulu..so far i onli see 2 students..actually i came sch becos i got something to do if not i wont not travel so fast for cca..i abit sian of cca liao..feel like quitting and concentrate on studies..later will be going to tanu house to get some stuff from her..

~interesting thing..~

This week happen veri “interesting” thing on the train..there is a live broadcast of kissing show for veri long..seriously they are the worst couple tat I ever seen, they are just super bold to do kissing on the train non stop for veri long..so far I have seen is kiss a while onli..they so old liao should know how to behave mah..do it in train, huh?abit too daring le, plus somemore do this kind of thing in bright places, confirm will attract a lot of attention mah, if in dark places at least not so obvious..actually tat time my eyes grew veri big cos got free show to watch of cos must watch lah..wanted them to feel shy but they didn’t realized..anyway tat time the guy opposite me also saw tat and his eyes also grew bigger and he was smiling after which he look at me cos he knew tat I am also looking at them..i became to feel pei she and started to look around just to make sure tat I dun have eye contact with him..i was thinking”look at me for what?tat’s not my problem..”when we reach the last stop, he still turn bac to look at them many times..i thik he is also those pervert guys if not he also wont smile after seeing those kind of things..anyway seeing all these will not bring any harm cos so far I dun have any sore eyes yet..haha..i think traveling in train is nicer than traveling in bus, at least u can get to see lots of interesting things on train…
Went to ntu last sat morning to eat lunch since I veri free, actually I feel like slacking for the day..anyway when we stepped into canteen A, it seems like lots of ppl are looking at us when we walked past..duno why..maybe tat day we wear until veri sloopy or either we look young and its veri obvious tat we are not university students..duno why I feel like the toilet near tat canteen is haunted cos both me and my brother hear a child crying pitifully when there is no ppl in the toilet at all and the crying sounds super errie..somemore the lights can onli be partially on..i was so scared tat I get out of the toilet quickly just to make sure tat I dun see any dirty things..anyway in future I die die also wont go tat toilet again alone..
Saw yi hui tat day..she became prettier liao le with tat tied hair..wondered why I dun see maril tat day since I thought they are gf friends mah and they always stick together..wanted to chat with her but tat time I see her together with some unfamiliar faces then I just sae hello and wave to her..anyway tat time I am also in a rush cos I need to rush bac to help my mum dye her hair..cant reali chat long with her..went to arcade to see see look look since many yrs never step into an arcade le…then we so lucky to find tickets there cos I think someone left their tickets after playing and we used it to exchange something..atcually tat place quite nice to go when whoever is in a bad mood cos I saw one machine tat can use a toy hammer to hit the person..seems interesting..
I guess my mum will be going indonesia this time cos the wedding is just nice for her to go bac..actually she allow me to go with her but my tat relatives dun want to pay for me, they will pay all expenses for my mum onli..actually my mum wants to pay for me cos she wanted me to go with her to carry her things but she saes tat I onli wanted to go bac 3 days onli..she sae abit waste money..aiya the final decision is not made yet..maybe ultimately I get to go even though I go for a few days, if I dun I will be a full time maid for abt 2 weeks..then I must wash my dad and my brother smelly undergarments..eel………so disgusting..but I dun have a choice cos my brother wont help me one, all he knows he to eat and zhuo bo..then I also need to go market to buy all those food to cook..sigh..hopefully I dun do until I breakdown and cry cos I am reali not use to doing all these given tat I have never do housework b4 except for washing plates..hopefully she will not be going tat soon, if not I will suffer..i guess she will fly off b4 18 dec..

14 Ways to win a girl's heart *wink*

1. Hugs from behind.2. Grab her hand when y'all walk next toeach other.3. When standing, wrap your arms aroundher.4. Cuddle with her.5. Don't force her to do anything.6. Write little notes.7. Compliment her HONESTLY.8. When you hug her, hold her in yourarms aslong as possible.9. Be super sweet to her10. Pick her over ur friends. No matterwhat! Even if your friends call u pussywhipped.11. Comfort her when she cries.12. Love her with all your heart.13. Pick her up and flirt with her.14. Be a gentleman (hold the door forher).GIRLS - repost this if u think its sweet GUYS - repost this if u would do any of it*Yeap it's sweet ... but ... sounds like the guy need to be lecherous in order to win the girl's heart. ;PWord of advice: Don't try this unless you're sure she'll be yours, else she'll think you are sick in mind!

seriously some of the things are quite true to me, but not all..

~change or not change?~

my mum kept wanting me to change sch cos she sae this time i do quite ok..she is thinking to change me to jjc, which is my dream jc..even though i wish tat i could go back there, but still i guess i am not willing to change sch now cos its like all the things we learned are thought differently, be it in term of speed and style..even though i dun reali like this sch cos of some unexplained reason, but teachers there are gd compared to other jcs..some more i used to be a retainee..will they want to accept retainee meh?i think they rather accept other ppl loh..like wat my brother sae, once a retainee always a retainee..their perception of retainee wouldnt change no matter wat...anyway i have all my friends over here, in jj, there isnt could all my friends have left jj liao..seriously i dun wish to change sch liao le, but my mum keep pestering and bothering me to change sch, when she haven even confirm tat will the principal allows me to step in jj again or not...i have been taking trains home for this 2 yrs liao le..i guess i am used to this life le..sigh...j2 isnt an easy life also..i know tat she wants me to change sch so tat the time spent on travelling will be reduced but if she reali wants to change now, it will cause more harm to me..
yesterday met an ah beng..he approached me and wanted me to lend him my hp..since i remembered tat the news did mentioned something abt such stealing cases so i choose to tell him tat i didnt bring my hp todae, i guess he knew tat i was lying..but why must i lend him my hp when he was carrying a hp on his hands??he was telling me tat he hp canot call out and whatever shit, but stilll i dun believe him..pls loh, if canot call out still got public phone available wat..trying to cheat me sia..then he sae he wanted to give me his ic if i dun believe but who cares abt ur ic..give me free i also dun wan..anyway luckily myriam was with me tat time if not i will be reali scared to death cos he got so many percering on his face and mouth and he got so many tattoos..so scary..but ended up he asked from myriam..i keep making my eye hinting her not to lend her hp to tat guy, but ended up she did..we wanted to msg for him but he sae no need..just wondering wat he is up to..seriously this kind of ppl veri hard to believe..but my sch ppl were to borrow from me then i will lend, cos at least they are not as cunning as those outside ppl..anyway why so many strangers approach me this few days for help or other things..do my face sae tat i am a nice person??hmm..anyway i guess tat it is better to pray safe tat better not to believe wat they sae..
todae is the last day of sch le..we had pizzas todae cos ms ang was treating us todae, and she bought 3 from pizza hut for us..it was reali nice of her to treat us cos its reali not cheap in total..todae see him veri shuai..duno why..hmm...then gonna miss the small boy liao..cos next yr he will not be with us le..sigh...i reali like his smile cos he is always smiling..todae many ppl didnt attend lessons cos afterall it is the last day of sch le..so class was like everi empty todae..
i am starting to have phobia towards j2 liao..seriously this holiday they gave us so much homework to do..not to mention tat i have 12 gp mindmaps to brainstorm..oh no it is driving me crazy loh cos i see all the topics i also duo wat to brainstorm and i have no idea how to start..sian lah, i see gp homework also dun wan to do liao..anyway i guess i will find my gd friend to teach me gp during this holiday..dun think i want to slack so much this yr, scared tat next yr i reali canot catch up then i die..hmm..christmas is coming soon next mon..hope can reali celebrate with someone rather than being alone every yr..feel like eating turkey cos reali nice..haha...hmm..reali long time dun have any news of him le..duno wat he is doing now??should i take the initaitive?hmmmmm.......

~sigh~

just knew yesterday tat my ex classmate didnt make it and she was kicked out..sigh..she is reali a nice ger, reali hope tat she can still stay in yj...hmm... and this yr many retainees kana kicked out, one main reason was tat our sch raised our standard..make it to 2 AS and one AO..my mum was saeing its easy to come yj, but hard to promote in this sch..yesterday went to orchard to eat..hmm..eat the crispy chicken..hmm..not bad..then yesyerday got so many ppl ask me to do survey and buy things from them, but they didnt approach the 3 of them..hmm, do i look reali tat nice and rich tat ppl always find me..i did for one of the office ger, but got one boy boy ask me to do for him, but i dun wan even though he kept pestering us..anyway he was cute, but doesnt mean tat cute must do for him..tml last day le...tat's fast..
todae had spring cleaning for duno wat..so stupid..anyway was so sian..but there was reali lots of laughter...haha..

~results are finally out le..~

everyone was just veri scared todae..practically they have no mood to listen to any lectures and lessons..actually todae i am abit scared, just scared tat i will be advanced case just like last yr when partly i retained becos i fail my gp but meet the minimum marks..but gd to sae tat i am reali promoted, not advanced..but one thing is tat i fail my promo gp paper again..sigh..its reali my daily work tat made me pass my gp..sigh like tat i think tat my gp confirm canot pass in A level liao..this time the paper consider easlier than most gp yet i still fail..hai~~~like tat i think i canot get a full cert liao for A levels..results not bad this time..all Bs for every subjects...didnt reali expect i can pass my physic paper but i did it, just lucky by 7 marks..at least this time my mean A level points is enough to go university, but still this is not the final one, the most impt exam has yet to come..
i am veri sad to see one of my repeat friend having to leave the sch cos she didnt made it..she was crying tat time she walked past me..i understand how she feels lah,i guess she must be feeling its the end of the world liao..sigh..heard there is 3 kana kicked out, the number is still changing so not reali confirm yet..5 ppl are leaving my class le..sigh..she was veri sad when she knows tat she was retained..can see tat she is holding her tears in front of us, but she just dun wan to cry out..i understand how she feels, cos last yr i experience the same thing wat..we all just duno wat to sae to her, just stay by her side to pei her since her gd friend seems like has forgotten her..i reali salute muscle man cos he is still optimistic even though he got retained..he still smile when he receieved the results..actually he sae tat he expected it liao and he wants to retain...2 of the other guys which i think they are nice ppl are also gone..sigh..tat cute small boy also retained...think he veri nice guy leh, reali sad to see him retained...next yr cant see him liao.. my ex repeat 106 repeat classmates didnt do as well, but most of them did get promoted..some still duno how they fare for it..but i am happy tat they have promoted..reali dun wish to see my friends leaving sch...
i still lost to my stupid brother cos he got one A but i dun hav..he some more boo at me..wa lao still dare to sae once a retainee always a retainee, actually abit insulting but i am used to it liao..i am happy tat we still stay as 4 ppl next yr, then like tat we no need to be seperated liao..yhew...
mum was quite happy but i am still not tat happy cos i still fail my gp afterall..i reali dun understand why my gp still so lousy???????????aiya reali feel like giving up on gp le..
terrence and jason saw me todae then they ask me for my results then later talk to terrence since i choose to sit behind him..duno why he see me face red, why arh?i also not pei seh..he and hydrogen always like to make fun of me when they see me, wa lao i reali tat nice to make fun off meh??his gf was down there laughing..idoit..
tml will be going out to eat to celebrate our results..the j2 still play computer up to now..wa they veri slacked sia, tml got physic paper still dare to slack..his chinese paper still get F9 again..aiyo chinese reali tat difficult meh??actually todae had quite some fun with him cos we are bullying him and call him shortie..he sae i short but i am a ger, considering my height i am quite long already..so too bad...hmmm...so tired todae...sch will be ending soon..tat's fast..one yr has just past, reali cant believe it..next yr will be a super busy and tired yr for me, think dun hav time to think of guys anymore..i think my whole brain will be all stuff with loads of informations..

~tat stupid ass...~

fri nite was veri veri sway..tat day i was quite angry sia..why leh?becos i meet up with one stupid ass trying to take advantage of me..wat the hell..he can just go and die...and i mean it this time..no guys are gd in this world, they just want to take advantage of gers..guys just jerks..
was taking the 243 bus, then a guy sat beside me..he is abt early 20s..seems to me like he is a university student cos of the way he dress..he look decent to me but came out he this kind of person..duno why he kept sitting nearer and nearer to me and i kept shifting until i felt veri squeezy until i got no more space to shift inwards liao..tat time i was angry man, was thinking "f*** lah, wat u trying to do..i also duno u at all.."usually i dun scold vulgarities unless i reali angry and pissed off..tat guy reali made me angry loh..ha wasnt fat at all, i dun see whe he need to sit so close to me..i kept staring outside the window cos i just dun want him to look at me, not even my side view..at a point of time when i reali canot tahan liao then i glare at him..he did stop sitting tat close to me, but after a while he got bac to his usual self..wa seh, i was just super damn angry, felt like slapping him cos i think he is a dirty old fellow, trying to pray on xiao mei mei....at a point to time, i indeed saw him looking at my side view but i heck care..actually he got nice eyes and he quite gd looking, but still i hate this kind of guys...LOUSY!!!! eel..when i think tat his body sticking to mine, felt reali angry man..he is not my bf, he has no right to stick his stupid body to mine..ass lah..conclusion is after scolding so much, i am not tat angry anymore..but still dun let me see the guy again, make sure i stare at him harder next time ..
sat went to ntu to eat in the evening..saw 2 ex-yjcians..then tat day my mum was veri bu shuang with one canteen stall holder cos she claim tat she has lousy attitude towards my mum but i dun think so..just think tat she over react liao..so she purposely tell the stall holder tat her food veri dirty cos got lots of houseflies..then the stall holder was quite unhappy with her..i also got sae my mum tat she herself also got attitude problem wat, but she just dun wan to admit..somemore still scold me..i think nobody can get along with her loh..i guess in future my brother gf also canot tahan her and confirm will quarrel with her..i think no guys will dare to date me cos my mama so fierce and unreasonable, whoever see her will be scared off by her and run away liao loh..pls loh, my dad never divorce her veri gd liao..also treat my dad so bad, keep scolding him when he should be the one scolding her cos he older than her..
then i keep quarreling with my brother and mum cos they sae i nowadays come home veri late..true..then my brother kept saying things tat are not true at all, saying tat i got a bf outside sch, but its not true at all..wat rubbish is this..tat's why i am super angry with him..becos he is always the one trying to strain my realtionship with my mum..i came home late nowadays becos i just dun like the feeling of getting home..no peace at all..dun feel any warm in this home..i rather stay out late and do all my stuff outside so tat once i get home i can sleep or watch tv liao..i dun understand why i dun like going home, but many of my friends like going home..many times i dun tell her the truth where i am going cos i dun feel the need to report everything to her..i hate being controlled by ppl..then my mum was telling me tat after my A levels she want me to work as relief teacher..i was telling tat she is crazy..i die die also wont work as teacher..then she still sae at least work as teacher no bad ppl, but i was telling her tat she everything also scared, then in future when i reali come out to work tat time, then it will be worst when i duno a single thing..think she is just too over protective..like tat in future i confirm canot survive one loh..
saw a sabaru car won in 2004..felt lucky to see this car cos reali not esay to spot this car..wondered why nowadays dun see any lr liao..then todae they sae got 5 ppl retained in our sch..2 gers and 3 guys..sigh tml 2 pm, results will be released liao..lets pray hard..duno why this yr i not tat scared as last yr, maybe this yr got more confidence ba..last yr results reali like shit..dun even dare to show ppl my results..someone sae tat my blog super long, and no paragraphs at all..hehe..i guess must be veri difficult to read ba..but duno why i always forget to leave paragraphs, i just type wat i am thinking..so tat's why super damn long mah..
holidays staring this sat le..yeah 1 and a half months of break...this holidays seems long this time..can reali do quite a lot of stuff..this will be going malaysia also..actually i hope can go indonesia there cos my mum was invited for wedding..but duno she want to go or not..actually the food quite nice, got lots of spicy food..yummy..ppl sae i eat chilli reali scary, reali meh??dun think so, maybe i kana influence by my mum le..hehe...
actually i think now i dun reali like him lah, cos tat time i was walking home from ntu, was thinking of the other guy instead of him, so after all its just a crush..and it wont be lasting..

~so wat abt the past 2 days...~

we had a nice day..jihan invited our class to her house for hari raya celebration..her house was cosy..even though my house seems bigger than hers, practically my house is just veri empty..i like her hand made cookies and the mee soto tat her mum cook..but i wouldnt dare to eat tat much of the cookies even though it was nice cos afterall i am at other ppl house, still need to have some basic manners..kay after tat went to bugis with yh to meet terrance and kelvin..wa lao why must i always play the role of a light bulb??i reali dun wan, but she begged me for any times then i agreed..actually kelvin isnt tat bad after all except he talk non stop..cant stand it..we pity tat terrance peng seh him with his "friends" to watch movie, then we then decided to talk nicely to him..actually he quite friendly towards me, not like tat terrence so dao..but seriously tat bad he veri shuai sia..then hor, tat terrence was veri guo fen..we agreed to meet at 3.15 but he turn up at 6.15..so ended up must wait for him for so long..and worst still we call and msg him and he dun wan to reply..yh was veri angry with him..seriously i hate guys to be late for so long, 1/2hr still ok but not more than tat.that time i rmb waiting for a guy friend for 4 hrs until i was so fed up..if i dun need the thing so badly, i also wouldnt wan to wait for him so long..i will forever rmb him man cos he is the most unpunctual tat i have ever seen...tat day still went to PS..tat shopping centre reali brings bac lots of memories...
yesterday finally got lessons le..he sat with me yesterday then iw as shocked so i asked him why he sat beside me..tat time the feeling was weird, i dun know how to sae the feeling exactly..if i treat him as a friend, i wouldnt feel tat rite?then i veri pei seh when he talk to me, dun reali dare to look into his eyes..i was quite distracted during lessons cos we did talk abit and its all becos of him tat's why i didnt pay attention..he even knows tat me and yh was talking abt him cos i was smiling away, then i guess he saw it and was giving me tat blur look..tat day, i did peep at him for a while..reali a while..not more than 1 min..when i couldnt see him, i would look around..oh man,am i having a crush on him?sigh, i dun want to like 2 guys at the same time ..like tat veri bad leh, seems like i am steeping 2 boats at the same time..i am relai confused..do i like him exactly?but i dun peep at him everyday leh, and sometimes i dun reali hav tat feeling for him leh, so do i consider that as i like him?hmm..i relai duno..after sch yesterday went to yh house to watch the VCD "wang zi bian qing wa.."..oh my god, it was so sweet, esp when the lead actor and actress kiss..then i was making a lot of background sound cos i excited for them mah..then spent 3 hrs at her house to watch but still haven finished watching..i veri slack sia, actually todae got test and i should be studying yesterday but i choose to watch VCD first..aiya but never mind todae the test also not counted, so i heck care..
think the surbaru challenge veri interesting and challenging leh..feel like participating leh..seeing the couple win the car like veri shiok like tat..actually my mama got ask me to learn driving but i dun wan leh, i scared of accidents..
after 2 pm on 15/11 which is next tues, i will be getting my results leh..this yr, there are a few repeats in my class..i guess these ppl will be tearing like wat happened to me last yr..hopefully this yr i will be walking outof the sch smiling away...
this yr the A levels quite difficult..heard tat from my friends..should i sae tat i am veri lucky tat this yr i didnt take my A levels..probably next yr will be an easy paper cos its always alternate..
todae day was short cos maths lesson suddenly cancelled..so went to yh house instead since i dun wan to go home so early..yh sae tat i got home but dun wan to go home..she just dun understand..i dun like the feeling of going home..

~Truancy~

this few days reali zhuo bo, come sch just to take attendace..seriously dun understand why must the sch make retainees to come bac sch even though there is no lesson for us..tat is just so bo liao..just my time either idling away or chatting away or sleeping..wanted to read some notes but too noisy so ended up looking at ppl...yesterday still play truancy..initally i dun wan cos i scared mah, but later the 3 of them keep dragging me to go off with them cos they sae i stay in sch so sian..so me and cm went to bluff the security uncle sae we wanted to go out a while to take something so we hav to left our ic no..but i gave a fake ic no..pls loh who so stupid to give the real number to let them catch us..surprising the list has already have alot of ic no..so b4 us alot of ppl did bluff the uncle..after tat we went to the bac gate to ask yh and her to throw ours and their bags to us, then later we came out empty handed..actually the canteen ppl got look at us but i guess they cant see us tat clearly cos it is just too far away..after which we went to delifance to eat something..ya mee, the pies reali veri nice leh..then sat there reali long abt 3hrs like tat.jamie do all the talking, so we all just listen..actually i prefer ppl do the talking then i listen..seriously she can reali talk alot alot and non talk..then after which we do felt abit guilty for wat we did so went bac sch to scan our card so tat they couldnt check on us..
todae even worst..even sian, but jamie look for us and she was the one talking non stop from morning til 1pm..wa i reali pei fu her..we talk abt our exs, qualites tat we look in a bf and so on...she and cm wan a rich bf no matter wat, then me and yh are just too afraid to spend too much of a guy's money cos we felt tat its not correct..cm was complaining tat the 27 yr old "old man" was veri stingy cos he treated her ramian which cost $5.80..she felt tat he veri stingy and niao..actually i think tat the guy quite gd already loh, 1st time on date somemore he treat, better than nothing...she was expecting some high class restaurants..she still look out for credit cards..oh man, i dun even bother abt this..wether he uses credit card or not also none of my business, all i know is got money pay can liao..jamie saes tat i am a veri naive person..do i??actually alot of person did said tat to me b4, but i just dun find myself naive leh..she sae she did hug ch just for fun cos she find ch cute..hehe..ya actually he yet cute but seriously hugging a guy is never a thing i would do unless the guy is my bf then it will be a different thing..actually i do like the feeling of hugging but i feel tat it will be veri funny to hug u friends and i will feel veri shy one loh...
one week more, i will know my results le..on 15/11/2005...seriously i hope i can get at least C for every subjects except for GP, then like tat i will not let myself down..then one week more, i will have holidays liao..this holiday is reali a long one..i have decided to prepared my j2 work during this holiday, just scared tat i canot catch up with the speed..
todae hui ling was asking me how did i did for my promos..cm said tat her words are like she is looking down on me..duno leh, i dun think so, or maybe i am just insensitive..but wat to do, being a retainee sure will hav ppl look down on u wan wat...anyway i am used to it already...but seriously this year and last yr results reali got drastic change..duno last yr wat i do also...
my dad was asking me wat i am to do in university if i got a chance to enter..seriously i duno leh..initally wanted to study maths but now i think maths veri sian now cos of the teacher make me feel sian...i dun hav any goal in life, i duno where am i heading to...sometimes i do feel emptiness and loneliness in my life this yr, but wat to do, wat is gone is just gone..life still goes on..yes, i do admit tat sometimes i do think of him, wondering how is he doing now and so on..but just dun dare to talk to him..sometimes i do feel heartbroken also...
i have been watching a lot of serials..practically went home everyday to watch tv onli and never do hw..oh my god, yesterday i was watching this korean show, the guy is just so sweet to the ger..i wish i could be tat ger man but provided my parents do not interfer then tat will be a veri veri sweet ending..sigh..i reali wish tat i can hav a guy to take care of me, dote on me then tat will be veri nice..but it seems difficult....tml will be a toturing day again, tml has to go bugis again...

~work?~

Was walking past wallet shop cos earlier went to supermarket to buy something to eat during the weekend…happened to hear a guy telling his frien “qin min, qin min…”actually it was not reali loud, but I can still hear tat he is calling my name..but I pretended I never heard tat cos I am rushing home to watch show..anyway he also never call out for me, so I cant be considered as dao..actually who are those 2 guys I also duno cos I didn’t turn back to look at all..i guess they should be my sec sch frien ba..then so qiao after them saw zhi xuan..she still look exactly the same as pri sch..i was staring at her for a few sec, still thought she can see me and maybe could chat for a while, but she did notice me..so never mind loh, I continue walking faster since I am in a rush..aiya if got chance and fate, we will always meet again..
I was pretty shocked when I know tat she is single already..i thought she and her bf quite stable..i guess both should be veri sad right now, but one of them will be more hurt than the other..even though she is slighter older than me abit, I guess our thinking should be quite alike ba, some more she share the same horoscope as me..she has removed all the picts tat she took together with him, I guess she must be feeling deep painful when she removed those picts..sometimes I reali envy her tat she is able to make a guy wait for her for SO LONG and luv her so much without changing his heart..actually I was quite touched when I read the storyline..but I can never make a guy like me so much cos I did nothing ..i guess the heartless one should be me instead after recapping wat I did in the past..i guess nobody can enter my heart tat soon, maybe a yr, or more than that, neither it is easy to find a replacement..
My auntie just called me just specially to look for me..i was quite shocked initially cos I tok she wanted to call my dad..she ask me to work for her in ntu cos she sae she dun have enough workers..wondered why she didn’t ask my brother..anway I dun understand why must she go one big round just to ask me whether I want to work for her or not..the cell group leader also..she go one big round just to ask me whether I want to go church todae..anyway for my auntie, I dun know she is waiting for my ans in the phone cos how I know..u also never make it so obvious to me..but later I told her I will ask my dad abt it first..my mum since young told me tat she is a bad person but my the other auntie even worst than her..actually I duno whether should I believe my mum cos I didn’t see them being mean to my dad b4..sigh..i duno whether I want to work for her or not leh..i also duno wat can I do for her, plus I also duno wat to talk to her, plus her daughter veri dao sia, come from RGS so wat..aiyo ask me to sell food, I know nothing abt it..
I have been eating a lot after the food poisoning, yesterday still eat pizza from bread shop..decided to treat yh eat cos tat time she treat me..shank yesterday call me, I got a shocked in my life cos he never call me b4, duno wat reason he wants to call me..actually he wanted me to ask my teacher to check out for him whether he did promote or not..but his tone is quite polite..hmm..i think he can change quite abit for the better..

~abit shocked~

i am using the comp todae then suddenly someone snap his fingers..then i look up..then is shank leh...ok i was quite surprised..he wanted to borrow my comp a while together with armrit (armpit)..he was talking veri nicely to me, doesnt seems to be him cos he always so vulgar..anyway we did chat lah..(surprising)..and he did use vulgar on me..hehe..
todae tat cell group leader call me..i still thought is who..but i didnt pick up cos i cant feel the vibration,think she want to jio me come their church..die sia..i dun wan to go cos i feel sian there, nobody i know except suzana...

~shocked~

i was reali shocked when i read abt zhi xuan blog..my sec close friend when i was in pri sch other than christine..this yr, still intended to meet up with her and christine, but last min she cant make it..my god, she changed totally, the way she talk is just veri vulgar and crude..practically every sentences got vulgarities..last time she wasnt like tat , duno wat changed her so much..now she even went to ITE.., dun reali knows wat happens to her now..is it her friends tat influence her??in pri sch, she was the guai and innocent type, but i am not reali close to her compared to christine cos she veri childish,,and she always like to act cute, pretending to be pole and lala (those teletubbies), so i find her quite irritaing..6 yrs never contact each other liao, wondered is she still tat childish,..
wed's and yesterday evening news reported something on lr..i like the one with the yellow lr cos it looks cool man..but too bad its driven by uncle..but how come most of the lr are driven by uncles arh?i thought tat lr should be driven by those handsome guys than like tat will hav the correct feeling, not meh>?hmm...my mama also did sae lr looks nice cos she was down there looking at the news..but there are many lr tat look like his one leh, initally wanted to look out for his lr and see if he is on tv, but i cant rmb his plate no..everything is just G plate to me..
then i was watching star idol, got ah bengs and ah lian join, then they not shy one leh..i thought star idol is more of look out for looks, i think they can go home and sleep..was seh, one is reali super ah lian..she even adjust her bra many times even though she knows tat she will be filmed on tv..aiyo like tat how to be idol..but there are a few pretty ones..guys not handsome at all..all quite ugly to me..
yh did ask me wether the ger tat approached us in orchard did call me or not..now then i reaslied tat so the 2 numbers was called by the company, but tat time i didnt pick up cos i didnt felt the vibration..but seriously the company reali want to hire me?are your sure?do i look hardworking those type?actually i am a veri lazy person..it will be their loss if the company hires me..
tml suzana and yh did ask me wether i wan to go out..but they going shopping again for clothes..aiyo i veri scared of shopping clothes with them cos they will take veri long time to buy just 1 shirt,,hai~~duno if i want to go..then they still ask me to go city harvest in the evening..hai~~~duno if i want to go leh..cos later like tat time duno wat to do when they praying then veri pei seh one leh..

~seems like long time never go sch le..~

sat went out with my parents to the buddhist lodge cos my daddy wanted to passa letter to them..then there got vegeterian mealwhen i ate it, i thinktat i canot be a vegeterian cos vegerterian fodd not nice at all..plus i cant survive without meat for the rest of my life..then we also happen to walk past the senior minister's house in somewhere near orchard..their house all sealed leh, cant even see how their outer structure is like, then got 2 policeman infront of their house..wa they look veri fierce to me plus look like they wont move at all..(seems like they are just freezed at tat point)anyway after tat we shopped again in orchard (3rd time in teh same week)..most of the time spent were in HMV then my dad and mum sit in the circular seats then me and my brother went into the HMV to listen songs..then tat day saw yj pe teacher..she did recoginsed me cos i always kana caught by her for not wearing the correct attire for pe..kay after tat my brother and dad went swimming at the je there..but i didnt want to swim cos i duno how to swim , plus i scared go swimming will spoil my hair texture..so me and my mum went to je instead to shop for shoes..bought 2 shoes tat day cos its cheap plus its nice..i always like to buy those ulu ulu shoes with those ulu brands then ppl will not have the same shoes with me..then i also like to buy striking colour shoes ..just duno why, maybe tat's just my style..or maybe i want uniqness..so far nobody in sch have the same shoe as me..intially wanted to buy a stylish shoe but dun have my size..so sayang man, like tat shoe so much..kay tat day reali spent quite a lot on shoes man..tat day more was veri tired cos i wore platform shoes, all thanks to my mum, she sae its nice to wear but actually not ..anyway i feel tall tat day, a;most equal height with majority of the guys..feeling is quite shiok, but its reali not nice to walk..
mon went out with my brother and mum to eat steamboat at marina south cos i need not go sch tat day..initally planned to eat with yh and cm, but cm suddenly sae she tired so not going liao..so me and yh also not going le..hai~~she always like tat..she is the one who wanted to eat yet ended up she didnt want to go..whenever we planned any outing, so far none has ever been successful..in future i dun wan go out with her anymore le..since i was so bored, i decided to jio my brother to eat with me..then my mum wanted to tag along ith us ..actually i dun wan her to come with us cos she veri mafan and always like to complain tat the sunlight is veri bright and always must take out umbrella..wa lao stay in the sunlight just for a while will die meh>always like to over react over staying in the sunlight for a while..anyway there super ulu leh even though we went there in the afternoon..if at night, i wouldnt want to go there alone unless got ppl pei me..they still cater shuttle bus from the mrt to their place..then the buffer cos $!0 for each person..i thihk is quite cheao lah..i ate alot until my stomach become so BIG..i think eating this is a better deal than seol garden ..aht they have in seol garden they also hav..except there no air con lah..seriously i like to eat crab but just duno how to cook, so we boil instead, so taste veri bad..my mum is veri lazy, all she know is to wait for us to cook for her..my brother did most of the cooking ..i also got do my part but onli abit..i onli in charge of taking the ingrediants and throwing the food into the bowl..and i did one veri bad thing..i cant finish alot of food and i dump it into a plastic bag cos the sae if waste more than 500g must oay $5..3 crabs is confirm more than 500g man..anyway i did it secretly, after tat i use water melon shell to cover the food then they wont know..we sat there continously for 2.5hrs..i should sae both me and my mrother are veri pro..my mum just ate veri little..there still got ppl fly kites, but seems to me quite sian..
kay after tat initally wanted to go to see the sea, but he cant find the place..actually last time i got walk past a veri nice place whereby its veri romantic esp at night, but i duno where is it..its comewhere in raffles, marina or city hall..but its just reali sweet esp if 2 ppl can spent their night over there..i still rmb last time i saw a lot of couples there at night..tat night was veri tired for me..
i have been watching a show..ager who cant think as normal ppl was kana rapped by a guy but yet she duno tat..she still can sae she like the guy becos the guy bought her clothers and undergarments..her mum was so angry with her and beat her up cos she felt tat her daughter was veri cheap..hai~~~i felt sad for the ger but her mum shouldnt be angry with her cos she cant think properly, instead she should understand her sitution..think i am quite a emotional person ..i will cry even if i am watching a show or even in real life..seriously whenever guys are gd to gers, does it mean tat they have any motives..most of the guys are just not gd to me..not tat i dun trust them but i just find it hard to trust them..i need time to see whether the guy is sincere for wat he is doing..this is someway tat i am protect myself..
yesterday had a super terrible food poisioning..my stomach pains for the whole day, from morning til late evening then i decided to eat medicine..in the morning b4 7, went to the toilet once..after i came out of the toilet, i feel veri weak..then duno why my vision is just veri blur, then after tat everything just blackout..tat time i cant see anything, just total darkness to me..tat time i grabbed on on the kitchen table, just felt too weak so i collapsed on the floor..tat time i was so scared,,but after a few mintues everything was back to normal..i can see already..seriously i think tat it is a fortune to be able to see after the sudden blackout of my eyes..nobody knows abt tat, but i did wake up my mum cos i make too much noise when i collapsed..then yesterday nite got slight fever and headache, then end up canot wash my hair for tat day, eee..felt so dirty todae..anyway i am reali scared fo food poisoning cos yesterday i was rolling on the floor the entire day cos my stomach is just too pain..i am most scared of food poisioning, but not others..reali veri sway man, duno kana how many times liao..somemore todae i lost my medicine, then yh sae my face look veri pale..of cos mah, sick ppl where will look healthy, plus yesterday never eat at all and went to the toilet for almost 10 times, of cos will shit until i feel veri weak..
todae i ask cm where she work then she sae pub..then she is in charge of drinking with customers..plus she sae she did smoke abit..hai~~~reali hopeless..then she sae guys will also touch here and there..so in other words, she is doing some kind of exchange service??i reali duno..but i think is some sort of it.she sae majority is office guys, but i thought they look decent to me leh, didnt know they are this kind of ppl..aiyo..dun understand why must she find those kind of jobs when there are others available..think she is reali the worst ger i ever seen..