~sick~

i have been seriously veri sick for many days le..had fever on sat, which is christmas eve, so i cant go the bbq..i guess i have fever becos the day b4 i went for running even though i know tat i am sick already..til now i still haven recover..yesterday i still eat lots of chilli and heaty food until know i still got cough and sore throat..sigh..i feel veri tired and sick now..

~finally~

I have finally finished the hw..finally..currently I am doing revision for my blog test which is coming 3rd week of jan..sigh..test and test..i guess canot even get to enjoy during the Chinese new yr..oh man, sch is starting reali soon..in 1 and a half week time..this is so sian..once sch reopens I canot get to wake up late le, no more time to watch tv..it seems tat j2 stuff are reali difficult cos I have flip through some of it and it seems tat I duno everything..ya and tat’s bad..seriously my parents are worried tat will I be able to go university or not even though I retained 1 yr cos I quite stupid and slow mah..actually I am also abit scared..duno if I can managed to survive j2 or not..
My dad was talking to me yesterday abt all those Chinese history..actually I was veri sian, didn’t bother to listen cos I am not interested to listen all these history cos I dun like history..i reali hate history during my sec sch..anyway I just came to know tat my dad was from hwa chong..no wonder his Chinese and literature so gd and his knowledge is also veri gd..those physic and chem stuff he also know, but using Chinese onli..my dad is so smart, but why I dun get his brain arh..hmmm..instead its my brother who got it, instead I got my mum’s one..no wonder I so stupid and slow..
This sat is Christmas eve..sigh..reali hope can spend the day with someone I like..but it seems tat its not possible..i guess I always like to fantasias but I know tat it will not happen..this sat got bbq..also duno if I wan to go or not cos I got a sore throat duno if I can still eat all those food or not..and moreover yh isn’t confirm if she wants to go or not..if I am going alone, then I guess I dun wan to go le..but I have prepared a present for exchange..seriously if a guy get my present will be sway cos the present is not meant to be for guys..i reali duno wat can I get so tat I can accommodate to both guys and gers..but I hope I dun get chocolates..i am in need of a watch now cos the other one spoil liao..actually I reali like my previous watch but if I change everthing, it will not worth the money..so now I hope I can get a watch for Christmas..actually my house got one Mickey mouse watch and is veri cute, but I cant be use, tat’s so sad..
Tonight I am going to meet Christine and zhi xuan at her church..she sae got prepare games..wonder wat kind of games is it..hopefully its not those lame games..i guess there will be food also.. hopefully there will be turkey and log cake for me to eat..haha..

~trapped~

~trapped~
somehow last few days I feel trapped..duno why..sigh, I guess onli I can help myself, nobody else can help me..not even eating medicine can cure the sickness of my heart..sigh~~~seriously tat few days I also why suddenly I will feel like tat, do u know why?actually me myself also duno..
lately I have been veri crazy on those fake nails designs cos lately it is quite trendy..but it cost more than $30 for both hands..tat’s reali veri costy and ex..i always look but never buy cos I think abit not practical, it can onli be worn on days when u need not have to do anything..
recently I have got a new idol..tat show luo reali veri shuai and humourous..whenever I watch his show, I will always laugh..haha..
last wed intended to bid for the comp in ntu cos my brother’s friend ask him if he wants then he bid for us..we wanted to bid for it but my mum just refused to let us buy cos she sae 1 comp per household is enough already..morever it will occupy lots of space..then me and my brother veri angry with her becos my brother’s friend bid for $105 for the entire comp system, lowest so far is $70 and he is the so called “main organier “of this bid..tat’s why he is pro..wa lao LCD screen sia, I have wanting to get one already but I find it too ex tat’s why I dun wan to buy..plus there is rewriteable CD drive, and I dun have..its all my mum’s fault for not letting us buy..some more we are not asking her to pay for us, we wanted to use our money to pay for it..my dad also never sae anything..he sae whether we want to buy is up to us..when went ntu on fri to eat dinner since I was so free..my brother brought me to the office..it seems tat working over there seems quite gd sia..their sitting arrangement like those teacher’s office arrangement like tat..they give me the idea tat they are more like teacher..
nowadays keep feeling fed up becos got lots of things dun understand..then ask my brother to teach me then he keep asking conditions from me and I get fed up veri fast cos relai not mood to play with him, I just want to finish everything as fast as possible so tat I can dump my hw aside..cos reali sickening sia, from holiday til now I am still doing my hw..and I am starting to hate phy now cos currently we are studying on electricity..oh my god I reali hate tat, tat is my lousiest topic during sec sch..
wan yi confirm has a bf le..actually reali surprised cos tat time I was still guessing if I am right or not..then now confirm by somenore, tat means I am right..they sae he quite gd looking ..no wonder tat time I saw her msn nick saying “my life wouldn’t be complete without u..”starting from tat time I started to feel weird abt her..seriously she doesn’t look like she want to have bf cos last time she not like tat, she always sae sae but she is not serious abt wat she sae..tats why tat’s make me so surprised..anyway I reali curious how the guy look like..but one thing is tat she didn’t post her bf picts online so I duno is which one..last time in my sec sch, I still rmb tat I always have a nick in irc tat sae”my luv for u will never change..”but the guess the guy didn’t know abt it..actually thinking of it reali feel stupid..in the end I also fall in luv with another guy when I was in my 2004 jc1..aiya somehow I feel this kind of thing wont last..after a long time when both parties dun contact and see each other, feelings will tend to be lesser liao or even up to no feelings le..wei jie and yin mei are togther AGAIN..this is my duno how many times I hear them break liao then patch bac..it seems tat my sec sch mates couples indeed last veri long liao..i guess should be abt 2 yrs liao..time flies reali fast, wondered when will I hear tat both yh and maril will get a bf..i reali look forward tat..haha..actually howadays reali never contact with them le, I guess we different sch, abit hard to talk to each other..
then I was watching a dance show ..seriously the ending was sad, the guy has a changed of heart for another ger..intially he like both gers, but since he can onli choose one, he chose to break up with his gf..seriously tat’s veri sad and I feel tat it’s the most cruel fact to accept if I were her I will also do the same thing and cry..i reali dun wish to happen such things on me in any part of my life..seeing the guy together with another ger will onli break my heart..even though the outer side doesn’t show tat I care, but actually the inner side of me saes tat I do care..actually tat sounds contradicting..but I just dun wan the guy to know tat I still care for him..tat is just my theory for luv..
my brother was telling me tat his friend tok tat I am his gf..seriously I was laughing cos pls loh who will like this pimple face guy with attitude problem..lohz..
next thur will be going for Christmas party..reali look forward tat..

~some thoughts on christmas..~

My mum nowadays seems like is less strict with me..nowadays shenever I tell her tat I want to go out, she didn’t sae anything, instead so far this yr, she let me go out whenever I sae I want to go out..this is suprising cos its not like her..somehow I feel she suddenly so gd is becos this yr my results quite satsifactory..maybe gd results equals to can go out..ya, I will study hard for next yr so tat at least I get gd grades then she wont bother me and wash her hand off me..
Yh was asking me so random qns abt whether will I like pw eye’s candy (eg)my ans is of cos no, becos first thing there isn’t sort of attraction and chemistry between us..without all these liking for the other party couldn’t preceed on..actually I never thought seriously whether will I like younger guys or not..haha..this Christmas reali hope can spend wonderful time with my pri gd friend and her “strangers friends”..every week there will be ppl to ask me wether I want to go church or not, then I hear until veri sian…anyway this time I decided to turn up becos its at a different church…maybe this church will give me another different experience..another reason is tat I never see her for half a yr le, maybe should come out to chat and talk abt out troubles..i have been staying veri late on every wed cos I am watching some “knowledge shows” on sex..haha..this program doesn’t provide me much knowledge cos they sae things veri superficial and they also never demonstrate of cos I dun understand wat they trying to sae..maybe tat program is meant for adults, not meant to be watched by kids..i always chey after the program cos its reali chey and nothing much..last time, they still ask me to buy those dirty VCD to watch, but I dun dare and I dun wan, i rather go movie to watch once I reach 21..tat would be a wiser choice..haha..
Actually I felt tat Christmas and V day is a nice, sweet and romantic days for couples..it would be nice to spend the day with someone u like..provided there musnt be any ppl to disturb them..actually this yr, I hope can spend Christmas at marina bay or the mount faber there, or somewhere near the merlion statue, then with fireworks on, then tat would just brighten the whole atmosphere..this yr did happen lots of unhappy things and happy things also..but comparing the weightage, unhappy things outweigh happy things..sigh~~~it seems like I also duno wat to do now, I just have to wait and see how..next yr will be a veri tough yr for me, I need to work extra hard..duno if I got the will to strive tat long or not..it would be nice and gd to have someone to encourage and motivate me to study..then at least I wont slack so much..time spent on comp also need to reduce liao cis dun think got so much time to do bo liao things on net liao, which I always do..hai~~
This few days do hw until crazy sia..reali veri sian leh..

~long time never blog~

hmm...i have been watching a dance show and actually now i think i feel like learning how to dance cos its just veri nice cos they dance veri gracefully..but hor remebering tat time the guy sae tat i am his worst dance partner, then it reali shut me off..anyway i am always veri stone, cant blame me..haha..but i wont like dancing with guys cos i will feel veri uncomfortable..
i am invited to a christmas party on 22..seriously tat day has to dress up until veri chio, if not will be veri pei seh..still duno wat present to give also..hi~~headache..
thur went to ntu to eat.. plus some reason which i dun wan to sae..then tat day saw my brother senior, wa she veri auntie, but i tell my brother not to tell her..haha i am veri bad..then after tat went to the library sercretly cos by right outsiders are not supossed to enter..anyway tat day i was looking for comp to play but they all need password!!!!!!so i end up standing using the search computer, but tat time alot of ppl looking then i veri pei seh, so faster zhao liao..
after this i realised tat maybe fate doesnt exist..i sitted there so long but nothing happens..hai~~~just admit to fate..
todae went dental with my brother, dad and yh..yh didnt like my brother cos she feels tat he veri irritating and ah gua..anyway todae saw alot of handsome dentists..weird why todae i never kana them..haha..next week gona be abit slack..sch going to start soon in 2 to 3 weeks time..sian..

~johor and chalet

Sat went to johor..this time spent a lot of money near to $100..spent lots of mney on food and abit on clothes and shoes..tat day when we stepped into malaysia, we have to wait for a long queue , waiting to chalk our passport..then one stupid china guy was standing behind me and was scolding vulgarities..so I join my brother in another queue which is shorter..then he follow me and cut my queue and suddenly he became in front of us..wat the hell..i was veri bu shuang loh..other ppl cut my queue I wont mind but I see him veri bu shuang so I mind..i was cursing him behind my bac..duno why he kept turning bac to look at me..i guess maybe I scold him too loudly liao ..i was thinking “see wat see, never see ger b4 isit?lousy..”my brother was saying tat he was trying to take advantage of us cos we are young ppl and most probaaly we wont sae anything if he cuts our queue..anyway I feel tat there quite complicated..i dun feel secured when I stepped into the country..beggers over there look reali pathetic and scary cos of their face..they will pester u until u are veri scared..i still rmb the same begger tat last time I seen..actually I quite pity them but I reali scared of the,..tat time when we are eating, an Indian begger came to us and keep asking us to give money to him but we didn’t and ignored him..i think he is more like an alcoholic drinker..anyway the conditions of beggers in Singapore is better..
One thing is they are not honest in doing business esp the money changer ppl..wa lao initially I changed some amt for certain money..after tat I went the sec time on the same day to change again, the price change again..it became lower this time..it just dun tally with wat it was written on the board..and I feels tat most of the ulu ulu shopsholders tends to increase the price once they see we are chinese..its just super obvious loh..we are going to buy a belt and shoes for my borhter and we asked for the price since there si no price tag..he thought for veri long and pls loh, shopholders should know the price veri well..its obviously he is trying to earn some extra money through us and cheat our money..those food stallholders also..one satay cost how much also must think so long..some more tat stall onli sell one thing onli..it cant be tat difficult to rmb the price ba..and these ppl dun understand end at all..talk to them in English they dun understand, so my mum has to speak to him in malay and I down there veri blur..and there is this malay guy in the shoe shop super gd looking…he still tok we can speak malay so h e spoke to us in malay but I dun understand..but at least he not so bad, he understand abit of English..
And tat day some ppl were carrying guns and rifles on the streets..oh my god, its just so scary..they dun look like policemen leh cos all are wearing different attire..and tat day 3 malay gers were standing in front of the escalators and they keep draggin my dad to sit down at one place..at first I still duno wat they want, still tok they just want to ask my dad to sit down to makan cos tat place coffee shop mah..but after tat, my dad told me everything..they are actually so call prostitues..pls loh, they so ugly, still want to seduce my dad..if I guy give me free I also dun want ..i see their face also want to puke and turn off liao..
That nite dinner we ate at the stalls whereby can move near and there, duno call wat lah, but its not veri practical leh, cos tat day wa dizzling and made the whole day veri disgusting and dirty until I got no appetite..
Chalet was quite ok..most of my ex classmates did turn up except for majority of our ex retainees did not turn up partlt becos of a reason..ma and shank did turned up..somehow I felt abit extra cos afterall they have graduated and they can relaxed all they want but I cant reali slacked totally..and shank smoked tat day..seriously it stinks..reali dun understand why he want to smoke..i long time never see wee ping they all liao..they went to rebond their hair..somehow its look neater..they sae tat I have slimmed down..haha..actually I quite happy but still I am big size,,tat’s a fact tat wont change..i am targeting to flatten my stomach by doing crunches everyday so tat at least it wont look flabby..i am also exercising quite a lot during this holiday..seriously my aim now is to reach 48 to 50 kg then I veri happy liao..tat day also marinated chicken and think its quite fun cos like massaging the chicken like tat..haha..then tat dat super sway loh cos me and tanu was asked to take the bicycle bac cos got not enough ppl to carry them bac..then it started raining halfway through when we are cycling in the dark..seriously tat day I didn’t bang into anything..i think maybe there is nobody in front of the track so I need not turn here and there..but I am specially scared when I reached the downhill slope cos its just super fast and veri hard to control..last yr becos of this I bang into a tree and in turn rasyidah banged into a lamppost becos of me..felt veri guilty tat time cos afterall she got injured becos of me..anyway tat time I ride super fast cos I didntwan to get drenched..the couple still slowly take their time to cycle slowly bac even though its raining already..the ger sat in front of the guy and he slowly cycled bac..i guess partly its not a 2 rider seat, afterall its not easy to balance..actually when I see tat, I felt tat it was quite sweet and romantic..moreover it was raining and was in the nite..then tat ger also watch her bf swim..actually it would be nice to see ur bf swim without clothes on but must provided tat the guy’s body musnt look disgusting..tat day didn’t have a proper dinner cos me and tanu was rushing home cos I didn’t wan to go homw veri late cos I am scared going homw alone late in the midnite..tat day I never receive a single call from my mum which is veri surprising..first time in my entire life she didn’t call me cos its was late in the nite already..afterall I felt weird cos first time she didn’t rush me home..
Many of my friends are giving their bks to me..oh my god, its just so many, wondered if I can feed all these into my brain during the As or not..somehow I felt tat my ex classmates are more untied as a class, compared to my current class..i wasn’t veri close to them cos afterall this yr they take pw and I dun..so we didn’t reali get to mixed tat much..many at times, we wasn’t aware tat there is class outing cos no one told us..even though there is class outing, not many turn up, I guess..their class outing was just movie, I guess..they didn’t reali orgainsed big outing, such as chalet or wat, so tat ppl can reali mixed and interact with each other..afterall I felt more attached to my ex classmates..
Yi jie is applying to be a relief teacher for the next few months..actually I am abit shocked cos didn’t expect him to be a teacher cos he always scold vulgar and sae all those pervert things..dun think he is those gd role model teacher..if I see him in those teacher’s clothes, I confirm will laugh out..at home he act guai in front of hie mum, but once he is on sch, he became a different person..anyway teacher reali tat gd meh?
Sigh, I still got so many hw haven finished..atcually I think I watched too much tv liao le..but I canot stopped leh cos somehow I got addicted to it already, I everyday much watch the 7 and 9 o’clock show..tues still need to meet a guy friend..actually he quite gd lah, initially I intended to come somewhere near his house to get those stuff but he said he will come my house there, so I will save alot of energy to carry all those heavy stuff le..and next sat still need to go dental..oh my god, reali got so many things to do..

~hmm~

my mum's gd friend was chatting with me on the phone..she was asking me abt him cos she some sort know something abt him..becos my mum did tell her abt him..she was asking me abt his look whether he is handsome or not?and his height and his character, etc..she said tat she wont tell my mum abt it but i know she confirm will leak out some of the things to my mum, so some of the things i didnt tell her the truth..becos tat time my the other mum's friend also said the same thing and ended up she told my mum but luckily i didnt sae any impt things..so i learned my lesson le..i will sae onli superficial things..seriously i hope tat she will talk to my mum tat i am a grown up child liao le..there will be a day i will leave her..she cant protect her forever..she always things my guy friends are bad ppl..true, there are some, but not all..majority are not..she didnt even see my guy friends b4 and she claims tat they are bad..wat logic is tat?me and him didnt work out also partly becos of them..seriously i am veri scared to go into a relationship cos wat if the same problem surface again?i will be veri heartbroken one leh if this happens..this problem isnt easy to solve at all, cant be solve even in a day, it needs both parties to work together to solve this veri difficult obstacle..sigh..
she was saying tat i always keep quiet and keep things inside my heart..true..i assume tat ppl can understand wat i feels and think..but she sae tat i need to speak out so tat ppl will know wat i am thinking cos not all ppl will know wat i am thinking unless they are my close friends..but i am always like tat, cant sae want to change means can change liao..after all it will take alot of time to change..
tues went to shape my eyebrows cos just want to try try..never shape it before..the person use traitional method, she use the string to make the shape and its just veri amazing considering its just a string..seriously its not easy to ding ppl using traditional ways to shape the eyebrows and make the face smoother..anyway all auntie sae not pain but i think super pain lohz..cheat my feelings sia..i keep ouching cos its just veri pain..i didnt want to make the eyebrows until so fine cos just scared tat it will be veri ugly like some ppl i seen..so i choose to make my eyebrows thicker..anyway there isnt much difference, except it looks neater now..they sae fine eyebrows look sexy but to me it makes no diff..they are still eyebrows..
my mum went to dental just to do polishing and do filling on a tooth and it cost $60..oh my god, its just so ex man and she sae consider cheap liao le..seriously i dun know the market price of doing these services cos i always do these for free..i always feel veri happy after they help me polish my teeth cos my teeth wont look so yellow..then i will smile more radiantly cos no more yellow teeth..hehe..to me, having a white teeth is impt ..duno why ..maybe it makes a difference to a person..
i have been wanting to poke ear hole ever since sec sch..i duno sae how many times liao still haven poke yet..haha..actually last yr i did went into the shop going to poke already but ended up i change my mind and decided to leave the shop cos i just have no guts plus i scared pain..haha..maybe i after A levels i will still consider want to poke again or not..
this few days cant sleep well and its all becos my mum and brother keep quarrelling and they disturb my sleep..my mum will purposely switch on the stupid buddha song until super loud so tat he will wake up and in turn i also wake up..its so annoying..she wanted to take revenge on my brother and it seems like both of us kana..and i am veri sick of listening the buddha song everyday..its just like listening to the song in funeral..she sae tat listen to tat song will bring fortune and gd health..i was saeing her tat if like tat everyone will be rich liao loh..this is just puer supertistious..next week is going out week..got chalet and concert to attend..she sae tat her friends are performing..i guess it must be something to do with church..maybe they are celebrating for the last time b4 they move ba..seriously i feel veri sian in this holiday..hw, hw and hw, this is stupid!!!!why cant i study hard last yr and get promoted last yr, then like tat i will be enjoying this yr liao loh..sigh..my other friends who are most of them in jj still tok i am enjoying life now..but sad to sae its not..i still to suffer in this sch for another a yr..sigh...i abit regret why so slack last yr..todae the sch is super ulu..so far i onli see 2 students..actually i came sch becos i got something to do if not i wont not travel so fast for cca..i abit sian of cca liao..feel like quitting and concentrate on studies..later will be going to tanu house to get some stuff from her..

~interesting thing..~

This week happen veri “interesting” thing on the train..there is a live broadcast of kissing show for veri long..seriously they are the worst couple tat I ever seen, they are just super bold to do kissing on the train non stop for veri long..so far I have seen is kiss a while onli..they so old liao should know how to behave mah..do it in train, huh?abit too daring le, plus somemore do this kind of thing in bright places, confirm will attract a lot of attention mah, if in dark places at least not so obvious..actually tat time my eyes grew veri big cos got free show to watch of cos must watch lah..wanted them to feel shy but they didn’t realized..anyway tat time the guy opposite me also saw tat and his eyes also grew bigger and he was smiling after which he look at me cos he knew tat I am also looking at them..i became to feel pei she and started to look around just to make sure tat I dun have eye contact with him..i was thinking”look at me for what?tat’s not my problem..”when we reach the last stop, he still turn bac to look at them many times..i thik he is also those pervert guys if not he also wont smile after seeing those kind of things..anyway seeing all these will not bring any harm cos so far I dun have any sore eyes yet..haha..i think traveling in train is nicer than traveling in bus, at least u can get to see lots of interesting things on train…
Went to ntu last sat morning to eat lunch since I veri free, actually I feel like slacking for the day..anyway when we stepped into canteen A, it seems like lots of ppl are looking at us when we walked past..duno why..maybe tat day we wear until veri sloopy or either we look young and its veri obvious tat we are not university students..duno why I feel like the toilet near tat canteen is haunted cos both me and my brother hear a child crying pitifully when there is no ppl in the toilet at all and the crying sounds super errie..somemore the lights can onli be partially on..i was so scared tat I get out of the toilet quickly just to make sure tat I dun see any dirty things..anyway in future I die die also wont go tat toilet again alone..
Saw yi hui tat day..she became prettier liao le with tat tied hair..wondered why I dun see maril tat day since I thought they are gf friends mah and they always stick together..wanted to chat with her but tat time I see her together with some unfamiliar faces then I just sae hello and wave to her..anyway tat time I am also in a rush cos I need to rush bac to help my mum dye her hair..cant reali chat long with her..went to arcade to see see look look since many yrs never step into an arcade le…then we so lucky to find tickets there cos I think someone left their tickets after playing and we used it to exchange something..atcually tat place quite nice to go when whoever is in a bad mood cos I saw one machine tat can use a toy hammer to hit the person..seems interesting..
I guess my mum will be going indonesia this time cos the wedding is just nice for her to go bac..actually she allow me to go with her but my tat relatives dun want to pay for me, they will pay all expenses for my mum onli..actually my mum wants to pay for me cos she wanted me to go with her to carry her things but she saes tat I onli wanted to go bac 3 days onli..she sae abit waste money..aiya the final decision is not made yet..maybe ultimately I get to go even though I go for a few days, if I dun I will be a full time maid for abt 2 weeks..then I must wash my dad and my brother smelly undergarments..eel………so disgusting..but I dun have a choice cos my brother wont help me one, all he knows he to eat and zhuo bo..then I also need to go market to buy all those food to cook..sigh..hopefully I dun do until I breakdown and cry cos I am reali not use to doing all these given tat I have never do housework b4 except for washing plates..hopefully she will not be going tat soon, if not I will suffer..i guess she will fly off b4 18 dec..

14 Ways to win a girl's heart *wink*

1. Hugs from behind.2. Grab her hand when y'all walk next toeach other.3. When standing, wrap your arms aroundher.4. Cuddle with her.5. Don't force her to do anything.6. Write little notes.7. Compliment her HONESTLY.8. When you hug her, hold her in yourarms aslong as possible.9. Be super sweet to her10. Pick her over ur friends. No matterwhat! Even if your friends call u pussywhipped.11. Comfort her when she cries.12. Love her with all your heart.13. Pick her up and flirt with her.14. Be a gentleman (hold the door forher).GIRLS - repost this if u think its sweet GUYS - repost this if u would do any of it*Yeap it's sweet ... but ... sounds like the guy need to be lecherous in order to win the girl's heart. ;PWord of advice: Don't try this unless you're sure she'll be yours, else she'll think you are sick in mind!

seriously some of the things are quite true to me, but not all..

~change or not change?~

my mum kept wanting me to change sch cos she sae this time i do quite ok..she is thinking to change me to jjc, which is my dream jc..even though i wish tat i could go back there, but still i guess i am not willing to change sch now cos its like all the things we learned are thought differently, be it in term of speed and style..even though i dun reali like this sch cos of some unexplained reason, but teachers there are gd compared to other jcs..some more i used to be a retainee..will they want to accept retainee meh?i think they rather accept other ppl loh..like wat my brother sae, once a retainee always a retainee..their perception of retainee wouldnt change no matter wat...anyway i have all my friends over here, in jj, there isnt could all my friends have left jj liao..seriously i dun wish to change sch liao le, but my mum keep pestering and bothering me to change sch, when she haven even confirm tat will the principal allows me to step in jj again or not...i have been taking trains home for this 2 yrs liao le..i guess i am used to this life le..sigh...j2 isnt an easy life also..i know tat she wants me to change sch so tat the time spent on travelling will be reduced but if she reali wants to change now, it will cause more harm to me..
yesterday met an ah beng..he approached me and wanted me to lend him my hp..since i remembered tat the news did mentioned something abt such stealing cases so i choose to tell him tat i didnt bring my hp todae, i guess he knew tat i was lying..but why must i lend him my hp when he was carrying a hp on his hands??he was telling me tat he hp canot call out and whatever shit, but stilll i dun believe him..pls loh, if canot call out still got public phone available wat..trying to cheat me sia..then he sae he wanted to give me his ic if i dun believe but who cares abt ur ic..give me free i also dun wan..anyway luckily myriam was with me tat time if not i will be reali scared to death cos he got so many percering on his face and mouth and he got so many tattoos..so scary..but ended up he asked from myriam..i keep making my eye hinting her not to lend her hp to tat guy, but ended up she did..we wanted to msg for him but he sae no need..just wondering wat he is up to..seriously this kind of ppl veri hard to believe..but my sch ppl were to borrow from me then i will lend, cos at least they are not as cunning as those outside ppl..anyway why so many strangers approach me this few days for help or other things..do my face sae tat i am a nice person??hmm..anyway i guess tat it is better to pray safe tat better not to believe wat they sae..
todae is the last day of sch le..we had pizzas todae cos ms ang was treating us todae, and she bought 3 from pizza hut for us..it was reali nice of her to treat us cos its reali not cheap in total..todae see him veri shuai..duno why..hmm...then gonna miss the small boy liao..cos next yr he will not be with us le..sigh...i reali like his smile cos he is always smiling..todae many ppl didnt attend lessons cos afterall it is the last day of sch le..so class was like everi empty todae..
i am starting to have phobia towards j2 liao..seriously this holiday they gave us so much homework to do..not to mention tat i have 12 gp mindmaps to brainstorm..oh no it is driving me crazy loh cos i see all the topics i also duo wat to brainstorm and i have no idea how to start..sian lah, i see gp homework also dun wan to do liao..anyway i guess i will find my gd friend to teach me gp during this holiday..dun think i want to slack so much this yr, scared tat next yr i reali canot catch up then i die..hmm..christmas is coming soon next mon..hope can reali celebrate with someone rather than being alone every yr..feel like eating turkey cos reali nice..haha...hmm..reali long time dun have any news of him le..duno wat he is doing now??should i take the initaitive?hmmmmm.......

~sigh~

just knew yesterday tat my ex classmate didnt make it and she was kicked out..sigh..she is reali a nice ger, reali hope tat she can still stay in yj...hmm... and this yr many retainees kana kicked out, one main reason was tat our sch raised our standard..make it to 2 AS and one AO..my mum was saeing its easy to come yj, but hard to promote in this sch..yesterday went to orchard to eat..hmm..eat the crispy chicken..hmm..not bad..then yesyerday got so many ppl ask me to do survey and buy things from them, but they didnt approach the 3 of them..hmm, do i look reali tat nice and rich tat ppl always find me..i did for one of the office ger, but got one boy boy ask me to do for him, but i dun wan even though he kept pestering us..anyway he was cute, but doesnt mean tat cute must do for him..tml last day le...tat's fast..
todae had spring cleaning for duno wat..so stupid..anyway was so sian..but there was reali lots of laughter...haha..

~results are finally out le..~

everyone was just veri scared todae..practically they have no mood to listen to any lectures and lessons..actually todae i am abit scared, just scared tat i will be advanced case just like last yr when partly i retained becos i fail my gp but meet the minimum marks..but gd to sae tat i am reali promoted, not advanced..but one thing is tat i fail my promo gp paper again..sigh..its reali my daily work tat made me pass my gp..sigh like tat i think tat my gp confirm canot pass in A level liao..this time the paper consider easlier than most gp yet i still fail..hai~~~like tat i think i canot get a full cert liao for A levels..results not bad this time..all Bs for every subjects...didnt reali expect i can pass my physic paper but i did it, just lucky by 7 marks..at least this time my mean A level points is enough to go university, but still this is not the final one, the most impt exam has yet to come..
i am veri sad to see one of my repeat friend having to leave the sch cos she didnt made it..she was crying tat time she walked past me..i understand how she feels lah,i guess she must be feeling its the end of the world liao..sigh..heard there is 3 kana kicked out, the number is still changing so not reali confirm yet..5 ppl are leaving my class le..sigh..she was veri sad when she knows tat she was retained..can see tat she is holding her tears in front of us, but she just dun wan to cry out..i understand how she feels, cos last yr i experience the same thing wat..we all just duno wat to sae to her, just stay by her side to pei her since her gd friend seems like has forgotten her..i reali salute muscle man cos he is still optimistic even though he got retained..he still smile when he receieved the results..actually he sae tat he expected it liao and he wants to retain...2 of the other guys which i think they are nice ppl are also gone..sigh..tat cute small boy also retained...think he veri nice guy leh, reali sad to see him retained...next yr cant see him liao.. my ex repeat 106 repeat classmates didnt do as well, but most of them did get promoted..some still duno how they fare for it..but i am happy tat they have promoted..reali dun wish to see my friends leaving sch...
i still lost to my stupid brother cos he got one A but i dun hav..he some more boo at me..wa lao still dare to sae once a retainee always a retainee, actually abit insulting but i am used to it liao..i am happy tat we still stay as 4 ppl next yr, then like tat we no need to be seperated liao..yhew...
mum was quite happy but i am still not tat happy cos i still fail my gp afterall..i reali dun understand why my gp still so lousy???????????aiya reali feel like giving up on gp le..
terrence and jason saw me todae then they ask me for my results then later talk to terrence since i choose to sit behind him..duno why he see me face red, why arh?i also not pei seh..he and hydrogen always like to make fun of me when they see me, wa lao i reali tat nice to make fun off meh??his gf was down there laughing..idoit..
tml will be going out to eat to celebrate our results..the j2 still play computer up to now..wa they veri slacked sia, tml got physic paper still dare to slack..his chinese paper still get F9 again..aiyo chinese reali tat difficult meh??actually todae had quite some fun with him cos we are bullying him and call him shortie..he sae i short but i am a ger, considering my height i am quite long already..so too bad...hmmm...so tired todae...sch will be ending soon..tat's fast..one yr has just past, reali cant believe it..next yr will be a super busy and tired yr for me, think dun hav time to think of guys anymore..i think my whole brain will be all stuff with loads of informations..

~tat stupid ass...~

fri nite was veri veri sway..tat day i was quite angry sia..why leh?becos i meet up with one stupid ass trying to take advantage of me..wat the hell..he can just go and die...and i mean it this time..no guys are gd in this world, they just want to take advantage of gers..guys just jerks..
was taking the 243 bus, then a guy sat beside me..he is abt early 20s..seems to me like he is a university student cos of the way he dress..he look decent to me but came out he this kind of person..duno why he kept sitting nearer and nearer to me and i kept shifting until i felt veri squeezy until i got no more space to shift inwards liao..tat time i was angry man, was thinking "f*** lah, wat u trying to do..i also duno u at all.."usually i dun scold vulgarities unless i reali angry and pissed off..tat guy reali made me angry loh..ha wasnt fat at all, i dun see whe he need to sit so close to me..i kept staring outside the window cos i just dun want him to look at me, not even my side view..at a point of time when i reali canot tahan liao then i glare at him..he did stop sitting tat close to me, but after a while he got bac to his usual self..wa seh, i was just super damn angry, felt like slapping him cos i think he is a dirty old fellow, trying to pray on xiao mei mei....at a point to time, i indeed saw him looking at my side view but i heck care..actually he got nice eyes and he quite gd looking, but still i hate this kind of guys...LOUSY!!!! eel..when i think tat his body sticking to mine, felt reali angry man..he is not my bf, he has no right to stick his stupid body to mine..ass lah..conclusion is after scolding so much, i am not tat angry anymore..but still dun let me see the guy again, make sure i stare at him harder next time ..
sat went to ntu to eat in the evening..saw 2 ex-yjcians..then tat day my mum was veri bu shuang with one canteen stall holder cos she claim tat she has lousy attitude towards my mum but i dun think so..just think tat she over react liao..so she purposely tell the stall holder tat her food veri dirty cos got lots of houseflies..then the stall holder was quite unhappy with her..i also got sae my mum tat she herself also got attitude problem wat, but she just dun wan to admit..somemore still scold me..i think nobody can get along with her loh..i guess in future my brother gf also canot tahan her and confirm will quarrel with her..i think no guys will dare to date me cos my mama so fierce and unreasonable, whoever see her will be scared off by her and run away liao loh..pls loh, my dad never divorce her veri gd liao..also treat my dad so bad, keep scolding him when he should be the one scolding her cos he older than her..
then i keep quarreling with my brother and mum cos they sae i nowadays come home veri late..true..then my brother kept saying things tat are not true at all, saying tat i got a bf outside sch, but its not true at all..wat rubbish is this..tat's why i am super angry with him..becos he is always the one trying to strain my realtionship with my mum..i came home late nowadays becos i just dun like the feeling of getting home..no peace at all..dun feel any warm in this home..i rather stay out late and do all my stuff outside so tat once i get home i can sleep or watch tv liao..i dun understand why i dun like going home, but many of my friends like going home..many times i dun tell her the truth where i am going cos i dun feel the need to report everything to her..i hate being controlled by ppl..then my mum was telling me tat after my A levels she want me to work as relief teacher..i was telling tat she is crazy..i die die also wont work as teacher..then she still sae at least work as teacher no bad ppl, but i was telling her tat she everything also scared, then in future when i reali come out to work tat time, then it will be worst when i duno a single thing..think she is just too over protective..like tat in future i confirm canot survive one loh..
saw a sabaru car won in 2004..felt lucky to see this car cos reali not esay to spot this car..wondered why nowadays dun see any lr liao..then todae they sae got 5 ppl retained in our sch..2 gers and 3 guys..sigh tml 2 pm, results will be released liao..lets pray hard..duno why this yr i not tat scared as last yr, maybe this yr got more confidence ba..last yr results reali like shit..dun even dare to show ppl my results..someone sae tat my blog super long, and no paragraphs at all..hehe..i guess must be veri difficult to read ba..but duno why i always forget to leave paragraphs, i just type wat i am thinking..so tat's why super damn long mah..
holidays staring this sat le..yeah 1 and a half months of break...this holidays seems long this time..can reali do quite a lot of stuff..this will be going malaysia also..actually i hope can go indonesia there cos my mum was invited for wedding..but duno she want to go or not..actually the food quite nice, got lots of spicy food..yummy..ppl sae i eat chilli reali scary, reali meh??dun think so, maybe i kana influence by my mum le..hehe...
actually i think now i dun reali like him lah, cos tat time i was walking home from ntu, was thinking of the other guy instead of him, so after all its just a crush..and it wont be lasting..

~so wat abt the past 2 days...~

we had a nice day..jihan invited our class to her house for hari raya celebration..her house was cosy..even though my house seems bigger than hers, practically my house is just veri empty..i like her hand made cookies and the mee soto tat her mum cook..but i wouldnt dare to eat tat much of the cookies even though it was nice cos afterall i am at other ppl house, still need to have some basic manners..kay after tat went to bugis with yh to meet terrance and kelvin..wa lao why must i always play the role of a light bulb??i reali dun wan, but she begged me for any times then i agreed..actually kelvin isnt tat bad after all except he talk non stop..cant stand it..we pity tat terrance peng seh him with his "friends" to watch movie, then we then decided to talk nicely to him..actually he quite friendly towards me, not like tat terrence so dao..but seriously tat bad he veri shuai sia..then hor, tat terrence was veri guo fen..we agreed to meet at 3.15 but he turn up at 6.15..so ended up must wait for him for so long..and worst still we call and msg him and he dun wan to reply..yh was veri angry with him..seriously i hate guys to be late for so long, 1/2hr still ok but not more than tat.that time i rmb waiting for a guy friend for 4 hrs until i was so fed up..if i dun need the thing so badly, i also wouldnt wan to wait for him so long..i will forever rmb him man cos he is the most unpunctual tat i have ever seen...tat day still went to PS..tat shopping centre reali brings bac lots of memories...
yesterday finally got lessons le..he sat with me yesterday then iw as shocked so i asked him why he sat beside me..tat time the feeling was weird, i dun know how to sae the feeling exactly..if i treat him as a friend, i wouldnt feel tat rite?then i veri pei seh when he talk to me, dun reali dare to look into his eyes..i was quite distracted during lessons cos we did talk abit and its all becos of him tat's why i didnt pay attention..he even knows tat me and yh was talking abt him cos i was smiling away, then i guess he saw it and was giving me tat blur look..tat day, i did peep at him for a while..reali a while..not more than 1 min..when i couldnt see him, i would look around..oh man,am i having a crush on him?sigh, i dun want to like 2 guys at the same time ..like tat veri bad leh, seems like i am steeping 2 boats at the same time..i am relai confused..do i like him exactly?but i dun peep at him everyday leh, and sometimes i dun reali hav tat feeling for him leh, so do i consider that as i like him?hmm..i relai duno..after sch yesterday went to yh house to watch the VCD "wang zi bian qing wa.."..oh my god, it was so sweet, esp when the lead actor and actress kiss..then i was making a lot of background sound cos i excited for them mah..then spent 3 hrs at her house to watch but still haven finished watching..i veri slack sia, actually todae got test and i should be studying yesterday but i choose to watch VCD first..aiya but never mind todae the test also not counted, so i heck care..
think the surbaru challenge veri interesting and challenging leh..feel like participating leh..seeing the couple win the car like veri shiok like tat..actually my mama got ask me to learn driving but i dun wan leh, i scared of accidents..
after 2 pm on 15/11 which is next tues, i will be getting my results leh..this yr, there are a few repeats in my class..i guess these ppl will be tearing like wat happened to me last yr..hopefully this yr i will be walking outof the sch smiling away...
this yr the A levels quite difficult..heard tat from my friends..should i sae tat i am veri lucky tat this yr i didnt take my A levels..probably next yr will be an easy paper cos its always alternate..
todae day was short cos maths lesson suddenly cancelled..so went to yh house instead since i dun wan to go home so early..yh sae tat i got home but dun wan to go home..she just dun understand..i dun like the feeling of going home..

~Truancy~

this few days reali zhuo bo, come sch just to take attendace..seriously dun understand why must the sch make retainees to come bac sch even though there is no lesson for us..tat is just so bo liao..just my time either idling away or chatting away or sleeping..wanted to read some notes but too noisy so ended up looking at ppl...yesterday still play truancy..initally i dun wan cos i scared mah, but later the 3 of them keep dragging me to go off with them cos they sae i stay in sch so sian..so me and cm went to bluff the security uncle sae we wanted to go out a while to take something so we hav to left our ic no..but i gave a fake ic no..pls loh who so stupid to give the real number to let them catch us..surprising the list has already have alot of ic no..so b4 us alot of ppl did bluff the uncle..after tat we went to the bac gate to ask yh and her to throw ours and their bags to us, then later we came out empty handed..actually the canteen ppl got look at us but i guess they cant see us tat clearly cos it is just too far away..after which we went to delifance to eat something..ya mee, the pies reali veri nice leh..then sat there reali long abt 3hrs like tat.jamie do all the talking, so we all just listen..actually i prefer ppl do the talking then i listen..seriously she can reali talk alot alot and non talk..then after which we do felt abit guilty for wat we did so went bac sch to scan our card so tat they couldnt check on us..
todae even worst..even sian, but jamie look for us and she was the one talking non stop from morning til 1pm..wa i reali pei fu her..we talk abt our exs, qualites tat we look in a bf and so on...she and cm wan a rich bf no matter wat, then me and yh are just too afraid to spend too much of a guy's money cos we felt tat its not correct..cm was complaining tat the 27 yr old "old man" was veri stingy cos he treated her ramian which cost $5.80..she felt tat he veri stingy and niao..actually i think tat the guy quite gd already loh, 1st time on date somemore he treat, better than nothing...she was expecting some high class restaurants..she still look out for credit cards..oh man, i dun even bother abt this..wether he uses credit card or not also none of my business, all i know is got money pay can liao..jamie saes tat i am a veri naive person..do i??actually alot of person did said tat to me b4, but i just dun find myself naive leh..she sae she did hug ch just for fun cos she find ch cute..hehe..ya actually he yet cute but seriously hugging a guy is never a thing i would do unless the guy is my bf then it will be a different thing..actually i do like the feeling of hugging but i feel tat it will be veri funny to hug u friends and i will feel veri shy one loh...
one week more, i will know my results le..on 15/11/2005...seriously i hope i can get at least C for every subjects except for GP, then like tat i will not let myself down..then one week more, i will have holidays liao..this holiday is reali a long one..i have decided to prepared my j2 work during this holiday, just scared tat i canot catch up with the speed..
todae hui ling was asking me how did i did for my promos..cm said tat her words are like she is looking down on me..duno leh, i dun think so, or maybe i am just insensitive..but wat to do, being a retainee sure will hav ppl look down on u wan wat...anyway i am used to it already...but seriously this year and last yr results reali got drastic change..duno last yr wat i do also...
my dad was asking me wat i am to do in university if i got a chance to enter..seriously i duno leh..initally wanted to study maths but now i think maths veri sian now cos of the teacher make me feel sian...i dun hav any goal in life, i duno where am i heading to...sometimes i do feel emptiness and loneliness in my life this yr, but wat to do, wat is gone is just gone..life still goes on..yes, i do admit tat sometimes i do think of him, wondering how is he doing now and so on..but just dun dare to talk to him..sometimes i do feel heartbroken also...
i have been watching a lot of serials..practically went home everyday to watch tv onli and never do hw..oh my god, yesterday i was watching this korean show, the guy is just so sweet to the ger..i wish i could be tat ger man but provided my parents do not interfer then tat will be a veri veri sweet ending..sigh..i reali wish tat i can hav a guy to take care of me, dote on me then tat will be veri nice..but it seems difficult....tml will be a toturing day again, tml has to go bugis again...

~work?~

Was walking past wallet shop cos earlier went to supermarket to buy something to eat during the weekend…happened to hear a guy telling his frien “qin min, qin min…”actually it was not reali loud, but I can still hear tat he is calling my name..but I pretended I never heard tat cos I am rushing home to watch show..anyway he also never call out for me, so I cant be considered as dao..actually who are those 2 guys I also duno cos I didn’t turn back to look at all..i guess they should be my sec sch frien ba..then so qiao after them saw zhi xuan..she still look exactly the same as pri sch..i was staring at her for a few sec, still thought she can see me and maybe could chat for a while, but she did notice me..so never mind loh, I continue walking faster since I am in a rush..aiya if got chance and fate, we will always meet again..
I was pretty shocked when I know tat she is single already..i thought she and her bf quite stable..i guess both should be veri sad right now, but one of them will be more hurt than the other..even though she is slighter older than me abit, I guess our thinking should be quite alike ba, some more she share the same horoscope as me..she has removed all the picts tat she took together with him, I guess she must be feeling deep painful when she removed those picts..sometimes I reali envy her tat she is able to make a guy wait for her for SO LONG and luv her so much without changing his heart..actually I was quite touched when I read the storyline..but I can never make a guy like me so much cos I did nothing ..i guess the heartless one should be me instead after recapping wat I did in the past..i guess nobody can enter my heart tat soon, maybe a yr, or more than that, neither it is easy to find a replacement..
My auntie just called me just specially to look for me..i was quite shocked initially cos I tok she wanted to call my dad..she ask me to work for her in ntu cos she sae she dun have enough workers..wondered why she didn’t ask my brother..anway I dun understand why must she go one big round just to ask me whether I want to work for her or not..the cell group leader also..she go one big round just to ask me whether I want to go church todae..anyway for my auntie, I dun know she is waiting for my ans in the phone cos how I know..u also never make it so obvious to me..but later I told her I will ask my dad abt it first..my mum since young told me tat she is a bad person but my the other auntie even worst than her..actually I duno whether should I believe my mum cos I didn’t see them being mean to my dad b4..sigh..i duno whether I want to work for her or not leh..i also duno wat can I do for her, plus I also duno wat to talk to her, plus her daughter veri dao sia, come from RGS so wat..aiyo ask me to sell food, I know nothing abt it..
I have been eating a lot after the food poisoning, yesterday still eat pizza from bread shop..decided to treat yh eat cos tat time she treat me..shank yesterday call me, I got a shocked in my life cos he never call me b4, duno wat reason he wants to call me..actually he wanted me to ask my teacher to check out for him whether he did promote or not..but his tone is quite polite..hmm..i think he can change quite abit for the better..

~abit shocked~

i am using the comp todae then suddenly someone snap his fingers..then i look up..then is shank leh...ok i was quite surprised..he wanted to borrow my comp a while together with armrit (armpit)..he was talking veri nicely to me, doesnt seems to be him cos he always so vulgar..anyway we did chat lah..(surprising)..and he did use vulgar on me..hehe..
todae tat cell group leader call me..i still thought is who..but i didnt pick up cos i cant feel the vibration,think she want to jio me come their church..die sia..i dun wan to go cos i feel sian there, nobody i know except suzana...

~shocked~

i was reali shocked when i read abt zhi xuan blog..my sec close friend when i was in pri sch other than christine..this yr, still intended to meet up with her and christine, but last min she cant make it..my god, she changed totally, the way she talk is just veri vulgar and crude..practically every sentences got vulgarities..last time she wasnt like tat , duno wat changed her so much..now she even went to ITE.., dun reali knows wat happens to her now..is it her friends tat influence her??in pri sch, she was the guai and innocent type, but i am not reali close to her compared to christine cos she veri childish,,and she always like to act cute, pretending to be pole and lala (those teletubbies), so i find her quite irritaing..6 yrs never contact each other liao, wondered is she still tat childish,..
wed's and yesterday evening news reported something on lr..i like the one with the yellow lr cos it looks cool man..but too bad its driven by uncle..but how come most of the lr are driven by uncles arh?i thought tat lr should be driven by those handsome guys than like tat will hav the correct feeling, not meh>?hmm...my mama also did sae lr looks nice cos she was down there looking at the news..but there are many lr tat look like his one leh, initally wanted to look out for his lr and see if he is on tv, but i cant rmb his plate no..everything is just G plate to me..
then i was watching star idol, got ah bengs and ah lian join, then they not shy one leh..i thought star idol is more of look out for looks, i think they can go home and sleep..was seh, one is reali super ah lian..she even adjust her bra many times even though she knows tat she will be filmed on tv..aiyo like tat how to be idol..but there are a few pretty ones..guys not handsome at all..all quite ugly to me..
yh did ask me wether the ger tat approached us in orchard did call me or not..now then i reaslied tat so the 2 numbers was called by the company, but tat time i didnt pick up cos i didnt felt the vibration..but seriously the company reali want to hire me?are your sure?do i look hardworking those type?actually i am a veri lazy person..it will be their loss if the company hires me..
tml suzana and yh did ask me wether i wan to go out..but they going shopping again for clothes..aiyo i veri scared of shopping clothes with them cos they will take veri long time to buy just 1 shirt,,hai~~duno if i want to go..then they still ask me to go city harvest in the evening..hai~~~duno if i want to go leh..cos later like tat time duno wat to do when they praying then veri pei seh one leh..

~seems like long time never go sch le..~

sat went out with my parents to the buddhist lodge cos my daddy wanted to passa letter to them..then there got vegeterian mealwhen i ate it, i thinktat i canot be a vegeterian cos vegerterian fodd not nice at all..plus i cant survive without meat for the rest of my life..then we also happen to walk past the senior minister's house in somewhere near orchard..their house all sealed leh, cant even see how their outer structure is like, then got 2 policeman infront of their house..wa they look veri fierce to me plus look like they wont move at all..(seems like they are just freezed at tat point)anyway after tat we shopped again in orchard (3rd time in teh same week)..most of the time spent were in HMV then my dad and mum sit in the circular seats then me and my brother went into the HMV to listen songs..then tat day saw yj pe teacher..she did recoginsed me cos i always kana caught by her for not wearing the correct attire for pe..kay after tat my brother and dad went swimming at the je there..but i didnt want to swim cos i duno how to swim , plus i scared go swimming will spoil my hair texture..so me and my mum went to je instead to shop for shoes..bought 2 shoes tat day cos its cheap plus its nice..i always like to buy those ulu ulu shoes with those ulu brands then ppl will not have the same shoes with me..then i also like to buy striking colour shoes ..just duno why, maybe tat's just my style..or maybe i want uniqness..so far nobody in sch have the same shoe as me..intially wanted to buy a stylish shoe but dun have my size..so sayang man, like tat shoe so much..kay tat day reali spent quite a lot on shoes man..tat day more was veri tired cos i wore platform shoes, all thanks to my mum, she sae its nice to wear but actually not ..anyway i feel tall tat day, a;most equal height with majority of the guys..feeling is quite shiok, but its reali not nice to walk..
mon went out with my brother and mum to eat steamboat at marina south cos i need not go sch tat day..initally planned to eat with yh and cm, but cm suddenly sae she tired so not going liao..so me and yh also not going le..hai~~she always like tat..she is the one who wanted to eat yet ended up she didnt want to go..whenever we planned any outing, so far none has ever been successful..in future i dun wan go out with her anymore le..since i was so bored, i decided to jio my brother to eat with me..then my mum wanted to tag along ith us ..actually i dun wan her to come with us cos she veri mafan and always like to complain tat the sunlight is veri bright and always must take out umbrella..wa lao stay in the sunlight just for a while will die meh>always like to over react over staying in the sunlight for a while..anyway there super ulu leh even though we went there in the afternoon..if at night, i wouldnt want to go there alone unless got ppl pei me..they still cater shuttle bus from the mrt to their place..then the buffer cos $!0 for each person..i thihk is quite cheao lah..i ate alot until my stomach become so BIG..i think eating this is a better deal than seol garden ..aht they have in seol garden they also hav..except there no air con lah..seriously i like to eat crab but just duno how to cook, so we boil instead, so taste veri bad..my mum is veri lazy, all she know is to wait for us to cook for her..my brother did most of the cooking ..i also got do my part but onli abit..i onli in charge of taking the ingrediants and throwing the food into the bowl..and i did one veri bad thing..i cant finish alot of food and i dump it into a plastic bag cos the sae if waste more than 500g must oay $5..3 crabs is confirm more than 500g man..anyway i did it secretly, after tat i use water melon shell to cover the food then they wont know..we sat there continously for 2.5hrs..i should sae both me and my mrother are veri pro..my mum just ate veri little..there still got ppl fly kites, but seems to me quite sian..
kay after tat initally wanted to go to see the sea, but he cant find the place..actually last time i got walk past a veri nice place whereby its veri romantic esp at night, but i duno where is it..its comewhere in raffles, marina or city hall..but its just reali sweet esp if 2 ppl can spent their night over there..i still rmb last time i saw a lot of couples there at night..tat night was veri tired for me..
i have been watching a show..ager who cant think as normal ppl was kana rapped by a guy but yet she duno tat..she still can sae she like the guy becos the guy bought her clothers and undergarments..her mum was so angry with her and beat her up cos she felt tat her daughter was veri cheap..hai~~~i felt sad for the ger but her mum shouldnt be angry with her cos she cant think properly, instead she should understand her sitution..think i am quite a emotional person ..i will cry even if i am watching a show or even in real life..seriously whenever guys are gd to gers, does it mean tat they have any motives..most of the guys are just not gd to me..not tat i dun trust them but i just find it hard to trust them..i need time to see whether the guy is sincere for wat he is doing..this is someway tat i am protect myself..
yesterday had a super terrible food poisioning..my stomach pains for the whole day, from morning til late evening then i decided to eat medicine..in the morning b4 7, went to the toilet once..after i came out of the toilet, i feel veri weak..then duno why my vision is just veri blur, then after tat everything just blackout..tat time i cant see anything, just total darkness to me..tat time i grabbed on on the kitchen table, just felt too weak so i collapsed on the floor..tat time i was so scared,,but after a few mintues everything was back to normal..i can see already..seriously i think tat it is a fortune to be able to see after the sudden blackout of my eyes..nobody knows abt tat, but i did wake up my mum cos i make too much noise when i collapsed..then yesterday nite got slight fever and headache, then end up canot wash my hair for tat day, eee..felt so dirty todae..anyway i am reali scared fo food poisoning cos yesterday i was rolling on the floor the entire day cos my stomach is just too pain..i am most scared of food poisioning, but not others..reali veri sway man, duno kana how many times liao..somemore todae i lost my medicine, then yh sae my face look veri pale..of cos mah, sick ppl where will look healthy, plus yesterday never eat at all and went to the toilet for almost 10 times, of cos will shit until i feel veri weak..
todae i ask cm where she work then she sae pub..then she is in charge of drinking with customers..plus she sae she did smoke abit..hai~~~reali hopeless..then she sae guys will also touch here and there..so in other words, she is doing some kind of exchange service??i reali duno..but i think is some sort of it.she sae majority is office guys, but i thought they look decent to me leh, didnt know they are this kind of ppl..aiyo..dun understand why must she find those kind of jobs when there are others available..think she is reali the worst ger i ever seen..

~now i reali understand how guys feels~

for the past consecutive days, i hav been going shopping with yh..then for the past2 days, i hav been playing the role of a guy or should i sae tat i feel like i am a guy peing a ger to shop for long hours..actually i do kelian guys..now i understand why most guys dislike shopping with gers unless the ger is their gf then they bo bian..wed went bugis, then yh was taking along time to choose a shirt to buy then she will go many many shops to see..then she will always ask me nice?then i will always sae the same thing ;"ok lah.."actually i wasnt veri interested plus i feel tired cos my legs are so suan, just hope tat she can faster buy her clothes then can find a place to rest..i wonder do guys think alike as me when they are going shopping with gers..hmmm..
then after tat went to eat carrot cake cos long time never eat liao plus i got a craving for it..haha..i always want to eat something when i go out , or should i sae tat i am just greedy..haha..after tat went to the veri famous temple to pray for our results..i also did pray for the health of my family memebers plus my love life..hehe..abit stuoid rite?aiya i happy can liao..then after tat went sim lim square, but we walk 1 big round when sim lim square is just infront of us..we went there to check prices for kq for the lastest mp3..when we stepped in there, then immediately got one retarted guy keep saying:"2 xiao jie come here leh to look at our mp3.."and his voice is like veri disgusting..me and yh was laughing but just refuse to enter tat shop..anyway i was finding tat adaptor but got alot, i duno is which one, but seems to me the price is still quite resonable..seriously seldom see students going to sim lim square to shop except for us..kay, then later went to find french fries..i bet tat its $2 and its reali true..we were standing a few metres from the western stall and shea was so shocked and we quckily went out of the "food court" after tat went to doby daut..now then i know tat it is quite a walkable distance from bugis..
kay yesterday hav abit of lessons, but still i feel sian..seriously why all my friends keep finding jobs..when i ask them why they want to work now then they sae becos i lazy tat's why i dun work..seriosuly i dun see the point of working now..we are students so our goal is just to study and not work..they sae they wan to earn money to buy clothes, btu seriously i dun need money now for anything..even though my dad dun earn tat much, but we are still surviving well even though i am not working..it reali depends on how they spent their money..most of the time, they spent it on those unnecessary things..
kay after sch went to town AGAIN with jamie and yh..jamie wanted to buy a top just for wed's clubbing party and her parents gave her $100 for tat..oh my god they way she spent her money is reali terrible..she look at clothes without looking at price at all..initally she wanted to buy a $90 shirt at wisma, then i was so shocked..the clothes tat she choose i super matured which i will never wear at my age..plus she is veri picky at choosing clothes..she dun wear those shirts tat show her arms plus becos of her veri broad and muscular shoulders, its reali veri difficult for us to find something tat suit her..sersiouly i was quite sian and tired finding clothes for her cos those i choose she dun like..
then got ppl approach us saying tat they wan to find ppl for advertising..initally i heard it as modelling, then i was thinking HUH?MODELLING?we just dun hav any modelling qualites, but came out is i heard wrongly..we did leave our contacts to her but i give it just for the aske of giving but seriously i am not interested at all..at most if i see anomalous no then i dun pick up loh..then we also went to eat chicken at far east..they sae its nice but i dun think so leh..initally wanted to ta bao the left behind for them but since jamie wanted to eat so i gave her loh,..oh my god her appetite is just reali huge..i thought i myself eat quite a lot liao compared to other gers but i found someone who can win me and tat's jamie..my god she can finish the entire packet of chicken when i cant finish..wa i reali faint when i see her eat so much,,then guess wat i saw shank with a ger!!!!he did saw us but he gei siao never see us..i wanted to kar jiao him so i sae EH?SHANK?then he did wave to us..then initally wanted to ask ch to go town with us, then jammie was begging him, but he dun wan cos he sae gers shop alot until he canot take it..lso he dun want to go..anyway we did talk quiet alot even though i dun reali know her tat well..she and cm wanted to jio me and yh to clubbing cos they got some party, but i just dun wan to go cos i think there veri complicated,not suitable for slow and innocent ppl to go..anyway there also got a lot of smokers and bad guys..anyway i dun understand why ch always like to touch my short ponytail..he sae veri cute..kay, i dun think so at all..anyway maybe next time can consider cutting tat length again..hmm..
kay todae come sch just for 1 lesson, so i finished lesson at 9, which is super early, but i cant go out of sch until 1..then i was late to sch todae cos my mama woke me up late..then todae ms ang announce tat retainees are promoted but not cm..sigh..its a bit sad..ms ang said tat i pass everything..so this time not so bad lah..so conclusion is i am PROMOTED! yeah!!!!!

~how to make u smile~

~the past 2 days~

so wat am i doing for the past 2 days..seriously being a retainee isnt easy cos we totally dun hav any lessons, just must come sch just to mark attendance..then after which we will just slack all the way until 1pm..so tat's how i spent my day in sch..seriously tues reali super sian, intially play comp then after tat eat, then after tat sat at the sofa to sleep, then later came ch, then follow up our class guys..we are talking abt cm's tat one, seriously the guys find her disgusting after knowing her things, they sae they dun even wan to look at her..but reali tat bad meh..i thought she is ok..hmm..then reali veri funny loh, we sat there for 2hrs just to talk..then we are kar jiaoing ch cos cm seems to like hjm..then he was sitting beside me, then i was peeping at his features, then realised tat eh actually his features are not bad..plus he quite innocent also, but not as innocent as me...after sch then went to eat waffle with him and yh..tat was reali the longest time we talk to each other..anyway he got the innocent cute..after which went with yh to the yishun libraby to kill time..
yesterday went out of sch early to town, practically leave sch at 12.30..seriously town abit sian leh, we didnt reali shop, spent most of our time in HMV listening to those music..plus yesterday raining so spoil part of our day..we went to far east to eat the chocolate mars..initally wanted to eat the taco ball but later never eat cos on budget liao..then yesterday 3 ppl approach us asking we all to donate for duno wat organisation but we didnt cos i felt like they are cheating to cheat our money, they like to prey on students, but we smart leh, just dun wan to donate to them leh, they just canot do anything to us..
todae will be going bugis to walk walk cos yh wanted to buy clothes..maybe after tat will go sim lim square ba, if i can find the way there..i am seriously scared sia, this fri we retainees will know wether we can promote or not, but those new j1 canot cos they still got pw and chinese A level exam coming, so in order not to affect them, the sch decided tat we dun wan to tell them until their exam finishs..seriously i must reali pray hard tat i can promote..wondered will they moderate for phy or not leh,if not reali alot of ppl will flung the paper badly..kay, i wan to see harry potter liao cos tanu lent me to VCD to watch..i will just stay in sch to watch..haha..

~i am just super blur tat day~

oh my god, i reali did super pei seh thing..on fri evening, i was going to call my brother cos its quite late liao and he still haven come home with the food and i was quite hungry le..then how i know why i suddenly recall the wrong number then call him without realising tat i call the wrong person..initally when i picked up the phone then i realised tat why is not my brother's voice..at first i still thought is his friend, so i ask who is he..then the guy sae is him..then i was thinking oh shit..i think he must be thinking i gei siao wan to call him still use my brother as excuse, but tat day i reali never gei siao wat..i dun even dare to msg him, dun talk abt calling him..so i reali never gei siao..at times ppl do make mistakes and recall the wrong number and call the wrong person without realising..but this is not the first time liao..sometimes i do call the wrong person..seriously i duno wat to talk to him after so long never talk le..all i know is tat i wan to quickly hang up the phone to cover my embrassessment..wa lao, its all my brother's fault..if not i also wopt call him by mistake and make myself pei seh..aiya, never mind i rest assured tat in future i wont call the wrong person liao..wa lao i super pei seh tat time..hai~~~~wat has happened has happen le, thinking so much also cant change the fact tat i did call him...i told yh abt it and she laughed at my blurness and worst still of all person, i call him..but not my fault wat, tat time i thought tat no was my brother one's so i just call loh..
my brother has got his results for promos..one A and 3 Bs,,wa seh i reali salute him cos he is just too smart..even though i retained 1 yr still cant beat him..now he is thinking to take 2 special papers just for future scholarship..wondered how he is going to cope man..anyway i can onli get my results on 18 of nov..still so long sia..seriously i duno if i can promote or not le..the most worried is my gp..tat gp compre paper most of the qns is i anyhow do cos i dun even understand wat the passage is trying to sae then how to do..if things turn out bad this time, i will reali cry for days..never mind,now i dun think so much, wait till near the date then worry lah..
i reali addicted to watching tv liao..practically spent my day watching tv and sleep..like tat i will go fat sia..then realised tat my brother has "grown up" liao.,.he is no longer xiao didi le..cos he like got muscle leh, then hor he got those smelly armpits hair..haha..then super stink loh,canot tahan him..he ask me to pluck his armpit hair for him cos he feel veri itchy, then i this "nice" sister help him loh since i wan to make him feel painful..but then i need to cover my nose and mouth cos i will reali faint..haha..then i was watching a variety show whereby they let ppl guess who is the champanion for bra model..oh man when i see i felt disgusted cos its reali damn big..then those guests (guys) still somemore sae can come closer to take a closer look..wa lao they reali pervert sia, should sae tat they are dirty old fellow..anyway tat variety who is nice, kept makeing me laugh..
on sat, it was a tiring day for me..afternoon went out with yh to shop until my legs so suan..then after tat went to the library to rest our legs and also take picts..then after tat went to make spects..finially i found a spects tat suits me and make me more stylish..after which, she went up to my house..she is my sec frien tat entered my house b4..most of them didnt step into my house b4..my mum sae she quite chio..ya true, she look chio tat day..
kay after tat went to church..when i stepped into the church for service, i was just reali amazed tat the church look veri polished and classy..then got lots of ppl also..the service tat i went to are meant for adults, but there is quite a no of youths..then suzana did introduced lots of friends to us, including some yjcians, but i didnt make it an effort to rmb cos i am veri tired due to the shopping..i just smile and shake hand with those guys and gers and after tat stare into space cos i feel like sleeping..actually i realised tat church ppl are quite friendly..then the leader still ask number from both of us..i was thinking can i dun giv but end up i did gave her cos duno how to reject..kay went to their auditorim, i felt tat ia m entering a live concert hall cos there are lots of camera which are used to broadcast into the net, plus all their lightings and band are just reali nice..first part of the service was praying which i find it veri sian cos duno wat they talking abt..then things tat amazed me tat why must they always rise up their both hands when they pray and the way they pray look terrifying to me cos they look obsessed and their facial expression reali scare me off..sec part was singing which i find it quite nice..i realied tat their songs are quite nice, at least better than those rock music and the indonesian pastor reali sing veri well, just like his voice..on ething i realised is tat their lyrics kept repeating abt 4 to 5 times until its super long.then i was reali amazed tat those adults are so enthu cos they kept jumping up and down when they sing and when they pray they are reali devoted and commited to jesus cos from their expressions most of them are closing their eyes..no i know why tat time he siad city harvest is happening..reali it is..lastly was the teaching of the bible..seriously i felt like sleeping tat time cos i dun understand wat the pastor kong was talking abt cos his english just seems too chime for me to understand..but i like the ho yeow sun's husband speech cos he veri funny plus i thinking he is a veri gd speaker and he is knowledable also...in all i learnt tat christian like to use the word "aman" and "ah le lu ya" but i dun know wat it means..anyway there is a big difference in christian and buddhist..they are just veri commited and devoted to religion..whereas for me i am not devoted to religion at all..in fact i wan to be a free thinker..and starting for 1st dec they will be moving to expo le..tat quite fast, it seems tat they just moved to jurong not long ago and now they want to moved..they ask me come for this fri gathering but dun think i wan to go cos i will find it veri sian if i go there too often and always doing the same old thing..anyway our yj senior look cute, but like some cartoon character, but he abit short..tat day reali see alot of chio bu and yan dao..
yesterday wrap presnts for them..wa lao i wrap until super ugly..duno if i got the cheek to giv my frien or not..todae also so sian..stay in sch get to play computer..

Yesterday was watching tv the whole day..felt so shiok man, never reali sit in front of the tv for entire day for almost a yr liao..yesterday was watching the qing wa bian wang zi..oh man the lead actor is so shuai..his eyes are just so nice and can reali produce “electricity"..afternoon went jp to get the lens since I got so much time to waste..when I went into the shop, I was finding a female assistant but there is none, so bo bian must find a guy assistant..actually I dun reali like talking to guy assistant, duno why..maybe I feel shy..in mrt also I will never ever choose to sit beside a guy unless tat guy is a xiao didi..duno why leh..

Todae woke up quite late even though yesterday I slept early..after which went to the market near jjc there..i was angry with my mum cos she veri guo fen loh..she happily dump all the things tat she bought which is veri heavy cos got a lot of fruits, vegetables, mee and many other more, then after tat she went off with yi jie mum to jp..then she made me carry the broom tat she bought..initally she wanted to dump 2 more stuff for me to carry but I reali got angry..wat kind of excuse saying tat go jp canot carry all those plastic bags…I think its more of tat u are lazy and making use of me to carry..so ended up I carry things tat should be carried by 2 ppl and carrying the stupid broom is so mafan and irritating ..then the stupid bus some so slow, then I got veri fed up..now my hands are reali aching..

Then so sway saw the qwss jing yi in the bus stop..duno why from far I know tat guy is him already even though I didn’t wear my spects..kay so I pretended to never see him by bending my head down and covering my face..but end up he still saw me cos after tat he walk a few steps away from me then I saw he and his friend turning bac to look at me, then so qiao I saw also looking at them also..then I was thinking oh shit, then I quickly turn bac..actually suprising he still remember me..he did become more yan dao. He did change his hair style liao..at least now he did make his hair stand liao..he did became taller a bit or is it the pants make him taller..hmmm..kay anyway I super pei seh loh cos tat time I was carrying a broom leh and so many many plastics bag.then I look like some aunite and I wear until veri ugly cos I thought going market wat so no need to wear veri nice..actually I am a person who always like to gei siao tat I never see the person when I actually got see..plus I am a veri self conscious person..i matter a lot on how I dress when I go out..when I go out with my friends I make sure tat I dun wear until veri ugly..just duno why..plus duno why if there is a pimple on my face then it will matter a lot to me..some ppl dun reali care but I care a lot on complexion..kay, I also saw cheong guan, but he didn’t saw me..he became more plump leh..plus his back no longer look attractive to me liao..last time sec sch I like to look at his back a lot cos I think he veri cute, I some sort got a crush on him, but not for long..onli a few days onli..after tat I got sick of seeing him liao, so I change to another target, james I think..remember last time maril always like to sae my taste veri bad, so none of the guys tat I look are gd looking..but every person has different taste wat, I like guys tat are cute and got big eyes (cos my eyes small wat)..then I can admire the guy’s eyes..

Then todae took the 99 bus then I find tat those drivers reali got attitude problem sia..the bus drivers nowadays veri alert sia, todae they caught 2 ppl never pay.. one of them use his younger brother bus pass to pay and was caught by the bus driver..they got the machine in front of them then once u tap the card every thing will show..so if a ger uses a guy card then its obviously she is using other ppl’s card..that malay teenage was caught and he was asked to give down his name and ic..i think the guy reali siao now, think he going to hav a record man..i still thought most bus drivers are stupid ppl but seems tat I am wrong man..they are reali getting clever nowadays..they even hav the machine to check on u..then one old man didn’t want to pay and he even pretended to tap his card from far away but got error so it alerted the driver so he asked him to tap again then he not happy and he scolded vulgarities..seems like now the society is reali complicated..i took old ppl are gd ppl but it came out to be likewise..maybe my thinking are got too simple ba..lots of ppl told me tat, even my mum said tat also..

Sian man, now nobody at home now..i am so bored now..i switched on the radio until super loud cos just feel veri bored..duno if later want to go canteen A or not to eat, cos when I think of I need to walk so far away then I veri sian liao..going to sleep for awhile now..feel quite tired after coming bac home..at nite I will continue to watch tv..feel like playing piano for a while cos long time never touch my piano le, but I dun hav any new scores to play..maybe mon go sch find then print in sch..then like tat I wont feel bored in sch..

Tml will be quite occupied..afternoon going jp with yh since she never went there for long already..after which i need to make spects then after tat will go church..then late at nite then I reach home..but not so bad lah, at least I live near there..

50 -50

Its been a long time I never wrote a proper blog le..finally the promos tat I long await has finally ended after a yr..chem was quite easy, maths okok…physics reali super difficult, practically I dun know every questions..i am just scared tat I will get a F for it then I will get kick out of sch le..jamie also cried on tat day cos she left most of the questions blank..for me, I tried to fill up every blanks even though I dun know how to do..we retainees just hav this fear tat we cannot promotedue to last yr experience..actually I reali duno if I can promote or not..% is just 50-50..so far my physics always get B or C, haven got a reali lousy grade yet..so reali duno this time..but all I can sae is tat I hav tried my best liao le..i pon 2 days just to study and last week I was so stressed tat I cried 2 days cos I was having headache then I canot study..at tat time I tok I will develop some mental problem and need to see psychiatrist cos my mother also said tat..but luckily I ok now le..maybe I stress myself too much liao le..then the nite of physics paper, I felt like vomiting when I was studying, after tat I went to sleep cos reali canot tahan..probably, I didn’t sleep enough tat’s why like tat everyday I sleep for 4 hrs onli just to study for the exam..i realized tat u need to train to sleep 4hrs eah day beforehabd so tat at least tat ur body can get use to it..maybe my body canot take it tat’s why like tat..when I was doing the exam paper,. My eyes were so painful..i wanted to give up tat time but I didn’t dare cos I dun dare to take the risk..
Anyway exam has finished..retainees just dun hav anything to do..they sae come bac sch for self study but who so bo liao and stupid to study after exam..life is so sian now loh even though I can slack all I want..after the last paper, the 3 of us went to eat dinner..then saw a lot of our sch couples eating together..tat’s sweet..actually both of us felt tat having a bf now would be nice but sometimes when u think tat having bf would bring more troubles to u, then we rather stay single..
This sat nite going to city harvest church with yh and suzana..excited sia cos can meet a lot of ppl then can widen my social circle also..seems not bad..then can shun bian go ther see see look look at yan daos and chio bu..maybe after tat go eat super with them..maybe tat afternoon will look for presents for my j2 friends..last yr, wee ping still gave me a happy meal to cheer me up when I was retained..even though it’s a bit stupid, but its sincerity tat counts and not the present itself..this yr she taking her A levels must give her encouragement..i think she is quite a nice friend to be with, b4 my promos she did giv me some encouragement plus my friend, not to mention my gd friend..they all are just veri friends..without them I will still brood over TAT problem..sigh, last wed dun hav time to see their graduation day cos I hav to went home early to study..i haven sae gd bye to them then they go liao..so fast..hai~~reali so sian man now..todae and tml will be holiday for me..reali got nothing to do..ask them come out go eat, then yh sae I on diet..so canot, cm lazy to come out cos this few days kept raining..the rest of the ppl got Chinese and pw exam coming..so the retainees will be super free..actually I wanted to jio christine to come out, duno she free or not cos its during sch day then duno she got lesson tat day or not..aiya, in all I can sae is I am veri veri sian..my mama kept asking me to pei her go market to help her carry the heavy things, which I am veri lazy to do so..
I finally can rest after a yr of hardwork plus slacking..i felt tat having a gd foundation is reali impt..last yr, my foundation was just super weak until I got retained..this yr the sch is raising its criteria for promotion..they siao one loh, like tat they will end up retaining more ppl..this yh no use retaining ppl cos next yr syllabus change liao..anyway I can predict who will retained in my class liao..abt 3 to 4 ppl..sigh..some of them will scrape through..this yr, my dad going to bring us to Malaysia again..either going KL or johor..yeh..so happy..can go eat and buy things until siao man..then my mum sae tat if this time I do well for my promos then she will reward me, but wonder wat is her reward man..think physics this time gone case liao..hai~~~

~sick ~

last sat was sick cos i onli sleep for 3hours..then i was having a slight fever..then my mama was boiling some ginseng drink for me..but after tat i did sleep before i study..so overall still got alot to study..die still got 1 more week..then my mama dun let me pon liao..wa lao now i got dark circles man, look like some panda now..hai~~~so sian loh, i never so hardworking in this yr b4 loh..wake up at 3 or 4 something just to study..
anyway now i am reali sleepy and tired..feel like sleeping man..
die seems like quite a no of ppl know wat's my website le..kay maybe after my promos i go make a new blog since i got so much time..then after exam still must look for presents for my friends cos they are leaving..and tat will be the time i am broke..

~i am veri stress until i cry..~

my mum and brother are irritating ppl..they keep scolding and all those stupid things..i so stress up liao then they still make me so fed up..i felt tat i am breaking down soon man..just now still cried..then my mum kept scolding me tat i keep poning sch..then my teacher kept asking me why i never come sch and all those..she knew tat i am poning sch liao..its so obvious..so i bluff her tat i got headache so i not coming sch..but she sae need mc and all those shit.but i heck care man..headache also need to see doctor, where got such logic..anyway i just dun like her as my form teacher..she cant stand in our shoes on leh..
die man, i still got alot of things haven cover yet..just super tired and stres...i guess the next few days i will cry again man..then some more my mood is quite bad now..i get angry easily..probably i am just veri stress up for now..kay must study liao..since todae i espacially pon sch.so must make full use of it..

~worried~

just took the gp paper..seriously i am reali worried..duno if i can make it or not..think i can sleep man..hai~~~

~stress sia~

stress sia next mon gp paper le..die..so got so many things to do..

~tired and stress is all i can sae..~

on sat, went out without tying my hair, i just wore a hairband cos tat day i dun feel like wanting ppl to recognise me plus i feel like being those typical hairband gers..actually wearing hairband is not as comfortable as wat i think, its just make my head so painful even though i wore it onli for half a day..duno why so many gers like to wear hairband..in future i am just not wearing any more even though it looks quite ok to me..
kay on my way to mrt, saw qi fang..she changed quite a lot, became veri matured...duno why most of my friends dress until super matured..doesnt look like 18 at all..i still rather choose to dress up like those young mei mei so tat at least i dun look old and matured..at least ppl can still call me xiao mei mei rather than xiao jie..haha..
kay then i reach the mrt super early and has to wait for them to come..then during this time, i just stand down there and enjoy the "fashio show"i realised tat most ppl do dress up when they go town..and most gres do make up..seriously during tat time i feel reali relaxed, just duno why..staying at home just make me reali stress..wondered why so may ppl like my age got the time to go out during weekends...jc life is just veri hectice and fast..most of us just dun hav the time to go out during the weekends cos we always spent the weekends doing hw and revision..tat;s why yh was saying tat most ppl are attached when they are in jc cos they find tat their life veri lonely..they just need a companion to be with them so tat they can share the pain together and rather going through the pain themselves..actually wat she sae is true, my life is just go sch, eat, sleep and watch tv..so sian,..the presentation was boring, the nice part onli came when there is refreshments..anyway my form teacher is in the video..anyway she look damn ugly in the video cos she didnt wear make up, no wonder now she laways wears make up to sch everyday..
sun did thihk of something..i still cant forget every words tat was said..for now i may sae tat oh tat guy is so gd and nice, but if the day reali comes i will just reject or think reali long cos i am just too scared to get involve in such things again..i just want to protect myselffrom getting hurt cos its just not easy to forget everything..for me, i find it hard to tell a guy tat i wan to break up with him cos its like too cruel and will be veri veri hurting to him..i wont do tat unless he do things tat let me down or doesnt cherish me at all..other than tat i will try to salavge everything if it is within my means..to me, i find tat is of no point aksing a guy to stay on if he might be there for u physically but in his heart he wans to end everything..if like tat i would rather he break up with me and lead on with his new life..for some gers they will just pester and beg the guy bac, but like i sae its no use cos his heart is not with u..soemtimes i am just veri straight forward.i just dun like guys to lie to me , lying to me just make me feel insecured..as for now, i guess i am not willing to get involved in such things unless my heart can overcome the fear in me..but seriously i hope tat we can still talk like wat we used to, not like now, feels like i am his enemy..
suddenly ppl around me are so hardworking, which make me more stress..to be exact gp is just next mon and around less than 3 weeks time will be the main papers..sigh i am just reali scared..so far haven studied the past topics cos too much hw to do le..duno why i always sleep and zhuo bo once i reach home..yh sae tat i am quite slack even up tp now and it seems tat i am going to give up soon..hai~~seriously i need ppl to push and wake me up other than my mum cos i am just too tired,,it seems tat i am bac to wat i used to be..for now, i am still writing my blog cos at least i do practice my gp compo skills..sigh i am reali scared cos its the final exam le..if i canot make it then i will hav no other place to go le..(wish me luck then...)
the j2s and leaving soon just few days b4 my promos..hai~i will hav to go sch and bac home alone..seriouly comparing my current gd frien and my last yr classmate, i still prefer them..yh is just too impatient and bad tempered..now even worst, she like everyday bad mood..so scared of her man..me and her sometimes just canot click along,but i do hav to compromise towards her..
kay i must reali cut down on the time on comptuer after my gp paper..so tat i dun waste my time..if i reali need a break then i will touch it for a while..

~sian man~

during gp on mon, yh was like showing me attitude and johnson was sitting in between us.then johnson was like saying her and she got angry..but later i asked johnson to keep quiet and after tat everything as ok..johnson was saying tat if he were in my position, he would show her attitude and get angry with her, but i didnt..aiya, i am not tat petty type, cant reali get angry with a person for long..maybe i just got patience..everything to me is "never mind lah"..
seriously whenever i see the mm trophy in my sch office, it reminds me of him..tat's how we got and became together..it reali brings bac quite alot of memories when i was in sec sch when i saw tat, just duno why..maybe tats how we first met..
then tues during assembly, garnesh called my name in front of the entire sch..then i was thinking, oh shit he must be catching me for my coloured hair and asking me to stand up as a punishment..then agnes was asking me did garnesh called my name cos she appently heard my name..but guess wat, he wanted to call the guy diagonal to me cos he got long hair, but he duno the guy's name so he use my name..i was so scared to death loh..i rather he duno me and never teach me b4 cos hs is the discipine master..i am quite scared of him in fact, even though i always smile to him when i see him..
then johnson told me abt jeremmy and denise and wat they do in the shopping centre outside..my first rxn was MY GOD!, he doesnt seem to be those kind of pervert and despo guys..last yr, i still thought tat he is a stupid and guai guy..and worst still she didnt stop him when she knows tat she is in the public with so many ppl..if they want to touch here and there can go somewhere else wat whereby some ulu place..its a disgrace man...anyway dun understand why such a chio bu will like tat fat ass when his character just sucks and he smokes..i think tat denise wan to be with him so tat he can suck his money cos he rich..dun reali thihk tat she reali loves him, i think love his money would be more possible..anyway she has satrted picking up smoking partly becos of his influence..hai~~~actually i am reali scared of guys cos they are veri despo leh..u never know wat they will do to u..and those guys tat look veri stupid cant be underestimated cos they are equally despo and dirty...this is something tat i just realised..i still thought tat those guai looking guy are decent but actually they are not..
then got sex edu talk given by the CID..then super fuuny loh cos the way they sae the process..and i was down there laughing like some crazy ger..just to share a joke here, the CID guy questioned the guy victim and asked, "wats so nice with 2 swords fighting?"ppl who are fast will know wat it means but ppl who are slow like me cant get the meaning initally but after tat i was enlightened..actually how it would be nice if we hav sex edu instead of all those boring subjects, then confirm i will be veri attentive..duno why last time when i am young, i hope tat my bf is a policeman cos they just look so cool and brave to me..then like tat they can protect me if i got into trouble..i pictured them was superman, just duno why leh..haha...but the CID guys giving the talk not cool at all, instead they look like uncle to me..i still prefer those policeman who wears the black unifrom..cos they look cool..
then chem SPA was ok lah..initally i was tremling so bad tat my hands started to shake so badly when i added the chemicals into the test tubes cos i am just veri scared mah and canot play play becos its an A Level exam..i was assessed by mr chua..duno is heng or sway, cos last yr he my chem teacher..maybe this time can do well..
we wre touching muscle's man muscle cos we were curious how hard it is..actually not reali hard leh but i was reali disgusted when i saw the picts online showing all those macho guys..eel........too muscular until i wan to faint..muscular guys seem fierce to me and they will like beat ppl if they not happy..i thihk i still prefer guys who are cute, always wearing a smile and understanding and etc..
then todae i sort of like cheated during the maths test cos i see the qns b4 hand le and memorized the ans and steps 15 mins b4 maths lesson..then after the trest cm was like super angry cos teacher confirm knows tat she has cheated cos her pen ink for every qns are different so obviously she has written her ans beforhand..then she was like damn piss off and went off just like tat..wa gers are veri scary man, they like always mood swing one..luckily i not like them, sometimes i do hav but its once in a while,even if i got, i will still talk to my friends in a nice tone except tat i will feel veri irritated..duno why everybody just likes to play with my monkey until its so dirty now..ch and yh was saking me if it was given by him but i said no..i hang it there cos i think its cute, not becos its given by him..things given by him are buried somewhere already, i wont take it out unless there will be a miracle..
sigh tml still need to go the stupid presentation ceremory in somerset..aiyo so far from my house..reali veri lazy to go..somemore i still got lots of stuff to do..die man, gp is in a week time, i reali need to be prepared..the rest of the subjects reali need to be revised as soon as possible cos i think 3 weeks not reali enough to cover everything cos everyday still need to go sch..hai!~~~~