my xiao gu called our house yesterday finally after 10 yrs plus..she was talking to my dad abt my da gu going woodbridge..but nobody juz wanted to tell the real reason why she ended there not even her own daughters and sons..so what exactly is the real reason??mim seem veri happy tat they got their retribution finally but on the wrong person..wa lao she evil sia..afterall she once has take gd care of us when i was small tat time..she often tell me tat when i go up dun acknowledge them becos they cause so much harm to us..but wat has happen has already happen..it is over 10 yrs plus..then why should we still continue to bear grudges against them..
anyway my mum sae tat lek chee has some mental problem now..hai~now she muz quit sch and stay at home..yi jie mum went to see her but she sae she seems ok leh..wondered does she still rmb me as the mm ger who played mouse with her during sec sch??though most of us dun reali like her during sec sch becos find her veri irritating, but sometimes i do kelian her for kana being leave out most of the time..she seldom come mm most of the time..whenever she comes is onli once in a blue moon..hai~reali feel kelian for her..why does ppl whom i know nowadays hav mental problem arh..this is weird..then todae had mental block for maths test..wa lao suddenly forget everything on how to solve the problem..think i will fail badly..but never mind..its onli a small percentage onli..muz look on the bright side..sian man..next week got chem test..this week end has lots of things to do..take care diary wont be telling u things for the next few days
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
~so hows my day~
on mon was so "busy" sending the gers the friendster picts durin gp lesson..then was browsing through my friends friendster webpage..realised tat i onli got 2 friends tat are reali "older" than me..aiya becos seeing ppl with my age got veri sian so i went to see th one..went to see his gf profile but canot becos she limit her profile..but they quite sweet arh put the same pri pict..winfrid one also quite funny..think he is cheeky person..then also went to see ppl whom i heard b4..but i wondered how come he and th got to know so many ppl from all different places..hmm..maybe they got to know them through mm?
then on mon afternoon after sch, chatted with yi guang since we happened to saw each other by accident..then he asked me which cca i am in during sec sch..then i told him aiya u duno one..then realised tat he from SJI so confirm got mm as cca in his sch..he told me tat his sch mm team veri strong and is quite famous..ya quite true..past few yrs always see them getting quite gd..then he asked me why i dun wan to join bac mm..i told him not i dun wan is yj dun hav..tat time went to the office then saw the mm trophey in the display cardboard..they got 3rd and 4th during the 2nd and 3rd mm competition..wondered why they close down mm..hmm..then he said you still can join it as an external cca wat..aiya then i said dun bother lah..anyway nobody is there to teach me..seriously i miss playing mm now..last time dislike mm becos must see tat mr ling face and got the competition..so veri stress..but i still like the days which we hav competition becos tats the day we all get togther to do mouse and nothing else..then there will be lots of laughter esp if th and bc come to our sch..wa miss the time together..then if u can still do mouse with the guy u luv, then will be veri nice..but sad to say it wont happened again..like wat he used to help us whenever our mouse got problem..
then recently my gu gu called us and tell us tat my big gu gu went into woodbridge after kana caught by the police..think my dad like canot take it from wat i see from his face..hai~i dad seem sad..actually i reali curious how does woodbridge ppl like arh>?are they reali siao up there?maybe i can tag along if they wan to visit her..
then on tues, we were sitting beside chee how..then me and yan hui was like bickering in a funny way then later chee how was laughing..wa lao feel like a clown like tat providing ppl free entertainment..then duno how later ended up bullying him..realised tat he got this bad habit of drinking his "milk bottle" every 5 to 10 mins..then yan hui did tried to "steal" his "milk bottle" but our mission failed becos he realised is we all who did it..
then was sitting in audi behind john..then saw john feeding his gf with chocolate..then i was smiling behind his bac becos both of them veri sweet towards each other..then seeing wat they did onli make me recalled the past when we were eating tibits in the theatre..
then wed saw shank eating alone then i tell can tat ur xiao shuai ge so lonely..u go and pei him lah..then looking at the way can looks at him make me puke..gosh..wa lao got bf liao still so flirty..duno he is bf knows tat then wat will he do to her..then during maths lesson was practically laughing away becos he and justin was providing entertainment for us..yan hui was saying with him around indeed make our day..ya quite true becos we always bully him and yet he wont bully us bac except doing so stupid actions..hmm..seems like we reali got closer..
then after sch went to ajc to see their dry lab..wa lao there so many sophiscated equipment..the indians doctors were explaining to us how to use and tat but i dun understand a single thing tat she said..too chime liao..juz like first time th was teaching us mm..so now i knoe tat doing titration is so impt liao becos its needed if u wan to go into chem industry..but anyway the whole thing is so sian..then later went home with lina..she tok i lesbian sia becos i kept noticing gers from sn..eh got wrong meh looking at gers..i onli think tat small size look veri cute mah..then duno how later she ended up asking do i hav any bf..nope i sae cos we broke up few weeks ago..then she giv me tat shock look becos she sae i dun look sad at all and still smiling..aiya of cos lah..why should i show ppl tat i am sad..of cos i muz hide mah..hiding feelings seems ok for me but i am reali bad at holding my tears bac..so i always cry when necessary..
then todae seems like nothing leh..mon and thur always so shiok becos i finished lesson at 1+..then chee how was quite sad cos he got F for maths..tok he joking one cos he seems to me tat he veri pro one..then during gp lessons he was like telling me tat how arh i veri stress...then later i tell him not to be so stress lah..the more u make urself stress then the more u wont excel..so muz be pessimistic like me..muz always look at the bright side..duno why he always has to go see the xin li doctor to cure his anxiety..no wonder always see him so nervous..then during gp we verterans sitting together..then we three gers "steal" his money and bluff him tat we put into our bra..wa lao he reali stupid to believe wat we sae was true..then he still sae eh i dun wan the money tat ur kept inside there..i wan ur money..haha..anyway it was juz veri funny..both of us was like laughing like hell..anyway how muz go home liao to study for maths test tml..hope i can still continue to score A in my maths then i can no need take promos..
then on mon afternoon after sch, chatted with yi guang since we happened to saw each other by accident..then he asked me which cca i am in during sec sch..then i told him aiya u duno one..then realised tat he from SJI so confirm got mm as cca in his sch..he told me tat his sch mm team veri strong and is quite famous..ya quite true..past few yrs always see them getting quite gd..then he asked me why i dun wan to join bac mm..i told him not i dun wan is yj dun hav..tat time went to the office then saw the mm trophey in the display cardboard..they got 3rd and 4th during the 2nd and 3rd mm competition..wondered why they close down mm..hmm..then he said you still can join it as an external cca wat..aiya then i said dun bother lah..anyway nobody is there to teach me..seriously i miss playing mm now..last time dislike mm becos must see tat mr ling face and got the competition..so veri stress..but i still like the days which we hav competition becos tats the day we all get togther to do mouse and nothing else..then there will be lots of laughter esp if th and bc come to our sch..wa miss the time together..then if u can still do mouse with the guy u luv, then will be veri nice..but sad to say it wont happened again..like wat he used to help us whenever our mouse got problem..
then recently my gu gu called us and tell us tat my big gu gu went into woodbridge after kana caught by the police..think my dad like canot take it from wat i see from his face..hai~i dad seem sad..actually i reali curious how does woodbridge ppl like arh>?are they reali siao up there?maybe i can tag along if they wan to visit her..
then on tues, we were sitting beside chee how..then me and yan hui was like bickering in a funny way then later chee how was laughing..wa lao feel like a clown like tat providing ppl free entertainment..then duno how later ended up bullying him..realised tat he got this bad habit of drinking his "milk bottle" every 5 to 10 mins..then yan hui did tried to "steal" his "milk bottle" but our mission failed becos he realised is we all who did it..
then was sitting in audi behind john..then saw john feeding his gf with chocolate..then i was smiling behind his bac becos both of them veri sweet towards each other..then seeing wat they did onli make me recalled the past when we were eating tibits in the theatre..
then wed saw shank eating alone then i tell can tat ur xiao shuai ge so lonely..u go and pei him lah..then looking at the way can looks at him make me puke..gosh..wa lao got bf liao still so flirty..duno he is bf knows tat then wat will he do to her..then during maths lesson was practically laughing away becos he and justin was providing entertainment for us..yan hui was saying with him around indeed make our day..ya quite true becos we always bully him and yet he wont bully us bac except doing so stupid actions..hmm..seems like we reali got closer..
then after sch went to ajc to see their dry lab..wa lao there so many sophiscated equipment..the indians doctors were explaining to us how to use and tat but i dun understand a single thing tat she said..too chime liao..juz like first time th was teaching us mm..so now i knoe tat doing titration is so impt liao becos its needed if u wan to go into chem industry..but anyway the whole thing is so sian..then later went home with lina..she tok i lesbian sia becos i kept noticing gers from sn..eh got wrong meh looking at gers..i onli think tat small size look veri cute mah..then duno how later she ended up asking do i hav any bf..nope i sae cos we broke up few weeks ago..then she giv me tat shock look becos she sae i dun look sad at all and still smiling..aiya of cos lah..why should i show ppl tat i am sad..of cos i muz hide mah..hiding feelings seems ok for me but i am reali bad at holding my tears bac..so i always cry when necessary..
then todae seems like nothing leh..mon and thur always so shiok becos i finished lesson at 1+..then chee how was quite sad cos he got F for maths..tok he joking one cos he seems to me tat he veri pro one..then during gp lessons he was like telling me tat how arh i veri stress...then later i tell him not to be so stress lah..the more u make urself stress then the more u wont excel..so muz be pessimistic like me..muz always look at the bright side..duno why he always has to go see the xin li doctor to cure his anxiety..no wonder always see him so nervous..then during gp we verterans sitting together..then we three gers "steal" his money and bluff him tat we put into our bra..wa lao he reali stupid to believe wat we sae was true..then he still sae eh i dun wan the money tat ur kept inside there..i wan ur money..haha..anyway it was juz veri funny..both of us was like laughing like hell..anyway how muz go home liao to study for maths test tml..hope i can still continue to score A in my maths then i can no need take promos..
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
~reading the past messages from him~
was reading my inbox message from him..its says " I guess it's the simpleness in the way you approached our relationship lor. That's was when I felt that maybe I should>start>>giving love another chance.> It's actually quite easy to trust a person on the first time,>until> >the> person breaks your trust once. From then on it's going to be > hard to rebuild the trust and continue."
seriously when i read tat my heart was crying in pain..there is too much to take the blow already..even though sometimes i will be smiling at ppl but in my heart i am truely veri veri hurt..was reading how last time we used to talk happily to each other but now things are totally different..seriously i tok of deleting all the past messages tat he sent me b4 but i juz bu se de and i dun hav the courage to delete it..seriously reading all the past messages onli make me feel more sad...but i will still continue to read..becos..............................
seriously when i read tat my heart was crying in pain..there is too much to take the blow already..even though sometimes i will be smiling at ppl but in my heart i am truely veri veri hurt..was reading how last time we used to talk happily to each other but now things are totally different..seriously i tok of deleting all the past messages tat he sent me b4 but i juz bu se de and i dun hav the courage to delete it..seriously reading all the past messages onli make me feel more sad...but i will still continue to read..becos..............................
Monday, April 25, 2005
tears rolling down my cheeks....
hai~find myself so stupid..dun even know how to use a G clamp on the ruler to the stool..gosh i was panicking more when the teacher kept looking at my clumsyness..think my phy practical reali canot make it..i always cock up during physic pract..i am seriously lousy in doing practical..how arh??i so scared of the SPA test shich will be on the next weeks time..and it will be counted for the A levels practical exam..at least i am not tat scared for chem..becos i know what i am doing..during chem normally i finished veri fast becos i know wat to do but phy nor reali veri blur..they juz giv us a pict and we are expected to set up the whole thing...wa lao eh i reali blur..how how>>always muz ask ppl for help..then fri saw tat smiliy again..he is forever smiling one man..never seen him without a smile b4..
nowadays entre ppl saw me and said long time never see u in entre liao..u quit liao arh..yup i said..actually not i dun like entre..its juz tat duno what will i do after they leave..plus entre got lots of stuff to do..still muz do cafe duty and mop the floor all those stupid stuff..seriously i reali damn lazy to do house chores so i think this cca doesnt fit me..so i chose to leave..but the new cca doesnt seem to be as interesting as it is..hai~~but last few days saw ms ong, she did smiled at me and said hello..ok at least she is not angry woth me for leaving..so i need not hide from her anymore..was doing maths the whole day on sat...wa lao do until i siao man..so many qns..nowadays juz feel veri emotional..wa lao the guy in the show is so sweet to his wife, but yet they cant be together again becos his wife has let him down..hai~~think tat gd guys are hard to come by..actually thinking of gd guys make me think of "th and bc"..last time use to tok tat they not gd becos they look like ah beng..esp th..saw his pict in sec sch at ms sally sng desk when i was in sec..but later my impression of them hav changed after seeing the way they treat us and the way they treat their gf..and yan hui was also telling me tat the ultimate guy tat will be with u for life will not be a yan dao..normally its the character tat matter to the gers most in the end..ya i agree with her..most of the guys tat i like b4 are not yan dao..then my friends always say eee my taste is so bad..i remember this is what normally maril will say to me last time.. but as long as i like can liao wat..i shouldnt matter what ppl says to me..
was listening to F.I.R, twins, and sylvester songs..think tat they songs not bad..the twins look veri shio and cute to me..no wonder so many like them..then dad was sick now..hai~~feel veri kelian for him..sick liao still muz work to earn a living for us..then he still cough out abit blood..hai~~this is bad..hopefully he can get well soon..
was playing piano on sun evening..finally i understood wat my teacher told me in the past..she said "put in al your feelings into the piece..and i got it..i reali put all of my feelings into the song and tears started rolling down my cheeks unknowlingly.. i thought of the gd memories and the words tat he told me juz b4 we left each other and i pictured everything into the song..i still feel tat his words is juz like a knife stabbing into my heart and its veri hurting til now..still can rmb wat he said clearly in my mind..i can still rehearse everything bac..i dun know whether is he still reading my blog or not..whatever it is i should say watever i feels exactly..and not hiding the truth..and if u feels nothing abt it, the onli thing tat i can say is i like the wrong guy...
nowadays entre ppl saw me and said long time never see u in entre liao..u quit liao arh..yup i said..actually not i dun like entre..its juz tat duno what will i do after they leave..plus entre got lots of stuff to do..still muz do cafe duty and mop the floor all those stupid stuff..seriously i reali damn lazy to do house chores so i think this cca doesnt fit me..so i chose to leave..but the new cca doesnt seem to be as interesting as it is..hai~~but last few days saw ms ong, she did smiled at me and said hello..ok at least she is not angry woth me for leaving..so i need not hide from her anymore..was doing maths the whole day on sat...wa lao do until i siao man..so many qns..nowadays juz feel veri emotional..wa lao the guy in the show is so sweet to his wife, but yet they cant be together again becos his wife has let him down..hai~~think tat gd guys are hard to come by..actually thinking of gd guys make me think of "th and bc"..last time use to tok tat they not gd becos they look like ah beng..esp th..saw his pict in sec sch at ms sally sng desk when i was in sec..but later my impression of them hav changed after seeing the way they treat us and the way they treat their gf..and yan hui was also telling me tat the ultimate guy tat will be with u for life will not be a yan dao..normally its the character tat matter to the gers most in the end..ya i agree with her..most of the guys tat i like b4 are not yan dao..then my friends always say eee my taste is so bad..i remember this is what normally maril will say to me last time.. but as long as i like can liao wat..i shouldnt matter what ppl says to me..
was listening to F.I.R, twins, and sylvester songs..think tat they songs not bad..the twins look veri shio and cute to me..no wonder so many like them..then dad was sick now..hai~~feel veri kelian for him..sick liao still muz work to earn a living for us..then he still cough out abit blood..hai~~this is bad..hopefully he can get well soon..
was playing piano on sun evening..finally i understood wat my teacher told me in the past..she said "put in al your feelings into the piece..and i got it..i reali put all of my feelings into the song and tears started rolling down my cheeks unknowlingly.. i thought of the gd memories and the words tat he told me juz b4 we left each other and i pictured everything into the song..i still feel tat his words is juz like a knife stabbing into my heart and its veri hurting til now..still can rmb wat he said clearly in my mind..i can still rehearse everything bac..i dun know whether is he still reading my blog or not..whatever it is i should say watever i feels exactly..and not hiding the truth..and if u feels nothing abt it, the onli thing tat i can say is i like the wrong guy...
Friday, April 22, 2005
so how's is todae..
todae had pe for the first period..wa lao i feel like i am growing fat..aiyo think got abit tummy..this is bad sia..then ran 5 rounds the track todae..so tired now..but at the 4th round i started to walk again...the john saw me then said slacking sia..haha..maybe i popular to ppl tat i like to slack alot expecially pe..aiya..so hardworking in pe for wat..then todae hav maths lessons continuously for 2.5h..gosh can die sia..then maths test todae quite alright lah..but 3 marks out of 16 were gone..too chime liao..dun understand wat the qn asking..hai~~nowadays feel so sian man..dun hav him to pei me..its been 2 weeks liao haven seen him..this two weeks seem veri long to past..wondered wat is the time i will be able to see him again..or maybe i wont be able to see him again..hai~~normally when i wan to see the person the heaven always dun wan me to meet him even though we might be so near each other..wondered wat he is doing now..is he still ok???has he got over it liao??has his feeling for "min" died liao? i reali wish to know..but both of us juz treat each other as stranger whenever we see each other online..both of us juz dun wan to talk..hai~~if i know tat then i rather be friens in the first place then rather be an enemy..like tat veri sad..hai~~never mind..
then was looking at bc friendster page..his primary photo so gay leh..look like ger like tat..then was looking at his gf pict..eh doesnt look alike like her leh when i saw her last time..she look so different..last time she look quite chio leh..maybe she isnt as photogenic as other ppl ba..kay should be going off at 3 for phy pract liao..sian man..
then was looking at bc friendster page..his primary photo so gay leh..look like ger like tat..then was looking at his gf pict..eh doesnt look alike like her leh when i saw her last time..she look so different..last time she look quite chio leh..maybe she isnt as photogenic as other ppl ba..kay should be going off at 3 for phy pract liao..sian man..
Thursday, April 21, 2005
yvonne cheng craps
1) brand of ur handphone?~PaNaSoNiC GD882) wat'll u do if u see ur bf hugging a gal?~...Walk Over & Say 'Hi! New GF? Gd Taste..' & DeN LeAn OvEr & WhsPh3r 2 (2 Bf) - U've BeeN DuMpEd'3) hav a bf?~ Yup..4) hav ur own room?~ Ya..5) fav pet ?~ No peTs Now.. But HoPe 2 gEt an Old EngLiSh ShE3pDoG eVenTuaLLy..6) 1 thing u cant live w/o?~ My TeDdY..MuSiC.. LoVeD OnEs..7) where do u live?~ TaMaN JuRoNg8) wat wud u do if sumone tells u he/shelikes u?~ Huh?! Toda3 ApriL's Fool Day mehZ?!9) how are you feelin n0w?~ SianZ..Why Desperate Housewives haven't start?!10) where do you hangout?~ HoMe.. ToWn.. FoRt CaNnIng..11) what are you good at?~ BiTcHiNg.. TaLkInG CrAp.. HyPinG TinGs Up..12) what is it bout a person you cantstand?~ I HaTe PERVERTS! XiA Lan PpL.. 13) what do you want?~ NoT b3 PoStEd 2 NUH LiAoZ..14) a word that describes you?~ BiTcHy/ LoUd 15) what is ur dream?~ BeComE a DiReCtOr Of NuRsInG/ LaWyEr 1 day16) day/nite?~ NiTeZ..17) sunset/sunrise?~ SuNsEt18) like a romantic bf/gf?~ NoT 2 BoRiNg & NoT 2 RoMaNtIc..19) what is it about the opposite gendertat attracts u?~ CaN cLiCk, ChArAcTeR..20) are you an independent person?~ Ya..BuT I haTe BeiNg aLoNe..21) do you like school?~ SoMeTiMeS..22) are you stubborn?~ I tiNk sO..CuZ TaRuarians all lydat rite? ...23) believe in God?~ MosT DeFiNaTeLy! 24) ur favourite sport?~ SuN TaNnInG (sports?) , SHOPPING! (sports?)25) believe in fate?~ NoT ReaLi.. 26) get pissed off easily?~ HaHaZ.. AsK AnYoNe..27) like ur parents?~ LuV d3m!29) believe in love?~ I gUeSs So..30) will u get a tattoo?~ I'm ConSiDeRinG..31) smoke?~ UsEd to..33) wil u forgive ur bf/gf if he cheats on u?~ DePeNds.. 34) will u expect ur bf/gf to forgive u?~ No Nid 2 ExPeCt.. He will.. 35) were u on a trip recently?~ NoPe.. BuT hOpE cAn Go..36) fave country?~ KoReA.. NeW ZeALaNd.. JaPaN37) r u impatient?~ Not ReaLi..39) do u organise parties often?~ Hmm.. Small ones yes.. big ones NO..40)do u hav good friends?~ Ya.. QuiTe a FeW..41) do u think u r good-looking?~ AvErAgE Ba..42) do u care about looks?~ MiniMium Care.. 43) do you think that you're a good gf ?~ HaHaZ.. NOPE! 45) do you quarrel with people easily?~ DePenDs.. If I dun ly u..Den ya..46) are you forgiving?~ Yes.. Forgive but Not FORGET..47) do you get hurt easily?~ ErM.. No la..48) do you prefer gurls wit long hair?~ ShoRt.. Den I'll appEar more FeMiNine..49) do u prefer guys wid long/short hair?~ Depends on wat suits him..50) is ur hair colored?~ yup.. but fading..51) are you a romantic?~ Sometimes.. 52) do you wear a watch??~ sometimes.. (JuStIn's..)53) what color clothes do you like?~ Black.. Black.. BLack..54) will you chose love or money?~ BOth.. but Cant survive on either 1 onli..55) do you prefer sleep or eat?~ sLeEp..56) white or black?~ bLaCk..57) pink or red?~ Baby Pink..58) fav flower?~ bLu3 TuLiP.. bLaCk/bLu3 RoSeS.. FoRgeT m3 NoT.. cAt TaiL..
~the past 3 days~
On mon, can was looking at chee how when we were eating and she was saying tat he is a cute guy..i think he ok to me lah..is becos of his blur tat made him cute..then during physics tutorial, gave her the chance to sit beside him but she shy..aiya..if not got show to see then can kar jiao them also..
kay after tat talked with wee ping, then she asked me now am i doing now lah..i told her still the same still cant get over him..hai~then she said to me tat if u can reali forget him in such a short time then i will be the one mei liang xin..then i was telling her abt the heart VS logic thingy..and she said tat what he says is true lah..she said tat actually he is a nice guy and gentleman and far sighted guy..at least he sent them home b4 sending me home after the chalet last yr..should i sae tat is tat a compliment for him??ya should be lah..ya thinking og wat she says i think tat he is quite a nice guy lah..actually i should be glad tat i have a nice ex being my first bf..and the canot make it me juz didnt appreciate tat until she mentioned something and analyse things with me..ok maybe i juz take things for granted till the day we broke up..maybe i should change my way of treating ppl if not i regret again..sometimes i wanted to sae the "magic words" to him..but given the situation now..looks like its not possible liao..then yesterday we the retainees club (verterians) as usual zhuo bo in gp again..started chatting as usual..can said her impression of me is tat most ah beng will ask for my no..huh??i tok i look veri guai one..where will ah beng like this type of gers one..i know i talk like ah lian..most ppl do tell me tat b4 even th..but i hav been talking like tat since young..cant change my way of talking already..probably becos my mum talked dialect to me so i juz talk like a rough person..and i realised tat recently tat she always reply me in dialect when i asked her something..oh this is bad..
then chee how borrowed my comp from me..after tat he finishes he uses his both hands to tap my shoulders..at tat time i was feeling uncomfortable..then he says thx ah..aiya if u wan to thx me then dun touch my shoulder..i veri sensitive towards guys plus my sunburn still haven recovered yet..still feel so painful..unless u are my bf otherwise i dun like becos i am a ger..ger and guys and not supposed to have close contact..ok am i a weird ger??hmm..maybe..
then see the innova jc couple almost practically on the treain everyday..see them so sweet also envy of them..wish i could like them..ok i dreaming again..but hor they abit too er xin liao lah becos they are doing something improperate on the train..me and tanu saw them on the train and we look at each other smiling away..u know somethings are meant not to be said..
then yesterday during gp bully chee how,,wa lao he damn nice to bully sia..actually think tat he is the guy tat i speak to for now..probably becos we are "verterians"..haha learnt a new word..most of the time i am not close to guys at all..i onli sae hi and bye to them..so cant reali make gd friens out of it..i am more close to gers..actually hor i should go to gers sch then can make more friends over there..
yesterday nite was looking at my baby photos..eee..i look so ugly..bo tah some more..aiyo my brother so cute!!! but duno why now so ugly..so kana sai..then was doing gp eassy yesterday bit til 12.30 am..wa lao was having lots of difficulty,,nobody free to teach me personally to write eassy..i think until i head crack also cant think of any points to agrue..wa lao i reali sian man..then i ask teacher how to write then he never ans my qns..wa lao leh how u expect me to write when i never ans my qns..i reali veri unlucky leh..got u as my teacher..slacker teacher..
todae i am so tired..feel so sleepy..almost fall asleep during phy tutorial..then tml got maths test..thankfully its maths test..maths dun reali need to learn a lot..but next week got so many tests..hai~~got maths, chem..hai!!!!
ok now muz do hw liao.. later go home muz study for tml test..
kay after tat talked with wee ping, then she asked me now am i doing now lah..i told her still the same still cant get over him..hai~then she said to me tat if u can reali forget him in such a short time then i will be the one mei liang xin..then i was telling her abt the heart VS logic thingy..and she said tat what he says is true lah..she said tat actually he is a nice guy and gentleman and far sighted guy..at least he sent them home b4 sending me home after the chalet last yr..should i sae tat is tat a compliment for him??ya should be lah..ya thinking og wat she says i think tat he is quite a nice guy lah..actually i should be glad tat i have a nice ex being my first bf..and the canot make it me juz didnt appreciate tat until she mentioned something and analyse things with me..ok maybe i juz take things for granted till the day we broke up..maybe i should change my way of treating ppl if not i regret again..sometimes i wanted to sae the "magic words" to him..but given the situation now..looks like its not possible liao..then yesterday we the retainees club (verterians) as usual zhuo bo in gp again..started chatting as usual..can said her impression of me is tat most ah beng will ask for my no..huh??i tok i look veri guai one..where will ah beng like this type of gers one..i know i talk like ah lian..most ppl do tell me tat b4 even th..but i hav been talking like tat since young..cant change my way of talking already..probably becos my mum talked dialect to me so i juz talk like a rough person..and i realised tat recently tat she always reply me in dialect when i asked her something..oh this is bad..
then chee how borrowed my comp from me..after tat he finishes he uses his both hands to tap my shoulders..at tat time i was feeling uncomfortable..then he says thx ah..aiya if u wan to thx me then dun touch my shoulder..i veri sensitive towards guys plus my sunburn still haven recovered yet..still feel so painful..unless u are my bf otherwise i dun like becos i am a ger..ger and guys and not supposed to have close contact..ok am i a weird ger??hmm..maybe..
then see the innova jc couple almost practically on the treain everyday..see them so sweet also envy of them..wish i could like them..ok i dreaming again..but hor they abit too er xin liao lah becos they are doing something improperate on the train..me and tanu saw them on the train and we look at each other smiling away..u know somethings are meant not to be said..
then yesterday during gp bully chee how,,wa lao he damn nice to bully sia..actually think tat he is the guy tat i speak to for now..probably becos we are "verterians"..haha learnt a new word..most of the time i am not close to guys at all..i onli sae hi and bye to them..so cant reali make gd friens out of it..i am more close to gers..actually hor i should go to gers sch then can make more friends over there..
yesterday nite was looking at my baby photos..eee..i look so ugly..bo tah some more..aiyo my brother so cute!!! but duno why now so ugly..so kana sai..then was doing gp eassy yesterday bit til 12.30 am..wa lao was having lots of difficulty,,nobody free to teach me personally to write eassy..i think until i head crack also cant think of any points to agrue..wa lao i reali sian man..then i ask teacher how to write then he never ans my qns..wa lao leh how u expect me to write when i never ans my qns..i reali veri unlucky leh..got u as my teacher..slacker teacher..
todae i am so tired..feel so sleepy..almost fall asleep during phy tutorial..then tml got maths test..thankfully its maths test..maths dun reali need to learn a lot..but next week got so many tests..hai~~got maths, chem..hai!!!!
ok now muz do hw liao.. later go home muz study for tml test..
difference btween love and like
In front of the person you like, your heart> beats faster n goes crazy~> But in front of the person you love, you get> happy.> In front of the person you love, winter seems> like spring.> But in front of the person you like, winter is> just beautiful winter.> If you look into the eyes of the one you like,> you blush.> But if you look into the eyes of the one you> love, you smile.> In front of the person you like, you can't say> everything on your mind.> But in front of the person you love, you can.> In front of the person you like, you tend to get> shy.> But in front of the person you love, you can> show your own self.> You can't look straight into the eyes of the> one you like.> But you can always smile and stare into the> eyes of the one you love.> When the one you like is crying, you end> up comforting.> But when the one you love is crying, you cry> with them.> The feeling of like starts from the ear.> But the feeling of love starts from the eye.> So if you stop liking a person you used to> like, all you need to do is cover your ears.> But if you try to close your eyes, love turns> into a drop of tear and remains in your heart> forever In front of the person you like, your heart > beats faster n goes crazy~ > But in front of the person you love, you get > happy. > In front of the person you love, winter seems > like spring. > But in front of the person you like, winter is > just beautiful winter. > If you look into the eyes of the one you like, > you blush. > But if you look into the eyes of the one you > love, you smile. > In front of the person you like, you can't say > everything on your mind. > But in front of the person you love, you can. > In front of the person you like, you tend to get > shy. > But in front of the person you love, you can > show your own self. > You can't look straight into the eyes of the > one you like. > But you can always smile and stare into the > eyes of the one you love. > When the one you like is crying, you end > up comforting. > But when the one you love is crying, you cry > with them. > The feeling of like starts from the ear. > But the feeling of love starts from the eye. > So if you stop liking a person you used to > like, all you need to do is cover your ears. > But if you try to close your eyes, love turns > into a drop of tear and remains in your heart > forever " name=replybody>
Monday, April 18, 2005
~oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!~~
A hug leads to a kiss... A kiss leads to a lick...A lick leads to a suck... And a suck leads to aF***.So tell me how many people you want to hug afteryou hear this cuz sex is like math... you add thebed... subtract the clothes... divide the legs...leave your solution... and pray you don't multiply!Send right after you read this something good willhappen at 2:25 tommorrow. Get READY for thebiggest shock in your life!!!Whoever breaks this chain letter will be cursedwith relationship problems for the next ten years. Ifyou sent this in 15 minutes your safe. SomethingGOOD will happen to you tonight at 11:11 pm.This is not a joke...!!!!! someone will either call you
TEARDROP IS BEAUTIFULTwo little teardrops were floating down the river of life. One drop said to the other, "I am the teardrop of a girl who loved a man & lost him. "Who are you?"Well, I am the teardrop of the girl who won him." replied the other.Love is very strange. Love is unconditional commitment to an imperfect individual. You need it but when you love, it's like destining yourself for pain. You become addicted & dependent on the person. You become strong & at the same time, you open yourself up to being hurt. Love can make you bear any kind of pain & any kind of sacrifice. It can also make you feel stupid & act stupidly. Sometimes when you love & end up giving so much of yourself, subconciously you only discover how much you've given when the person you love hurts you or has to say goodbye. Then you realize, an important part of yourself is already with that person. It goes away when he leaves & you are left with a sickening, empty feeling inside. Tears are bound to shed from your eyes, no matter how you force yourself to keep them in. Well, that's what you get for caring so much about someone. But how can you regret it? To give yourself freely & lovingly is the most beautiful thing you can do. Most teardrops ever shed on this earth have been for love or lack of it. When tears dry, a silent loss sticks to your heart for a long, long time. Loving makes you real. Loving also makes you cry. And that is why a teardrop is also BEAUTIFUL.Because it is real & it comes from within your heart & your emotionsCherish yesterdayDream tomorrowLive today
TEARDROP IS BEAUTIFULTwo little teardrops were floating down the river of life. One drop said to the other, "I am the teardrop of a girl who loved a man & lost him. "Who are you?"Well, I am the teardrop of the girl who won him." replied the other.Love is very strange. Love is unconditional commitment to an imperfect individual. You need it but when you love, it's like destining yourself for pain. You become addicted & dependent on the person. You become strong & at the same time, you open yourself up to being hurt. Love can make you bear any kind of pain & any kind of sacrifice. It can also make you feel stupid & act stupidly. Sometimes when you love & end up giving so much of yourself, subconciously you only discover how much you've given when the person you love hurts you or has to say goodbye. Then you realize, an important part of yourself is already with that person. It goes away when he leaves & you are left with a sickening, empty feeling inside. Tears are bound to shed from your eyes, no matter how you force yourself to keep them in. Well, that's what you get for caring so much about someone. But how can you regret it? To give yourself freely & lovingly is the most beautiful thing you can do. Most teardrops ever shed on this earth have been for love or lack of it. When tears dry, a silent loss sticks to your heart for a long, long time. Loving makes you real. Loving also makes you cry. And that is why a teardrop is also BEAUTIFUL.Because it is real & it comes from within your heart & your emotionsCherish yesterdayDream tomorrowLive today
~i finally know wat is it liao..~
i finally understood wat they are trying to sae in my birthday card..no wonder they keep asking me to smile..so there is a real reason behind this..oh i see..i manage to know this after i thought of it for days..seems like the news spread reali fast..i am amazed at the rate tat words are spreading from mouth to mouth in abt 2 weeks abt me..last time they knew something abt me also in such a short time without me telling them..wa tats fast..seriously i dun rmb telling anybody abt wat happened except for my close friens..so who isit tat leak out>>no wonder they never mentioned any thing in front of me..so i know why..mum was like saying see lah ur face like "sai" like tat even ur friens ask u to smile..then i sae maybe its becos they think my smile veri nice mah..so they ask me to smile more mah..but seriously practically everybody wrote tat in my card..why ah??they reali like my smile tat much meh??hmm..
wa lao then this few days my body start to feel so itchy and red..gosh i canot tahan..then my mum saw it and was scolding me sae see lah..u got a fair skin u dun wan..go and tan until ur bac so ugly..then i was pissed lah..wa lao..is my body or ur body..wat i like to do to my body is none of ur business wat..and she juz keep scolding and i shall juz pretend tat she is talking to the wall..
project work results quite ok lah..got A2..seriously i dun reali feel happy leh..duno why maybe its becos most of the ppl got A2 ba..but my mum was veri happy tat i got tat..she couldnt believe tat..but i sae most of the ppl got A2..so is not a big deal..looks like my luck is changing now..its getting better now..at least i see a future now..but like last yr i dun even know where i am heading and everything seems so unclear to me...seriously i got thought of being a singer..haha..but i not chio at all..so maybe cant be a singer liao..wa lao if let ppl hears this sure will let ppl laugh..this yr wont be tat stress everymore..i dun hav chinese and project to do anymore..if has to do project also becos i hav to do it as a gp..chee hao veri kelian didnt do tat well plus he failed his chinese..so muz retake again..
then on fri evening, i saw jing yi together with ying mei and xiang ling..strange??how did they know each other..maybe the world is so small ba..i got to know tat jabs and him are in the same class in qwss..but now he seems to be taller than me liao..last time during mm competition see him like shorter than me..seems like his basketball did help him quite a bit..
then was playing the piano last sat evening..was playing a song by the name of "from the bottom of my broken heart"..this is the first time i looked at the lyrics for english songs..find tat ir reali depicts wat i am feeling now..hai~duno why i kept thinking of the past..the most memeorable time was during tat nite at th house..tat day everybody had their own partner and i felt like i am a veri fortunate and xing fu ger.., but tat was the past already..maybe i should stop dreaming of things tat wouldnt happen again..seriously i juz hate myself tat if last time i never gone into a relationship then i wouldnt be wat i am now..maybe tat time i never thought of the consequences..hai~~but i dun wan to be a shameless ger who kept thinking of him since everything is over..i juz duno why cant i juz get over him..i have tried to keep myself busy so tat i wouldnt think of anything..but tat method juz couldnt work on me..then wat should i do now??i am totally lost in a big jungle now where no one else can help me except myself..letting go isnt easy at all..seriously i wondered how did ppl with lots of relationship be manage to forget everything??dun they feel anything at all like hurt or sad??or they are juz used to it already..hai~~so how should i continue to dream hoping for a miracle or should i juz ignored everything??hai~~isit tat difficult to give up a guy??last time waited for a guy for 2 yrs and yet there is no miracle..but later i giv up liao..and i became a nun for 2.5 yrs..then later this guy came and he started to become part of my life liao...then the story continues..
wa lao then this few days my body start to feel so itchy and red..gosh i canot tahan..then my mum saw it and was scolding me sae see lah..u got a fair skin u dun wan..go and tan until ur bac so ugly..then i was pissed lah..wa lao..is my body or ur body..wat i like to do to my body is none of ur business wat..and she juz keep scolding and i shall juz pretend tat she is talking to the wall..
project work results quite ok lah..got A2..seriously i dun reali feel happy leh..duno why maybe its becos most of the ppl got A2 ba..but my mum was veri happy tat i got tat..she couldnt believe tat..but i sae most of the ppl got A2..so is not a big deal..looks like my luck is changing now..its getting better now..at least i see a future now..but like last yr i dun even know where i am heading and everything seems so unclear to me...seriously i got thought of being a singer..haha..but i not chio at all..so maybe cant be a singer liao..wa lao if let ppl hears this sure will let ppl laugh..this yr wont be tat stress everymore..i dun hav chinese and project to do anymore..if has to do project also becos i hav to do it as a gp..chee hao veri kelian didnt do tat well plus he failed his chinese..so muz retake again..
then on fri evening, i saw jing yi together with ying mei and xiang ling..strange??how did they know each other..maybe the world is so small ba..i got to know tat jabs and him are in the same class in qwss..but now he seems to be taller than me liao..last time during mm competition see him like shorter than me..seems like his basketball did help him quite a bit..
then was playing the piano last sat evening..was playing a song by the name of "from the bottom of my broken heart"..this is the first time i looked at the lyrics for english songs..find tat ir reali depicts wat i am feeling now..hai~duno why i kept thinking of the past..the most memeorable time was during tat nite at th house..tat day everybody had their own partner and i felt like i am a veri fortunate and xing fu ger.., but tat was the past already..maybe i should stop dreaming of things tat wouldnt happen again..seriously i juz hate myself tat if last time i never gone into a relationship then i wouldnt be wat i am now..maybe tat time i never thought of the consequences..hai~~but i dun wan to be a shameless ger who kept thinking of him since everything is over..i juz duno why cant i juz get over him..i have tried to keep myself busy so tat i wouldnt think of anything..but tat method juz couldnt work on me..then wat should i do now??i am totally lost in a big jungle now where no one else can help me except myself..letting go isnt easy at all..seriously i wondered how did ppl with lots of relationship be manage to forget everything??dun they feel anything at all like hurt or sad??or they are juz used to it already..hai~~so how should i continue to dream hoping for a miracle or should i juz ignored everything??hai~~isit tat difficult to give up a guy??last time waited for a guy for 2 yrs and yet there is no miracle..but later i giv up liao..and i became a nun for 2.5 yrs..then later this guy came and he started to become part of my life liao...then the story continues..
~having gp again~sian man..~
juz now was having pe..wa lao the teacher asked we all to run 5 rounds..then i run 4 rounds then i "eat snake" for the last round..then the teacher caught me and denise walking..so had to run other 2 rounds..wa lao i black listed by teacher liao for "eating snake" during pe..but not my choice wat..i reali leg pain liao still wan me to run..wa lao pei seh sia..last week the teacher sae me for walking and not runnung..todae the teacher sae me again..aiyo..i reali leave a bad impression for teacher liao..now..gp lesson is juz slacking away..tat mr heng doing pw again..seriously retainees has nothing to now..sian..
nowadays life is so sian..and i realised tat looking at friendster is veri in now..like looking at how our friend gf or bf look like...wether they chio or not..or they yan dao or not..and 114 is now looking at friendster..guys are saying wa this ger veri chio leh..then finally saw tat allosius after so many weeks..he added me in friendster and he sae he is in yjc..yan hui keep saying she saw him but i juz canot get to see him..maybe we are not fated to see each other..until yesterday..i finally saw him..but i pretend i didnt see him..eee..so ah beng..i close down liao..not my type..but yan hui sae he did smile to me when he saw me...maybe i am juz dao ger..now i realised tat why certain ppl hav so many friens in friendster..its becos they anyhow add ppl...oh i see.....................
nowadays life is so sian..and i realised tat looking at friendster is veri in now..like looking at how our friend gf or bf look like...wether they chio or not..or they yan dao or not..and 114 is now looking at friendster..guys are saying wa this ger veri chio leh..then finally saw tat allosius after so many weeks..he added me in friendster and he sae he is in yjc..yan hui keep saying she saw him but i juz canot get to see him..maybe we are not fated to see each other..until yesterday..i finally saw him..but i pretend i didnt see him..eee..so ah beng..i close down liao..not my type..but yan hui sae he did smile to me when he saw me...maybe i am juz dao ger..now i realised tat why certain ppl hav so many friens in friendster..its becos they anyhow add ppl...oh i see.....................
Friday, April 15, 2005
my birthday~
yesterday celebrated my birthday with a cake..quite nice and sweet of them lah..and becos of me they onli got 10 mins to eat dinner which their lessons start at 7 tp 9pm..then khay wai, jeff, and chiew yan also wish me..wonder how chiew yan knows tat when she is not my close frien at all..we still got take some pict..maybe after anu sent me liao then i put it on friendster..seriously i knew tat my wish wont come true as wat i expected..hai~~never mind..god always wan to torture me wat..hai~~then mum gave me $8 juz for the birthday present..wa lao so little..
then todae juz now the sch juz accounced tat for the pw results 87.5% got A1 and A2..hai~i scared i am the minority and i reali scared tat i will be crying again..how how??i am super scared now..i still got half and hour to wait more..
then todae juz now the sch juz accounced tat for the pw results 87.5% got A1 and A2..hai~i scared i am the minority and i reali scared tat i will be crying again..how how??i am super scared now..i still got half and hour to wait more..
Thursday, April 14, 2005
aik bin friendster message
Every Gals R born Different....Some's up to your taste, some's not.& outofmillioNs of Gals, there's bound to be theRight Onejuz for you.Do you know?Gals= cute, sweet, faithful, determined,caring andhas a beautiful side which no one elseother denher Prince can see.Gals= When they cry, it would means tattheirheart is really bleeding and tat you havehurt hertoo deeply.Gals=They smile the sweetest when youmadethem really happy...Gals= They are really beautiful...even ifthey're notfacially perfect, they're beautiful in theinside...Lastly................Girls........could really love a guy for who theyare.............They could learn to forgive & forget theirguy'smistakes..............That's just how noble they are................But guys don seems to understand.........That's just their surface...................Being strong is juz their surface...............They need you around to be there forthem..........That's why they would miss you badlywhen you'renot there.............Love might not be important for theguys...........But it's everything to a gal.............The taste of love is the same taste asChocolates.....It's sweet and bitter...........All they wants is a perfect sweet endingin theirrelationship.........Don hurt them...........Gals are fragile.......Love your loved ones with true love........Not pityness.............SMS an " I Love You" to your gf..........She'll be surprised and happy............Only then could you be able to see.........Her sweetest smile........The most beautiful side of her...........Feel the love and care she showered onyou.......Until this, you'll find Love.........
==>GALS...Find a guy who calls you beautifulinstead of hot,who calls you back when you hang up onhim,who will stay awake just to watch yousleep.Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,who wants to show you off to the worldwhen you are in your sweats,who holds your hand in front of his friends,who thinks you're just as pretty withoutmakeupon.Wait for the one who is constantlyreminding youof how much he cares about youand how lucky he is to have you.Wait for the one who turns to his friendsandsays, "...that's her."GUYS...Find a girl who calls you baby facedinstead of hotor sexiwho can't stand it when you hang up onher andcalls right back,who would sit there for hours looking intoyoureyes,who doesn't care what you look like, butwhat'sinside counts the most,Who looks at you with the twinkle in hereyes andkisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,Wants to be with you in public, even ifyou wearthose old grass stained and ripped pantswith thebleached jersey like always,Wait for the girl who is a constantreminder of yourhappiness and joy, who makes you smilesjust byknowing she loves you back.Wait for the girl who you give piggy backrides to inpublic and she still is in view of herfriends, whileshe gets off and you hear her go: "you'rethe onefor me, for always"
==>GALS...Find a guy who calls you beautifulinstead of hot,who calls you back when you hang up onhim,who will stay awake just to watch yousleep.Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,who wants to show you off to the worldwhen you are in your sweats,who holds your hand in front of his friends,who thinks you're just as pretty withoutmakeupon.Wait for the one who is constantlyreminding youof how much he cares about youand how lucky he is to have you.Wait for the one who turns to his friendsandsays, "...that's her."GUYS...Find a girl who calls you baby facedinstead of hotor sexiwho can't stand it when you hang up onher andcalls right back,who would sit there for hours looking intoyoureyes,who doesn't care what you look like, butwhat'sinside counts the most,Who looks at you with the twinkle in hereyes andkisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,Wants to be with you in public, even ifyou wearthose old grass stained and ripped pantswith thebleached jersey like always,Wait for the girl who is a constantreminder of yourhappiness and joy, who makes you smilesjust byknowing she loves you back.Wait for the girl who you give piggy backrides to inpublic and she still is in view of herfriends, whileshe gets off and you hear her go: "you'rethe onefor me, for always"
~114 outing to sentosa on 13.4.05~
yesterday was having our class outing at sentosa early in the morning..when we hav to assemble at harberfront at 8.50 pm but i ended reaching there late becos i waited for can and yan hui to arrive..then later i changed in to a tank shirt tat yan hui lent me cos my house dun hav sleevless shirt wat..after i wear it, it looks quite ok but can see my bar strip sia..then can and yan hui keep saying can see my bar strip and keep helping me to adjust in front of the guys..wa lao so pei seh man and i think they saw it..later i heck care liao cos anyway they also see liao..aiya wan to see then see loh..anyway all gers wear tat wat..then at harberfront mac there we saw xu qi the actress with her "bf"..she doent look chio to me with out her make up..she looks so pale..eee..ugly lah..then ms ang treat us eat hashbrown then we talk lah..exactly this is outing is quite nice and fun..at least we get to interact..after tat we took a bus to sentosa there..wa lao waited for so long to go in duno why..then while waiting we took pict together..got yan hui with me and chee how and me and can and me..aiyo taking pict with can seems like i look veri big size leh..so i never take alot with her..then we took a pict with tian yu..then he stand beside me..then they sae we veri far apart..so bo bian muz stand close..aiyo feel so weird muz stand so close..then he ask do u mind i put my arms around ur shoulder ..then i sae no lah..huh do i hav the look tat ppl cant touch me meh?or maybe i am veri sensitive towards guys..haha maybe..
then the fort siloso so sian one..all on history..then the beach quite ok lah..tanned abit..but my body got super tanned tat it is so painful now..ouch...then still got the mark of the tank shirt..aiyo so ugly..face onli abut tanned onli..hai~~wanted to tanned my face ended up my body got more tanned...never mind at least i not so xiao bai lian liao..haha..then i saw quite a number of bikini gers but a few hunks..then i was looking at this particular group of cacausions..wa lao their tat one so big sia..then they so pro man no need go toilet can get changed..wa lao they juz change their clothes in front of us including their under garments..haha..i wa looking until my eyes wan to drop out..was quite amazed tat they super skilled ah..no wonder they so open lah..now i know why..i see..then after tat when to je since it is still early..then they give out free milk..chey i was thinking why they so gd..no wonder it is going to expire in 3 days..anyway its free..so i juz take lah..so auntie so kiasu took so many..
then todae and yesterday quite a no of ppl wish me happy birthday..but i slept at 9 liao..so tired yesterday..woke up at 1 something to pee then later check the msg..hehe..then can ask me to msg chee how..but so late liao..so cant be bothered liao..so continue to sleep after i do my small business..then todae morning quite a number of ppl wish my happy birthday..aiyo feel so weird man..then johnson told yan hui tat todae is my birthday..but now he know ah??and he tell yan hui not to tell me tat he know tat it is my birthday then yan hui leak out everything..then he sang me a birthday song..aiyo pei seh lah..ppl looking man..then after tat can and yan hui asked him tat he like me ah becos they feel like he like me..aiya they wan to make fun of me..idiot lah..then johnson sae ya loh..i like u leh..u like me??haha..then i sae sorry i dun like u..but all these joking one lah..if they make fun of me and johnson again..then i kill them..wa lao like tat i veri pei seh one leh..i can also sae i like chee how jokingly wat but tat doent mean tat i like him wat..so if they dun kar jiao me then i veri happy liao..then we were talking abt chee how todae..can and me think tat chee how can be a nice bf becos he damn gd and nice to bully..but yan hui sae he canot make it becos he too blur liao..then i sae blur then gd wat then he will listen to u watever u sae..then can ask me to jio him since he so rich..oh pls he rich is not my busines..i like ppl is not becos they rich loh..u like u go jio him lah..why ask me man..duno why she everytime wan to jio guy muz see if they rich or not..wa lao like tat veri bad leh..at times i juz think tat she is not as simple as wat i used to think..she is a crafty ger..even aik bin saes so..hai~~then todae she cry..see her so kelian then comfort her..seriously i duno how to comfort ppl and i veri scared ppl cry one..i am juz a woodblock duno anything..but later she ok liao..so i also not so stressed liao.. never mind..then i am now waiting for 6pm to pass..so sian..duno wat they up to also...haha..is there choclate cake to eat??seriously i duno leh..i am juz guessing from wat wee ping wat hinting to me..
ok then at least he is not tat mei liang xin never wish me happy birthday..if not he reali mei liang xin seh..duno why i still thnk tat he is trying to avoid me leh??am i rite>>my six sense veri accurate one..confirm correct one..aiya i sae already i wont hate u one..so no need to avoid me..i wont bear grudges with ppl one..i veri gd and kind one lah..seriously i am reali hurt when i know tat u are avoiding me..but never mind i believe tat one day u will talk to me again when u ok liao..rite?
then the fort siloso so sian one..all on history..then the beach quite ok lah..tanned abit..but my body got super tanned tat it is so painful now..ouch...then still got the mark of the tank shirt..aiyo so ugly..face onli abut tanned onli..hai~~wanted to tanned my face ended up my body got more tanned...never mind at least i not so xiao bai lian liao..haha..then i saw quite a number of bikini gers but a few hunks..then i was looking at this particular group of cacausions..wa lao their tat one so big sia..then they so pro man no need go toilet can get changed..wa lao they juz change their clothes in front of us including their under garments..haha..i wa looking until my eyes wan to drop out..was quite amazed tat they super skilled ah..no wonder they so open lah..now i know why..i see..then after tat when to je since it is still early..then they give out free milk..chey i was thinking why they so gd..no wonder it is going to expire in 3 days..anyway its free..so i juz take lah..so auntie so kiasu took so many..
then todae and yesterday quite a no of ppl wish me happy birthday..but i slept at 9 liao..so tired yesterday..woke up at 1 something to pee then later check the msg..hehe..then can ask me to msg chee how..but so late liao..so cant be bothered liao..so continue to sleep after i do my small business..then todae morning quite a number of ppl wish my happy birthday..aiyo feel so weird man..then johnson told yan hui tat todae is my birthday..but now he know ah??and he tell yan hui not to tell me tat he know tat it is my birthday then yan hui leak out everything..then he sang me a birthday song..aiyo pei seh lah..ppl looking man..then after tat can and yan hui asked him tat he like me ah becos they feel like he like me..aiya they wan to make fun of me..idiot lah..then johnson sae ya loh..i like u leh..u like me??haha..then i sae sorry i dun like u..but all these joking one lah..if they make fun of me and johnson again..then i kill them..wa lao like tat i veri pei seh one leh..i can also sae i like chee how jokingly wat but tat doent mean tat i like him wat..so if they dun kar jiao me then i veri happy liao..then we were talking abt chee how todae..can and me think tat chee how can be a nice bf becos he damn gd and nice to bully..but yan hui sae he canot make it becos he too blur liao..then i sae blur then gd wat then he will listen to u watever u sae..then can ask me to jio him since he so rich..oh pls he rich is not my busines..i like ppl is not becos they rich loh..u like u go jio him lah..why ask me man..duno why she everytime wan to jio guy muz see if they rich or not..wa lao like tat veri bad leh..at times i juz think tat she is not as simple as wat i used to think..she is a crafty ger..even aik bin saes so..hai~~then todae she cry..see her so kelian then comfort her..seriously i duno how to comfort ppl and i veri scared ppl cry one..i am juz a woodblock duno anything..but later she ok liao..so i also not so stressed liao.. never mind..then i am now waiting for 6pm to pass..so sian..duno wat they up to also...haha..is there choclate cake to eat??seriously i duno leh..i am juz guessing from wat wee ping wat hinting to me..
ok then at least he is not tat mei liang xin never wish me happy birthday..if not he reali mei liang xin seh..duno why i still thnk tat he is trying to avoid me leh??am i rite>>my six sense veri accurate one..confirm correct one..aiya i sae already i wont hate u one..so no need to avoid me..i wont bear grudges with ppl one..i veri gd and kind one lah..seriously i am reali hurt when i know tat u are avoiding me..but never mind i believe tat one day u will talk to me again when u ok liao..rite?
eyes tired liao~
wa lao i hav been sitting in front of the comp for 3h liao and i cant find anything much on tsunami..this is so irritating..seriously most of them talk in such a chime language tat when i see the website juz cancel it cos i duno wat they talking..and hor..why muz i do the project work again juz becos i retained..this is unfair loh..i retained because i wan to improve more on my compo and compre..and wat the hell, the teacher is juz doing project work everyday..we haven even started teaching compo..wa lao like tat i sure die one..wa lao i reali wan to complain to teacher..like tat wat the retainees do man..this is unfair loh..and tat mr heng..why i so sway one..always kana him..hai~~he is my first 3 months teacher and now i muz see him again permantly..sucks lah..
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
a message to me~
Love the girl in your heart, not in yourmind. If you base your relationship on feelings, itwill fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girlsare there to be loved, not toyed around.Love her for who she is. Don't even think aboutchanging any bit about her. 6 billion people in thisworld & 6 billion different personalities. She'sspecial & she will stay that way. You change anypart of her, you'll change her forever. Don'tsubstitute her for anyone else, they are just uniquein their own ways.Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for youso you'd better really treassure her. She couldhave just got up & date a so much more dashingguy in town but she chose you instead all becauseof love. So love her guys, not play with her.Don'tjust get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. Ifyou're with her, love her.Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll endup loving each other out of pity or charity, that'snot respecting love at all. Respect love the way itis & everything will be the best it can be. I've beenthere & I know how it feels.Don't expect perfection from her. She's the onlyone in the world & she's done the best she could.Like another girl while you're in a relationship?Then I think it's time you remain single for a while.Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's themost tragic thing to do.Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If youwant her to tell you everything, do the same.Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling",how would it feel if your girl calls other guys thesame way? Be faithful, enough is enough.Socialise only when you're single. You socialise &flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get itover when she's already yours, don't ask for more.It never kills to be romantic. Think, beflexible.Getting that diamond ring isn't the only giftfor her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives lifejust like you. Something sweet & simple alwaysget the job done.Money doesn't exist between couples, it's thelove.Never promise her that you'll love her foreverbecause your forever might end the next day.Loveher as if each day is the last.Sweet talking only applies for singles, not forattached guys. Do that & you'll really break yourgirl's heart.It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give herasense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.Promise her & make sure you never break thepromise. Swear to her & make sure you live up toyour word. Pledge your love to her & her alone.Loving her is giving her your heart to break it buttrusting her not to. Same goes for her,giving u herheart means allowing u to break it and trusting unot to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.Should'nt you do the same thing as well? That'slove.Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Laydown your life & prepare to die for her when theneed arises. But stay strong & live throughanother day, she can never live without you.Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cryher heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'ddie.Its her heart that you've broken, how would youever know how she feels?Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don'tleave her once you've won her love. Love her alltheway till the end of time, love her till marriage, loveher till old age, love her till death. If you can loveher till the end of time, you've earned the honor &respect for you've truly loved her.She chose you because she believes that you canfulfil your promise. Win her heart back & love herall over again.
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aRe yOU iN fOr lOoKs oR tRuE lOvE?
Question:Does looks really matters much when it comes to love......?This is based on a true story... If you like it,re-post it..Perhaps you will find the love you have been waiting for all this time..sHe was not pretty..But she had feelings..One day, she felt in love with a guy..A guy she really had a crush on..But she realized that she was not pretty..So she kept it deep inside her heart..sHe was not pretty..Knowing this, she still approached the guy she admired..Upon approaching him, she asked his name and asked for his number..They came into contact with each other..The lady was so happy and she felt nice talking to the guy..sHe was not pretty..sHe had to remember this all the time..sHe knew she couldnt say out her wish to the guy..However, one day, she took up the strength to call the guy..When she was about to pick up the reciever, the phone rang..It was him..Her crush...Her guy of her dreams..he asked her out on that night..There was no reason for her to say NO..That night, they went to a restaurant..for dinner..sHe was not pretty..This was proven to her at that night..When the guy told her that he had a crush on another lady.her heart was crushed into pieces by her own crush..but she didnt say a word..sHe knew it..sHe was not pretty~!...sHe was not pretty..and she knew she wont get her guy of her dream..So she intended to help the guy out..sHe took the guy to the lady whom he had a crush on..After a week, she saw the guy dating with the lady..sHe knew that there is no more hope for her..sHe was not pretty..and this made her loose her love..sHe just kept her feelings deep inside her heart..But it was okay for her..as her love was happy with the lady he loved..sHe was not pretty..but maybe her powerful love brought her guy back to her..One day, the guy came all the way crying to her..he said to her that he lost the girl,the girl play timer and dumped him..he was all in tears and didnt know where to go..sHe was not pretty..but she loved him..sHe wiped the tears off the guy and gave a warm hug..The guy felt the warm feel gush through his nerves and touch his heart deep inside..he realized that this is his true love..sHe was not pretty..but she found her love finally..and she was happy ...p/s: looks are not really the most important thing in love..Consider the feelings of the pple around you..You might just find that true love of yours..sHe may not be pretty..but she might love you more than anyone could ever love you!
~i am surting net during gp~
hai..gp is so bo liao..they are doing pw and now i am zhuo boing..seriously i am reali bored tml..will there will ppl to pei me after 1pm?hai~~todae is adrain birthday..haha didnt know tat until i saw the list..anyway going to wish him later after this lesson..hai~yesterday had a terrible fight with my mum..i reali can tahan liao until i cry..i shall update more when i hav the time..actually i juz said whatever i feel abt them after so many yrs of toterance..i am considered veri patient liao towards them..then yesterday even thought of leaving home cos i reali feel like living at home is a hell to me..sometimes i even think tat i wan to end my life here..wat the point of living in such a misery..cant they juz be more understanding...i am also a human being and i hav my feelings..sometimes its juz tat i dun show out to ppl..sometimes i juz need a listening ear but seem like no one would be interested to hear..hai~ =(
~reading on and on..~
i was reading someone else blog and i realised he reali veri veri stupid..no wonder he cant jio bac her..dun even wan to call or talk to her when u wan to jio her bac..aiyo..no wonder ppl dun wan u lah..not i wan to suan u but u reali too stupid liao..waiting can solve anything..but i think the ger quite cute leh..her blogs got so many cartoons..hehe..maybe can copy her blog skins..bad ger ah..
Monday, April 11, 2005
~some touching scene~
wee ping called to talk to me asking me am i ok..ya i told her..i can talk and laugh like wat in the past..not a problem now..she juz kept reminding tat i muz reali pass my gp no matter wat..if not next yr i would be kick out of the sch liao..reali think she is a nice frien even though she keep repeating herself tat i muz pass gp..seriously i need ppl to teach and coach me personally then i will learn..or else i reali cant be bothered with it..serisously she is better than yan hui..i wont deny tat now me and yan hui quite close, but at times i still dun reali like the way she talk..i still prefer tp stay with my ex 106 classmates..at least they are better and more caring towards ppl..our class spirit is wan to die then die together..still can rmb the timkes clearly during the times we do pw..
then tanu called me to ask me wat time is my break on thur and wee ping asked me wat time will i end sch tat day..then i know wat they up to liao..its so obvious..ask them wat they are trying to do but nobody wans to tell me..how can??not fair sia..tanu..last yr, i told u scretly wat they do and this yr u dun wan tell me..and weird thing is tat i muz wait for them til 5pm..duno wat they are up to also..am i thinking wat they are thinking>>haha..ok i shall act blur..then on fri nite when i went home, mum keep saying tat see lah now tat i retained must waste their money on my education..and they would hav to yang me one more yr..u think i wan to retained meh??do i feel happy when i retained??then yesterday i was so pissed off tat i sae out watever i like and sae them bac..then mum saes who ask u everytime keep quiet and dun wan communicate with us..we duno wat u are thinking abt..tok u sleeping wat..so muz keep scolding u..ok loh then later she called me guai sian girl girl u muz listen to me in future..then i was still angry with her and sae shut up lah..and my idiot brother kept laughing at me for wat i sae..then he sae "wa wa so daring ah??tat time feel like smacking him..idiot..actually i think tat mum is a person tat can be reasoned out also after talking to her yesterday, but seriously i reali feel fed up talking to me..eg is my ho spoil liao and she dun believe me..damn..now is reali big spoil liao..now the hp cant even type put a proper msg..sometimes a bit retarded..and nowadays i like to scold "ma de"..duno why..this is spoiling my guai image..i muz reali keep my bad habit of scolding this bad word already..then i still feel tat my phy is still so lousy..i still muz ask my brother how to do..i think reali got great difference between yj and nj students..but wat to do??i am slow in learning in nature wat..cant help it..oh ya then fast few days i think tat can jealous of me when shank wave to me and sae hi..then she sae why he never wave to her and instead to me..then i was thinking, too bad loh..ppl like me more than u ..cant help it..then can tahan is tat she sae she like tat toilet cleaner and she wans his hp no..i was thinking tat wa lao she so despo wan..ya true tat the cleaner was quite yan dao but u no need like tat one rite??then she still got sae wed we wear bikini togther leh with yan hui..then i sae i dun hav..then i sae u lend me then maybe i can consider..then she sae different size leh..then i ask her urs one like the same size as mine leh..then she sae reali got tat small meh??then i sae ya..i think i hurt her pride..but who cares..i am stating the truth wat..juz too bad..i am a straight forward person..i juz sae watever i like..
thinking of tat i got a wish from last yr and i waited for so long til this yr..but looks like it can be fufiled anymore..and i think tat my tat wish reali looks like it is drifting further and further away from me..hai~~
i was reading my testimonial on sat nite which they wrote to me during i was in jj..realised tat i am known to others as a shy, quiet and sweet girl..then one of the FIT trainer wai long wrote to me saying "sweet girl muz go tanned a bit..too fair liao..ya thinking of tat i am going to do tat on wed..then khai and mi xue testi quite entertaining also..mi xue sae she likes my complexion..huh? my complexion reali gt so nice meh>?then still got another FIT trainer, cant rmb wats is his name, then i used to look at him scretly cos i think he yan dao..thinking of tat i think tat all my actions are veri stupid and foolish..then still got tjo, jeff frien..he is my ogl and jeff used to smile at me whenever he walk past me and my heart was beating so fast..gosh~~then apple also, used to admire his cos he quite cute plus he boy boy and shy shy type..and he always blush..haha..then my og group knew tat i like him always like to kar jiao me..and there is this malay guy cant rmb wats is his name also asked for my hp no..but i didnt give even though he quite look looking..no wonder when i was listening to lectures he keep looking and turning bac..but i didnt know tat..tok he looking at other ppl so i didnt bother..but later i found out tat he is a flirt and after tat he became attached in such as short time..at least i see the true side of him..so luckily i wasnt friens with him and i dun wish to be frien with this kind of ppl also..counting tat i think tat i like quite a no of jj guys..haha but yj like none even though this yr the j1 quite gd looking..but they are still younger than me ah..maybe i still prefer liking guys tat are older than me..duno why ah??maybe tat is juz me..and maybe becos liking an older guy will make me more secure..
then tanu called me to ask me wat time is my break on thur and wee ping asked me wat time will i end sch tat day..then i know wat they up to liao..its so obvious..ask them wat they are trying to do but nobody wans to tell me..how can??not fair sia..tanu..last yr, i told u scretly wat they do and this yr u dun wan tell me..and weird thing is tat i muz wait for them til 5pm..duno wat they are up to also..am i thinking wat they are thinking>>haha..ok i shall act blur..then on fri nite when i went home, mum keep saying tat see lah now tat i retained must waste their money on my education..and they would hav to yang me one more yr..u think i wan to retained meh??do i feel happy when i retained??then yesterday i was so pissed off tat i sae out watever i like and sae them bac..then mum saes who ask u everytime keep quiet and dun wan communicate with us..we duno wat u are thinking abt..tok u sleeping wat..so muz keep scolding u..ok loh then later she called me guai sian girl girl u muz listen to me in future..then i was still angry with her and sae shut up lah..and my idiot brother kept laughing at me for wat i sae..then he sae "wa wa so daring ah??tat time feel like smacking him..idiot..actually i think tat mum is a person tat can be reasoned out also after talking to her yesterday, but seriously i reali feel fed up talking to me..eg is my ho spoil liao and she dun believe me..damn..now is reali big spoil liao..now the hp cant even type put a proper msg..sometimes a bit retarded..and nowadays i like to scold "ma de"..duno why..this is spoiling my guai image..i muz reali keep my bad habit of scolding this bad word already..then i still feel tat my phy is still so lousy..i still muz ask my brother how to do..i think reali got great difference between yj and nj students..but wat to do??i am slow in learning in nature wat..cant help it..oh ya then fast few days i think tat can jealous of me when shank wave to me and sae hi..then she sae why he never wave to her and instead to me..then i was thinking, too bad loh..ppl like me more than u ..cant help it..then can tahan is tat she sae she like tat toilet cleaner and she wans his hp no..i was thinking tat wa lao she so despo wan..ya true tat the cleaner was quite yan dao but u no need like tat one rite??then she still got sae wed we wear bikini togther leh with yan hui..then i sae i dun hav..then i sae u lend me then maybe i can consider..then she sae different size leh..then i ask her urs one like the same size as mine leh..then she sae reali got tat small meh??then i sae ya..i think i hurt her pride..but who cares..i am stating the truth wat..juz too bad..i am a straight forward person..i juz sae watever i like..
thinking of tat i got a wish from last yr and i waited for so long til this yr..but looks like it can be fufiled anymore..and i think tat my tat wish reali looks like it is drifting further and further away from me..hai~~
i was reading my testimonial on sat nite which they wrote to me during i was in jj..realised tat i am known to others as a shy, quiet and sweet girl..then one of the FIT trainer wai long wrote to me saying "sweet girl muz go tanned a bit..too fair liao..ya thinking of tat i am going to do tat on wed..then khai and mi xue testi quite entertaining also..mi xue sae she likes my complexion..huh? my complexion reali gt so nice meh>?then still got another FIT trainer, cant rmb wats is his name, then i used to look at him scretly cos i think he yan dao..thinking of tat i think tat all my actions are veri stupid and foolish..then still got tjo, jeff frien..he is my ogl and jeff used to smile at me whenever he walk past me and my heart was beating so fast..gosh~~then apple also, used to admire his cos he quite cute plus he boy boy and shy shy type..and he always blush..haha..then my og group knew tat i like him always like to kar jiao me..and there is this malay guy cant rmb wats is his name also asked for my hp no..but i didnt give even though he quite look looking..no wonder when i was listening to lectures he keep looking and turning bac..but i didnt know tat..tok he looking at other ppl so i didnt bother..but later i found out tat he is a flirt and after tat he became attached in such as short time..at least i see the true side of him..so luckily i wasnt friens with him and i dun wish to be frien with this kind of ppl also..counting tat i think tat i like quite a no of jj guys..haha but yj like none even though this yr the j1 quite gd looking..but they are still younger than me ah..maybe i still prefer liking guys tat are older than me..duno why ah??maybe tat is juz me..and maybe becos liking an older guy will make me more secure..
Friday, April 08, 2005
~reali reali tired!!~
yesterday wanted to msg him to wish him gd luck for his exam but i hav no courage to do so after thinking for so long..so i decided not to do so liao..ok maybe i am bad..i was thinking yesterday tat since i na de qi jiu yao fang de xia..so i be reali trying my best to do so..but cant be tat fast in healing..
actually thinking of it, i dun mind being dump if everything is my fault lah..in life, its either u get dump by ppl or ppl dump u..the world is always so cruel..but tats is life..seriously i dun hate him becos no point ppl find it tiring to stay with me and yet hold ppl bac..this will only make things worst..i always believe tat i dun need a guy to survive..if they are yours, they will be always be urs, if they are not meant to be urs, then juz let it go..no point gripping tightly..i am feeling better as days goes by..but no duno why whenever i juz go home, i would juz quarrel with ppl esp my mum..maybe its juz tat my mood isnt gd..has reflected these 3 days on the fact tat i am dumped..wee ping did told me once tat if u know tat a guy is going to dump u , then juz dump him first..becos gers pride is veri impt..tats why gers should never get dump...but i chose to let him dump me becos all the problems arises becos of me..maybe letting ppl dump me will make me feel better..and not i dump ppl when ppl didnt even do anything wrong..even though the impact of being dump is hurting, butmuz learn to recover..wee ping also said b4 tat "dun be foolish lah, since u know tat he is going to break up with u then juz breakup with him first..u scared u dun hav ppl to woo u isit given ur critieria"..aiya, i juz think tat she dun understand afterall becos she as never gone into a relationship..after all he is my first bf, cant sae so easily tat if u wan to let go then can let go..it will still take abit of time afterall he is a guy tat i truly love..
todae was the first time talking to justine after so many months..realised tat he reali look like bc..the way he talk also so shy and pei seh..seriously i like his features man..how i wish i got his features then i sure gd looking liao..aiya i am juz craping..and reali tired..hai~~life still hav to go on.. =(
actually thinking of it, i dun mind being dump if everything is my fault lah..in life, its either u get dump by ppl or ppl dump u..the world is always so cruel..but tats is life..seriously i dun hate him becos no point ppl find it tiring to stay with me and yet hold ppl bac..this will only make things worst..i always believe tat i dun need a guy to survive..if they are yours, they will be always be urs, if they are not meant to be urs, then juz let it go..no point gripping tightly..i am feeling better as days goes by..but no duno why whenever i juz go home, i would juz quarrel with ppl esp my mum..maybe its juz tat my mood isnt gd..has reflected these 3 days on the fact tat i am dumped..wee ping did told me once tat if u know tat a guy is going to dump u , then juz dump him first..becos gers pride is veri impt..tats why gers should never get dump...but i chose to let him dump me becos all the problems arises becos of me..maybe letting ppl dump me will make me feel better..and not i dump ppl when ppl didnt even do anything wrong..even though the impact of being dump is hurting, butmuz learn to recover..wee ping also said b4 tat "dun be foolish lah, since u know tat he is going to break up with u then juz breakup with him first..u scared u dun hav ppl to woo u isit given ur critieria"..aiya, i juz think tat she dun understand afterall becos she as never gone into a relationship..after all he is my first bf, cant sae so easily tat if u wan to let go then can let go..it will still take abit of time afterall he is a guy tat i truly love..
todae was the first time talking to justine after so many months..realised tat he reali look like bc..the way he talk also so shy and pei seh..seriously i like his features man..how i wish i got his features then i sure gd looking liao..aiya i am juz craping..and reali tired..hai~~life still hav to go on.. =(
Thursday, April 07, 2005
~i am reali tired liao~
i was listening to jay chou song and started crying..duno know why normally i used to like the song so much tat i enjoy it but yesterday i juz feel veri sad..i know tat wee ping quite concerned abt it now..was quite touched..yan hui also asked me wat happened to me as my eyes were swollen..she knew tat i cried alot..and she experienced tat b4..i am tired of crying already..first time i cried so much for days..eyes were super pain and hot..having headache and slight fever for the last 2 days but nobody knows tat..not even my mum..cant even sleep well..keep waking up between intervals..mum keep asking me why i cry everyday, but i ignored her..i know she quite gd lah..but seriously i am juz too tired to talk..hopefully i can recover veri soon..yan hui took 1 months to be ok, as for me i reali duno..it reali hurts a lot..maybe this is a learning experience for me ba..falling in luv is easy but letting it go is difficult..i reali want a holiday from everything..i am too tired and stress to do anything now..i am totally dead now..juz like a dying person..all i know is cry juz like someone close to u has left..juz like my grandma tat time..even though i onli talk to her once..but when she died i reali cried for a nite even though she wasnt veri close to me..then mum keep scolding me yesterday..veri soon, i will go crazy..i canot take it already..lectures cant reali absorbed well..my level of absorbant has decreased alot ever since tat day..i know i cant be like tat any more, but my brain juz dun wan to listen to me..whenever i am alone or not occupied or busy, i juz start imagine things..then i would start crying scretly, not letting ppl know tat i cry..seriously, i am more sad than tat time i retained..i tok 1 day to recover becos i did look on the bright side..but why cant look on the bright side this time???why??why??crying out doesnt solve anything and my broken heart..so wat should i do??i reali wan to get over it but i reali seems veri veri difficult..
am i such am unlucky person tat gd things always leave me??whoever with me will me unlucky..secondary sch did so badly for the O levels and i was so sad and i juz couldnt accept the fact tat i hav to go yjc and my friends were able to go jjc..tat was my first breakdown..second breakdown was last yr..i was retained and i juz canot bear to leave my friends .., some more failed my piano exam, wasted my father hard earned money..also i went for the scope as i was continously sickbecos of my stomach..this yr, i am experencing BGR and stress problem from all over the place...maybe god juz wanted to torture me becos i always scolded god for bluffing ppl..maybe this is my retribution..=(
yesterday, at least mr smiliy did make me smile at tat point of time..i wasnt so sad tat time..juz know tat his smiling reali make me smile and cheer up..
then next wed(13/4/05), our class will go fort siloso for class outing in the morning..after which we hav to go bac sch for cca..but tat day mr wong cancelled the meeting so i will be left alone again..yan hui they all will be going bac sch..hai~~i reali feel like sitting at the beach looking at the waves and sit at one part of the beach to console myself and at least i might feel better..i wish tat reali someone can accompany me, be it a ger or guy..i wish i could reali stay there til late evening b4 i go home..but i dun think anybody will be free..j2 ppl will be at sch studying, the rest has to go bac sch..my only wish tat there is this person who can sit with me juz doing nothing..all he or she needs to do is juz to keep silent and accomapany me..if like tat i will be veri contented already..this is my only 18th birthday wish for now..although it sound stupid, but reali i hope tat my wish can reali be fufiled..
i hav never celebrated my birthday b4 except when i was young tat time..hopelfully this yr i get to celebrate..thinking of tat, i am nearing 20s liao..hai~time flys reali fast..last yr i didnt celebrate my birthday,..all i can remeber clearly tat on 14/4/04 i went down to great world city to see the mm competition since i didnt help my juniors tat time..so i went there after sch to see them..tat day, maril, yi hui and wan yi recalled my birthday and i was so touched..so last yr tat was how i spent tat day..seriously i had fun going there cos is like i long time never see them already..still remeber bobby was quite surprised tat i came alone..cos he didnt know tat i was in different sch with them..he did talk to me but i feel veri awarward..maybe he is my so called "ou xiang" in the past..
hai~~then todae i almost feel like crying again and i controlled my tears..reali feel veri terrible..wonder how my friens get over it..and duno why i juz start crying out when i am writing my blog..i cant cry forever..then todae i juz get to know tat miss lim is my physics teacher..i am glad tat i hav her..i was thought by her last yr but i didnt cherish her..i didnt do my tutorials..all i did was to copy wat she wrote..i reali regret liao..then after sch me and yan hui find her after sch cos we hav questions to ask her..seriously i think i veri stupid..she explained so many times b4 i understood..maybe i am juz slow in learning..hai~~then when i was teaching me tat time, she suddenly said tat the word 'nuah" and made me recalled of him..which is his favourite word..hai~~
i am reali veri tired now..how how??wat am i supposed to do now..nobody can help me onli i can help myself now..i reali wan to smile again..but i juz cant smile like wat i did in the past..all i know tat my smile has been a fake one..i smile juz becos i dun wan to look glum..
then tat tanu was talking to rasiyah abt my birthday plan in the morning when we go sch togther..and i overheard wat they are talking..then tanu still dare to gei siao sae nothing..still dare to sae todae the sun veri bright..seriously i am reali touched lah..yan hui so quite gd to me also..she was consoleing me and cheering me up..i appreaciate tat..but i juz cant cheer up even after wat she saes..but i did smile for wat she does to show my appreciation for her..i shoulnt let her feel tat she has done nothing for me..
am i such am unlucky person tat gd things always leave me??whoever with me will me unlucky..secondary sch did so badly for the O levels and i was so sad and i juz couldnt accept the fact tat i hav to go yjc and my friends were able to go jjc..tat was my first breakdown..second breakdown was last yr..i was retained and i juz canot bear to leave my friends .., some more failed my piano exam, wasted my father hard earned money..also i went for the scope as i was continously sickbecos of my stomach..this yr, i am experencing BGR and stress problem from all over the place...maybe god juz wanted to torture me becos i always scolded god for bluffing ppl..maybe this is my retribution..=(
yesterday, at least mr smiliy did make me smile at tat point of time..i wasnt so sad tat time..juz know tat his smiling reali make me smile and cheer up..
then next wed(13/4/05), our class will go fort siloso for class outing in the morning..after which we hav to go bac sch for cca..but tat day mr wong cancelled the meeting so i will be left alone again..yan hui they all will be going bac sch..hai~~i reali feel like sitting at the beach looking at the waves and sit at one part of the beach to console myself and at least i might feel better..i wish tat reali someone can accompany me, be it a ger or guy..i wish i could reali stay there til late evening b4 i go home..but i dun think anybody will be free..j2 ppl will be at sch studying, the rest has to go bac sch..my only wish tat there is this person who can sit with me juz doing nothing..all he or she needs to do is juz to keep silent and accomapany me..if like tat i will be veri contented already..this is my only 18th birthday wish for now..although it sound stupid, but reali i hope tat my wish can reali be fufiled..
i hav never celebrated my birthday b4 except when i was young tat time..hopelfully this yr i get to celebrate..thinking of tat, i am nearing 20s liao..hai~time flys reali fast..last yr i didnt celebrate my birthday,..all i can remeber clearly tat on 14/4/04 i went down to great world city to see the mm competition since i didnt help my juniors tat time..so i went there after sch to see them..tat day, maril, yi hui and wan yi recalled my birthday and i was so touched..so last yr tat was how i spent tat day..seriously i had fun going there cos is like i long time never see them already..still remeber bobby was quite surprised tat i came alone..cos he didnt know tat i was in different sch with them..he did talk to me but i feel veri awarward..maybe he is my so called "ou xiang" in the past..
hai~~then todae i almost feel like crying again and i controlled my tears..reali feel veri terrible..wonder how my friens get over it..and duno why i juz start crying out when i am writing my blog..i cant cry forever..then todae i juz get to know tat miss lim is my physics teacher..i am glad tat i hav her..i was thought by her last yr but i didnt cherish her..i didnt do my tutorials..all i did was to copy wat she wrote..i reali regret liao..then after sch me and yan hui find her after sch cos we hav questions to ask her..seriously i think i veri stupid..she explained so many times b4 i understood..maybe i am juz slow in learning..hai~~then when i was teaching me tat time, she suddenly said tat the word 'nuah" and made me recalled of him..which is his favourite word..hai~~
i am reali veri tired now..how how??wat am i supposed to do now..nobody can help me onli i can help myself now..i reali wan to smile again..but i juz cant smile like wat i did in the past..all i know tat my smile has been a fake one..i smile juz becos i dun wan to look glum..
then tat tanu was talking to rasiyah abt my birthday plan in the morning when we go sch togther..and i overheard wat they are talking..then tanu still dare to gei siao sae nothing..still dare to sae todae the sun veri bright..seriously i am reali touched lah..yan hui so quite gd to me also..she was consoleing me and cheering me up..i appreaciate tat..but i juz cant cheer up even after wat she saes..but i did smile for wat she does to show my appreciation for her..i shoulnt let her feel tat she has done nothing for me..
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
seriously damn sad plus shocked.
todae wee ping sae rasiyah rmb tat my birthday is juz next week..and they hav prepared something for me..surprising tat she is not my close frien and yet she rmb my birthday..tats is yet touching i muz sae..morever they and now in j2 liao..super busy..anyway this should be a surprise for me but wee ping let the cat out the bag liao..but will i be reali smiling and be happy tat day??i duno..reali..i am juz too sad to sae anything now..
Sunday, April 03, 2005
a moment of thought~
on fri when i went to jp,one the city bella woman keep draging me to take photo..she keep saying tat its free and its veri nice..then i kindly rejected cos i dun wan..they ask me to take photo sure got some favour in return, cant be so gd..then i saw after they take the pict, they developed the pict to display to let ppl see on the board..sia lah..if i take the whole world will know my face liao..anyway its juz stupid or they think i too chio liao..haha..no lah..maybe they think i got an attractive face..haha..
then sat went out to study..initally wanted to go sentosa the beach to go there to tan abit..but who knows that morning rain..sian lah..spoil my plan..ended up studying in mac at imm..他那天对我很冷。当时我很想哭可是我忍了。有时我还经常为他流泪。有时我在想这样值得吗？我知道那天他对我不高兴。but wat to do rite??sometimes feel so vexed tat why other parents allow their child to go out freely as they wish..but why cant i..i am not a 3 yr old kid liao..i got brain to think wat is wrong and right..duno wat age can i got my freedom..sian lah..staying at home is such a torture..rather dun wan to go home..most of the time..stay out late in sch..and my rule is never reach home b4 5pm.. and wat can i do??they dun wan to give me freedom, i cant do anything..when he mention to me abt the freedom thing, i juz feel so irritated..juz dun feel like talking abt it and i will feel stress..seriously when i reply him, i was using a harsh tone..ok i admit tat was my fault..mentioning abt tat will only make me recalled the deal tat he made..making me scared tat wat decision will he make in the end..hopefully i dun get to hear something tat i dun wan to hear, but if tats happen, i also nothing to do but to accept the fact..
ok enough of my crap liao..ok now muz sae some proper stuff..seriously i am reali scared tat this yr will i be able to promote??i am reali scared..how how??wat if i cant pass my gp again??then how??then my chem and phy cant pass then how??nobody hass know the exact reason why i retained..onli the my close friens then reali knows wat happens..i even lied to yi jie mum the real reason tat i retained..seriously i wan a new start..hopefully this yr i will get an A,B,C in my promo..then i will not be letting myself down..and i retained is not for nothing..mission is to go uni hopefully..i dun wan go to study music, dun wan to be forced by my parents..i wan to do something tat i like..maybe fashion or maths..wan me to be a doctor also canot lah..my results so lousy and my gp so bad..dun think i can go medicine..maybe my brother got the chance..hopefully he can enter nus..
then sat i was exercising halfway then i heart suddenly feel so painful again..duno wats wrong..rightfully tat should not happen..this is the second time in the yr liao...maybe something is wrong with me..we shall see..
then sat went out to study..initally wanted to go sentosa the beach to go there to tan abit..but who knows that morning rain..sian lah..spoil my plan..ended up studying in mac at imm..他那天对我很冷。当时我很想哭可是我忍了。有时我还经常为他流泪。有时我在想这样值得吗？我知道那天他对我不高兴。but wat to do rite??sometimes feel so vexed tat why other parents allow their child to go out freely as they wish..but why cant i..i am not a 3 yr old kid liao..i got brain to think wat is wrong and right..duno wat age can i got my freedom..sian lah..staying at home is such a torture..rather dun wan to go home..most of the time..stay out late in sch..and my rule is never reach home b4 5pm.. and wat can i do??they dun wan to give me freedom, i cant do anything..when he mention to me abt the freedom thing, i juz feel so irritated..juz dun feel like talking abt it and i will feel stress..seriously when i reply him, i was using a harsh tone..ok i admit tat was my fault..mentioning abt tat will only make me recalled the deal tat he made..making me scared tat wat decision will he make in the end..hopefully i dun get to hear something tat i dun wan to hear, but if tats happen, i also nothing to do but to accept the fact..
ok enough of my crap liao..ok now muz sae some proper stuff..seriously i am reali scared tat this yr will i be able to promote??i am reali scared..how how??wat if i cant pass my gp again??then how??then my chem and phy cant pass then how??nobody hass know the exact reason why i retained..onli the my close friens then reali knows wat happens..i even lied to yi jie mum the real reason tat i retained..seriously i wan a new start..hopefully this yr i will get an A,B,C in my promo..then i will not be letting myself down..and i retained is not for nothing..mission is to go uni hopefully..i dun wan go to study music, dun wan to be forced by my parents..i wan to do something tat i like..maybe fashion or maths..wan me to be a doctor also canot lah..my results so lousy and my gp so bad..dun think i can go medicine..maybe my brother got the chance..hopefully he can enter nus..
then sat i was exercising halfway then i heart suddenly feel so painful again..duno wats wrong..rightfully tat should not happen..this is the second time in the yr liao...maybe something is wrong with me..we shall see..
Friday, April 01, 2005
hopeless me!
yesterday when i was in the bus, a guy suddenly called me qin min..then i was sitiing..cant see who he was cos never wear spect..i was wondering who he is..dun rmb i got see him or know him b4 leh.then after he alight, he wave at me to sae gd bye lah..but still i cant recall who he is?then when i was walking home from my bus stop to my door step, then i suddenlt recall tat he is guo xian...aiya if i know is him earlier than should hav ask him how is mm doing..maybe i tink fhs mm closed down liao..hai~but seriously he changed a lot in his appearance, grown thinner, which is a gd thing..duno how he did for his O also..hai~sian today is so sian~~muz go for maths lesson liao..
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