~eye candy

die man, i think i got a little crush for this particular eye candy..duno why nowadays always get to see this guy when in the past seldom get to see him..hehe..and i always feel happy whenever i see him..duno why also..hmm..just pondering if is he attached?i am just curious to know..
tues went to ikea and queenway since we had to bought a bag for her..seriously, ikea has nothing much..i still thought ikea is a veri nice place to shop but ended up there is nothing much except the hot dog tat is nice..yup, and the food on the sec level seems ex to me too cos i am on budget for the class outing and need to buy present for ppl..so this week, i veri kelian, didnt eat for the past consecutive 3 days during break and tat's not the usual me who is always craving for food..
queenway is also the first time going there..practically all the shops over there sell the same thing (sport wear stuff).esp shoes and bags..gd thing over there is tat we can bargain for price..saw a nike and another bag tat looks veri ncie and its a limited edition and a converse jacket, but price wise is just too ex le..yup, onli got the chance to see, but no money to own it..but if got ppl buy for me during birthday, then i will be super happy seh..hmm..just too bad my birthday is over..eventutally bought a small bag for her, but one bad thing is tat she cant carry it to sch cos its too small, but still its veri nice cos tat bad reali caught my attention..
everyday i am spending lots of time on maths and hardly got time for other subjects and yes i am sick of it le..just by doing the tutorials alone, take up lots of time..seriously i am quite worried for my other subjects, esp chem cos i think tat subject CMI..going online and watching tv is my onli form of entertainment for now..and studying is reali boring..feel like graduating faster then i can enjoy life..
online friends can hardly be trusted except for one who is spm ex student 3 yrs bac..he gave me the feeling tat he is a nice person cos he still ask me to study hard and dun end up like him..but he still manage to go btu eventutally..but yup, sometimes feelings can be wrong..others tat i came to know abt are matinly ITE students..most of the time they willa sk u for your msn or either ur hp no so tat they can chat with u..but mostly, i bluff them saying tat i dun have even though its obvious tat i am lying cos i just dun wan to give them and neither do i want to be tat close to them..many at times i just want to test out wat kind of person is he is..duno why many times ITE give me the feeling tat all they know is to jio pretty gers and nothing else cos i ofthen overheard them saying tat they want to jio pretty gers or either they want to make friends with them..not tat i condemn them but i just dun like the way they behave..esp guys with mouthful of vulgarities..
wed is an unlucky day..on my way home, met up with 2 bad guys..sitting under the void deck, not under my house..yup, one of the guy call me "xiao jie" and i turned around cos nobody around so must be me..i still thought tat they call me for some reason becos maybe i might have drop something..later i reaslied tat they just want to disturb me..they sae praises tat will make gers veri happy once they hear it but so sorry i bu chi zhe tao..and i just ignored them..intially wanted to run but later i thought if i run then it would seems tat i am a coward and it would seems tat i am scared of them..so i just calm down and walk faster..seriously dun understand why such ppl like to kar jiao gers when they can spend their time more effectively..i just think these ppl are bo liao and i just dun like this kind of ppl..
just got bac my report slip for term 2..my results slip is super colourful..had a range of grades from B To F..yup, but mostly the results are AO and F..seriously dun dare to show her cos i know she will confirm scold..die man, like tat how to take A level..
last nite was stoning halfway when i was doing my work..somehow duno why mind wonder off to him..finally i can rmb the past le..and i managed to recall the smile on his face and the angry look tat he have whenever he is angry..in the past when i tried recalling, i couldnt remeber anything on his face..duno why tat day suddenly memory came bac..maybe everything could have changed in him after so long..perhaps his outdated hairstyle could have changed or maybe he might be looking older now..i could still rmb tat i am veri bad, always like to call ppl "uncle" when he dun like it..many at time i just want to kar jiao him..hmm..when will fate ever appear again to let us meet up one day or maybe happen to bump into each other by coincidence..alll these seems like a fantasy to me, which hardly can happen..maybe to many ppl, they might think tat i am veri silly..maybe i am just willing to remain silly up to the day the fantasy comes true..

~first day of holiday~

holiday has started..and yes, its like so sian..cos everyday still must go sch for the next 2 weeks..and tat after that block test coming u.. in aug, prelim shall starts..all these are going in a veri fast pace..in a blink, A level shall starts..so scared seh..this time they never test on j1 work, which make me veri scared cos later duno how to study for prelims..
seldom see him online nowadays..which made me ponder how he is doing..sometimes, just feel worried for him, but worry also no use cos things still wont change..
seeing my eye candy mades me more motivated..hehe..todae saw him twice from far...hehe..
need to go home and study le..sian..

~irritated~

its a miracle tat my standing board jump is 166cm..seriously i think i need to push by teachers then i will get a silver award..if not i always aim for the mini..my theory is can pass can liao..dun usually care abt such results in pe..seriously if my pe teacher didnt push me, i will forever suck at 130++cm..then i will forever fail..
lately has been crazy over one show, "18 shui xing niang"..veri funny and sweet..esp the part when both of them da qing ma qiao, meaning "quarreling" in a funny way..seriously its a nice show to watch..
i dun understand why my sch insist tat gers must long skirts when it looks so retarted and nerd..in fact, i dun think we look smart at all in long skirts, look more retarted and stupid instead..seriously dun understand why they want to have spot check on every assembly, dun u think is stupid and wasting ppl time??gers can have their means of making their skirts long for a moment and later suddenly become shorter..so why bother to check..gers can have long skirts suddenly just by means of "gravity"..so i see no point in checking..
went to SA new campus..the whole building looks veri big and new..overall the sch gives me the feeling tat its veri clean and bright..went to see the exhibition over there, but most of the time, i was rotting..seriously dun reali like going to exhibtion cos see so much words also bored me liao..and moreover dun like seeing presentation of sci experiments
our class won ourselves $150 of starbucks voucher becos of last week PE taken over by the NIE ppl..so shoik man..didnt reali expect our class would win..
duno why i feel veri "FANN" everyday the moment i stepped into the house cos my mum without fail, everyday will ask me wat i get for my test or either she will ask when is my upcoming test or exam..and yes, indeed i feel veri pissed whenever she ask me tat cos she onli care abt RESULTS AND RESULTS!!! to me, i think tat results is not everything loh..but singpapore society made it tat results are everything becos no matter wat u apply, they judge it on the quality or grades..i mean, for now, i dun care wat kind of grades i get, but i will still try my best, becos ultimately A Levels is coming and i just canot stand it when she nag over results from the time i reached homw til the time she sleep..i need peace! not extra noise to stress me..
i wont deny tat i am rude to my mum becos i always talk to her in a bu shuang tone or sometimes i just ignore her becos she is just reali "FANN" to bother me the whole day with results..the way i talk to her is totally different from my friends cos i find her too irritaing..wed, when i heard bessie talking with ehr mum over the phone, i was thinking, wa, we are totally extreme ends..she is so nice to her mum but not me..i dun think i can ever bridge the gap between me and my mum becos no matter wat i sae, she never listens to me, so why should i listen to her when she dun listen to me..sigh..
lately have change a eye candy le..not cute or gd looking, just find him attractive for no particular reason..hehe..but seldom get to see him veri often..
hmm, still miss him, sigh..the feeling of so far yet so near..

~i canot reject the temptation~

last week after sch went to find spm to ask abt maths..surprising he didnt scold me but i think he abit vomit blood after explaining to me cos i am slow in thinking and i take a long time to absorb..those things tat he sae was actually mentioned in lectures, but i still dun understand mah, and he crack a joke on me saeing tat is it becos i look at william sim too much liao until i didnt pay attention to william sim's teachings at the same time..the meaning is something like tat, cant reali rmb the exact phrasing tat was said..anyway my first reaction was -diao-, how come william sim suddenly come into the picture and how he know tat i am looking at him sometimes..weird man..anyway i was down there blushing lah, but tat doesnt mean tat its true!! tat i am always looking at him..its onli once a while when he smile then i will look.other than tat, most of the time concentrating..duno why, guys with nice smile looks attractive to me..the word here is admire, not like..i also admire alot of ppl wat, eg is another teacher in sch cos he looks so cool and his eng super gd and pro to me..
duno why nowadays i keep smiling to myself for no reason..and i think spm tat day think i siao liao cos i was practically smiling for no reason throughout when he is teaching me..
i reali canot resist the temptation of buying clothes again last week..the previous time i sae tat, ok, tat shall be the last time i am buying this yr, but happens to walk past ESprit shop tat day, then happen to be on sale..then my hands started to itch again and bought the jeans eventually cos i was thinking this shop seldom got sale and plus the price usually are not cheap..so now got gd deal, should be quite worth it..so why not buy it..ya, and now this week i am broke, have to eat things tat are cheaper..duno why whenever i am doing window shopping, always happens to have extra money with me then after the shopping, all the money will be gone when i didnt intend to buy anything in the first place..sigh..tat's bad, mum was like nagging me..so much clothes liao still buy so much..seriously most of the time, i buy liao also never wear..maybe i just want to own it..
another thing tat i cant resist is the temptation of fodd..eating makes me feel more awake and alert..tat's why i am so big size and pump..hehe..actually the amt i eat can be comparable with the guys..
todae the SPA was scary..i was wondering, wat the heck is tat stupid apparatus..i was stuck for a moment..but ya, later i decided to write wat i learnt cos so far onli did 1 expt on tat, so must be tat one..
my chem teacher is bac..sian man, she teach organic chem, i whole thing also duno wat she talking..die liao lah, like tat duno how to take A Level..its time to panic again..sigh..holiday shall be more hardworking this time..

~i canot be stress by ppl~

the moment i am stressed by teachers to give an ans, then my mind will go blank..and if i want to approach teachers to ans my doubt, i will find those who have patience with me, cos many times they will vommit blood.and i tried b4 a few of the teachers and when they explained alot of times to me and i still dun understand then they start to feel fed up and irritated,,by tat time, i will pretend to sae tat i understand even though i dun understand cos i dun want to be scolded..
last week happen to see my sec 1 and 2 class guys..it was shan fu who called our for me, it was during the nite, cant reali see clearly tat its them neither if they never call me..shanfu, bing xi, zay ya is still as close as ever up to now, which made me a bit shock cos i long time never contact my sec sch le..all of them still look almost the same..shanfu became tanner and the way he speaks has changed..in fact he has become more matured to me, wondered if is it army tat changed him..in fact he has bcome more matured to me..hmm..anyway reali envy when he sae tat he did so well in A Levels and he still with elaine for 6 to 7 yrs le..hard to find such devoted guys nowadays cos guys nowadays changed gf within a few months..initally they still thought tat he is my bf, but later i sae no lah, but they dun seems to believe me..anyway i am too busy to be attached, so no guys for me..they sae tat i have changed after going jc, have i ?hmm..i never realised tat..one thing tat 3 of them duno tat i am from yj except shanfu cos the uniform looks alien to them/..
duno why i just dun like guys to tag along with me when i am buying things esp when i am shopping for clothes..i would prefer to shop alone..C in the past has never shop for clothes with me, neitehr do i wan C to pei me cos i know C Dun like such things and i dun like ppl to tag along with me esp guys..wondering wat couples usually do ah?seriously i salute ppl like shanfu who can maintain their relationship for so long cos its not easy at all..my mum friend was telling me tat my mum expect something from us during mother's day..actually i admit tat i am insentitve and i duno how to care for ppl and i am insentitive towards how ppl feels..i did tried to improve on myself but dun think i have succeded..
i am still as "cold" as ever..maybe tat also explain why most of then time i was veri cold to C in the past when C did nothing wrong..seriously i got no idea how to care for guys and wat is actually care to them?and i got nothing to talk to guys when i am alone with a guy, but not for the case for gers..i feel veri awkward being alone with a guy..i got a feeling tat in future the same problem will persist if i still dun change..seriously sometimes hope tat can have a bf nor sometimes i think its better not to have becos i am sick of the ugliness and cruelness tat guys have..most of the guys treat their gf like precious gems in the start and dump their gf for watever reason they like eventually..sometimes, i feel tat gers are the victims and not guys..and i reali depise guys who cheat on their gf, sometimes dun understand why gers should be the one suffering and not guys..
i am not sure if he still read my blog or not..but something to sae.."u are someone who is determinded and aim high..i still admire u for ur "never sae die" attitude towards mm..to u,nothing is impossibleesp towards mm becos u have confidence which is something tat i canot achieved up to now..maybe to now, u are my role model for most of the things and i look up to u for tat..but are we still friends>reali hope tat there will be a day when u sae a "hi" to me first..take care my dearest friend..
the chem SPA wasnt veri smooth at the start..i broke a conical flask during the start of expt..duno why this happens, but i guess i am hyst clumsy ba..when it broke, first thing i thought was, oh shit, how much does the flask cost, hopefully not too ex..
PE lesson was fun..a NIE trainee whom i find her quite chio becos of her nice wavy hair..took over our PE lesson for wed..seldom see trainee tat chio b4 considering they are from NIE cos most of them look auntie to me..activites carried out were fun esp the part when everybody have to stand on a long bench and nobody is allow to fall off the bench if u want to move from one end to another..throughout this game, had alot of physical contact with guys, but i think its ok cos afterall its a game and everyones hopes to win..so must help one another..after which played some games as a class and i got the most forfeit cos my reaction time too slow le..duno if they want to sabo me or wat cos i react veri slow and one thing i veri blur..hehe..
i am stepping down soon..so happy, wait for this day veri long le..the new memebers all CMI, so i doesnt matter who is the chairman..somehow i feel tat none of them have tat leadership qualites compared to myriam..my cca is reali zhuo bo, always go out with her to buy food during cca, maybe the word is to sneak out of cca ba..seriously i still prefer mm as my cca and i miss the day spending time with mouse..i miss mousing..

~camp for cca~

yesterday they just sae tat this june holiday going to have camp, sian man..initally they wanted to have something tat he related to do with our cca, but i sae dun want, cos it will be veri boring..so i sugested to have activities tat are not related to cca at all..then must go clean up beach..maybe at east coast, after tat got bbq..all seems so sian to me..
weekend has lots of things to do.going to be super busy again..

~friendship~

friends are hard to come by..treasure it when they are around..reali..hmm...does it mean tat talking to someone whom u long never talk to for veri long means something?>does it means tat he or she has a motive for talking to u???duno why it gives me this kind of feeling tat he or she , whoever tat mo mo ren is, feels tat i got a motive..ya, but i reali dun have..just concern abt how tat he or she is doing since long time never talk le..anyway tat's something sad to mention abt..sigh..
no one is perfect in this world, its gd to aim high and have goals..but sometimes, being a perfectionist isnt something gd also..i do know of ppl who aims to be a perfectionist and to everybody he or she is veri strong but i believe tat they canot take failure..becos they have too much pride in themselves which they couldnt take down..i am not a perfectionist, neither do i want to be a perfectionist..but tat mo mo ren give me a great feeling tat he/she is a perfectionist..yes, i reali find it hard to communicate with perfectionist cos my views and theirs are reali different..mine is just "qing cai" lah, can get wat i want then can le but theirs is totally perfect..maybe i canot find a perfectionist bf in future cos dun think i can take it..haha..ya, this week quite relaxing cos nothing much, tat's why so nuah..and i got many time to think of guys man..duno why arh??but i have no one in my mind except tat particular person..yup, i am just wondering why things are like tat arh>still cant find an ans to it..i have been thinking for days liao still cant think of any man..anyway dun reali want to think abt it le since things has happened like tat..mourning over it also no use..sigh..
seriously am i a nice person to bully arh?cos todae someone sae something sacastic to me and i duno abt it until she told me..actually i dun take it seriously abt wat ppl sae..i just listen and forget liao and i dun bear grudges..aiya, maybe i am too blur liao..ppl sae me and i still duno..never mind..anyway i didnt reali take it to heart lah.

~the class outing~

fri reali pathetic cos onli 9 ppl turn up for the class outing..many of them just have their excuse for not turning up..sigh.,..i make it a pt to go for the class outing cos afterall it was just a lunch or gathering..i can see tat G han is disappointed with the outcome..she make an effort to organise for the outing but majority of our class ppl dun want to go..i mean its just a lunch wat..why just cant ppl gather together just for tat moment or just for tat few hours?and initally thought tat the mo mo ren will be present for this outing but she/he didnt came..up to u all to interpret the person is a guy or ger..i thought he/she always wanted the class to bond then how come he/she isnt here when he/she dun have a valid reason for being absent..yeah, u get the pt, i just find it contradicting..anyway just happen to know something abt the mo moren during the class outing..thinking of it, my lcass reali got lots of clicks.
tat day i ate 5 chickens from KFC at one go..full like anything man..think next one month not going to eat KFC le and the hot wings not hot at all..not spicy at all man, cheat my feeling and money and becos of this i got pimples!!! after every thing ends, went to bugis with yh and cm to buy agnes present and also yh present cos they got the same birthday..anyway bugis is reali nice place to shop for gers stuff..whatever i see also want to buy..but just no money..hehe..so ttoo bad..after which went to the biggest national library in bugis..oh my god, its super big and the lift quite nice to play with esp when the lift is going down..duno why i feel so scared when the lift is going down, heart was popping super fast man..duno why the security over there so strict seh..bags are not allowed in references section which is like practically all 10 levels..onli 3 levels can be meant for borrowing..
todae is a boring day..day seems so long..but this week quite nuah cos dun reali have much tests..but still i got lots of things haven done..hai~~~sian sian..

~how attractive are u to the opposite sex.~

Hey, try it out and see how attractive you can be to the opposite sex.

1. Which place do u want to have a travel most?
A. Beijing ..........................................................go to q.2
B. Tokyo ..........................................................go to q.3
C. Paris ...........................................................go to q.4

2. Have you ever cried when u see a touching movie?
A. Yes......................................go to q.4
B. No.......................................go to q.3

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend still has not come after an hour of your date with him/her, what will you do?
A. wait for another 30 mins.................go to q.4
B. leave immediately........................go to q.5
C. wait until he/she comes..................go to q.6

4. Do u like to go to see a movie alone?
A. Yes......................................go to q.5
B. No.......................................go to q.6

5. When he/she asks for a kiss in your first date, what will you do?
A. Refuse...........................................................go to q.6
B. light kiss on his/her forehand...........go to q.7
C. Agree and kiss him/her...................go to q.8

6. Are you a humorous person?
A. I think I am.............................go to q.7
B. I think I am not.........................go to q.8

7. Do you think you are a capable leader?
A. Yes......................................go to q.9
B. No.......................................go to q.10

8. Which gender will you choose to be born if you are given a chance?
A. Male.....................................go to q.9
B. Female...................................go to q.10
C. I don't mind.............................Type D (go straight to results below)

9. Have you ever got more than one boyfriends or girlfriends at a time
A.Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results below)
B. No.......................................Type A (go straight to results below)

10. Do you think you are intelligent?
A. Yes......................................Type B (go straight to results below)
B. No.......................................Type C (go straight to results below)


RESULTS

Type A : Congratulations! You can extremely attract the opposite sex!
You possess a charming beauty in the eyes of them. You not only have a pretty figure,
but also have a humorous and gentle personality. You should be a literate person
and know how to get along with people and can allocate your time well,
thus you are always popular among the opposite sex.


Type B : Quite good! You can easily attract the opposite sex, but you will
not easily into the loving trap. Your humor makes them want to get
along with you. He/She will be happy being with you!

Type C : Not bad! You cannot attract the opposite sex very well, but
you still have something good which make them like to get along with you.
You should be an honest person and have a unique view in seeing things.
You are quite friendly in the eyes of your friends.

Type D : Oh! You do not attract the opposite sex.
You do not have much knowledge, and not much intrinsic humane values.
You are too rude to the opposite sex. Thus you are not very popular among them.

~the cute SAF guy~

my mind is still wondering at his place..how ah?i reali duno wat should i do..life seems so empty and incomplete without the prescence of him..somehow i feel tat i find it hard or little chance to interact with guys becos my dad is too conservative..he said tat i canot get too close with guys becos he scared tat i kana cheated by them..oh pls..i am so old liao..19 already..i know wat is wrong and correct and i know who is gd and who is not gd..sometimes over protective of daughter isnt too gd...eventually she will suffer becos she isnt exposed to the real world how it looks like..
i overheard the conversation mum told her friend saying tat my dad dun wan me to work after A level..he want me to tutor ppl and dun work..i was thinking u cant protect me forever..there will be a day when i need to face the real world eventually, its just how fast or how slow it is.mum object to it, but i guess by tat time, i will defy him becos i see no pt in staying at home doing nothing..i rather earn some money to buy things tat i wan..first time hearing my mum saying the rite thing..actually mum wanted to guve abit of freedom but dad dun allow..sometimes i think he too conservative until i canot tahan..both my parents have their gd and bad..mum is just too kiasu towards studies, she cant afford to lose, whereas dad is too conservative..sigh,.,.i am not close with either of them..
A level is approaching..half a yr more to come..i have yet to start reveision, but i think in june holiday , i shall start to piah...somehow i think its reali scary cos it will determine ur future just based on those few hrs of papers and exams..gp is still my greatest concern for now..but i have yet to do anything abt it..
ppl sae i am quite blur..hehe..am i??hmm...anyway todae just take passport photo..cost onli $2..they sae i take already veri nice, but i dun think so leh..look so ugly man..but lots of the gers look veri pretty..anyway past few days just took class photos..wa, my class fun shots are unqiue to others..we carry weapons seh..overall quite nice, but i look veri ugly as usual..
then tues got some SAF guys come to yj to sing for us..oh my god, one of the guy is so cute and shuai man..first time dun want to leave the audi cos just want to look at the cute SAF guy..hehe..i am still thinking of his cute look and actions up to now..he kicked pingy to sing with him and i was like oh my god, how i hope i am pingy then can sing with them..and he hold pingy hands..so sweet man..hehe..never mind..can forget abt day dream abt him cos anyway i wont get to see him again..
tml sch shall be used for the tolling centre..initally veri happy cos shorter day but end up still the same cos the sch veri smart seh..ya, anyway yj forever like tat one lah, always like to make use of free time..anyway next week like got lots of holiday..shoik arh..
actually now, i got so many so many things to do, but just dun feel like doing anything seh..so sian..todae test, i never study at all, believe??not usual qm man, cos she will usually study until veri hard, but the truth is i reali never study cos too tired liao, so just wake up 3.30 todae to study but i cant finish study, so bo bian, just have to based on memory and my organic chem sucks, todae all 10 marks all duno..onli left kinetics tat i can do..abit pathetic lah, cos if tat one i all correct then i should be able to pass..if not, i will fail..
the three of us are having private tution with mr chua every tues..ya, must take the chance to get free tutoring cos hire tutor must pay and i long time never ask my tutor to come and teach me liao..i think 1 yr liao never see him seh..anyway he is also busy with his studies..