crying becos...(27.9.2004)

hai~~todae me sort of like quarrel abit through sms.how would i know tat i sent him 3 sms in a row saying the same msg..And he said i not happy also no need to send 3 msg mah..he added that i am sick maybe becos i ate too much mooncakes or study too much!!but u know rite, i dun even hav the intention to blame him tat i was sick becos of him.I was juz playing with him & he sae tat i not happy liao..wa lao wat on earth is tat!!!!!!!!!! FINE...After tat, i decided not to talk to him n shut my mouth up..wat for sia...i dun feel like talking anymore..i started crying becos of him..i never cried for guys b4 n i swear tat i will never cry 4 those stupid guys but looks like i broke my promise. reali, i never had tat kind of feeling b4..though b4 tis i like many guys b4 n i never cried for any of them..looks like tis time i am truely in deep luv...i had no mood to listen to lectures todae and my mind was totally switched off.started to tink of wat happen again n cry, but i hold bac my tears..i dun wan ppl to ask me why i am crying..
then at sgh, doctor sae tat has any of my kins died of any illness b4. yes, my grandpa died of stomach cancer..he sae tat my % of getting it is veri little becos i am still young n is impossible to develop "stones".I am reali scared. if i reali contracted stomach cancer then i wouldnt wan to live anymore..reali..lets pray hard tat i 'll be ok n all these problems wont surface again..mama ask me"u crying arh?"then i sae "no".Yes, actually i am crying becos of wat the doctor saes and wat happen todae...when i write tis diary feel reali better, duno why.ya if i got more problems i will write to u..off to do homework =(

something was bothering me..=(

sat was fun..went out with mo mo ren to study from 2 to 6pm.Did onli maths and studied phy abit.After which, we went to Labourer park to slag until 9pm..Gosh!!Guess wat happen that nite?terrible man..i got my first "k" there suddenly without me getting to realise it.This was a shock to me...i cannot take it but juz to laugh and everything stops..And ya, on my way to arena bk there,XXX sort of know that something was bothering me.Yes, he was rite,but i told him"nothing happen lah"Diary u tell me how to sae that something was bothering me and ignore me when u are realli busy.How to sae tat i think i reali canot communicate well with u probably becos of our large differences in age gap.Also, how to tell him tat i am reali sian and tired of the relationship already..Everytime i muz take the initiative to msg u.i reali sian already..can't u juz take tha initiative instead?and so on and on...

some sudden thoughts

hai~~yesterday was a terrible day..reali...R was giving us that black face and i reali hate it...she is pissed off with we all laughing...and she said"at the rate u are doing we canot even finish at ten"...when i hear it...i was so angry...wat's wrong with laughing man???and who is she is to tell mi not to laugh???ass...i mood was terribly bad...and juz wanted a person to tell my trouble to...but there was no one...and worse i had to go bac with R in the same train...wat the hell !!
ya todae thought of xxx...duno why i feel that our relationship has drifted...we seldom talk and now i reali feel that there is no point having a him...i dun reali understand him duno wat he like...and everything...at least i feel that i know much more abt my class boys than him...sometimes i reali feel like ending this relationship but i dun wan to hurt ppl...hai~~wat should i do???i am already so stress up with my sch work and i reali dun hav time for him....maybe lets nature takes its couse...if reali i canot take it...maybe i will do something....ya i admit tat initally i take him for granted but now i think that my affection for him has build up....but i reali feel that we have nothing to talk abt...maybe our age gap is too big liao...maybe we shouldnt have started tis relationship...sometimes i reali regret wat i hav done...sigh=(

pain pain...

aiyo todae and yesterday suffering from pain duno why...i tink i reali got gastric liao...but the doctor never sae anything leh...she never sae i gastric so could it be others???but if i reali got gastric then why my stomach is bloting so much???like duno how many months pregnant like tat...pain and uneasy man...canot tahan liao...
todae is a cold day nice day to sleep ya but not bad now got chemistry !!!!!sian~~~

juz to drop a msg...

tis ac wanted to find my blog but too bad he canot find my blog sad man...but seriously there is reali nothing to read also cos there is one blog onli...

4 years friendship..

todae saw maril on the train (lakeside) i remember... feels that we do not talk that much now...i feel that our relationship has drifted...dunno why?? maybe becos we are now in different jc perhaps... but tat was sad 4 years of relationships like ended like tat...a bit disappointing lah...
reali miss fhs ppl esp maril,yihui, wanyi, xueling and my jjc frienz... canot forget the enjoyable time i spent with them... that day teachers day went bac to fhs...i saw xueling.. we talk a lot esp on boys girl relationship...i realise that so many ppl has a partner after so many months not with them...some was quite shocking to see them together haha i must sae...