~ok i must admit tat my heart has been moved by him~

yesterday i was still bothering over the interview issue cos i reali want to know where i have gone wrong cos i never knew where i went wrong and like tat i can never know my mistake.recalling wat that manager said, he said something like "wah, u have so many jobs, looks like u are quite experience."actually i am just being honest in my resume wat, but it seems to me tat one should never be tat honest after tat manager said tat to me, cos eventually u will be the disadvantage one.interview is all abt bullshitting and telling the interviewer wat u are capable of and letting him or her being impressed with u..well, if u cant do tat, then too bad then..
kay yesterday nite (sat), i was pretty sian coping at home doing nothing other than watching tv, which i usually does, so i decided to go to expo to shop for some things since metro is on sale mah.kay, as usual i like to dress until veri lam nuah cos i too lazy to dress nicely mah and i have this mentality tat no one will go there since its so far and out of place, so possibility of bumping into anyone is just veri low.but who knows i am so unlucky tat i reali bump into someone tat i know!! and worst still its a guy..and he kept looking at my feet for duno wat reason and i reali feel like asking him but didnt dare..i wonder is it becos i wore slippers and it looks reali ugly??haha..i duno too, this have to ask him..and one thing tat is jialat is tat i kept shaking my leg unknowningly when i didnt know tat he is already looking at me..yes, my image is all ruined..imagine a ger keep shaking her leg cos it has became a bad habit, how bad does her image becomes? ok after tat we took the same train since we are going the same direction and initally wanted to go home de but it seems tat time is still early so i wanted to go outram to window shop for a bag..yup, i was pretty shocked when he asked me this :" do u mind if i accompany u to buy wat u wan?? cos i got nothing to do at home either even if i go home now." haha, can i say " yes i mind.." aiya but eventually i didnt lah cos i didnt dare to be so bad..but i tried saying something like "erm, i want to buy girl's stuff leh, u sure u wan to follow me??" apparently he didnt get the hint, so eventually he still follow me.seriously i find it veri uneasy with a guy tagging along with me when the shops tat i patronized are all selling female stuff and no guys stuff at all.and it seems to me tat he doesnt mind at all..duno why i just find weird and awardward shopping with him, but for some guys still alright and ok leh.at least the pei seh level not tat high.eventually i cant tahan anymore so i said aiya never mind then, we go eat supper ba...and we reali walked the whole round of chinatown and yet didnt manage to find anything to eat cos maybe we are too engrossed in talking le and didnt reali pay much attention to the food tat we wan to eat..eventually we decide to stop at mac to eat ice cream..-diao- right? yeah sat at mac there to talk abt ppl around us and how are things going in life for us. yup, spending tat 2.5hrs night with him was quite a nice and sweet one..haha, i must admit tat he is the 2nd di di tat has changed my opinion of younger guys and somehow touched my heart slightly.ok, this is not going to last cos such crush are usually meant for dreams, after which have to return to reality.tat night i must admit tat i reali smiled alot after looking at his msg and its been a long time since i last smile at msges ever since he left.
kay todae went to east coast park to cycle cos its been a long time since i went there to cycle..actually i reali felt disppointed today cos the 4 of us rarely gets together and apparently we never reali have a chance to meet up.1 of them didnt turn up and the other one was 5.5hrs late.seriously i have no idea how can a person be late by so many hours??ok,so the 2 of us as usual cycle first loh, wat to do since we are already there.yup rental was reali cheap cos its 6 bucks for 2 hrs.but later butt was feeling reali painful since we didnt cycle for so long le.i did get tanner todae and kana sunburn too cos i was under the sun for too long and moreover cycling during the noon sure will kana sun burn de loh..yup, saw uhan too cos he called out for me but i didnt see him intially.after which proceeded to window shopping at bugis again.hai~sian.fri onwards i am going to be jobless le..i better start finding a job else i cant feed myself le..

~hai cock up in the interview again !~

thur went for the interview at raffles place. the interviewer is a man, so i was kinda shocked cos initally i thought it was a female cos i was asked to look for ms XXX, but it turn out to be a man.anyway he was quite friendly lah, and he knew tat i am quite nervous, so he asked me to relax..yup so i crap abt wat i did and talk more abt myself.this time round apprently i could talk more when previously the interview at cycle and carriage was totally speechless cos i didnt expect the interview to be conducted like tat.now i realised tat basically they asked the same type of questions de..usually they will leave u with open ended qns.after which u will have to elabrate urself.well, he said tat the pict in the resume dun look like me at all..so i said tat becos tat one got make up mah..then he asked why didnt u make up today and this is working like.so i said i CANT WAKE UP..oh gosh this sentence must has minus alot of marks..oh shit tat shouldnt be said, well, its has been said so cant be help.although i wasnt reali tat keen to have this job but i was feeling reali emo yesterday cos i always cock up for interview de and somehow it has made me demoralised le..yes and not to mention tat yesterday i was reali furious with my collegues cos they cant be reasoned de man..they always thought tat they are right since they have work there so long and i onli work there for 1 month..but who care lah, next fri onwards i need not have to see their face anymore.and one thing i was super angry with them when they said tat they decide to hire other ppl when i have already found my friend to take over my place and everything has already been said already and now last min have to tell him tat the company dun wan him le..wat the hell, i reali duno how should i tell him cos its like making someone happy for a moment and making disappointed the next moment.yes, i experience b4 so i know the feeling..hai~currently looking for job but it seems tat its hard to find even with agencies helping me find.well, all the best to me ba.

~job interview~

tml i will be going for a job interview at raffles..pay kinda not bad but duno if i can make it through the interview or not.so decided to do some research on what kind of qns they will ask.but seriously working there will confirm be a different environment from where i work now.the jialat thing is u have to wear office attire and its kinda sian for me cos i am lazy to dress up early in the morning, when i could use tat extra time to sleep more.seriously today i receive lots of call from those agency companies the moment i sent out my resumes online.the jobs tat they offer are not bad for some, so just have to wait for reply to see if they want to hire me.but working in raffles is kinda complicated, especially if u will meet different kind of ppl over there.but i do heard tat guys working in raffles are mostly all hunks and gers are mainly chio bu..hopefully the interview goes well cos i gave up my half way just for this interview, which means tat my pay will be cut again cos i take leave.

~christmas celebration~

christmas eve was surpossed to be half day for most of the working ppl, but my company dun have such previlege..reason they gave was "our boss is not a christian and he see no point in celebrating it, so we dun have half day leave.."so when i heard this, i was reali sian lah cos ppl are in holiday mood but we still have to work..come to think of it, for part timers like us, we are paid by hourly basis, if company decides to have half day, then my pay would also be deducted..aiya i think such system also benefit those full timers ba, as they are paid on a monthly basis..saying of tat i recall something regarding the pay thingy..last week i saw everyone's salary which should be confidenal cos no one will know your collegues pay unless the accountant who is in charge of tablating ur pay..i think my supervisor trust tat i wont show anyone those pay sheets cos she asked me to keep it for her and i was told not to show it to anyone..ya, maybe she feels tat i mean no harm to anyone, anyway i also not so bo liao to compare pay when all of them have work for so long over there when i am just quite new in the company..
yeah talking abt christmas eve, i went out with my ex j1 classmates cum birthday celebration for wee ping..i think somehow this gathering was quite enjoyable one especially when 2 unknown guys which i duno pops up in this gathering..i find them quite humorous and joker especially the way they talk..and the climax part for me on tat day was i reali receive a "Lucky" present from joey when he split out the coke suddenly on my face and clothes..lucky it wasnt tat much but he was kinda guilty for doing tat..haha, i think he was going to cough out tat moment but so unlucky tat he was drinking at tat moment so splitted everything on me.yup, first we went to an indonesian restaurant at paragon to have dinner..food wise is quite nice, just tat not spicy enough, if more spices were to be added then tat will be gd..followed by tat, we have gifts exchange.haha, i have gotton a movie cd (the musical high sch 2)..yeah was kinda disppointed cos i hope to receive more practical gifts which at least i could use..seriously i dun reali like receving cds as present, neither do i want to give cds for anyone cos i find it impractical.after which went around to take photos, but the crowd was seriously so bad tat u can hardly move around freely.yes, its tat jialat to the extent tat police has to be around to control the crowd.and as usual some ppl will usually get pissed out when they cant get out of the crowd and start scolding vulgarities aloud..yeah, this time i experienced it again.and we reali had a hard time escaping those bo liao ppl spraying foam on u..yes, one of my guy friend kana tat and he was so furious tat he started to scold vulgarities right on his face cos he didnt offended him and yet he sprayed on his clothes and face..yes, if i were in his shoes, i will also be damn angry..tat night reach home kinda late and it was after midnight..
hai~tml got work again.wat a boring day and rountine.yes 4 jan onwards, i will be free from this company..

~the wedding dinner~

last thur went out with tanu and wee ping since it was a public holiday..its been ages since we last seen each other.yup, went to the douby daut swenens there to eat..apparently the food over there doesnt taste especially nice to eat despite it is a restaurant..yeah, somehow i felt cheated for my money cos food not only not veri nice and also service wise is super damn slow..kay, after eating when to cathy there to eat ben and jerry..initally wanted to eat de, but somehow something props up, so have to see them eat..i think the ambience over there are quite gd ah..there are cushions for u to hug and i think this could be a nice place for couples or friends to chill out with..yup, i think i am in luv with this place cos it just give me tat cosy feeling..after which have to rush home to attend a wedding dinner on behalf of my mum cos she last min dun wan to go..damn i hate this cos i have to rush in dressing up and everything..and yes i hardly put any make up for tat wedding cos i am quite late by the time i reach home to change into my wedding attire..basically the wedding was kinda sian to me cos i am the onli youngster in that table..the rest are all eldery (mainly fifty and sixty yrs old)..tat whole table tat i am sitted in are all doctors and all of them are my dad friend..apparently i have to act gentle in my movements cos all of them are "high class"ppl so cant be tat rough like usually wat i am..groom tat day was reali veri shuai..bride was just so so to me..the wedding ceremony was quite an enjoyable one esp the video clips..the groom was "punished" in the sense tat he had to wear a silver undergarment over his pants before he can step into the bride's house to pick her up..basically i am envy of this two couples cos the groom was a SAF sholarship holder whereas the bride is a doctor..both of them are just so smart, so i think they kids should be veri smart in future..haha..and to me, i was veri shocked when i heard tat the groom was just 3 or 4 yrs older than me and the bride was somewhere near 25 to 26 yrs old..i think nowadays jie di lian veri common nowadays, but i cant reali accept such things..haha..duno why also..
sat went to a church gathering cos was influence by yh to go there..yeah, as usual i tend to switch off during the preaching part..singing wise, i think this church is not as gd as city harvest..i think i would prefer city harvest more..this time round, the ppl tat attended this church gathering are all youngsters..apparently there is no adults at all..sometimes i reali wonder how come nowadays these young kids got so much time to attend such church gathering every week when i thought tat weekends should be quite busy with studies?? i enjoy watching ppl pray cos the expressions seems reali too obessed..yeah, sometimes i am abit shocked for their expressions either..tat nite came bac quarreling with my mum again..damn, why is she keep finding fault with me for no reason..everyone has a tolerance level and i have enough of her nonense le, so in a fit of anger i fought bac..eventually we got into a fight and somehow i lose in the end cos i was hurt in my forehead by tat throw of rubber shoes on my forehead..imagine someone throwing a super hard rubber shoes on ur forehead and after which how will be feel?? yes, my head feel reali super pain, thank god there is no bruise, else it will look super ugly with tat big bum..sometimes i reali feel like leaving this home for heaven sake, cos i cant reali tolerate staying with her..hai~ even i cant get along with her, let alone our future gf and bf..
today went to bugis since i was quite free and wanted to do some shopping..yup, crowd was super heavy since it was weekend..i was surprised by singaporeans as in the way they spend their money cos it seems tat they are filthy rich cos they buy things like no body business..seriously i think the clothes there quite cheap lah just tat there are reali too much stores le until i duno wat to buy..
after next week i will quit my job le..something to be happy abt cos i haven been resting well ever since i work..i wonder wat shall i take up as my next job..hmm...
todae also received a christmas gift and card from a friend..though it was something not expensive but i was reali touched when i saw tat gift cos its hand made and tat hp pouch has my name sewn on it..ya, i think it looks quite cool ah and i think his sewing skills reali not bad considering he is a guy..i think my sewing skills are worst off than him lah..yeah, i think those beads not easy to sew ba..haha..anyway thanks tat day little present..
tml is christmas eve, and i am going to celebrate with wee ping they all..yeah, i duno wat to give too for gifts exchange so i decided to wrap a "to me you" bear..tat bear not cheap man, though its so small in size..hopefully tml events will be a nice one..

~i am kinda crazy over him lately~

oh man, recently duno why i am so crazy over xiao zhu..haha..initally wanted to go his autograph sessions de on sat but eventually i didnt cos something crops up.so onli has the chance to watch him at the star awards which was held on sun..yes, he is reali damn shuai and i was memerised by his dance and smile..this week going to spend lots of money le..haha, going broke reali soon..thinking bac, i think last week was kind sway..i fell from a bus and seriously its damn malu especially the pose tat i fall was damn awardward..next sat i didnt realised tat i am wearing a torn pants (home clothes) when i went out to buy things nearby my house..apparently it is also damn malu, hai~ i think those road side ppl must have seen my big hole in the pants..
yesterday i also received a call from someone whom i find veri surprising cos he never called me before..i reali wonder wat is it cos tat time i didnt pick up the call cos i didnt hear it..

~upset for his departure.~

recently i decided to tell my supervisor tat i am quitting soon..though i promise her tat i will stay til feb like tat, but i guess i reali want to quit le cos i reali cant take the work load..as a results, i always get veri tired when i reach home and neck always feel painfully when i dun get proper rest..but she did requested me if can i stay on longer and not leave cos for the time being, she cant find anyone to replace me..hai~seriously i also duno how lah cos i reali feel guilty for leaving just like tat and breaking my promise..but my question is where can i find someone to replace me?? all my friends do not live near tat area also and its not veri conveinent to get there too..so its kind of jialat lah..hai~and last fri i was so stressed up tat i thought i couldnt finish my work on time cos i got few hundreds letters to be send out and checked carefully for errors before they could be sent out, else, if u send it wrongly, the boss will surely reprimand u cos all the things tat we are sending are confidenal..all my collegues thought tat i couldnt finish and when i can manage to finish, they are kind of surprised and shocked..actually for now, i have got use to this company de..actually i am starting to click better with them le..just tat one thing i dun like abt this company is tat they always speak hokkien ah..no english at all..
few days bac, me and my mum kept quarrelling and i reali cant tahan her cos she kept finding fault with me for no reason..damnn,i reali hate to stay in this house..if not for my dad, this family would have already been broken up..maybe i will just leave this home and go out and survive on my own..but saying is easy but doing it is another thing..where do i find money to feed myself? tat pathetic pay is surely not enough..hai~
my brother has just leave for taiwan today at noon..somehow i cried when he reali leave this time..duno why also..i thought i am always cold blooded all along de..apprently its seems tat i am not..mum also did cry though she tell my brother tat she will not cry if he were to leave..anyway hopefully things will be ok for him over there..for now there will be no one to snatch computer and tv shows for me..sian have to start work again tml, this rountine seems never ending..

~i am kinda stress over work lately.~

i am lately going crazy soon over work..this is something tat i am experiencing first time considering this job is not easy to deal with, especially when i am given so much work to do compared to the previous job when i could just "shake leg" and just received the same amount of pay.. duno why am i toturing myself man, when i could just tell the boss tat i wan to quit just as one of my friend is encouraging me to quit cos he felt tat its not practical to work so far..hmm..i shall see how it goes cos i also canot tahan the work load man..i have to work from morning til knock off without much resting...who can tahan such job man..and worst still i think the long hours made my neck reali painful especially when i have to constantly bend my head down to do my work..i think this job is not worth staying on if my health were to be sacrificed..if not for my friend's mum, i would have confirm quitted tat current job of mine despite onli working for a few weeks..i would rather not earn their money man..

now i finally understood wat is work stress..my collegue being pregnant and thur suddenly gave birth so bo bian, all the work was dump to me..at tat moment i was grumbling and of cos i was veri unhappy lah cos i cant even finish my own things liao still dump so many things for me to do..and moreover i am onli new here..alot of things i am still unfamiliarized so i am kinda slow in doing my things..many at times i am also quite blur cos i dun reali understand wat am i doing, many at times i am just following blindly the instructions..i think taking leave is the most jialat thing cos the next day u have to work like mad just to catch up ur unfinished work and on the other hand,ur collegues suffers cos they have to do ur work for u if the dateline is up..somehow thinking bac, i would rather prefer to study..at least u need not have to worry for this and tat..

yesterday i reali felt like i am some machine cos i have to check carefully for errors in the invoice, after which have to sort out the company names, followed by pasting the stamp and slotting in the letter into the mail..and the process was repeated by few hundred times cos there are few hundreds letters need to be mailed out..initally i have to work OT de, but after tat some of my friends helped me so heng loh, no need to work OT le, else i will reali go mad de..
hai~working in this company seems to tiring, i duno why am i feeling so tortured when i should be enjoying myself after my exams..working life seems reali sian..

~my new workplace~

its been 4 days since i last started work..seriously i am trying hard to adapt to working life as i am reali not used to working life cos schooling and working seems totally different..i am a science student and yet i was given a job in charge of accounts when i know nuts abt it..actually i am kind of a bit regretted agreeing to take up tat job so early when earlier on i didnt even know wat am i supposed to do in tat company..all i know was i am in charge of admin..worst still i didnt ask for the pay before i agreed to take up tat job..now thinkin bac, i think i am kind of reali dumb..actually the pay isnt veri bad, its just standard market price for A levels graduates..(phew thanks goodness), else i would have work for nothing..actually i duno if i should stay on for long til uni starts cos its super damn far man, plus transport fees would be damn expensive by next yr since i am no longer using student fare..hai~~i am still thinking over it..seriously for the past few days didnt reali have enough sleep cos i have to wake up reali early like normal sch days just to take a car ride from yishun since i duno where is it and i am super tired and sick..
yesterday i didnt go for the class outing cos i am quite sick and i reali need the weekend to rest, else i will get more sick..damn, my office practically everyone is sick, duno why also and i think i kana the virus from them and yet they still switch on the air con with full blust, which makes me cough more terribly..actually feel like not coming to work but i tell myself tat this is not schooling, i cant say i dun feel like coming then dun come, and moreover i just started work for 4 days onli, it wouldnt be nice if i take leave when i didnt reali contribute much to the company..
seriously the culture of this company differs veri much from my previous company tat i worked for..previously, the company tat i worked in was quite "high class" and the people there are quite highly educated, mostly til masters or some doctorate degree..but one bad thing is they are abit dao and unfriendly..but this current company that i am working for is kinda of "lower class" (sorry to say tat) ..i was reali shocked to hear so many drop out and one of them being 22 yrs old is already a mother..oh my god, i reali cant believe such things taking place..sometimes i think i reali have a too simplistic perceptions of the working world, i always have an ideal thinking tat everyone should be quite highly educated esp in spore, but it turn out to be likewise in this company..their spoken english is reali canot make it and those veri jialat type..theirs is worst off than mine when my spoken english is already quite jialat and lousy..sometimes i reali wonder how did they survive for this long..sometimes i am quite blessed tat at least i have gone up to A levels, though not highly educated yet, but at least i finish the basic and fundamental education tat everyone should receive..one thing tat i cant stand abt those ppl is tat they are damn vain pot lah..seriously i dun understand why must they keep taking out mirror constantly and their make up box whenever they are sian and keep looking into the mirror non stop..wa lao who are they trying to seduce man, boss ah?? i think boss also not interested loh cos all of them are aunties already..seriously i dun understand why are they so vain pot when they are not young anymore and even to the extent tat can be called auntie liao..and one thing which i dislike abt this company is tat there are lots of lustful guys or rather uncles and old men if i want to be mean..for 2 of the days, i reali feel uncomfortable stepping into tat company..first was one of the uncle gave me a lustful expression when i was alone waiting for the office to open..fine, so i ignored him but he kept on looking at me and exchanging those lustful looks and smile to me, then i got reali scared..next was an old man kept looking at me and my Colleagues asked me if i knew him as they are too wondering why is he kept looking at me...seriously i reali feel tat this company is full of lustful old man and uncles..some of them are even married, from wat i heard..this just shows tat GUYS CANT BE TRUSTED ! i think married guys are just worst off as they still continue to flirt around despite knowing tat u urself are already married..sometimes i just wonder are they ashamed of themselves for protraying such acts..to me, they are so old already and yet they still duno how to behave appropriately..its reali a shame..
this company has no hunks at all,all of them are uncles !! and they reali make my working days more sian, at least previously i have got lots of hunks to admire, so somehow makes my working days more enjoyable..moreover this company cant reali slack, they make sure tat u work from morning til off work cos there is always something for u to do even u have already completed ur task..i think this company not easy to earn their money man, when previously i could slack like mad after noon and yet receive the same pay as now..sometimes i got reali sian tat i took my own sweet time to complete my task but still i make sure tat i completes everything before i finish work lah..else, tongues might wag..and those aunties are reali not shy de loh..last fri boss decides to give all of the ppl in the company a treat and it was agreed tat he onli pay for chicken rice, but those aunties in my company say they cant eat chicken rice becos they are coughing ( i think its more of they want to eat expensive stuff and giving excuses onli)..so they order pizza hut boldly..i feel heart pain for the boss seriously..
todae i just went to a place and i was reali terrified walking in tat shopping centre despite being with my brother cos its seems tat tat shopping centre belongs totally to the thai..the words in the shopping centre are all written in thai and apparently all the ppl there in are thai, even the supermarket.they gave us tat look when we walked into tat shopping centre cos its kinda obvious tat we are not thai at all..i believe tat this is the usual hangout tat those thai ppl will come cos it seems to me tat i have stepped into thailand paradise.todae i also first time seeing a man changing sex to a female and he is a thai..oh man, (she) is super damn chio and i couldnt take my eyes off her and somehow (she ) realised it..first i saw her i look at her top body cos i was wondering if she a female or a male but it seems tat its not flat, so i take it tat she is a female then..my brother also feels tat (she ) also undergoes sex change..but i must sae i am pretty amazed by today's technology for changing a man to a woman..haha...
todae i suddenly thought of him when i past tat expressway..yes, its been yr since i last seen him and i have seriously no idea wat is he doing in life now..perhaps we have reali lost touch..hai~off for now cos tml i still need to work and its already 2.30 am le and yet i still haven sleep..