~i am feeling happier~

anw ytd i had nothing to do til i went to do eye extension for my eyes man..its damn cool man..$7 for the cheapo one..and the outcome still not too bad..just tat the eyelash not tat curl and thick enough cos i wan those super thick and vol those kind..but apparently the effect didnt really come out like this...perhaps when i go bac spore will do this eyelash extension again..hehe..and tat day i was tempeted to do the mole removal also..cos its damn cheap..but then i scared not safe afterall its on my face..so cant play play wif this man..if i save money over this cheap things then my face gone more bo hua man..perhaps i will go do it in the sch hospital..at least its safer man.. ;)

and today i pon sch just to go shanghai for work..it was indeed a diff experience though my supervision job of ensuring those obsolute pdts must reach the incineration plant safety without any ppl sabo touch it..and i have to take photos on and off to proof tat the company pdts have reached the incineration plant safely..lol honestly speaking this job quite lame but anw my colleague asked me if i wanna go or nt..then i say ok lo since i nv do such things before..so try out for once lo..but i must say the car journey ride is kinda tortuorous..sit inside the car for ard 2 hrs and the air cirrulation is bad man..and everything ends ard 8pm when initally my colleague told me tat chop chop early afternoon should be done..but then it ended til freaking late cos everything was delayed due to the traffic jam..honestly the traffic jams here and super jialat..now i know why they say shanghai traffic is really super bad..anw when we reached office bac its kinda late liao..then i intended to take cab home liao cos bo bian cos the bus service could have ended..initally was hoping tat this female colleague of mine can send me home cos anw she drive..but sadly she is totally diff direction as me..so cant..so ended up this guy tat we met at the incineration plant send me home.and wat i scared was i was left wif him alone so naturally i damn scared la afterall i dun really know the directions here well...but he super friendly and nice to me la..so nice to me tat i am scared man..cos he offered to bring me tour ard before bring me bac home..initally i dun wan de cos i scared he is up to no gd..but after tat perhaps i thought a while thinking perhaps i should just giv ppl face lo..since he wanna bring me ard tour then just accept the offer lo..at least its some form of politeness..and he is so friendly up to the extend tat he wanna bring me ard tour sz for tmr and the wkends..then i told him tmr i needa go sch and sun perhaps going out wif friends..so somehow i just ying chou him nia cos i dun intend to go out wif him alone..like damn weird going out wif a married guy..and lately i kept on meeting those bad guys..so suddenly someone so nice to me i will naturally scared ma..i kana eat toufu in nanjing, then went shopping at nite alone got approach on the street by 2 diff guys..then naturally i will sterotype those guys le ma..and moreover whenever i stepped into the bus, i always get glanced and sometimes by starred by some guys, so naturally i kinda rate guys wif very bad impression..either they are tigou or wat..



anw he is kinda sweet to ask me ytd if i am alright through sms..and the msg saying " SMILE ;)" really did cheer me up for tat a while...actually i alrdy ok liao but when i saw his msg i really did smile somewat..then today i didnt went sch so he did msg to ask me why i nv come sch..then i say i going shanghai for work..hehe ..tat sentence is gd enough..i did smiled when i saw wat he wrote to me..

~feeling very very down~

hai i feel very down recently..many things have start to surface..i guess many at times i am really not sensitive enough..cos many at times i really nv tink of the consequences of how i will indirectly affect other ppl through my actions..perhaps tat's the reason why i am feeling the "wall" between them..or rather i am trying to talk lesser to them cos i scared the more i talk, the more trouble i create..so talk less then less trouble i will create..honestly speaking when she said tat " qm can u use ur brain to ....." at tat moment i was super damn hurt..cos it was unintentional and i really didnt thought tat by air-ing my fu rong fu outside the bacony would actually spread the germs to their clothes cos all i thought of at that time was i wanna air it so tat it wouldnt be tat stink..but they tink it as i spreading dirty germs to their clothes..so they kinda unhappy wif me..ok so i apologized to them cos it was intentional and i didnt mean it purposely..but wat hurts me was the words tat she use was really impactful when it was unintentional..ok fine, past few times abt the cupboard thingy perhaps its really my fault..so i giv in to her, but she keep insisting of doing her way then i was kinda unhappy liao cos everyone has their own way of doing things..alrights mayb my way of doing things might nt be ur style but u cant force me to follow ur style when i am used to my style of doing things..first few times i gave in to her cos somehow i tink its really my fault but after a while i really cant tahan liao cos she keep nagging and i really dislike ppl to nag and luo suo at me cos i get irritated easily and tat's the reason why i escape to china for gip instead of staying in spore for IA..hai but come here i realised i am not sensitive enough to handle things..often send out unintentional wrong signals..perhaps i really need a lot of time to learn slowly..this is something tat i cant master overnite so i really need time..and the past incident at the bus..he commented tat "ｕreally have low EQ ..." when i heard tat i was super hurt man..though i appeared ok cos i wont show ppl how i feel...so mr nice came in and break the ice between us..cos i was damn sad at tat point of time liao..then mr nice said tat he can see the sadness on my face, so he tried to lessen the tense atmosphere.well, again it was unintentional tat i wanted to scold tat ass guy inside the bus in english cos i was quite irritated alrdy when he keep looking at me from head to toe..seriously wat's there to look on my body man..and moreover i dun dress til very sexy or wat..so of cos i damn irritated cos i assume tat he dun understand those chime english when he suddenly said one sentence tat he studied overbroad..then i was like OPPS..then after tat once i got down the bus i got scolded by my friend liao saying i low EQ..and somemore said tat if i were to be a guy i surely kana whack liao,,,so lucky tat i am a ger..wah u know how upset i was when i heard tat??? ok i tried to act cool as if nothing happen..actually deep down i was really really very very upset..ok nvm perhaps everything is just my fault..everything just voice down to me not being tat sensitive enough..and i didnt tink of the consenquences before doing things..i feel very xin ku and tiring now man..just now broke down in the living room when all of them was sleeping..i guess its time to release my emtions..bottled up too much for mths alrdy..anw hope this cry will last me better for the remaining nxt few mths..and hopefully tmr will be a better day yeah !! jiayou qm !

anw its been a damn long time since i last blog man..have many things to blog abt but i have forgotton most of the stuff wat i wanna to say..just today i kinda feel very sad so wanna find a listening ear and somewat my blog is my listening ear so i guess coming here to type out my emtions is the best for me..anw for the past one wk i was in nanjing..this place is awesome man..it has nite life and everything is kinda shoik over there..hehe..

and lately there is rumors between me and him..aiyo now like very gan ga man..i dare not look at him..the talk cock and joke feeling like doesnt exist now after they keep kar jiao-ing us..hai..ok maybe the problem lies wif me again.I must break the ICE ! must go bac to the funny and talk cock days..honestly speaking his personality is somelike tat i will like..but then i feel tat i pei bu shang him..i am a noob in everything..blur and always get lost..cant cook and a totally nuah person..whereas he is someone with leadership qualities..but wat am i ？？ forget it ba..just let nature takes it course ba..if sparkles do come then tat will be gd..else just let it be ba..

so wat's the moral of the story today?? QM u needa be more sensitive from now on..always needa tink of consequences before u act..u know now i really well like hving the past ac, who can guide me wat should i do and giv me advice..many at times i just always bottled up my feelings..

~i wish you can read my heart~

this few days was busy with work in office doing translation job..sian..but thur i asked my supervisor if i got anything to do or nt cos i cant continue to slack ard the office doing nothing liao..cos i needa write report for my industrial attachment..cant possibly say i learn nothing in this IA.so he brought me to a new dept then i finally got something to do..at least now the time past faster now..but then now really no chance to sleep in office liao cos i will be going into the manufacturing line where i do lots of hands on..i was posted to the IQ dept where i get to test everything from the start..meaning usually ppl will see the final market product..but then i get to do everyhing from scratch..meaning adding and testing out the chemicals everything from start..honestly the process looks pretty disgusting once u saw how u actually make the final hair pdt..but overall still quite fun cos afterall its a new thing to me..i guess if i were to do these washing and pouring chemicals for many many months i sure very sian one..but now still fresh to me la..

anw going classes in uni is really a chore man..i totally cant understand anything..feel like sitting down there really waste time nia..jialat at this rate, sure cant write any eassy out of it.how how how?? damn shagged sia..anw today feeling really down man..duno why...suddenly feel tat i need someone to talk to..and he is starting to influence me day by day..hai how how how?? can u stop influencing and affecting my heart ..