~updates for now~

alrights, time to have a proper update on my past few weekends. ;) last last wk went to JB for a short get away ;) food there is super duper nice. I finally gotton to eat my super big pao..so happy and i ate super alot of egg tarts..They are cheap and its so awesomely good ! not to mention the night market that we went to, it was awesomely gd too ! in short food is totally gd and cheap ;) and then we came back spore on mon afternoon..somehow it was shoik tat we spend the weekend over there with dear.. ;)

last wkend (sat ) went for job hunting and MBS club ! and some photography workshop.. It was a busy weekend..since i won tickets to the MBS club, might well i dun waste the chance to enter the skypark for free. So actually my motive to go the club was just to see see cos i dun tink i will spend tat $38 entrance fee to enter tat club and in addition i get to view the skypark for free.so why not go alone even with no one pei..moreover i dun feel lik gg home early so just go alone lo..i am ok anw since i used to be quite independent in the past.

then last wkend sun went to expo sales with dear..end up he is the one who shopped for stuff not me .hehe ;) good man can save money. 

man duno why i feel so sian at work..totally no drive compared to the past when i was working.i dun like working in this coy. people here are complicated.After so many chats with my colleagues i realised tat i dun feel a sense of belonging in the company.everyday go work just do own things and say hi bye to colleague. After tat just go home. This isnt the life i expecting for. People in the office treat me like a temp cos i can feel it. Its either the way i talk to ppl or i give ppl the impression tat i am very slack. But i did my work leh.its just tat i dun have much order on hands to search for.So cant really blame me.. ;( and i tink some of my colleagues sitting near me knows tat i always on fb..lol she say me i also saw her using leh.walao ! i really dun like ;(

lost touch with my blog

lately was quite busy with stuff and going out..hardly got time to update my blog.many things happen for the past 2 wks. i am upset with my current job.  ;(  feels so dreadful dragging myself to work everyday.i shall update more when i have more time..pace of the job is slow but i dun see myself doing anything everyday. So what i have been sending many many emails searching for suitable candidates.some just nv get back to me..or some sent over to client but wasnt shortlisted..i feel so sian lo doing something tat has no results. ;(

~is it better to be love or would it better to love someone?~

Ytd night i was just being random suddenly talk to this guy friend of mine abt this cos abit sad over this..He told me i should i have chosen him in the past..lol but tat time i chose to go with my heart of cos since in the past r/s, i chose to be the person being liked instead of liking the party..So of cos if given a chance, if both parties like each other why not giv it a try ya..Not that i am regretting or whatever, but mum always tell me this : " being a girl, its always better to be love than to be love ppl.." sometimes i see some girls just put in way too much for the guy and i feel its really not worth esp when the guy arent gd to her at all..Not that i am saying he isnt gd or whatso ever, but perhaps i do have high expectation just like how he set the standard for me..No choice, my ex is 8 yrs older than me in the past. He alrdy set the bench mark.

yeah then last mon celebrated our first yr anniversary. ok la got touched dao he lighted candles on the grass patch cos its not easy esp with the strong wind..Aiya thanks to tat stupid wind else the effect would be nicer..

last thur met up wif anne too..man that day duno suay or what, i almost kana slap by a lunatic uncle cos we told him tat our table is occupied so he has to find another table to sit.Then he kind of like bu shuang with me then bang the table..walao this old uncle damn voilent sia..i scared man.

~a skating weekend~

fri met up with hm for a korean concert. The concert was cui cos perhaps its not really up to my standard. The gers are quite lian, guys also not handsome at all.Dance steps arent as exciting as what i see from tv..but never mind la, its a free tic anw. Then ytd went to ecp for roller blade.The first step out when i tried roller blading was real scary cos i might fall down anytime but somehow dear help me overcome my fear. Ok la, i am slowly getting the grip of blading, perhaps i need try out a few more times then i dun dare to play..After which, set down in the beach sun tann ;) This kind of slow pace life is just so shoik..If only every weekend is that nice, how gd would it be. Dinner was at some chi char resturant at upper east coast there. Bill is ex wor cos we eaten crab..Apparently it seems that once everyone started working, we became more generous towards how we spend. I agree to some extend too cos my spending expendure increase too !

tmr is mon again.sian it seems tat after i started working, everything became so rountine. ;( at least in sch we do have some acitivities unlike in work..work is just whole day work and nothing else.

my life totally sucks

These few days family is really in a turmoil.seriously very very jialat.i get very pissed when mum throw my stuff for no reason cos she say i anyhow put my stuff and i dun keeping my things..i seriously dun understand why a contact list she also throw..bloodly hell its my first 3 month contact list with all the email and hp no she threw away and this contact list was kept in my file initally and she says that i anyhow put..In the first place, i alrdy placed it nicely in my file, and she took it out to threw away in the recycle plastic bag so i took it bac and placed it on my table..so whose fault is that? i alrdy place it in my file but this stupid ass hole toook it out to throw it away.. FUCKER man how can i not be angry..

i am bloody piss liao when she threw away so many of my clothes when some of them i still want and i told her MANY MANY TIMES NOT TO TOUCH MY THINGS AGAIN AND AGAIN, but this person just dun seems to understand my words...so today i blew my top and i was really became a crazy women cos she is just way too much..i placed my stuff on my table and this bloody mum kept keeping it bac..so i got really pissed.cos i dun like to keep keeping things when i will use it often. and not that, i got bloody pissed when she threw my pizza away in the detergent when i was going to warm it for my lunch..initally ytd i ta bao bac some for her to try since i cant finish, but ytd nite she made it pissed so i rather dun let her eat and let it spoil..but since it haven spoil in the morning, i went to heat it up..but this bloody ass dumb my pizza in the detergent cos she says i am not allow to put my pizza on the table cos she says she alrdy clean the table..FUCK Man, i dun put on table, where should i put? on the floor?? come on, she is just to create trouble..so i damn bu shuang, i hit her bac, but she didnt hit bac cos she threw my pizza in the detergent.

of cos since i hit her she is not gg to let me off so easy..so she created more trouble. she is defintely not someone will giv in to me when i actually hit her..yes she say she gg to pay me bac 5 times more what i do to her today..come la, its not as if i am scared of her..pls la, whats the point of taking out dad's belt and come to hit me..i am not young anymore..i am no longer scared of these things..so we really fought physcially 2 times but she didnt win me..cos i am confirm stronger than her..I am alrdy very angry by tat time, losing all my mind so i could have really hit her bac real hard and kick her if not for my dad who stopped me..of cos she did hit me and scratched me, but dad was there to stop us from fighting and actually pull us apart..dad say if one day he were to pass away, the hse will defintely break apart and i wouldnt deny this too.i cant stand her..not just me, no one can stand her, even my bro...becos i was real angry i spoil the radio tat my dad use for praying..actually my intention wasnt to spoil my dad's stuff but becos she uses the radio for praying too, so i just slam it real hard on the floor then everything broke apart..after tat i felt really guilty for spoiling dad's radio but i wasnt targetting him..i wanna my bloody mum to know how it feels to lose her things..throwing my things away is equivlant to spoiling her stuff tat she uses everyday..she threw away my clothes, contact list and alot of my stuff but i always shout at her and she just go in and go out.so i just have to really vent my anger through actions then she will listen to what i scold.yes i am damn violent today but she really hit my limit liao.everyone has a limit and she has gone overboard my limit if not i wouldnt blow my top and wanna hit her today.

and i got really angry when she keep calling me non stop from 6pm after i finish work..i get really fann cos she just like to call for fun for no reason..i just hated this house so i wouldnt wan to come home early.i always treated home like my hotel.i am only home to sleep and the nxt day i am out of hse again..so dad said her today tat she is really intruding too much into my freedom..whatever i do after work she always like to control..come on, last time when i was studying, she wanna me home early to study, now tat i am working le, u also wan to intrude my life..I HAVE ENOUGH LIAO>>SERIOIUSLY ENOUGH>> i am not ur dog !!!!!!!!!!! even if a tame dog will get angry and bite her owner one day if the owner is really too overboard..she just hit my limit tat i wanna protect myself now.so i got really angry too tat i slam the hse phone on the floor real hard..this is to teach her a lesson stop calling me non stop unnessary, but apparently the house phone is still working after i slam it real hard for two times.i should just slam it spoil and let her waste money and buy a new phone again....i can receive one day over 20+ calls just from  her.bloody hell and its all nonsense call.i get really pissed when i see homecalls from home.. if she continue to create trouble again, i am gg to throw away all her phone book contact list..teach her a lesson for throwing my contact list..i should let her learn hard the consequences of throwing my things..let her experience the pain of losing her stuff..BLOODY hell.

i have been crying many days over quarrels..i am really very tired liao..my mind is really very drained whenever i come home..i dun feel lik talking to anyone.becos today i quarrel real loud tat i tink everyone in my estate hear our quarrels..but i dun care cos i really tahan very long liao..i tahan too long such tat i blow up my top all in a shot..my dad knew tat i am real angry liao so he asked my mum stop fighting wif me cos i dun slam things when i am angry and today i really tightened my fist liao and my dad saw it cos i really going to hit her real hard despite of any consequences..this time round, i slam all the things til i spoiled them..yes ppl who wont get angry when they actually get angry can be real frightening,..my mum just rarely see this side of me cos i rarely blew my blow.today shall let her see my frightening side.she also dare not say much and kept quiet after i slam and spoiled the things.whereas ppl like her who always get angry, to me, i am used to it.

who duno its wrong to hit parents, but she really go overboard liao.so she really deserve to be taught a lesson..i haven really lay a finger on her cos dad stopped me and protected her.if i really went crazy i could have really hit her real hard and i believe the after consequences will be real bad cos she is not gg to let me off tat easy..

NDP preview 2012

ytd went for NDP preview at marina float. somehow the feeling wasnt as excited as i was when i was pri 5. The feeling was very diff..fireworks arent as fascinating as i felt as it should be when i was pri sch.perhaps i am sian of fireworks liao since seen too much in china and i personally have played it before.But overall is still ok la.

looking forward to the public holiday this coming wed.Not sure how i will spend the day..feel lik doing nothing at all.suddenly i feel very dreadful after i started working..the drive that i used to work as a temp doesnt lies active in me anymore. Also, after i graduated from sch, i felt lonier..i felt that friends cant be with you everyday le unlike when you are studying..honestly i dont really have much close friends..perhaps when i was young, mum wont allow me to go out with friends for gatherings or whatever, cos she said going out only waste time, cos i could have spend the time on studies..thinking back now, what she did to me was real stupid. I have miss the bonding times with my sec sch..i only have one close friend when i was in sec sch, but nowadays rarely contact with her.perhaps half to once a yr i will randomly pop by her fb and talk to her.other wise, she is MIA most of the time..the other closer friend ever since we went diff Jcs, we practically dun contact anymore.. ;( ya lo abit sadding sometimes..thinking bac, what i have did in sec sch, i seriously dun remember anything significant i did except studying. Sigh, i never had a childhood since young.i never had a toy to play except the only mermaid that dad bought for me. I never like cartoon cos i wasnt allowed to watch tv when i am studying..only vacations i could only watch..now i have finally graduated, i never really watch TV much le.sigh.what do i like to do in life leh? i really duno man..its so hard to find something that i like to do..i only know i like to edit photos, i like to bake cookies and cakes..but all these baking she wouldnt allow me to even have an oven, then how would i be able to practise baking ? i cant be everything also duno too !

But one thing i know is i love my dear ;) (dear dear dont smile hor when you read this ) Although he can be quite a nag at times, and uncle looking but i still love him cos i am blind alrdy. HAHA

My first perm job

its been almost a wk that i started out working as a recruitment consultant.actually my pay for this job is indeed high but then like i say its damn hard finding suitable overbroad candidates for the oil and gas industry..most of them either wants too high pay or the client side budget is too low.man is so hard to make a comprimise.ya lo then i very stress when supervisor keep asking me before lunch break and after work if i found any suitable CVs to send to him or nt.and my reply is always NO..This job seriously you can be working the entire day on it but there might be a chance there you couldnt find any suitable candidates. This is really purely alot of luck. Thats why i dont really lik cos it seems to ppl tat you are doing your job at all cos you found nothing. I dun lik this feeling.. ;( hai but i cant do anything. doubt i will stay in this line for long. or perhaps not quitting at this moment since economy now arent really easy to find a job now.perhaps i should earn ard 10k plus then quit.then by then i will be rich enuff to find another job.

colleagues wise are pretty ok actually.just tat i didnt interact much with them cos i couldnt find any topic to talk with them.but i was quite sad when there isnt much youngsters ard to talk to me. In fact i can be counted and the youngest in the company liao.hai so sian lo cos i feel so lonely at work.It like dragging myself to work everyday and hope time will past damn fast.

ytd had a bad quarrel with mum again.as usual.She is always talking abt money again.damn keep saying i work alrdy nv see me giv money or whatever shit de.and more more agruments.say liao also sian..alrights tonite is ndp preview ! yeah i am finally gg to watch the live show and apparently it seems that its gg to rain soon :(