~no wei ko to eat?~

duno why lately, i just dun have the appeitite to eat things..in the past, i could reali eat super much, but now i cant liao..few weeks bac, i could hardly eat much at the sakae buffet but when in the past i could reali eat super much without throwing away the rice.another week has past again..i think my life sci is gonna gone case liao man.3 weeks liao and i still duno anything on tat lecture.sometimes i think i rather not come for the lecture cos wats the pt of sitting there when u dun understand the basic terms at all.yeah, its like i am in a advanced level when i dun even know the basics at all.anyway just hope tat i can stay focus and study and read fast cos i realised tat i cant stay focus even for half an hour.after which my mind will start to wonder ard liao..
ytd my piano lesson was kinda of sucky man.the moment i reached my student's house.she was like scolding all the hokkien vulgar and i was super shocked,,its seems tat i come at the wrong time liao cos i think she and her friend got some fight la.so the whole entire lesson's atmosphere was kinda feeling tense la, cos i am scared tat she might suddenly blow up her top and get angry.but i must say ytd she reali wasted her money man cos her performance was reali veri jialat compared to last week.i think its becos she is angry tat's why she cant concentrate.anyway ytd when i was walking down the streets, i feel reali kinda scared cos there are reali too many XXX le..and it seems tat all of them are staring at me cos i guess i was quite bright in dressing ytd.ya, so i walked super damn fast on the road instead of walking on the pavements cos i think its kind of dangerous to walk alone there, especially the entire street is reali filled with XXX guys and no women at all cos after all its an ulu industrial area. so lesson learnt,. in future i shouldnt wear nice clothes when i go there teach cos if not i feel damn scared man.

~contridicting thoughts~

past few months i always yearn tat my hopes can be fufilled,but my hopes are getting so much closer to wat i pin for right now, but duno why i dun feel any happiness or watever emotions tat i should feel for.i think i am just weird man.i think i reali like challenges, now tat i am almost getting to wat i can get liao and this kind of feelings has already died down le..duno why i just dun see tat sense of movivation to fight anymore since i have gotton wat i wan to know le.and i feel veri confused over too many things also.studies reali like shit now.got one whole stack of notes to study but yet i always dun have the time to study..its seriously piling up like a mountain now, so tat's wat tat worry me now.uni style is not like jc..at least jc we do have some small tests and stuff like tat so tat can recap our memory, but uni NO..aiya all i hope is dun ta pao can liao.results not gd i also heck liao.once i am done with uni, then i will be free from studies liao.
tonite got piano lessons to teach again.actually i am kind of wanting to give up teaching liao since i think i cant reali cope with my studies.but thinking of it, my $100 is just gone just like this is kinda of wasted cos i could use tat allowance money to buy clothes and eat gd food.tat's quite a gd bargain man.anyway today i reali need to piah liao.i think i shall just sleep less then maybe can get my engin to start cos past few weeks, i think i am relai too slack liao.i realised tat the more i sleep the more sleepy i get.so i shall try not to sleep so much now

~i think i am kinda emo today~

today initally i am reali emo de cos i feel tat i am damn lost just i wat i felt in jc tat time.i feel tat i am going bac to my jc path, which i dun wan to ! yeah, but later i am kind of destress liao cos relax this word came to my head.lohz

~fireworks~

~super diu lian! i am going to dig a hole to hide my face!~

last fri was supposed to do project after lab but eventually we didnt do anything at all,just talking crap away and joking ard.initally i was the one who say tat i am going to do serious research work liao, but ended up searching friendster looking at chio bu and shui ge.hahaha.
so after the project meeting, ah bok gave us 4 tickets to see the fireworks.yeah initally agreed tat all 3 of us will go for the fireworks.but ended up she last min back out.sigh.so left onli me and kh.yeah seriously it seems super awarkward cos its like onli 2 of us nia.so wanted to drag ah lim go de, but he die die also dun wan go.so bo bian, had to gave the 2 tickets to my other friend.so eventually, we reali became a light bulb man.sian, hate this cos feel super extra.and i feel uneasy too..haha.erm.anyway the fireworks was nice la.
weekend happened so many things.sun nite chatted for 4hrs online and my 4 hrs are just gone just like this ! (feeling guilty liao) haha.anyway i think i gonna dig a hole and hide my face liao cos whatever i blogged here, my friend has read it and its super dui lian now.i didnt want anyone to know my blog de, but apparently she found it and so everyone knows my link now..sian..ytd nite was having gastric pain and its kinda of rare cos i long time never had it liao.so to ease the pain and relax a while, i decided to go JP walk walk since its been a long time since i last shop there liao.seriously it feels so shoik to buy a dress ytd cos it seems tat i haven been buying any clothes the past few months le. ;)

~joy and fun in sch~

lohz..i think i am having fun in sch joking and playing ard cos i duno why am i acting as if i am like some crazy woman who kept on laughing like mad..and i duno why am i talking those stupid and dumb topics in front of the guys. haiz~ anyway my studies is reali like damn jialat now man..lecturers super fast and i reali catch no ball..esp maths..hai~tml i have no class..! yeah i think i gonna catch up with my work liao cos last weekend reali did nothing much since we went out to do project, but in actual fact, i think we went out to chill and talk crap..lohz.

~i got thousand and one millions things to do ~

hai~sian..it seems tat i got thousand and one millions lectures notes and tutorials to do..all of which is i duno de..i feeling abit stress now cos it seems tat friends ard me seems to understand pretty well, but i doesnt seem to understand at all.or perhaps they are guys, so they are smarter at grasping concepts? lohz.aiya this weekend i gonna piah liao, if not my work load keep piling up then it will be pretty jialat.actually for now, my click is mostly guys.duno why, i guess my foc camp has veri little gers, so have to stick to guys ba..but at least i can click well with them cos 2 are from yjc, so we do have some common topics to talk abt.yeah, though i enjoyed the company of this particular guy, but apparently, this guy has some special feeling for this particular ger in my click.ermm..so, i guess its hard liao..haha.sometimes u just see someone not bad de, but too bad there isnt any fate.haha.hai~actually this weekend got lots of activities de, gt tanu potluck on sat,clubbing nite for my zogan camp grp on sat nite too and sun gt to meet up for some project disussion..oh man, i reali super busy liao..ok, i guess i need to go home mugged liao..

~nuahing away~

hai~last weekend was sort of like sleeping the entire day cos duno why the more i sleep the more sleepy i get..lohz.so sat started to study and do my maths tutorial liao..but the jialat part is i can hardly do any qns..seems tat i am getting more stupid liao cos this is A levels stuff and yet i cant do..lohz.ya abit panic liao la.
then sun was out to suntec pizza hut for joey cum kriste bday..after which got some kbox de, but i dun feel like going cos gt lots of things to do..so went home to do hw, but ended up chatting online.lohz.then ytd reali read through my physics text..oh man, its seriously damn sleeply reading the whole entire text..sian
today i guess i saw his lr again on my way to ntu entrance.but sigh i can onli see him from far.dun reali have chance to see him close again..anyway today i bought sec hand textbk for $22 nia.super cheap man, cos i chop the gd ones..haha.yeah.going home to study now.

~super stress now~

hai~all i can say now is i am super stress and lost now cos it seems tat all the lectures tat i go for are quite useless...lecturers like to talk to themselves or some just read out straight from the power point slides which i find tat even everyone tat do tat la.lohz..today the life sci lecturer i am just sitting inside the lecture hall day dreaming cos i relai duno wat the heck is the lecturer talking abt cos i dun have any biology background and she assumes tat everyone has jc biology background.however, not i am the one zhuo bo-ing la..at least some of my friends still feel tat..i have decided to choing textbks liao.at least maybe i can understand somethings rather than not knowing anything.seriously uni is reali lots of independent learning and all the learning is usually done by u,..in fact i doubt lectures can learn anything man..=( know i finally know why so many ppl like to pon lectures in uni..so i see.perhaps u will see me pon-ing lectures soon./and i reali hate my grp ppl taking their own sweet time to walk from one place to another place and wasting so much time when those time can be used to study..seriously i reali think tat they have no sense of urgency man..wait til exams come near man, they will know how's it like to piah like shit.i am not going to follow them man.cos this is not going to work on me..and i reali dislike uni style of learning cos everything is online.yeah, i am not those IT ppl, so i dun like reading and doing stuff online.anyway i gonna have a long weekend ahead man..tml no sch til mon..yeah, i seriously think i need to mugged my work liao cos if not my studies sure gone case.hai~stress~ i reali dun wan to be like in JC ta bao again cos this has left an impact on me ever since now.since i am not those smart type, i shall be the studious type then..

~sch sucks~

sch has just started for a day and i feel totally lost man..the lectures are kinda hard to understand..then those business lect also damn sian, and i reali hate writing eassy man cos we are supposed to write journals when i dun like writing eassy at all..and heng i pass my english profiency test liao, and i feel super damn stress even though i have only attended one day of lectures nia.cos everything also duno and dun understand.sigh..and i still cant get any vancancy for my electives too..sigh..hope tml will be a better day,..

~sch starting next week =0 ~

yesterday (fri) met up with my colleagues and all of them asked me wat i have done to my hair..hehe.and most commented tat i look darker now..haha. of cos la, i went for camps for 2 weeks and i am under the sun for quite a no of days, of cos will get tan now la.but i like my skin colour now, not too fair, either is it too dark.and yesterday my big boss was mentioning abt when is my holidays, she still thought tat i am free during this period but i told her sch is onli starting next week, so i cant come bac to help them..yeah, actually i do hope to go bac help them cos the pay super attractive too, but studies should come first.
after which i took penny's car back to ntu since she was heading to the SBS building at ntu.so longbang her car.after which decided to crash the nie talk at the nanyang audi, but halfway through fall asleep.
next week mon sch is starting, seriously i am damn panic cos it seems tat i duno most of the stuff yet.and i am quite sick now.lost all my voice now and my throat hurt terribly.coughly like mad also.sigh..