~now i reali understand how guys feels~

for the past consecutive days, i hav been going shopping with yh..then for the past2 days, i hav been playing the role of a guy or should i sae tat i feel like i am a guy peing a ger to shop for long hours..actually i do kelian guys..now i understand why most guys dislike shopping with gers unless the ger is their gf then they bo bian..wed went bugis, then yh was taking along time to choose a shirt to buy then she will go many many shops to see..then she will always ask me nice?then i will always sae the same thing ;"ok lah.."actually i wasnt veri interested plus i feel tired cos my legs are so suan, just hope tat she can faster buy her clothes then can find a place to rest..i wonder do guys think alike as me when they are going shopping with gers..hmmm..
then after tat went to eat carrot cake cos long time never eat liao plus i got a craving for it..haha..i always want to eat something when i go out , or should i sae tat i am just greedy..haha..after tat went to the veri famous temple to pray for our results..i also did pray for the health of my family memebers plus my love life..hehe..abit stuoid rite?aiya i happy can liao..then after tat went sim lim square, but we walk 1 big round when sim lim square is just infront of us..we went there to check prices for kq for the lastest mp3..when we stepped in there, then immediately got one retarted guy keep saying:"2 xiao jie come here leh to look at our mp3.."and his voice is like veri disgusting..me and yh was laughing but just refuse to enter tat shop..anyway i was finding tat adaptor but got alot, i duno is which one, but seems to me the price is still quite resonable..seriously seldom see students going to sim lim square to shop except for us..kay, then later went to find french fries..i bet tat its $2 and its reali true..we were standing a few metres from the western stall and shea was so shocked and we quckily went out of the "food court" after tat went to doby daut..now then i know tat it is quite a walkable distance from bugis..
kay yesterday hav abit of lessons, but still i feel sian..seriously why all my friends keep finding jobs..when i ask them why they want to work now then they sae becos i lazy tat's why i dun work..seriosuly i dun see the point of working now..we are students so our goal is just to study and not work..they sae they wan to earn money to buy clothes, btu seriously i dun need money now for anything..even though my dad dun earn tat much, but we are still surviving well even though i am not working..it reali depends on how they spent their money..most of the time, they spent it on those unnecessary things..
kay after sch went to town AGAIN with jamie and yh..jamie wanted to buy a top just for wed's clubbing party and her parents gave her $100 for tat..oh my god they way she spent her money is reali terrible..she look at clothes without looking at price at all..initally she wanted to buy a $90 shirt at wisma, then i was so shocked..the clothes tat she choose i super matured which i will never wear at my age..plus she is veri picky at choosing clothes..she dun wear those shirts tat show her arms plus becos of her veri broad and muscular shoulders, its reali veri difficult for us to find something tat suit her..sersiouly i was quite sian and tired finding clothes for her cos those i choose she dun like..
then got ppl approach us saying tat they wan to find ppl for advertising..initally i heard it as modelling, then i was thinking HUH?MODELLING?we just dun hav any modelling qualites, but came out is i heard wrongly..we did leave our contacts to her but i give it just for the aske of giving but seriously i am not interested at all..at most if i see anomalous no then i dun pick up loh..then we also went to eat chicken at far east..they sae its nice but i dun think so leh..initally wanted to ta bao the left behind for them but since jamie wanted to eat so i gave her loh,..oh my god her appetite is just reali huge..i thought i myself eat quite a lot liao compared to other gers but i found someone who can win me and tat's jamie..my god she can finish the entire packet of chicken when i cant finish..wa i reali faint when i see her eat so much,,then guess wat i saw shank with a ger!!!!he did saw us but he gei siao never see us..i wanted to kar jiao him so i sae EH?SHANK?then he did wave to us..then initally wanted to ask ch to go town with us, then jammie was begging him, but he dun wan cos he sae gers shop alot until he canot take it..lso he dun want to go..anyway we did talk quiet alot even though i dun reali know her tat well..she and cm wanted to jio me and yh to clubbing cos they got some party, but i just dun wan to go cos i think there veri complicated,not suitable for slow and innocent ppl to go..anyway there also got a lot of smokers and bad guys..anyway i dun understand why ch always like to touch my short ponytail..he sae veri cute..kay, i dun think so at all..anyway maybe next time can consider cutting tat length again..hmm..
kay todae come sch just for 1 lesson, so i finished lesson at 9, which is super early, but i cant go out of sch until 1..then i was late to sch todae cos my mama woke me up late..then todae ms ang announce tat retainees are promoted but not cm..sigh..its a bit sad..ms ang said tat i pass everything..so this time not so bad lah..so conclusion is i am PROMOTED! yeah!!!!!

~how to make u smile~

~the past 2 days~

so wat am i doing for the past 2 days..seriously being a retainee isnt easy cos we totally dun hav any lessons, just must come sch just to mark attendance..then after which we will just slack all the way until 1pm..so tat's how i spent my day in sch..seriously tues reali super sian, intially play comp then after tat eat, then after tat sat at the sofa to sleep, then later came ch, then follow up our class guys..we are talking abt cm's tat one, seriously the guys find her disgusting after knowing her things, they sae they dun even wan to look at her..but reali tat bad meh..i thought she is ok..hmm..then reali veri funny loh, we sat there for 2hrs just to talk..then we are kar jiaoing ch cos cm seems to like hjm..then he was sitting beside me, then i was peeping at his features, then realised tat eh actually his features are not bad..plus he quite innocent also, but not as innocent as me...after sch then went to eat waffle with him and yh..tat was reali the longest time we talk to each other..anyway he got the innocent cute..after which went with yh to the yishun libraby to kill time..
yesterday went out of sch early to town, practically leave sch at 12.30..seriously town abit sian leh, we didnt reali shop, spent most of our time in HMV listening to those music..plus yesterday raining so spoil part of our day..we went to far east to eat the chocolate mars..initally wanted to eat the taco ball but later never eat cos on budget liao..then yesterday 3 ppl approach us asking we all to donate for duno wat organisation but we didnt cos i felt like they are cheating to cheat our money, they like to prey on students, but we smart leh, just dun wan to donate to them leh, they just canot do anything to us..
todae will be going bugis to walk walk cos yh wanted to buy clothes..maybe after tat will go sim lim square ba, if i can find the way there..i am seriously scared sia, this fri we retainees will know wether we can promote or not, but those new j1 canot cos they still got pw and chinese A level exam coming, so in order not to affect them, the sch decided tat we dun wan to tell them until their exam finishs..seriously i must reali pray hard tat i can promote..wondered will they moderate for phy or not leh,if not reali alot of ppl will flung the paper badly..kay, i wan to see harry potter liao cos tanu lent me to VCD to watch..i will just stay in sch to watch..haha..

~i am just super blur tat day~

oh my god, i reali did super pei seh thing..on fri evening, i was going to call my brother cos its quite late liao and he still haven come home with the food and i was quite hungry le..then how i know why i suddenly recall the wrong number then call him without realising tat i call the wrong person..initally when i picked up the phone then i realised tat why is not my brother's voice..at first i still thought is his friend, so i ask who is he..then the guy sae is him..then i was thinking oh shit..i think he must be thinking i gei siao wan to call him still use my brother as excuse, but tat day i reali never gei siao wat..i dun even dare to msg him, dun talk abt calling him..so i reali never gei siao..at times ppl do make mistakes and recall the wrong number and call the wrong person without realising..but this is not the first time liao..sometimes i do call the wrong person..seriously i duno wat to talk to him after so long never talk le..all i know is tat i wan to quickly hang up the phone to cover my embrassessment..wa lao, its all my brother's fault..if not i also wopt call him by mistake and make myself pei seh..aiya, never mind i rest assured tat in future i wont call the wrong person liao..wa lao i super pei seh tat time..hai~~~~wat has happened has happen le, thinking so much also cant change the fact tat i did call him...i told yh abt it and she laughed at my blurness and worst still of all person, i call him..but not my fault wat, tat time i thought tat no was my brother one's so i just call loh..
my brother has got his results for promos..one A and 3 Bs,,wa seh i reali salute him cos he is just too smart..even though i retained 1 yr still cant beat him..now he is thinking to take 2 special papers just for future scholarship..wondered how he is going to cope man..anyway i can onli get my results on 18 of nov..still so long sia..seriously i duno if i can promote or not le..the most worried is my gp..tat gp compre paper most of the qns is i anyhow do cos i dun even understand wat the passage is trying to sae then how to do..if things turn out bad this time, i will reali cry for days..never mind,now i dun think so much, wait till near the date then worry lah..
i reali addicted to watching tv liao..practically spent my day watching tv and sleep..like tat i will go fat sia..then realised tat my brother has "grown up" liao.,.he is no longer xiao didi le..cos he like got muscle leh, then hor he got those smelly armpits hair..haha..then super stink loh,canot tahan him..he ask me to pluck his armpit hair for him cos he feel veri itchy, then i this "nice" sister help him loh since i wan to make him feel painful..but then i need to cover my nose and mouth cos i will reali faint..haha..then i was watching a variety show whereby they let ppl guess who is the champanion for bra model..oh man when i see i felt disgusted cos its reali damn big..then those guests (guys) still somemore sae can come closer to take a closer look..wa lao they reali pervert sia, should sae tat they are dirty old fellow..anyway tat variety who is nice, kept makeing me laugh..
on sat, it was a tiring day for me..afternoon went out with yh to shop until my legs so suan..then after tat went to the library to rest our legs and also take picts..then after tat went to make spects..finially i found a spects tat suits me and make me more stylish..after which, she went up to my house..she is my sec frien tat entered my house b4..most of them didnt step into my house b4..my mum sae she quite chio..ya true, she look chio tat day..
kay after tat went to church..when i stepped into the church for service, i was just reali amazed tat the church look veri polished and classy..then got lots of ppl also..the service tat i went to are meant for adults, but there is quite a no of youths..then suzana did introduced lots of friends to us, including some yjcians, but i didnt make it an effort to rmb cos i am veri tired due to the shopping..i just smile and shake hand with those guys and gers and after tat stare into space cos i feel like sleeping..actually i realised tat church ppl are quite friendly..then the leader still ask number from both of us..i was thinking can i dun giv but end up i did gave her cos duno how to reject..kay went to their auditorim, i felt tat ia m entering a live concert hall cos there are lots of camera which are used to broadcast into the net, plus all their lightings and band are just reali nice..first part of the service was praying which i find it veri sian cos duno wat they talking abt..then things tat amazed me tat why must they always rise up their both hands when they pray and the way they pray look terrifying to me cos they look obsessed and their facial expression reali scare me off..sec part was singing which i find it quite nice..i realied tat their songs are quite nice, at least better than those rock music and the indonesian pastor reali sing veri well, just like his voice..on ething i realised is tat their lyrics kept repeating abt 4 to 5 times until its super long.then i was reali amazed tat those adults are so enthu cos they kept jumping up and down when they sing and when they pray they are reali devoted and commited to jesus cos from their expressions most of them are closing their eyes..no i know why tat time he siad city harvest is happening..reali it is..lastly was the teaching of the bible..seriously i felt like sleeping tat time cos i dun understand wat the pastor kong was talking abt cos his english just seems too chime for me to understand..but i like the ho yeow sun's husband speech cos he veri funny plus i thinking he is a veri gd speaker and he is knowledable also...in all i learnt tat christian like to use the word "aman" and "ah le lu ya" but i dun know wat it means..anyway there is a big difference in christian and buddhist..they are just veri commited and devoted to religion..whereas for me i am not devoted to religion at all..in fact i wan to be a free thinker..and starting for 1st dec they will be moving to expo le..tat quite fast, it seems tat they just moved to jurong not long ago and now they want to moved..they ask me come for this fri gathering but dun think i wan to go cos i will find it veri sian if i go there too often and always doing the same old thing..anyway our yj senior look cute, but like some cartoon character, but he abit short..tat day reali see alot of chio bu and yan dao..
yesterday wrap presnts for them..wa lao i wrap until super ugly..duno if i got the cheek to giv my frien or not..todae also so sian..stay in sch get to play computer..

Yesterday was watching tv the whole day..felt so shiok man, never reali sit in front of the tv for entire day for almost a yr liao..yesterday was watching the qing wa bian wang zi..oh man the lead actor is so shuai..his eyes are just so nice and can reali produce “electricity"..afternoon went jp to get the lens since I got so much time to waste..when I went into the shop, I was finding a female assistant but there is none, so bo bian must find a guy assistant..actually I dun reali like talking to guy assistant, duno why..maybe I feel shy..in mrt also I will never ever choose to sit beside a guy unless tat guy is a xiao didi..duno why leh..

Todae woke up quite late even though yesterday I slept early..after which went to the market near jjc there..i was angry with my mum cos she veri guo fen loh..she happily dump all the things tat she bought which is veri heavy cos got a lot of fruits, vegetables, mee and many other more, then after tat she went off with yi jie mum to jp..then she made me carry the broom tat she bought..initally she wanted to dump 2 more stuff for me to carry but I reali got angry..wat kind of excuse saying tat go jp canot carry all those plastic bags…I think its more of tat u are lazy and making use of me to carry..so ended up I carry things tat should be carried by 2 ppl and carrying the stupid broom is so mafan and irritating ..then the stupid bus some so slow, then I got veri fed up..now my hands are reali aching..

Then so sway saw the qwss jing yi in the bus stop..duno why from far I know tat guy is him already even though I didn’t wear my spects..kay so I pretended to never see him by bending my head down and covering my face..but end up he still saw me cos after tat he walk a few steps away from me then I saw he and his friend turning bac to look at me, then so qiao I saw also looking at them also..then I was thinking oh shit, then I quickly turn bac..actually suprising he still remember me..he did become more yan dao. He did change his hair style liao..at least now he did make his hair stand liao..he did became taller a bit or is it the pants make him taller..hmmm..kay anyway I super pei seh loh cos tat time I was carrying a broom leh and so many many plastics bag.then I look like some aunite and I wear until veri ugly cos I thought going market wat so no need to wear veri nice..actually I am a person who always like to gei siao tat I never see the person when I actually got see..plus I am a veri self conscious person..i matter a lot on how I dress when I go out..when I go out with my friends I make sure tat I dun wear until veri ugly..just duno why..plus duno why if there is a pimple on my face then it will matter a lot to me..some ppl dun reali care but I care a lot on complexion..kay, I also saw cheong guan, but he didn’t saw me..he became more plump leh..plus his back no longer look attractive to me liao..last time sec sch I like to look at his back a lot cos I think he veri cute, I some sort got a crush on him, but not for long..onli a few days onli..after tat I got sick of seeing him liao, so I change to another target, james I think..remember last time maril always like to sae my taste veri bad, so none of the guys tat I look are gd looking..but every person has different taste wat, I like guys tat are cute and got big eyes (cos my eyes small wat)..then I can admire the guy’s eyes..

Then todae took the 99 bus then I find tat those drivers reali got attitude problem sia..the bus drivers nowadays veri alert sia, todae they caught 2 ppl never pay.. one of them use his younger brother bus pass to pay and was caught by the bus driver..they got the machine in front of them then once u tap the card every thing will show..so if a ger uses a guy card then its obviously she is using other ppl’s card..that malay teenage was caught and he was asked to give down his name and ic..i think the guy reali siao now, think he going to hav a record man..i still thought most bus drivers are stupid ppl but seems tat I am wrong man..they are reali getting clever nowadays..they even hav the machine to check on u..then one old man didn’t want to pay and he even pretended to tap his card from far away but got error so it alerted the driver so he asked him to tap again then he not happy and he scolded vulgarities..seems like now the society is reali complicated..i took old ppl are gd ppl but it came out to be likewise..maybe my thinking are got too simple ba..lots of ppl told me tat, even my mum said tat also..

Sian man, now nobody at home now..i am so bored now..i switched on the radio until super loud cos just feel veri bored..duno if later want to go canteen A or not to eat, cos when I think of I need to walk so far away then I veri sian liao..going to sleep for awhile now..feel quite tired after coming bac home..at nite I will continue to watch tv..feel like playing piano for a while cos long time never touch my piano le, but I dun hav any new scores to play..maybe mon go sch find then print in sch..then like tat I wont feel bored in sch..

Tml will be quite occupied..afternoon going jp with yh since she never went there for long already..after which i need to make spects then after tat will go church..then late at nite then I reach home..but not so bad lah, at least I live near there..

50 -50

Its been a long time I never wrote a proper blog le..finally the promos tat I long await has finally ended after a yr..chem was quite easy, maths okok…physics reali super difficult, practically I dun know every questions..i am just scared tat I will get a F for it then I will get kick out of sch le..jamie also cried on tat day cos she left most of the questions blank..for me, I tried to fill up every blanks even though I dun know how to do..we retainees just hav this fear tat we cannot promotedue to last yr experience..actually I reali duno if I can promote or not..% is just 50-50..so far my physics always get B or C, haven got a reali lousy grade yet..so reali duno this time..but all I can sae is tat I hav tried my best liao le..i pon 2 days just to study and last week I was so stressed tat I cried 2 days cos I was having headache then I canot study..at tat time I tok I will develop some mental problem and need to see psychiatrist cos my mother also said tat..but luckily I ok now le..maybe I stress myself too much liao le..then the nite of physics paper, I felt like vomiting when I was studying, after tat I went to sleep cos reali canot tahan..probably, I didn’t sleep enough tat’s why like tat everyday I sleep for 4 hrs onli just to study for the exam..i realized tat u need to train to sleep 4hrs eah day beforehabd so tat at least tat ur body can get use to it..maybe my body canot take it tat’s why like tat..when I was doing the exam paper,. My eyes were so painful..i wanted to give up tat time but I didn’t dare cos I dun dare to take the risk..
Anyway exam has finished..retainees just dun hav anything to do..they sae come bac sch for self study but who so bo liao and stupid to study after exam..life is so sian now loh even though I can slack all I want..after the last paper, the 3 of us went to eat dinner..then saw a lot of our sch couples eating together..tat’s sweet..actually both of us felt tat having a bf now would be nice but sometimes when u think tat having bf would bring more troubles to u, then we rather stay single..
This sat nite going to city harvest church with yh and suzana..excited sia cos can meet a lot of ppl then can widen my social circle also..seems not bad..then can shun bian go ther see see look look at yan daos and chio bu..maybe after tat go eat super with them..maybe tat afternoon will look for presents for my j2 friends..last yr, wee ping still gave me a happy meal to cheer me up when I was retained..even though it’s a bit stupid, but its sincerity tat counts and not the present itself..this yr she taking her A levels must give her encouragement..i think she is quite a nice friend to be with, b4 my promos she did giv me some encouragement plus my friend, not to mention my gd friend..they all are just veri friends..without them I will still brood over TAT problem..sigh, last wed dun hav time to see their graduation day cos I hav to went home early to study..i haven sae gd bye to them then they go liao..so fast..hai~~reali so sian man now..todae and tml will be holiday for me..reali got nothing to do..ask them come out go eat, then yh sae I on diet..so canot, cm lazy to come out cos this few days kept raining..the rest of the ppl got Chinese and pw exam coming..so the retainees will be super free..actually I wanted to jio christine to come out, duno she free or not cos its during sch day then duno she got lesson tat day or not..aiya, in all I can sae is I am veri veri sian..my mama kept asking me to pei her go market to help her carry the heavy things, which I am veri lazy to do so..
I finally can rest after a yr of hardwork plus slacking..i felt tat having a gd foundation is reali impt..last yr, my foundation was just super weak until I got retained..this yr the sch is raising its criteria for promotion..they siao one loh, like tat they will end up retaining more ppl..this yh no use retaining ppl cos next yr syllabus change liao..anyway I can predict who will retained in my class liao..abt 3 to 4 ppl..sigh..some of them will scrape through..this yr, my dad going to bring us to Malaysia again..either going KL or johor..yeh..so happy..can go eat and buy things until siao man..then my mum sae tat if this time I do well for my promos then she will reward me, but wonder wat is her reward man..think physics this time gone case liao..hai~~~

~sick ~

last sat was sick cos i onli sleep for 3hours..then i was having a slight fever..then my mama was boiling some ginseng drink for me..but after tat i did sleep before i study..so overall still got alot to study..die still got 1 more week..then my mama dun let me pon liao..wa lao now i got dark circles man, look like some panda now..hai~~~so sian loh, i never so hardworking in this yr b4 loh..wake up at 3 or 4 something just to study..
anyway now i am reali sleepy and tired..feel like sleeping man..
die seems like quite a no of ppl know wat's my website le..kay maybe after my promos i go make a new blog since i got so much time..then after exam still must look for presents for my friends cos they are leaving..and tat will be the time i am broke..

~i am veri stress until i cry..~

my mum and brother are irritating ppl..they keep scolding and all those stupid things..i so stress up liao then they still make me so fed up..i felt tat i am breaking down soon man..just now still cried..then my mum kept scolding me tat i keep poning sch..then my teacher kept asking me why i never come sch and all those..she knew tat i am poning sch liao..its so obvious..so i bluff her tat i got headache so i not coming sch..but she sae need mc and all those shit.but i heck care man..headache also need to see doctor, where got such logic..anyway i just dun like her as my form teacher..she cant stand in our shoes on leh..
die man, i still got alot of things haven cover yet..just super tired and stres...i guess the next few days i will cry again man..then some more my mood is quite bad now..i get angry easily..probably i am just veri stress up for now..kay must study liao..since todae i espacially pon sch.so must make full use of it..

~worried~

just took the gp paper..seriously i am reali worried..duno if i can make it or not..think i can sleep man..hai~~~