~i am finally back to spore on 29.06.11 after half a yr ~

i am finally bac after half a yr..the feeling of stepping once again in spore feels kinda weird initally.it seems tat i have really lost touched with spore for very very long time.everything seems abit off for me..the surroundings and things seems to have changed quite a bit.apparently things and food isnt as cheap as china now, so i cant really spend llike nobody business now.hehe..anw the past few days before i left gz, he did msg me asking me to take care and have a safe trip..hehe i was quite happy in fact cos at least he still rmbs me..ok tat one whole wk for certain days i was kinda emo cos apart from being alone in guangzhou, i had to face up to the fact tat i am actually leaving china for spore ! actually i am really really very happy staying in china cos at least my life wouldnt be tat bored and being so rountined as compared to spore.i am seriously getting sick of spore life, which explains why in the first place i chose to escape to china for half a yr to seek for better life.and indeed this half a yr left me many memorable memories.and not to mention tat this trip did widen my travelling experience too. ;) seriously after stepping bac into spore once again, i do miss travelling.perhaps i shouldnt come bac tat early ya.should i hv continued travelling wif him in yunan and skip the desert trip.perhaps we could hv more time to understand each other better in yunan if i were to join him cos he is more than willing to let me tag along.cos initally he and anne keep physcho me to join them in the desert trip, but due to cost contraint i chose to leave them halfway through the journey and head for guangzhou instead.hai so duno now gt regret nt continue join-ing the trip wif they all or nt.come bac spore so early like seriously damn damn sian.i am not going to shop in spore area since i hv shopped super alot in china le.now looking bac i tink some china clothes are even better looking than spore clothes and most imptly its cheap.

anw when i stepped into spore, my mum was saying tat i did slim down quite a bit.ho ho ho kinda happy to hear tat i slim down..its hard nt to slim down in china when u are sick there for 2-3 mths non stop.so i guess it was worthwhile ..and the worst comment tat she made was she felt tat i did a nose surgery ! which i didnt ..but apparently both my landord and her also said the same thing tat i did a nose surgery ! how can it be man.the most i only did something to my eyes which is eyelash extension.anw when i came bac to sch the nxt day one of the guy also said tat i slim down, but sadly i now become flat chested..walao when i heard the word flat chested i was totally sian diao cos really very sian when you are alrdy a tang yuan liao then now flat chested !!!!! but anw i didnt take his comment to heart cos i dun really care, but sian diao only.

anw updating abt my guangzhou trip.i was asked to pay $50+ on excess baggage..totally xin tong max man.and the reason was becos i chose not to check in my luagge as i thought tat they wouldnt wan to check as i did the same time when i travelled to KL tat time but it was a diff airline though.hai totally sian max wasted so much of my money ! but anw there is nothing i can say cos i chose not to buy the check in luagge option initally.

i am bac to spore and now kinda miss him actually.wonder how is he getting on with his travelling man.although fri nite did managed to chat wif him, but apparently i hav to offline soon as i was in sch tat day.so cant continue chatting wif him though i was tempted to chat wif him until super late like how we htht in suzhou.but yeah i guess he is happy travelling in yunan now.actually i duno if i should trust hs words or nt.he says tat he wants it, just tat scared to try.but then on my part i dun tink so leh.actually i duno ! he always confuse me one cos he always so nice and cheeky to me.then i duno wat he thinking inside also.one moment he tell me this, one moment he tell me tat.totally damn confusing..but then we shall see how when he is bac.he say he will jio me for lunch or dinner when he come bac.i see hw it goes..but honestly i really damn scared to face him leh cos i dun wan sink deeper liao.i promise myself tat i wanna forget him once i get bac spore cos the wonderful memories has ended in inner mongolia.shall not extend it to spore cos i wish to withdraw frm him..but then hs say tat i should continue wif the flirting and stuff lik tat cos tat's how one build up understanding for each other.and he says tat i should seriously get a life ! true indeed i needa get a life, but then i really dun wan sink deeper ! hai ~ you are seriously messing up my life ! why do you always appear when i needa help most of the time during the crucial period.i guess heaven is trying to pray a prank on me.pls man, help me forget this gd guy.perhaps i really pei bu shan him.

~end of GIP trip which also marks the closure of my heart~

GIP has ended.somewat i do feel sad over it.afterall for the past 6 mths i have been really enjoying myself really much.i believe in spore, i wouldnt have the chance to enjoy tat much also.i do feel sad when i parted with my colleagues although i rarely talk to them.but they are nice people whon are quite concerned abt me at times.thus i feel very bad and guilty at times.and eric this colleague of mine, seems very nice to me also.apparently he is the only one who can continue the convo most of the time with me cos we usually msg each other by english.i guess if he were to msg me in chinese, i will lazy to reply him in chinese cos i will type very very slow.but anw kinda touched tat he msged me most of the time asking my stay in china.in fact i was stunned tat he msged me when i am in inner mongolia,cos didnt expect he stil rmb me.i thought once i left the company everything would hv ended.anw ytd he did chatted with me on msn when i am really bored in GZ alone at nite.god bless there is internet in this hotel man.else i surely damn sian..

alrights i shall update on our inner mongolia trip.honestly speaking, i feel tat this trip was too short.i guess i feel short probably becos i only have very limited tiime to spend with him.afterwhich we will go separate ways liao.but i am really touched tat he helped me so much especially with the carrying of my baggage.cos i really feel bad abt it when he alrdy has lots of things to carry wif him also. also,the htht nite before i leave was indeed a gd one.at least i know better wat kind of things he like and his way of thinking for certain issues.anw i did teared in the early morning when i bid gdbye to them in the lanzhou railway station.hai the feeling of saying gd bye to a person really very hard esp when past few days i have been very close to them.and i kinda bu se de leaving them for guangzhou.though i really dun mind going the desert area wif them but then i money constraint now.like i say, GIP has ended.qm its time to move on to a new chapter of life.he has given you a wonderful memory for the past 6 mths and tat's enough.once i am back in spore, i believe i will probably too busy meeting up wif friends and doing fyp stuff.thus, doubt he will appear on my mind.i guess this is how i can forget him for now.but nvm its not impt alrdy.actually we did mentioned to each other abt this issue, but most of the time we came to no conclusion. so i tink lets just call it a day ba.dun tink anymore.

ok lets move on to my guangzhou trip.actually i am damn scared travelling alone in guangzhou.the first thing when i reached lanzhou.i had to take a cab to the airport.and i really dun dare take cab overseas.but bo bian.then once i reached the GZ airport i was very very lost.i couldnt find my way to the airport.some more i was carrying so much stuff.i am totally cui to the max man.and some more i can turn to no one for help.but i was very blessed with nice ppl helping me on the way on finding my hotel.got one auntie told me not to loiter around til very late cos GZ is a dangerous place for a girl to travel alone.u know tat time i was damn touched la.cos i was very helpless carrying super heavy luagge then no one could help and guide me to my hotel.i almost broke down tat time cos i wanted to giv up finding my hotel liao and randomly find a hotel i saw on the street, but apparently all freaking ex.so i was forced to take a cab though i was really unwilling cos i am scared taking cab.but lucky the hotel service came out to be kinda gd.at least there is internet for me to use.so not too bad..and i was given a double bed room instead of a single bed room cos the other guest haven check out.so i zuan dao.hehe.anw today shopped kinda a lot of clothes liao.tmr needa explore some other places...shall find a bag and assessories nxt.

~11 more days to departure~

days of leaving sz is nearing day by day.hai abit of mixed feeling cos afterall i have grown to like and adapt to this place..though i dun hv friends and family here, but apparently i feel much happier here and in SG.perhaps here i really feel no stress at all.enjoyed the slow pace of life and the zhuo bo life in suzhou where everynite we will chill at eug's hse til late nite and watch movie.this life is something tat i nv get to experience before.so will kinda miss all the happy times tat i spend in suzhou.

anw last fri went to pluck pipa..its interesting to pluck fruits and peaches cos afterall its my first time plucking fruits straight from a tree and eat it fresh.and fri marks the last day of sch..which means i graduated frm sz uni le..hehe. ;) tat nite had a grp dinner with the teacher.then sun went to eug house to cook.first time in the 5 mths stay overseas cook man.not sure why i gt the sudden impulse wanna learn to cook, but i certainly want to learn someting new before i go bac SG.at least wrapped up the whole trip with beautiful memories and new skills.anw fri i gt to learn a damn shocking news.in all i would like to say, "life is indeed unpredictable..anything can happen" ...nv would like expect a suddenly couple to turn out.alrights not bad so far this gip for sz gang has churn out 3 couples also.whoo !

btw i nt sure if i wanna tell him hw i feel deep inside on the last day of inner mongolia or nt.though i really feel like telling him my inner thoughts, but apparently i really dun dare.i hv totally no couraged.should i let chance slip away just like tat? ks mentioned tat she isnt his type also, but end up they just got together ! which explains why i say life is indeed unpredictable. and saying is easy but carrying out the actions are very very hard esp i am a girl, hard to express wat i wanna express to a guy.somewat alot of times i tink he is really way too gd for me.kinda dun match him.i believes tat there are much more better gers for him out there.but if i always tink like tat, i will forever regret one cos i always let chances slip countless times alrdy.many times i met a few right guys, but i often dare not confess, so bo bian regret for countless times.but wat can i do other regretting?ｉguess tat's just qm life.its has become a viscous life of regrets.sigh..apparently i can feel the wall between us now.i ask him not to treat me so nice now.and yes he did drew a line now.at least i feel better with the line drawn now.cos i dun wan sink any further liao.sometimes i wonder once we are back in spore, will u still contact me? i know u do have lots of friends as ur social circle is super super big,but i do hope u will still rmb me as a friend whom gave u entertainment for the past 5 mths.or perhaps jio me go out eat i will be happy also.anw life is short, at times i just feel like doing things on impulse and this is the impulse tat i feel like engaging in.but high chances i wont dare to confess one.hai