~PonINg OrienTatIon~

last fri ,me, wee ping, and 106 gers went to junction 8 for window shopping and buy new clothes for new year..then after the gers went home, there are onli 4 of the gers left..then ben waited for us..he is a veri nice person and a gentleman..he is the first guy tat i hav seen willing and patiently waiting for gers to try out the clothes and i am amazed tat he know so much stuff on gers like the way gers dress and the fashion trend tat gers are following now..haha then he is giving comments on how gin jin should dress up and some other stuff.then every of us were saying tat he would be an ideal bf for gers..and nice tings is tat he help gin jin to carry her bag..haha quite sweet =p..
at 9 like tat i hav to go off liao then he sent me to the mrt station..he quite gd arh..then i feel abit guilty cos he has to leave the 3 gers behind..but he say never mind so ok loh..then b4 i go in he ask me to be careful cos its late in the nite..tis is usually wat nice guys would sae..those bo chap guys wont even sae tat loh..
also i saw celest cheong when we went out of junction 8..she damn chio and tall man..she doesnt disguise herself and was talking openly into the shopping centre but no one reali recognise her..she quite ok to me leh not reali like a gaint like wat marilyn says..
then todae the orientation juz starts..overall the class looks quite ok to me lah..gers were abit quiet..some guys quite noisy and there is a fhs guy in my class..i talk to him cos i see him so lonely then he so dao one give me onli one ans..bad sia..then joseph says i same class with shank gd wat..then i tell him is i sway man..shank also say tat he sway man same class with me..then when playing games i had to hug lulu..oh my god it is so disgusting and i am the first to hug ppl cos no one wanted to do it..aiyo pei seh man..then the guys hav to come close to u in order to occupy the ground sheet..wa lao they zhuan dao man..and i am feeling so sticky and they still come close to me..i canot tahan liao..then we had to climb the wall which is exactly like those in the army and gers hav to step on the guys hands to climb up..then i injured a guy cos the way he hold his hand is wrong..and he alone cant even supprt me loh..pls loh i veri heavy one..but i still feel bad for hurting him..but seriously the wall is veri difficult to climb esp when i am wearing skirt and i hav no strength to climb up..then shank was like saying tis and tat.. wa lao shut up lah.. and i tink i got zhao geng also..ok tat is bad but never i got wear shorts so impact not tat bad..and now i am poning ortientation with yu xian..he and me feel veri sian man..

all abt luv?

Subject:
Message:
1. are u serious when it comes to relationships?- okok lah..sometimes muz be playful abit..
2. are you afraid of commitments?- huh? how u define tat?
3. are u a risk taker?- yes.definitely.
4. what can you say abt long distance relationships?- no comment
5. can u love a person who doesnt love u?- yup tried lots of time b4
6. do actions speak louder than words?- yup..of cos
7. have u felt/found true love?- wat is true luv?
8. how can u say that a person loves you?- its veri difficult to explain in words cos its the feeling tat u can sense it..
.9. are you good in handling relationships?- duno..
10. willing to give everything? - will try my best if possible
11. best thing u've learned from loving?- one should learn to give in
12. do u demand ur love one to change into someone who pleases u? -huh duno wat u asking
13. wud u let go of some1 u love? - of cos because the person dun even like me.
14. are u a one woman/man & vice versa type of person? - tomboy lah
15. is sex important in a relationship?- siao..
16. how do u express ur love to someone?-huh..ok..i dun reali know tat cos i am too stupid
17. wat is the major reason of a break up?-lots of reason wat..eg not loyal to u..then maybe comunication problem or maybe no more feelings for each other and alot more.
18. most important ingredient in a relationship? - romance..haha..and honesty and trust..
19. ever regret loving someone?- nope
20. one thing u hate abt love?- the uncertainty of it.
21. one thing u like about love?- the joy and happiness abt being luv and like by a person..
22. worst thing u did to a love one? - not yet
27. are you a hopeless romantic? - am i?duno?
28. do you get tired of loving ?-not yet..but being a secret admirer is fun =)
29. who has changed your view about loving? - no one
30. message to your loved one?- huh..muz sae..dun wan lah..pai seh leh..haha

+ appearance
+1) your appearance.- fat pig lah.
2) what colour are your eyes.- black.
3) do u have dimples.- yup
4) what is the colour of your lip.- red lah then green meh
5) do you have braces.-nope
6) do you have healthy gums.- not sure
7) what is the colour of your hair now.- abit brown
8) is the colour of your hair natural or dyed.- dyed.
9) what is the type of hair u have.- layered with a tail.
11) must he/she have dimples. - if got better lah
12) how is his/her hairstyle.- erm..soso lah..but his hair veri nice to touch..i wan it!!!
13) must he/she fillial to his parents.- of cuz.
14) how many ex-steads should he/she have.- better not hav many cos it wont reflect well on a person
15) do you want him/her to bring you to somewhere romantic or wild- haha of cos if we are both free
16) should he/she remember your birthday- ya
17) should he/she make the relationship an open affair.- should be ok
18) should he/she be taking the initiative most of the time.- yes of cos..because i am too shy =)
19) should he/she be the bo-chap bo-chap yet faithful and loves you a lot or one who pays much attention to you yet fickle-minded but still loves you.-none. he muz chap me. muz pay attention to me.
20) should he/she give you a call/sms/msg to tell you about his day.- if possible try to..then at least i will know more abt him
+31) do you have a stead.- ya
32) describe him/her in 5 words. - i dunno what to say.
33) do you have any crushes?- ya alot but tat was in the past..
34) wat would you like to tell him/her? - juz dun break my heart if not i will be heartbroken..

~oh my god is someting wrong with me?~

oh my god..why does my heart feel so painful when i recall and know all those tings..i cant be bothered anymore and i dun wish to know anymore..recaping all these onli make my heart painful..i mean reali painful..am i suffering from heart attack? i hope not..ouch..
why arh? ok this is bad..how i wish i can stop myself from knowing but i cant cos i am too itchy hand...reali painful man..i cant take it liao..i tink i shouldnt tink anymore if not my heart canot take it then i will die..
yesterday i feel damn sad man..partly becos of the new class tat was released yesterday and i hav to be in the same class as someone i dun like cos he everytime bully me and make fun of me..and he is dirty minded and likes to scold bad words which i hate it cos i tink its crude..so pls stop it! and also i tink tat i gt pms yesterday..maybe tats explain why i am so sad and quiet yesterday..

~tIs iS WeIrD dUNo wAtS wRoNg~

yesterdae we had entrepreneur..and we hav decided to sell roses with nice packaging..i saw how they packaged and they look reali nice..but i dun reali appreciate flowers duno why maybe i am not girly enough..then after they finish packaging..there is some left over flowers so we juz brought home..i brought quite a lot of "leaves" and three roses..they look quite nice and the colour look sweet..then on our way home, a female teacher ask we all wats the occasion and she was like laughing away when i said "some left over"..isit funny? no i dun think so..then on the train lots of ppl were looking at our flowers..aiyo so pai seh..i guess tat they are tinking tat is it too early to give flowers when v day has not even reach..or perhaps they will think which guy give us one arh..i attracted the most attention than tanu cos mine is reali big..gosh..
then at the stall i was talking to alvin..he chat with me and i find tat he is a nice person except tat he talk too much..we were talking abt jjc and the ppl down there..and he asked do i hav any programs on v day and i got anything to do? then i sae duno..depends..aiya then i asked him so are u asking ur ger frien out on v day?he said i dun hav gf..then i said why u dun wan to find? he said he scared of rejection..ok i tok guys veri thick skin and brave one?do they reali scared of rejection?haha ..then he still asked do u expect ur bf to give u any flowers when ur go out? i said no..duno wat is he trying to say..ask him he also dun wan to sae..guys are weird..
then last nite when i was sleeping at abt 1.30+ i suddenly cried..duno why i suddenly feel so sad and uncertain..why do i feel tat " weird feeling" when i read tat and when i know tat wat has happen was all in the past..and why do i feel so not sure and uncertain abt my feelings..i reali duno why and there is still alot of ??? in my head..hai~~~~~~~~
then todae morning they all pon lectures and i dun wish to..i am left alone with feezah..tat is reali bad..they are retained already and why are they continuing to skip lectures..i reali dun understand..then at tat pt of time i reali miss 106 and the time i spent with them..how i wish tat i am not retained then i could be in ms ong class and with wee ping they all..at least wee ping can act as mother to give me advice and encouragement..when i am down she is always there to talk to me no manner wat..i still rmb tat day when i know tat i am retained she bought a happy meal to cheer me up though its lame..but i know tat she is trying to make me happy and i reali appreciate it..now tat the class is disbane..i duno how can i stop missing them.. =( why does tis kind of tings always happen on me? sec sch also like tat..jc also like tat..i am reali tired of this already..

tis is stupid!!!

wa lao todae i encounter an old man in the train..he is damn sickening and he is a dirty fellow old man!!! guess wat?when i was alighting the train then i was taken adv..ok i shouldnt elaborate any further cos its too disgusting and pervert!!...i wanted to shout at him but i canot cos i had to alight the train liao..and dun ever let me see him again..if not i will give him tat look...ok tats doesnt sound frightening...ok so in conclusion he is a dirty old man..i hate him!!!!

duno wat can i do =(

hai~my dad wanted me to take piano exam again tis year since last year i failed..but i dun feel sad at all..duno why..i juz sae "ok..i failed.."tis is my first time failing and tis year he give me a choice to take exam again..but i dun wan..cos i dun even like to play piano..and morever i am not up to the grade 8 standard..wat for waste money man when u know tat u cant even pass the exam at all..and tis year i reali wish to focus on my studies..i reali wan to do well for my parents to see tat at least i retained i got some gd results to show them and i wan them to stop comparing me with my brother saying tat why am i so stupid...tis is sickening..
then when i told my dad tat i dun wish to take the exam at all then he say me again..he said i am giving up my piano and all those rubbish and usual stuff again..why cant he juz stop bothering me abt all tis piano stuff..i even told him tat i dun like piano at all..but he still refused to let me forgo piano since i learned piano when i was abt 3+..which is quite young..duno wat they sae is true or not..3 years plus i cant even tink properly..dun even sae playing piano..kay watever..i also told them tat i am reali not going to teach piano when i graduate then my mum scold me..she say " waste so much money since young to nuture you to learn piano but i refuse to teach..wats the point man"
sian man i dun wan her to keep complaining abt it..tired of it liao..how i wish i can stay out of the house forever until i wish to return home..but tis is impossible..cos i cant even leave my house even on normal days..i am juz a bird tat is caged without freedom..=(

~ok tis is sian~

todae is damn sian..came to sch for 2 lessons onli..and the gp lesson is damn bored and stupid..tat miss tan (witch) asked we all to do mindmap on tsunami tingy and i see the article until my eyes damn pain and tired..then the article is quite chime to understand also..so i heck care and juz anyhow write until it look reali messy..this gp teacher damn sian one sia and bored..her voice is like so soft and she can reali blow me to sleep..tis is bad man..why all the gp teachers in yjc are a sian man..aiyo like tat how am i going to pass my gp in future..>>

~bored AND BOred~

seriously from sch reopens til now..every lessons have been bored..duno why maybe becos i know all the stuff liao..and the teacher is blowing me to sleep...reali damn sian..
and duno why i suddenly feel like should i show tis to him?? i tink tat i am reali selfish..am i?when ppl tell me their website for blog but i refused..but seriously i gave him already all the clues for the website but he still canot get it..so should i blame myself??hmm..i am reali scared tat if one day he reads tis then he will feel veri hurt and sad..but tats was the tings tat i wrote in the past..so it doesnt imply anyting now...so duno should i show him or not leh..later he veri sad then how arh..aiya this is headache man..hai~ but at least now i dun hav tat much of doubts abt him...and feel better now with him..but still i duno whether should i show or not..tis is bad..ok headache man..
aiyo then alvin juz saw me then he said " eh? u retained arh?" "ya" i said and i said tat i retained becos i fail my gp plus i didnt did well for my promos..then he said "jia you" ok tats is an encouragement for me..ya muz reali jia you liao..

~juz recapping wat was said~

past two days ac was telling me tat he felt tat sometimes have i reali cared for him?juz like that nite he has to go thailand to help those tsunami ppl and when he msg me tat nite i was sleeping..eh then so i never reply him..then he said tat the next morning i also never msg him..its onli until he msg me again..so tats why he was feelling hurt and sad..
then he also said tat "if u still duno i am still alive"..eh he said tat he was abit angry or wat and he is indirectly telling me..haha but the stupid and blur me duno tat he is trying to tell me something..so i didnt care abt it..juz to tell him to be careful cos the place is a reali dangerous..sad thing is tat one of the land rover ppl kana accident..then he died..seriously i tink tat his son and his family members is reali kelian..ya out out his kindness and he get this in return..=(
ya ..maybe wat ac is rite..mayb i am not reali caring towards him and i gave him tat heck care attitude..mayb i should start treating him better..haha

welcome year 2005 =)

sch juz starts and i have juz got a new class (T1)..all my class retainees are all in different class..tis is sian man..but overall my class is quite gd lah though they are all yuonger than me by one year..seriously i cant be bothered to talk becos anyway this class will onli last for 1 month..and i cant reali get to know a peson truely well in 1 month..so basically i am hanging everyday with iza, jabs, they all..the guys they all dun reali wan to attend the lectures except mark..he is reali damn hardworking i muz sae and dertermined..for me i still tink tat i am still abit lazy..but at least i studied as much compared to last year..and tis explains why i actually retained..
yjc orientation is so lame..its the worst orientation among the whole jcs..the games are so childish and their mass dance are totally stupid..duno why everything abt yjc is juz lame..maybe i juz dun like yj and yj is not my ideal sch..
today the surprised lecture chem test seem ok to me..maybe becos i studied during the holidays liao..tats why seem ok to me..then for tis whole two weeks classes actually finish quite early..earliest is 10am..lastest is 1.30+ like tat..tis is the earliest time tat i hav ever finish my lesson..
yesterday samuel also called me when i was buying papaya..ya actually i am reali surprised when he called me cos i tok tat after we go seperate class then we wont talk anymore..at least he is not dao..haha ya my impression of him is veri dao but never mind now i shall change my opinion of him..
afterwards i shall be going out with "A" in the evening...hope it would be a nice "outing"tis week is reali sian..i got nothing to do..even though i finish class veri early but i still dun wish to go home so early cos the moment i am at home, my mum will ask me to study and no more tv shows and all those rubbish and i am tired of it sia...so i tink i hav to study in sch and at the same time play..but seriously i hope tat 2005 would be a better year for me..juz take it tat it is a new beginning for me and everything shall goes smoothly =)

~iRriTatInG DaY!!~ (11.01.2005)

todae went out with ac to have dinner at bk at areana there..and i reach home at abt 9pm like tat and guess wat went i reach home i kana scolded again..sian man..i was having stomach cramps and my dad sae tat i was juz pretending to gain sympathy..wa lao wat the heck sia..i reali sick liao and they still saying all those sarcastic things to me..ok then they were still scolding me for coming home so late liao and still dare to eat so slow and bath so slow..ok wat ever man..i dont give a damn abt it..they scolded me from 9pm to 11pm..they reali got lots of saliva to spare man..then dad still sae tat i retained liao still duno the word "shame" and start to work hard and he said like tat i can go out to work liao no need to study so hard..and on the other hand mum sae i am a rotten apple now so there is no hope for me liao..wa lao as if i duno tat this year is a important year..as if i duno tat if i retained one more year then i would get kick out..u all thought tat i no brain isit?wat the heck...wa lao they like tat condemn me reali make me veri sad man...then dad still ask my mum to spot check my bag..and tis is the normal tings they would do..and i am tired of this already..so i would never ever put those secrets in my sch bag cos i know tat they would surely check my bag..this is the lesson i learnt and i shall never make the mistake again..then dad was also talking abt hp has cause a change in me over guys..i tink he is a bit siao up there..this is illogical resoning and bull shit loh..he is always so not the willing to open up and so old fashion..no wonder all his thinkings are so illogical and crap..further more if i would hav change i no need a hp to cause a change in me wat..my friens they all could juz influence me easily wat..so wats why i am reali reali angry and pissed off todae..they spoilt my day!!