~am i really suited for you~

ytd nite was really a depressing nite to survive through..cos firstly i was very upset over him liao..after tat reached home mum keep scolding this and tat and it got me even more frustrated..and yes i was bloody angry..and ytd i really tried controlling my temper cos its alrdy late in the nite liao..i dun wan quarrel and disturb the neighbours cos if we were to quarrel, i am certain tat everyone in the blk can hear us..so fine i let her scold all she wans..while i was crying all alone in the room..i duno why i cant stop crying ytd either..i guess i was really very upset..the worst thing is i cried for 3hrs plus here and there until my eyes got really sollwen..and yes i knew tat i was very bad ignoring all his calls.initally i off my hp cos i knew he would certainly call me..but ltr i decided not to be so mean treat him so badly..so i decided to switch on my hp and i am sorry if he called me over 40+ calls for 2hrs plus consecutively and i ignored all his calls..i was feeling real upset tt time..dun feel lik taking up his calls...i was tinking am i really suited for u?? perhaps i am too dumb for you??perhaps u should find a smarter gf??perhaps i needa a more patient guy who can love me more than i love him?? or rather should i choose someone i dun like?? at least i wont be hurt in any way?? i dun wan go bac to the old times where i take the guy for granted and regret eventually..so i chose to be with someone i like rather than someone who like me..i am tired seriously..i just wanna get away from all these..just leave me alone..mum keep irritates me with peanuts issues and it makes me bloody pissed and angry..relationship wise i always feel tat he oftens get v pek chek wif me..ok mayb i admit tat most ppl will get pek chek wif me under these circumstances..but i guess i needa more time to learn and it will take very slow..i wonder down the road if we were to walk down the marriage will you be very pek chek wif me?? i have many things tat i duno and i cant even do simple things..by then will you find tat i bring u more of mafan rather than bring you love??? i guess no one knows..although u say tat u will change..but this is something tat i am very sensitive to..i get hurt by ppl easily..haiz..i am tired alrdy..dun wish to tink anymore..today early in the morning mum quarrelled wif me again..and i am seriously very very tired of it alrdy..i dun feel like gg home anymore..she took my atm card away cos i just refused to get bac my ic to her..seriously she is just damn childish...i just wanna stay out of this hse !!!!!!!!!!!!! wat the fuck i am seriously tired of ur nonsence..i wan to get out of this hse one day once i earn enough money..hai~ i am really tired alrdy..bf pls leave me alone for a moment..i am stil hurt by u ytd..i guess i will be ok after a while..