~why cant i have a happy family?? ~

         monday interview wasnt what i really wanted too. Firstly company was small and there isnt much staff.. Another thing is its location is super ulu at TUAS and i feel like i am totally out of place when i used to work in a CBD area and now i am desperate til dun mind working in the industrial area..honestly its not what i really want but the company ask me come for second interview though for the HR opening. But i failed the buyer interview cos the interviewer say my experience not enough.. Man i spend one whole day reading up on supply chain lo and indeed its not easy to spot the interview questions that they ask..alot of them are actually scenario qns like: " if all three suppliers are good, how do you know which one to choose ?? " this qn really stumbled me cos i no experience of cos wont know what to do. So i anyhow say bo bian..but for HR wise, since msot of which i have done it before, but perhaps just expanding what i did previously for oil and gas.. Actually now, i feel really demoralised looking for jobs. Find and Find but hard to get a job that i want.. ;(


         and tues was rotting day for me cos was tired after a consecutive days of preparing for interviews.. and yesterday went out with dear and bro came along to join in for lunch at wild honey.. and i was feeling very depressed yesterday after i came home..i was asking myself why cant i have a happy family whereby everyone respect one another.. Mum totally dun respect me at all. My bro wants a personal room by himself, she give him, but when i want she dun let..what sort of reasoning is this ?? its obvious that my mum is biased and she favour my bro over me..just becos my bro is smarted and his career next time is more or less confirmed working in the govt sector liao..in fact his career will only sore higher being a scholar but people like me continued to remain unemployed..


         My bro attitude is rude and arrogant but mum has to choice but to boot lick him cos all her future lies in him..she rely on him to get her citizhenship now, also next time he is sure to earn alot so she will defintely stand to gain..and this is what i hate about her..yesterday threw so much of my stuff away and i told her countless times not to touch my room stuff when i repeatedly shouted and screamed at her..i really felt very tired and going crazy soon until yesterday midnight i really shout damn loud and scream like a crazy women cos she really blew my top liao..i am always very nice and well tempered..never got angry except she making me pissed..she really dun respect people stuff..people stuff is rubbish and gargage but her stuff is precious like stones..seriously if she pissed me off one day, i will throw away all her favourite stuff and let her know the feeling of losing her favourite things..

         she kept on saying that we 3 singaporeans keep bullying her as a foreigner but we really dun have such intention.. i never even tink of her being a foreigner..is she ownself think too much..and when we say she has some mental illness liao ask her to see doc but she say we are crazy..all the symptoms already show signs that she is siao -over possess over cleaniess..

           seriously why cant i have a happy family..All i want is peace and a happy family who gives me warmth..why cant i feel that in my family?? why is it that whenever i comes home, i feel sad and angry?? sometimes i really ask myself when can i get out of this house and live with dear even if i dun get married?? i cant stand it already..she is just too much..i really family warmth, not a battle field who always quarrel everyday.. maybe thats the reason why i always go home late and goes out of home early..i never want to stay at home cos of her :( i really hope one day she will changed