~sick~

i have been seriously veri sick for many days le..had fever on sat, which is christmas eve, so i cant go the bbq..i guess i have fever becos the day b4 i went for running even though i know tat i am sick already..til now i still haven recover..yesterday i still eat lots of chilli and heaty food until know i still got cough and sore throat..sigh..i feel veri tired and sick now..

~finally~

I have finally finished the hw..finally..currently I am doing revision for my blog test which is coming 3rd week of jan..sigh..test and test..i guess canot even get to enjoy during the Chinese new yr..oh man, sch is starting reali soon..in 1 and a half week time..this is so sian..once sch reopens I canot get to wake up late le, no more time to watch tv..it seems tat j2 stuff are reali difficult cos I have flip through some of it and it seems tat I duno everything..ya and tat’s bad..seriously my parents are worried tat will I be able to go university or not even though I retained 1 yr cos I quite stupid and slow mah..actually I am also abit scared..duno if I can managed to survive j2 or not..
My dad was talking to me yesterday abt all those Chinese history..actually I was veri sian, didn’t bother to listen cos I am not interested to listen all these history cos I dun like history..i reali hate history during my sec sch..anyway I just came to know tat my dad was from hwa chong..no wonder his Chinese and literature so gd and his knowledge is also veri gd..those physic and chem stuff he also know, but using Chinese onli..my dad is so smart, but why I dun get his brain arh..hmmm..instead its my brother who got it, instead I got my mum’s one..no wonder I so stupid and slow..
This sat is Christmas eve..sigh..reali hope can spend the day with someone I like..but it seems tat its not possible..i guess I always like to fantasias but I know tat it will not happen..this sat got bbq..also duno if I wan to go or not cos I got a sore throat duno if I can still eat all those food or not..and moreover yh isn’t confirm if she wants to go or not..if I am going alone, then I guess I dun wan to go le..but I have prepared a present for exchange..seriously if a guy get my present will be sway cos the present is not meant to be for guys..i reali duno wat can I get so tat I can accommodate to both guys and gers..but I hope I dun get chocolates..i am in need of a watch now cos the other one spoil liao..actually I reali like my previous watch but if I change everthing, it will not worth the money..so now I hope I can get a watch for Christmas..actually my house got one Mickey mouse watch and is veri cute, but I cant be use, tat’s so sad..
Tonight I am going to meet Christine and zhi xuan at her church..she sae got prepare games..wonder wat kind of games is it..hopefully its not those lame games..i guess there will be food also.. hopefully there will be turkey and log cake for me to eat..haha..

~trapped~

~trapped~
somehow last few days I feel trapped..duno why..sigh, I guess onli I can help myself, nobody else can help me..not even eating medicine can cure the sickness of my heart..sigh~~~seriously tat few days I also why suddenly I will feel like tat, do u know why?actually me myself also duno..
lately I have been veri crazy on those fake nails designs cos lately it is quite trendy..but it cost more than $30 for both hands..tat’s reali veri costy and ex..i always look but never buy cos I think abit not practical, it can onli be worn on days when u need not have to do anything..
recently I have got a new idol..tat show luo reali veri shuai and humourous..whenever I watch his show, I will always laugh..haha..
last wed intended to bid for the comp in ntu cos my brother’s friend ask him if he wants then he bid for us..we wanted to bid for it but my mum just refused to let us buy cos she sae 1 comp per household is enough already..morever it will occupy lots of space..then me and my brother veri angry with her becos my brother’s friend bid for $105 for the entire comp system, lowest so far is $70 and he is the so called “main organier “of this bid..tat’s why he is pro..wa lao LCD screen sia, I have wanting to get one already but I find it too ex tat’s why I dun wan to buy..plus there is rewriteable CD drive, and I dun have..its all my mum’s fault for not letting us buy..some more we are not asking her to pay for us, we wanted to use our money to pay for it..my dad also never sae anything..he sae whether we want to buy is up to us..when went ntu on fri to eat dinner since I was so free..my brother brought me to the office..it seems tat working over there seems quite gd sia..their sitting arrangement like those teacher’s office arrangement like tat..they give me the idea tat they are more like teacher..
nowadays keep feeling fed up becos got lots of things dun understand..then ask my brother to teach me then he keep asking conditions from me and I get fed up veri fast cos relai not mood to play with him, I just want to finish everything as fast as possible so tat I can dump my hw aside..cos reali sickening sia, from holiday til now I am still doing my hw..and I am starting to hate phy now cos currently we are studying on electricity..oh my god I reali hate tat, tat is my lousiest topic during sec sch..
wan yi confirm has a bf le..actually reali surprised cos tat time I was still guessing if I am right or not..then now confirm by somenore, tat means I am right..they sae he quite gd looking ..no wonder tat time I saw her msn nick saying “my life wouldn’t be complete without u..”starting from tat time I started to feel weird abt her..seriously she doesn’t look like she want to have bf cos last time she not like tat, she always sae sae but she is not serious abt wat she sae..tats why tat’s make me so surprised..anyway I reali curious how the guy look like..but one thing is tat she didn’t post her bf picts online so I duno is which one..last time in my sec sch, I still rmb tat I always have a nick in irc tat sae”my luv for u will never change..”but the guess the guy didn’t know abt it..actually thinking of it reali feel stupid..in the end I also fall in luv with another guy when I was in my 2004 jc1..aiya somehow I feel this kind of thing wont last..after a long time when both parties dun contact and see each other, feelings will tend to be lesser liao or even up to no feelings le..wei jie and yin mei are togther AGAIN..this is my duno how many times I hear them break liao then patch bac..it seems tat my sec sch mates couples indeed last veri long liao..i guess should be abt 2 yrs liao..time flies reali fast, wondered when will I hear tat both yh and maril will get a bf..i reali look forward tat..haha..actually howadays reali never contact with them le, I guess we different sch, abit hard to talk to each other..
then I was watching a dance show ..seriously the ending was sad, the guy has a changed of heart for another ger..intially he like both gers, but since he can onli choose one, he chose to break up with his gf..seriously tat’s veri sad and I feel tat it’s the most cruel fact to accept if I were her I will also do the same thing and cry..i reali dun wish to happen such things on me in any part of my life..seeing the guy together with another ger will onli break my heart..even though the outer side doesn’t show tat I care, but actually the inner side of me saes tat I do care..actually tat sounds contradicting..but I just dun wan the guy to know tat I still care for him..tat is just my theory for luv..
my brother was telling me tat his friend tok tat I am his gf..seriously I was laughing cos pls loh who will like this pimple face guy with attitude problem..lohz..
next thur will be going for Christmas party..reali look forward tat..

~some thoughts on christmas..~

My mum nowadays seems like is less strict with me..nowadays shenever I tell her tat I want to go out, she didn’t sae anything, instead so far this yr, she let me go out whenever I sae I want to go out..this is suprising cos its not like her..somehow I feel she suddenly so gd is becos this yr my results quite satsifactory..maybe gd results equals to can go out..ya, I will study hard for next yr so tat at least I get gd grades then she wont bother me and wash her hand off me..
Yh was asking me so random qns abt whether will I like pw eye’s candy (eg)my ans is of cos no, becos first thing there isn’t sort of attraction and chemistry between us..without all these liking for the other party couldn’t preceed on..actually I never thought seriously whether will I like younger guys or not..haha..this Christmas reali hope can spend wonderful time with my pri gd friend and her “strangers friends”..every week there will be ppl to ask me wether I want to go church or not, then I hear until veri sian…anyway this time I decided to turn up becos its at a different church…maybe this church will give me another different experience..another reason is tat I never see her for half a yr le, maybe should come out to chat and talk abt out troubles..i have been staying veri late on every wed cos I am watching some “knowledge shows” on sex..haha..this program doesn’t provide me much knowledge cos they sae things veri superficial and they also never demonstrate of cos I dun understand wat they trying to sae..maybe tat program is meant for adults, not meant to be watched by kids..i always chey after the program cos its reali chey and nothing much..last time, they still ask me to buy those dirty VCD to watch, but I dun dare and I dun wan, i rather go movie to watch once I reach 21..tat would be a wiser choice..haha..
Actually I felt tat Christmas and V day is a nice, sweet and romantic days for couples..it would be nice to spend the day with someone u like..provided there musnt be any ppl to disturb them..actually this yr, I hope can spend Christmas at marina bay or the mount faber there, or somewhere near the merlion statue, then with fireworks on, then tat would just brighten the whole atmosphere..this yr did happen lots of unhappy things and happy things also..but comparing the weightage, unhappy things outweigh happy things..sigh~~~it seems like I also duno wat to do now, I just have to wait and see how..next yr will be a veri tough yr for me, I need to work extra hard..duno if I got the will to strive tat long or not..it would be nice and gd to have someone to encourage and motivate me to study..then at least I wont slack so much..time spent on comp also need to reduce liao cis dun think got so much time to do bo liao things on net liao, which I always do..hai~~
This few days do hw until crazy sia..reali veri sian leh..

~long time never blog~

hmm...i have been watching a dance show and actually now i think i feel like learning how to dance cos its just veri nice cos they dance veri gracefully..but hor remebering tat time the guy sae tat i am his worst dance partner, then it reali shut me off..anyway i am always veri stone, cant blame me..haha..but i wont like dancing with guys cos i will feel veri uncomfortable..
i am invited to a christmas party on 22..seriously tat day has to dress up until veri chio, if not will be veri pei seh..still duno wat present to give also..hi~~headache..
thur went to ntu to eat.. plus some reason which i dun wan to sae..then tat day saw my brother senior, wa she veri auntie, but i tell my brother not to tell her..haha i am veri bad..then after tat went to the library sercretly cos by right outsiders are not supossed to enter..anyway tat day i was looking for comp to play but they all need password!!!!!!so i end up standing using the search computer, but tat time alot of ppl looking then i veri pei seh, so faster zhao liao..
after this i realised tat maybe fate doesnt exist..i sitted there so long but nothing happens..hai~~~just admit to fate..
todae went dental with my brother, dad and yh..yh didnt like my brother cos she feels tat he veri irritating and ah gua..anyway todae saw alot of handsome dentists..weird why todae i never kana them..haha..next week gona be abit slack..sch going to start soon in 2 to 3 weeks time..sian..

~johor and chalet

Sat went to johor..this time spent a lot of money near to $100..spent lots of mney on food and abit on clothes and shoes..tat day when we stepped into malaysia, we have to wait for a long queue , waiting to chalk our passport..then one stupid china guy was standing behind me and was scolding vulgarities..so I join my brother in another queue which is shorter..then he follow me and cut my queue and suddenly he became in front of us..wat the hell..i was veri bu shuang loh..other ppl cut my queue I wont mind but I see him veri bu shuang so I mind..i was cursing him behind my bac..duno why he kept turning bac to look at me..i guess maybe I scold him too loudly liao ..i was thinking “see wat see, never see ger b4 isit?lousy..”my brother was saying tat he was trying to take advantage of us cos we are young ppl and most probaaly we wont sae anything if he cuts our queue..anyway I feel tat there quite complicated..i dun feel secured when I stepped into the country..beggers over there look reali pathetic and scary cos of their face..they will pester u until u are veri scared..i still rmb the same begger tat last time I seen..actually I quite pity them but I reali scared of the,..tat time when we are eating, an Indian begger came to us and keep asking us to give money to him but we didn’t and ignored him..i think he is more like an alcoholic drinker..anyway the conditions of beggers in Singapore is better..
One thing is they are not honest in doing business esp the money changer ppl..wa lao initially I changed some amt for certain money..after tat I went the sec time on the same day to change again, the price change again..it became lower this time..it just dun tally with wat it was written on the board..and I feels tat most of the ulu ulu shopsholders tends to increase the price once they see we are chinese..its just super obvious loh..we are going to buy a belt and shoes for my borhter and we asked for the price since there si no price tag..he thought for veri long and pls loh, shopholders should know the price veri well..its obviously he is trying to earn some extra money through us and cheat our money..those food stallholders also..one satay cost how much also must think so long..some more tat stall onli sell one thing onli..it cant be tat difficult to rmb the price ba..and these ppl dun understand end at all..talk to them in English they dun understand, so my mum has to speak to him in malay and I down there veri blur..and there is this malay guy in the shoe shop super gd looking…he still tok we can speak malay so h e spoke to us in malay but I dun understand..but at least he not so bad, he understand abit of English..
And tat day some ppl were carrying guns and rifles on the streets..oh my god, its just so scary..they dun look like policemen leh cos all are wearing different attire..and tat day 3 malay gers were standing in front of the escalators and they keep draggin my dad to sit down at one place..at first I still duno wat they want, still tok they just want to ask my dad to sit down to makan cos tat place coffee shop mah..but after tat, my dad told me everything..they are actually so call prostitues..pls loh, they so ugly, still want to seduce my dad..if I guy give me free I also dun want ..i see their face also want to puke and turn off liao..
That nite dinner we ate at the stalls whereby can move near and there, duno call wat lah, but its not veri practical leh, cos tat day wa dizzling and made the whole day veri disgusting and dirty until I got no appetite..
Chalet was quite ok..most of my ex classmates did turn up except for majority of our ex retainees did not turn up partlt becos of a reason..ma and shank did turned up..somehow I felt abit extra cos afterall they have graduated and they can relaxed all they want but I cant reali slacked totally..and shank smoked tat day..seriously it stinks..reali dun understand why he want to smoke..i long time never see wee ping they all liao..they went to rebond their hair..somehow its look neater..they sae tat I have slimmed down..haha..actually I quite happy but still I am big size,,tat’s a fact tat wont change..i am targeting to flatten my stomach by doing crunches everyday so tat at least it wont look flabby..i am also exercising quite a lot during this holiday..seriously my aim now is to reach 48 to 50 kg then I veri happy liao..tat day also marinated chicken and think its quite fun cos like massaging the chicken like tat..haha..then tat dat super sway loh cos me and tanu was asked to take the bicycle bac cos got not enough ppl to carry them bac..then it started raining halfway through when we are cycling in the dark..seriously tat day I didn’t bang into anything..i think maybe there is nobody in front of the track so I need not turn here and there..but I am specially scared when I reached the downhill slope cos its just super fast and veri hard to control..last yr becos of this I bang into a tree and in turn rasyidah banged into a lamppost becos of me..felt veri guilty tat time cos afterall she got injured becos of me..anyway tat time I ride super fast cos I didntwan to get drenched..the couple still slowly take their time to cycle slowly bac even though its raining already..the ger sat in front of the guy and he slowly cycled bac..i guess partly its not a 2 rider seat, afterall its not easy to balance..actually when I see tat, I felt tat it was quite sweet and romantic..moreover it was raining and was in the nite..then tat ger also watch her bf swim..actually it would be nice to see ur bf swim without clothes on but must provided tat the guy’s body musnt look disgusting..tat day didn’t have a proper dinner cos me and tanu was rushing home cos I didn’t wan to go homw veri late cos I am scared going homw alone late in the midnite..tat day I never receive a single call from my mum which is veri surprising..first time in my entire life she didn’t call me cos its was late in the nite already..afterall I felt weird cos first time she didn’t rush me home..
Many of my friends are giving their bks to me..oh my god, its just so many, wondered if I can feed all these into my brain during the As or not..somehow I felt tat my ex classmates are more untied as a class, compared to my current class..i wasn’t veri close to them cos afterall this yr they take pw and I dun..so we didn’t reali get to mixed tat much..many at times, we wasn’t aware tat there is class outing cos no one told us..even though there is class outing, not many turn up, I guess..their class outing was just movie, I guess..they didn’t reali orgainsed big outing, such as chalet or wat, so tat ppl can reali mixed and interact with each other..afterall I felt more attached to my ex classmates..
Yi jie is applying to be a relief teacher for the next few months..actually I am abit shocked cos didn’t expect him to be a teacher cos he always scold vulgar and sae all those pervert things..dun think he is those gd role model teacher..if I see him in those teacher’s clothes, I confirm will laugh out..at home he act guai in front of hie mum, but once he is on sch, he became a different person..anyway teacher reali tat gd meh?
Sigh, I still got so many hw haven finished..atcually I think I watched too much tv liao le..but I canot stopped leh cos somehow I got addicted to it already, I everyday much watch the 7 and 9 o’clock show..tues still need to meet a guy friend..actually he quite gd lah, initially I intended to come somewhere near his house to get those stuff but he said he will come my house there, so I will save alot of energy to carry all those heavy stuff le..and next sat still need to go dental..oh my god, reali got so many things to do..