~kind of sad??~

sat nite went out with yh and yw to vivo..yup, quite sian arh when i reach there 1.5hrs earlier cos yw didnt tell me abt the last min changes.i wasnt angry with him but just dun like ppl to be like tat..once a while is ok, but dun always did it on me or else, i will reali get angry one..tat day, he was kind of guilty for forgetting to tell me abt the changes, so he treated us anything below $100..yup, there too much restaurants until we duno wat to choose, eventually ate "ben and jerry"..wa, super nice man especially the ice cream tat yw ordered-the banana split..later went to play pool, his treat too but i didnt play much cos i dun like playing such things and i duno how to play also.saw a no of yj ppl and wan yi too..she didnt changed much, still look the same..the scenery outside vivo is nice esp the open space where there are lots of benches, where opp is sentosa..haha, gd place to go for dating cos its quite romantic..as we are strolling, there are reali indeed alot of couples sitting on the wooden platform..
dad was saying past few days tat he wont object me to have a bf as long as he is decent, but mum still object cos she sae tat she dun like me to have a bf when i am still studying..but wat's the pt of saying all these now, if 2 yrs bac, they were to sae this, probably i would try ways to salavage the relationship, but it is all history now and it is not longer possible no matter how much i wish to try..i dun have a choice to choose at tat time..so i choose to give up, rather than to face the obastacles ahead of us..
mon went to interview at cycle and carriage cos JT friend (ming wei) intro me a job over there to do admin work..yup, the sad part is cm got in but i didnt got in..i wasnt reali veri sad, just alittle bit sad onli..i wasnt veri veri sad cos i expected it cos i talk nothing when tat ryan ask me to talk aby myself and i said the wron gthings tat shouldnt be said when tat lady interviewed me..i didnt expect the interview to be like tat, so open ended qns..if i have known tat, i would do some research for the interview cos i always flock my interview..tat ryan is reali observant man, he asked why am i always holding on to my bag,,obviously, i am panic and nervous and he sae can see i have no confidence at all..he sae i look pretty worried of abling to meet the duties required..yup, tat;s just me, i am hyst worried tat i canot meet their requirements cos whatever they sae i also dun understand, everything just sound so chime to me and i have never study those stuff tat they are talking abt before..and wat the hell is marketing all abt???i reali have vague ideas abt it..it seems tat i canot connect with the outside society..tat ryan is relai veri charming man, initally i dun think so, but after the interview i was electrocuted by him..haha..both me and cm are some sort crazy abt him..i was veri scared when he look into my eyes for long time during the interview so i keep turning my eyes away from his eyes..haha, dun wan to be electrocuted by him..he look relai fierce when he dun smile and look super serious..however, he look veri charming and cool when he smiles.tat's the part why i had a slight interest in him, suddenly want to know more abt him, cos his smile captured my attention..haha, but he is too old for me and i dun have the chance to work there too, hard to know him also..the interview doesnt seems like interview at all cos i tseems tat i am more of chatting with him cos i set the wrong tone in the first place..more like friend-friend tone..when he ask me wat are my goals, seriously i have no idea abt it..so i cant ans him on the spot..wat i wan to study i also duno..it reali depends how well i did for my A levels then i can decide wat i can take.when he ask me and cm to go into the interview room, he looked at me again, this time to tell me tat the lady wants to hire cm instead of me..he asked me if i am ok or not twice cos he sae i suddenly so quiet when outside the room i kept talking non stop to cm..haha, he veri cute lah, then i sae ok la..yup, did smile bac too cos i see him so cute.then he reali smile bac and laugh too..serioulsy he look relai charming when he smile, why must always put up with tat serious and fierce look mah..i guess he is laughing secretly at us for making a fool of ourselves when we answered the qns wrongly..he was sort of suaning me when i said my hope is to be a fashion designer..then he suan me bac saying tat my neckacles and earings dun match at all..so i give him tat look, in a joking way, then he kept quiet.he was veri unfriendly and zuai initally but after tat i think he is actually ok, but he dun think so..but seriously, i wan to know more abt this guy, duno why also.some guys i am just not interested to know anything abt them, but he is an exception..hmm..why arh?cant find an ans to it also..both cm and i cant take our eyes off those shuai ge when they walk past..haha..
now, i got a job next week at moe to do data entry for 1 to 2 weeks.but after tat i will be jobless again cos they onli need me for 1 to 2 weeks.even though previosulyi wanted theis job badly but looking bac, i think the cycle and carriage is better..at least i can learn more things and can gain more experience..at this pt of time, i wan to earn some money to pay for my laptop and gain some experiences and learn more new things tat i never learn before in sch.now, i think its abit not practical to do data entry cos u wont learn much from there, although i think this job is much easier to do..maybe i need challenges to build my confidence , so tat i can be a stronger ger and a confident ger..
later i am meeting up with maril, long time since i last seen her..i are going for a job interview..duno gd or not, but why not just go there and see loh..better than jobless, no money to feed our mouth..