ytd i was online the entire day from 2 pm til 10 plus..8hrs online reali make my eyes quite painful..somewat i gt lots of things to do online..searching the net for music scores for my student..dl songs..blah blah..now i am going to plan my timetable...haiz..ytd i was reali emo man..i felt total emptyness in me..duno why..its either i am just too bored or i just feel tat i have nothing to do to keep me occupied..haiz..i relai dun like this kind of feeling as in nothing to keep me occupied..i think i reali need to find a job soon by hook or by crook cos i seriously cant stone around nuahing and doing nothing..i need to do real stuff..and partly ytd i was emo becos last min my schedule have to change..so many ppl last min pang seh cant meet up..that means i am even more free..but then now i also have to study for the test,,quite sian actually..the textbk they lend me reali damn thick seh..i almost wan to fall asleep reading through it.
ytd i thought through lots of stuff..cos reali nothing to do so will random think ma..i have been thinking maybe my new theory reali doesnt work..so afterall its still better to revert bac to my old way of thinking..or perhaps time is a factor? i dun know reali man..it seems tat i have been doing too much or rather putting too much effort..perhaps i should reali have tat heck care attitude like wat i have in the past..sometimes i reali regretted the decisions i made..i shouldnt be so fussy in the past man..i should be contented with wat i have..but now its reali too late for regrets le la..its gone and reali far reached from me now..haiz haiz..
i am seriously damn bored man..later still need to teach piano..actually i gt lots of activities in mind right now, but then it seems tat no one is free..and now i have to tink of wat to get for him as his bday present le cos i dun wan give ppl a lousy present..maybe i reali wan to bake a cake for him for his bday..but then i going to buy those reali make kind..hehe..start from scratch would be totally impossible with me,..
at least today i feel somewat better le...duno why..i hope tml will be a better day..tat tues after exam hm asked me a very gd qn..i also duno how to say and ans her also cos even me myself also uncertain abt the ans..like wat i say i am getting tired le as time goes by..like wat i always say i dun have unlimited battery life..sooner or later my battery life will run out and by the time i will just bid gd bye though the outcome might not wat i want..sad to say last time it reali did happen..somewat i still prefer him..no one else can reali replace him..is it my expectations too high or am i just picky? aiya i also duno la..sometimes i will think of him occasionally but its no use..i think my heart is just pretty empty now..i need to find things to entertain me and keep me busy..so i wont be thinking of al these..
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