~should i go or not to go~

mon nite ken told me tat most of our clique ppl tio china for our overseas work and study..initally i really dun have high hopes cos afterall my results arent tat gd at all. but i actually gt a chance to go there sia..but then now qn is the money tat i need to pay is kinda alot and i will confirm be much poorer after i come bac from this china trip..and i am really scared tat i will left alone to survive over there if let's say all my clique ppl are all dispersed to diff state of china..although there are also students from our sch tat are going there, but everything need to start from sratch lo..everything need to begin from making friends and adapting to their culture and lifestyle..dad is supportive of me going, but mum not really cos in her opinion, its wasting money..aiya to me, its not the money issue, its more of exploring the world and gaining insights and experiences..haiz so now actually i am abit scared too la..although my heart really keen to go there..

then wed nite went for cca interview wif jy..seriously i tink its damn sian to study everyday..and i onli left 2 yrs to study in sch, so i must maximise the remaining 2 yrs student life..hopefully they will accept me, but then the stupid interviewer didnt ask me much qns when he asked so much qns towards the freshie..wa lao so does it indirectly means tat i am alrdy no chance since he didnt ask me much..haiz...then outdoor ODAc, i am actually quite keen but no one wants to go wif me..go alone damn sian one..i rather not go like tat..haiz lately have been quite emo and somewat feels tat i am kinda a loner man..other than shopping and sch work it seems tat i have nothing to do..and ytd jy asked me if i do envy those couples..i told him of cos i envy la..cos afterall i am graduating soon in 2 yrs and i haven found a suitable candidate and this is bad la..so he say i should perhaps lower my standard..but in the first place, i always think tat my standard isnt tat high wat..actually to me as long as the guy is nice to me, i am ok wif it..but most of them will tink that i go for looks, which is not true la..although most of the time i usually look at those shuai ge..but look is look ma, most of the time i only admire them, but admiring and loving a person is diff..so yeah many ppl have a wrong perception of the guys tat i like..


anw tmr is a public holiday..time to catch up wif all my lagging online lect..sian max ! and nxt mon will be meeting playmate..its been months since we last meet up le..hmm where should we go man..