~my mind is very luan now ~

2 days alrdy and i have yet to study much.die ! I kept on sleeping..wa lao at this rate, how am i going to finish..die..totally damn scared this sem..cos it seem tat this sem i keep on dreaming..and these 2 days i was very distracted by the news tat they wanna opt out of our china IA trip..haiz initally i wasnt much affected as i was very calm, but when i was alone studying halfway through, my mind just couldnt stopped worrying and being fearful..but i guess i really hope at least one of them would continue to go the trip wif me..though i know 90% its unlikely..sigh..the ytd the sch office called me and said tat i was selected for the loreal interview.to me, it was gd news cos i wanted to enter this company compared to the rest of companies in suzhou.but then the issue is no one tat i knew is going to suzhou..most of them ended up in shanghai..haiz..i really scared staying in a foriegn land when i have no one to approach to when i have problems..i need at least one friend so tat i wouldnt feel fearful.i doubt its hard to describe wat i am feeling now..REALly..going overseas to study and work has always been my dream, dad is very supportive of it even despite knowing tat i have no friends coming wif me..mum was kinda against it, cos she feels unsafe..ok from her point of view i can understand how she feels...for me, i also equally scared wat..its half a yr leh..i duno wat is going to happen to me over there..i might get killed over there if i am suay max..who knows..who knows there might disasters then i would lose my life over there..all these are really uncertain..i dared nt say all these to my parents so tat they wouldnt worry much for me..but inside me, i really did think through alot..agnes and yh kept on telling me not to forgo this trip cos its really a rare opportinuity..yeah i tink so, but in the first place, i must convinced myself first tat i will be happy over there.i need alot of assurance too ! i am just scared tat i have no one to approached to when i have problems over there..i guess even an independant person like me really do have my weak side, though i appear to be strong pretty much..but eventually at the end of the day, i still hope at least one of them would change their mind and continue the trip wif me. if i am really alone, i am sure to freak out..honestly, today i cried over there cos was kinda upset over this issue, but i guess i shall keep myself busy for now.shouldnt worry abt this til exams end..haiz.