things have been going well so far so gd..our dept partner's dinner went pretty smoothly and being the stage presenter to give out prizes though quite stress, but afterall it was a good experience because i doubt i will ever get a chance to give out prizes again with our CEO. Well, so it was indeed quite a memorable one although i was quite reluctant to be the stage presenter cos everyone will be shooting at you and i dun like that attention. After which went out to chill out with my colleagues and eye candy somehow came along too :) that night all of us had a great gathering at dempsy having ben and jerry ice cream. And i got to know my eye candy better. Overall that night was really enjoyable and happy because we colleagues rarely get to mix after work. Since this event brought us together, i felt really happy chilling out with them. Such nights are rare so i do cherish these happy moments.
And Thur was a beautiful dream for me. Dont feel like waking up from that dream at all, but well, i guess wonderful memories always come to a stop. He jio me come back office that random thur to catch a show and since i am free and i am also going out, i agreed since its quite some time since i last saw him too. Actually when we were at the entrance stopped waiting to check our tickets, i was really scared to be recognised by other staffs because i was tagging behind him. In the first place, i shouldnt be seen mixing with him, but somehow this makes the whole process exciting and thrilling. The thrilling part is : not to let staffs that we know each other and everything have to be secret. Although that 40 min show didnt talk much, but it feels like a dream to me somehow. :( A dream that i wouldnt want to wake up from because i really enjoyed that moment. Actually i am not certain if i want him to stay far away from me or i hope he can talk to me..heart and mind just confused...
Friday was kinda a sad day for me becos of the appraisial that my manager gave me. It seems that i have deproved for my performance, which i find it unreasonable because i am doing more things and i am marked based on student MCQ post scores? little improvement from the students indirectly means that i cant teach? All these are the things that she inferred just on the student marks.seriously i dun find them justifiable. Although i know that i might not be a good teacher who can teach, but i am certain that i have improved. Thus, that day i was really upset after seeing how she grade me. But i was glad that my bff chatted with me and give me the moral support. Suddenly felt less depressed after chatting with him. At least he understands me...he seen how much effort i put in previously but just that my manager didnt see it. He is the only guy colleague that seen me crying previously when i failed my teaching assessment for 2 times. I think i just cant be a teacher. I guess i am just hoping to move on. However, not really sure if i se de leave this workplace. i kind of like this environement already. Or i dun want to leave for other reasons? I really hope that there will be calls soon.Whether i wan to leave or not after confirmed for a job, i will decide later. All i hope for now is to get some shortlisting.
Mind is confused now.Hope to clear it soon ! suddenly too many things happening at one time :(
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