maths have been failing, serious this time ever since this month..not sure why either..duno how should i tell my mum either..tat's is reali bad..sigh..then todae test, got abt 10 never do at all..so probably will fail again just becos i got no time to finish the paper..chem wise reali veri veri lost during tutorial..mr chua still sae "never do ur tutorial arh.."luckily he said tat veri softly, if not will be veri pei seh..how arh>??canot be every time also dun understand rite??like tat confirm will be like wat i used to be when i am in my 2004 j1..totally blur on wat he says..sigh..seriously i am veri worried abt tat now..its my onli concern now..
weekend reali busy again..as usual..hw and more hw..test and more test to go..this wed heard they getting their results le..seriously i hope tat everyone will do well, hopefully i dun see anybody crying away..seriously i understand the feelings abt how they feel even though i didnt take the exams with them last yr..actually i do feel worried and panic for them too..when i am getting my O levels results, me too was veri worried, but tat day i was reali veri upset cos i did super bad, so tat's explain why i am here..tat time i decided to leave sch alone, not even telling my friends tat i am leaving cos i am just too upset to talk to anyone liao..tat time they still ask we all to take picts for the reporter together as a class cos the top scorer came from my class..and its just amazing tat fhs just established can come out with so gd results..anyway tat's was the past le..so gd luck to my friends on wed =)
lately came to know abt a teacher- student relationship..and i was pondering abt this topic lately tat should it be allowed??actually i do find it disgusting to hear tat..anyway shouldnt comment so much, as long as they happy can liao..maybe they believe tat true luv exist between them..
Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
~something tat reali upset me~
todae i was quite upset by the fact tat we heard something tat was not nice abt us, i think..not sure if wat we have inferred are correct or not, but high chance it is..sigh..is it tat once we make a mistake, ppl will forever think tat u are always bad?cos somehow i do feel tat..sigh..
todae during pc period had a try out of wat interview is like..oh my god, seriously its veri difficult to ans esp when i see my ade and yi guang so gd in protraying themselves..was veri stress then, couldnt ans a single question posed by them..david sounded veri confident..seriously if i am the one getting interviewed by him, i will feel veri scared, cos he look like those fierce boss and the way he speaks reali veri gd..but too bad i am bad at speaking..and i find tat my current cca has nothing to sae abt..reali..questions was asked on this and i was pondering how should i ans when it seems tat i haven done anything, except going there to talk and do the bac stage stuff..die man, now then i realised tat how important cca are..
this few days have been spending lots of money on clothes, practically shopping for clothes once i finish sch this few days, so i am quite broke now, cos my mama never pay for the clothes for me..next week still need to pay class fund..die..
todae during pc period had a try out of wat interview is like..oh my god, seriously its veri difficult to ans esp when i see my ade and yi guang so gd in protraying themselves..was veri stress then, couldnt ans a single question posed by them..david sounded veri confident..seriously if i am the one getting interviewed by him, i will feel veri scared, cos he look like those fierce boss and the way he speaks reali veri gd..but too bad i am bad at speaking..and i find tat my current cca has nothing to sae abt..reali..questions was asked on this and i was pondering how should i ans when it seems tat i haven done anything, except going there to talk and do the bac stage stuff..die man, now then i realised tat how important cca are..
this few days have been spending lots of money on clothes, practically shopping for clothes once i finish sch this few days, so i am quite broke now, cos my mama never pay for the clothes for me..next week still need to pay class fund..die..
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
~the truth is..~
“爱一个人不一定要和她有关系，看着她快乐就可以了。”- 乐宾，<
律政新人王>喜欢一个人，可以分爱情还是友情。当爱一个人已不
可能的时候，它就会转换为友情，你只好默默的喜欢和关心她。可
是，爱一个人不是说放就放得下的。你想她快乐，但你也希望能给
她快乐的人是你。有时候只有等，希望她有一天能查觉到。时间不
是距离，了解不是障碍。
to sae the truth, i dun reali know how i feel when i came to know tat..is it heart break or just disappointed with HIM??i feali duno either..somehow i feel tat i dun reali know HIM tat well after all..level of thinking is reali totally different from mine..hai~abit sad..somehow i do learned something from the past tat in a relationship there are lots of factors to consider other than being in luv with one another..religion is something tat i just realised..age and abling to communicate weel are just some other factors to consider..actually there are still lots more, just tat cant thought of it now until u yourself experience it..maybe one of the reason why i like him is probably just to forget HIM, but i think tat he will also break my heart cos got a feeling tat he has someone in mind..so i dun think he will notice me either..haha..i will still prefer to be a secret admirer..hai~maybe just canot forget HIM until the day when the new one comes along.
gd friends are hard to find, and sometimes i feel tat i am just stucked in between.both ger1 and ger2 do not have gd temper as compared to me and ger3, so todae ger1 and ger 2 some sort of sae each other and ger3 and me was like duno how should we do to save tat suitation..i told ger 1 to compromise to each other since friends sometimes need to be compromised at times..sigh..hope tat this thing wont happen again le..
todae chem test is easy if u study hard, but since i started memorising onli the day b4, so isnt veri certain of the facts..i am veri tired todae..
律政新人王>喜欢一个人，可以分爱情还是友情。当爱一个人已不
可能的时候，它就会转换为友情，你只好默默的喜欢和关心她。可
是，爱一个人不是说放就放得下的。你想她快乐，但你也希望能给
她快乐的人是你。有时候只有等，希望她有一天能查觉到。时间不
是距离，了解不是障碍。
to sae the truth, i dun reali know how i feel when i came to know tat..is it heart break or just disappointed with HIM??i feali duno either..somehow i feel tat i dun reali know HIM tat well after all..level of thinking is reali totally different from mine..hai~abit sad..somehow i do learned something from the past tat in a relationship there are lots of factors to consider other than being in luv with one another..religion is something tat i just realised..age and abling to communicate weel are just some other factors to consider..actually there are still lots more, just tat cant thought of it now until u yourself experience it..maybe one of the reason why i like him is probably just to forget HIM, but i think tat he will also break my heart cos got a feeling tat he has someone in mind..so i dun think he will notice me either..haha..i will still prefer to be a secret admirer..hai~maybe just canot forget HIM until the day when the new one comes along.
gd friends are hard to find, and sometimes i feel tat i am just stucked in between.both ger1 and ger2 do not have gd temper as compared to me and ger3, so todae ger1 and ger 2 some sort of sae each other and ger3 and me was like duno how should we do to save tat suitation..i told ger 1 to compromise to each other since friends sometimes need to be compromised at times..sigh..hope tat this thing wont happen again le..
todae chem test is easy if u study hard, but since i started memorising onli the day b4, so isnt veri certain of the facts..i am veri tired todae..
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
If it Doesn't Work Out, I Can Always Get a Divorce...
As couples walk down the aisle together they might not say this out loud, but they're probably thinking it "If it doesn't work out, I can always get a Divorce....". Yes, 50-60% of newly-weds today will experience divorce because they finally acted on this subtle thought. What has happened? Why do people rush to the altar only to end up in court years later? What kind of life can they expect after it's all over? Shouldn't they reconsider? The answers to these questions aren't easy. Some researchers say that "growing apart," "not feeling loved & appreciated," "sexual problems" and "finances" are the top reasons for divorce.
The Bible is pretty clear about what God says are reasons for divorce and that God hates divorce. Yes, there are biblical reasons for divorce. But our culture says that you don't need a reason. It's nobody's fault, so go ahead and get a divorce. After all, it didn't work out. Maybe we as Christians have lost the commitment to work on the difficulties and challenges of marriage. Endurance, perseverance, courage and hard work get exchanged for citations, petitions, broken hearts and child support. And how does it all end up? Lives are shattered, spouses move out, bills abound, children face an uncertain & lonely future. Every area of life is affected.
PBS showed a program called "Children of Divorce" recently. It should have been called "Children of Grief." There were tears, questions, uncertainty, fears and stricken faces. I know. I remember the divorce of my parents. " So", you say," tell me something hopeful, you're a counselor, you're supposed to give me hope." O.K. Here's the hope. If you are considering divorce, reconsider. So many couples have worked on their marriages and have been successful. Stories abound. Marriages are saved. Children are happier. Money is in the bank.If you are going through a divorce, there is life on the other side. Talk to Christians who have gone through it. But maybe you should think it through again with the help of Jesus Christ, the Bible, pastors, counselors and friends.
God can bring good out of divorce. But that doesn't make divorce a good thing. Ask a Divorce Care group. As with any trial, God is your helper, He has a plan for you and will help you grow through it. Isaiah 40:29 says, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." It's not the end of the world. But it's probably harder to work out a divorce than work on a marriage.
Although the Bible is clear about divorce, many of us---Christians and others---have been sorely tempted by thoughts of it. It's easy to understand why, since many of us go through times of intense unhappiness in our marriage. Yet God's position is unmistakable. He hates divorce.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel (Malachi 2:16).
What God has joined together, let man not separate … I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:6, 9).
Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery (Mark 10:11-12).
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).
Common unbiblical reasons (or excuses) for divorce
The following are some common, unscriptural justifications people give for divorce. Feel free to substitute "he" or "she" where appropriate. As you read, ask yourself if you ever say or think any of these things. If you do, ask God for forgiveness and strength to stop.
"I married the wrong person."
Maybe you did marry the "wrong" person. If so, you are not alone. Many of us married someone we should not have, married under poor circumstances or married at the wrong time. But even if you sinned when you married, you cannot fix it by divorcing, for you would be sinning again.
Read the example of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12). David had sexual relations with Bathsheba, arranged to have her husband killed and then married her. This was a terrible way to start a marriage and they suffered because of it.
Although David and Bathsheba's marriage started in sin, God did not tell them to divorce. In fact, read Matthew 1:6 and you will see that their son, Solomon, was one of Joseph's ancestors. (Joseph was the husband of Mary, mother of Jesus.) Although we suffer terribly because of our choices (Galatians 6:7-8), God can bring unforeseen blessings out of our sins.
"I love someone else."
I remember one of the first times someone told me he was divorcing because he loved someone else. Jeremy had been active in his church for many years, but he planned to leave his wife and children because he thought he had fallen in love with a woman on the job.
He and his coworker had worked together on a project for several weeks. When it was completed, he took her to a celebration party at a friend's apartment, leaving his wife at home. They drank wine and danced. As Jeremy held her in his arms, he found himself "falling in love."
Many other married men and women have told me of falling in love with someone else, someone they thought really listened and cared. You, too, may have met someone at work, the grocery store or even church who seems more attentive and respectful than your spouse. The Bible gives clear instructions about how to deal with such situations:
First, do not think about, fantasize or plan how to sin (Romans 13:14). Remember, Jesus said that to divorce and then marry someone else is to commit adultery. Resist the temptation and concentrate your thoughts on what is right and pure (Philippians 4:8).
Second, avoid tempting situations. Jeremy should have stayed home or taken his wife to the celebration party.
Third, do not flirt, "innocently" touch others or make comments that could be interpreted as meaning you are available.
Fourth, be guided by the true love that comes from God, not the "love" that comes from your flesh. If you really love someone, you do not do anything that might cause him or her to sin. If Jeremy really loved his coworker, he would not have attended the party--for her sake as well as his own.
Fifth, when opportunities for sin present themselves, flee (Genesis 39:6-23; 2 Timothy 2:22). Cut off the relationship. Do not lay the foundation for tragedy.
Sixth, unite with (or cleave to) your spouse (Genesis 2:24) and build a good marriage.
"I don't love my mate," or, "I've fallen out of love."
The Bible tells husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and wives to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Biblical love is seen primarily in choices, attitudes and actions, not in emotions. True love is based on our promises to God and to each other, not on how we feel at the moment.
Many marriages have been transformed when people discovered they could choose to love. Study 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, a passage that describes true love. You will see that not one verse describes love in the emotional terms you might expect.
The good news is that once you choose to practice the Bible's love principles, you also begin to experience emotional love.
"My mate doesn't love me."
It can be crushing to think you are unloved. Yet our love should not depend on being loved. Jesus said:
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:44-45).
Since Jesus said to love your enemy, you can be sure he wants you to love your mate, no matter what. Think about Christ's example. He loved those who rejected him.
How can you do this? Only with God's help. Sincerely ask him to help you follow the love instructions in 1 Corinthians 13 and you will see your attitude change. God will bless your obedience to his Word and, as time goes on, you will probably see your mate respond to your love.
"I'm so unhappy. This can't be what God wants."
Most people divorce because they are desperately unhappy. By disobeying God's Word and taking things into their own hands, they think they will find happiness. They pay a huge price. When they disobey God, they turn away from the source of joy--Jesus Christ.
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete (John 15:11).
If you think God doesn't want you to be miserable, you're right. However, he wants you to seek relief his way, not by sinning. The solution is to turn to the Lord and his Word--to learn how to experience his joy whatever your situation (Philippians 4:4; James 1:2).
"We're incompatible," or, "We have grown apart."
You may think that you and your spouse have incompatible personalities. Or you may not share similar beliefs, values or interests. Perhaps your sex life is unsatisfying. Whatever the frustration, the answer is to learn how to flourish in your situation while working to improve it, not run away.
My wife Susan and I have extremely different personalities, talents and interests. During more than three decades of marriage, we have had to accommodate hundreds of differences, large and small. As each of us has sought to learn from the other and to value our differences, we have both gained richer lives.
"I want to develop my ministry."
Harold longingly told me about the ministry he had with single adults before he married. He said that after marrying, he was so distracted by problems with his wife that he didn't have time for his ministry. He was sure God wanted him to divorce and move back into the ministry.
I hope you can see how foolish this argument was. Harold was telling God he planned to disobey him so he could serve him!
"We were not married in God's eyes."
Some rationalize divorce by claiming they are not really married, saying, "All we have is a piece of paper." What a creative solution! Using the same logic, I could disavow any legal contract if I later decided God had not approved of it. My word and the authority of the law would no longer have a hold on me.
This obviously is not the way God looks at things. Examine again the example of David and Bathsheba. There is no question that their marriage was not God's perfect plan, yet God did not have them divorce. Once you marry, you are married.
"He's not saved," or, "She's not a good Christian."
Even if your spouse is not a Christian--or is a lukewarm Christian--God says not to divorce. Instead, he calls on you to pray for your mate, be a great example and win him or her to Christ through your love.
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him … How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12-13, 16).
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 Peter 3:1).
"I don't have peace."
Some justify divorce by saying, "I don't have peace and God called me to peace." They are right when they say God wants them to experience peace. But they are wrong when they think they can get it by disobeying God's commands and seeking peace in their own fashion.
Imagine a harried mother telling her child, "I don't feel peace, so I'm leaving you and getting some nicer children." Or imagine a man in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean saying, "I'm getting seasick" and jumping out of the boat. Divorcing your spouse to find peace is just as foolish--and just as serious an error in God's eyes.
Don't commit sin to find peace. Instead, seek God's peace in your circumstances. Jesus said:
In me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
"She would be happier without me."
Your mate may be unhappy, but don't use this as an excuse to divorce. You are not being noble or loving if you do. You simply are sinning. The noblest thing you can do is obey God. Stay in your marriage and work at making it the best one possible.
"We serve a forgiving God. He will forgive me."
The Bible never encourages us to sin while simultaneously claiming God's forgiveness. You can count on his forgiveness when you genuinely confess your sin, not when you harden your heart and disobey him.
God's Word is full of warnings about professing the name of the Lord while rejecting his commands. Read Malachi 2:13-14 again. God says that in spite of tears, weeping and wailing, he "no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands" because of divorce.
"We are living under grace. We serve a God of love. Don't be legalistic."
Jude forcefully refuted this when he wrote that if you "change the grace of our God into a license for immorality," you "deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord" (Jude 4). Paul also denounced this argument when he wrote:
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? (Romans 6:1-2).
When you divorce for non-scriptural reasons, you are actively rebelling against God. Study Hosea 7:13-14, 8:2-3, 9:4 and Amos 5:21 for warnings to those who claim to seek God but choose to sin at the same time.
No one is perfect (1 John 1:8). If we could not ask God's forgiveness, we would be without hope. But don't play games with the Lord by saying you love him while at the same time disobeying him.
"Divorce is no worse than other sins."
This excuse goes right along with "We serve a forgiving God. He will forgive me." People who use this argument often have two points: (1) No sin is worse than other sins and (2) everybody sins from time to time, so what's the big deal?
If you think this way, you open the door to a world of sin, for you excuse sin so easily.
The argument that "divorce is no worse than other sins, so it's okay to divorce," is nonsense. We should look for ways to please God, not excuses to disobey him. Read God's call to holiness in Leviticus 11:44, Romans 12:1, Ephesians 5:4-5 and 1 Thessalonians 4:7. When you choose to sin, you put a distance between God and yourself. That distance grows because you have hardened your heart to his voice.
Further, in some crucial aspects, it's not true that no sin is worse than other sins. Read Malachi 2:13-16 again to see the forcefulness of God's condemnation of divorce. Also read 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 in which Paul highlighted sexual sins because "your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:19).
"He is physically abusive."
There are situations in which you should take action to protect yourself. Physical abuse is one of them. A man cannot begin to understand the emotional harm, not to mention the physical damage, which he inflicts when he abuses his wife. The same is equally true with a physically abusive woman.
It is often wise to separate when physical abuse occurs. The purpose of separating, however, is not to lay the foundation for a divorce. Rather, the goals are to (1) prevent further violence and (2) provide adequate time for the couple to receive biblical counseling to build a solid marriage.
Other appropriate responses to abuse include talking to your pastor, calling the police or getting a restraining order. It is okay for a Christian to appeal to the civil authorities. Read in Acts 25:11 about the time Saul claimed his rights as a Roman citizen when he was mistreated.
"I committed a sexual sin."
From time to time, I hear someone say, "Since I had an affair, our marriage is over and I'm free to divorce." That's not what the Bible says. If you committed adultery, your spouse is free to divorce you. It doesn't work the other way around.
"He committed "mental adultery."
If your spouse longingly stares, or seems to stare, at someone else, don't say, "He looked at another woman lustfully. According to Matthew 5:27-28, he committed adultery in his heart, so I can divorce him." This would be a misuse of the Scriptures. To use the same line of reasoning, I could take someone to court as a murderer for getting angry with me (Matthew 5:22 and 1 John 3:15). These passages are written to strengthen us against lust and anger, not to justify legal actions.
There are hundreds of additional "Christian" reasons (excuses) for divorce.
The list of reasons people give for divorce is endless. For example: "He's an alcoholic." "She won't make love." "He's mean to my kids." "She smokes." "He's emotionally abusive." "She pushed me away." "I can't trust him." "God doesn't want me in an unhealthy relationship."
If you say such things, apply the same scriptural principles discussed earlier. Although you may face heartbreaking problems, they are not biblical reasons for divorce.
God loves you and will help you in your situation. Learn to "cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Trust him and follow his commands; he will help you through your hard times.
There is hope in the Lord
Many people say divorce brings freedom. That is no more true than the serpent's promises to Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:1-5). Living according to God's Word provides true freedom--the freedom of a clean conscience, freedom from the tyranny and consequences of sin and freedom to enjoy God's love.
Even if you think you are stuck with a miserable marriage for the rest of your life, take heart. God loves you and wants the best for you. His commands are for your good. As you read the Bible and grow in the Lord, you will discover principles to help you live with satisfaction and joy regardless of your situation. You will also learn many ways to transform an unsatisfying marriage into a great one.
The Bible is pretty clear about what God says are reasons for divorce and that God hates divorce. Yes, there are biblical reasons for divorce. But our culture says that you don't need a reason. It's nobody's fault, so go ahead and get a divorce. After all, it didn't work out. Maybe we as Christians have lost the commitment to work on the difficulties and challenges of marriage. Endurance, perseverance, courage and hard work get exchanged for citations, petitions, broken hearts and child support. And how does it all end up? Lives are shattered, spouses move out, bills abound, children face an uncertain & lonely future. Every area of life is affected.
PBS showed a program called "Children of Divorce" recently. It should have been called "Children of Grief." There were tears, questions, uncertainty, fears and stricken faces. I know. I remember the divorce of my parents. " So", you say," tell me something hopeful, you're a counselor, you're supposed to give me hope." O.K. Here's the hope. If you are considering divorce, reconsider. So many couples have worked on their marriages and have been successful. Stories abound. Marriages are saved. Children are happier. Money is in the bank.If you are going through a divorce, there is life on the other side. Talk to Christians who have gone through it. But maybe you should think it through again with the help of Jesus Christ, the Bible, pastors, counselors and friends.
God can bring good out of divorce. But that doesn't make divorce a good thing. Ask a Divorce Care group. As with any trial, God is your helper, He has a plan for you and will help you grow through it. Isaiah 40:29 says, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." It's not the end of the world. But it's probably harder to work out a divorce than work on a marriage.
Although the Bible is clear about divorce, many of us---Christians and others---have been sorely tempted by thoughts of it. It's easy to understand why, since many of us go through times of intense unhappiness in our marriage. Yet God's position is unmistakable. He hates divorce.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel (Malachi 2:16).
What God has joined together, let man not separate … I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:6, 9).
Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery (Mark 10:11-12).
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).
Common unbiblical reasons (or excuses) for divorce
The following are some common, unscriptural justifications people give for divorce. Feel free to substitute "he" or "she" where appropriate. As you read, ask yourself if you ever say or think any of these things. If you do, ask God for forgiveness and strength to stop.
"I married the wrong person."
Maybe you did marry the "wrong" person. If so, you are not alone. Many of us married someone we should not have, married under poor circumstances or married at the wrong time. But even if you sinned when you married, you cannot fix it by divorcing, for you would be sinning again.
Read the example of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12). David had sexual relations with Bathsheba, arranged to have her husband killed and then married her. This was a terrible way to start a marriage and they suffered because of it.
Although David and Bathsheba's marriage started in sin, God did not tell them to divorce. In fact, read Matthew 1:6 and you will see that their son, Solomon, was one of Joseph's ancestors. (Joseph was the husband of Mary, mother of Jesus.) Although we suffer terribly because of our choices (Galatians 6:7-8), God can bring unforeseen blessings out of our sins.
"I love someone else."
I remember one of the first times someone told me he was divorcing because he loved someone else. Jeremy had been active in his church for many years, but he planned to leave his wife and children because he thought he had fallen in love with a woman on the job.
He and his coworker had worked together on a project for several weeks. When it was completed, he took her to a celebration party at a friend's apartment, leaving his wife at home. They drank wine and danced. As Jeremy held her in his arms, he found himself "falling in love."
Many other married men and women have told me of falling in love with someone else, someone they thought really listened and cared. You, too, may have met someone at work, the grocery store or even church who seems more attentive and respectful than your spouse. The Bible gives clear instructions about how to deal with such situations:
First, do not think about, fantasize or plan how to sin (Romans 13:14). Remember, Jesus said that to divorce and then marry someone else is to commit adultery. Resist the temptation and concentrate your thoughts on what is right and pure (Philippians 4:8).
Second, avoid tempting situations. Jeremy should have stayed home or taken his wife to the celebration party.
Third, do not flirt, "innocently" touch others or make comments that could be interpreted as meaning you are available.
Fourth, be guided by the true love that comes from God, not the "love" that comes from your flesh. If you really love someone, you do not do anything that might cause him or her to sin. If Jeremy really loved his coworker, he would not have attended the party--for her sake as well as his own.
Fifth, when opportunities for sin present themselves, flee (Genesis 39:6-23; 2 Timothy 2:22). Cut off the relationship. Do not lay the foundation for tragedy.
Sixth, unite with (or cleave to) your spouse (Genesis 2:24) and build a good marriage.
"I don't love my mate," or, "I've fallen out of love."
The Bible tells husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and wives to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Biblical love is seen primarily in choices, attitudes and actions, not in emotions. True love is based on our promises to God and to each other, not on how we feel at the moment.
Many marriages have been transformed when people discovered they could choose to love. Study 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, a passage that describes true love. You will see that not one verse describes love in the emotional terms you might expect.
The good news is that once you choose to practice the Bible's love principles, you also begin to experience emotional love.
"My mate doesn't love me."
It can be crushing to think you are unloved. Yet our love should not depend on being loved. Jesus said:
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:44-45).
Since Jesus said to love your enemy, you can be sure he wants you to love your mate, no matter what. Think about Christ's example. He loved those who rejected him.
How can you do this? Only with God's help. Sincerely ask him to help you follow the love instructions in 1 Corinthians 13 and you will see your attitude change. God will bless your obedience to his Word and, as time goes on, you will probably see your mate respond to your love.
"I'm so unhappy. This can't be what God wants."
Most people divorce because they are desperately unhappy. By disobeying God's Word and taking things into their own hands, they think they will find happiness. They pay a huge price. When they disobey God, they turn away from the source of joy--Jesus Christ.
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete (John 15:11).
If you think God doesn't want you to be miserable, you're right. However, he wants you to seek relief his way, not by sinning. The solution is to turn to the Lord and his Word--to learn how to experience his joy whatever your situation (Philippians 4:4; James 1:2).
"We're incompatible," or, "We have grown apart."
You may think that you and your spouse have incompatible personalities. Or you may not share similar beliefs, values or interests. Perhaps your sex life is unsatisfying. Whatever the frustration, the answer is to learn how to flourish in your situation while working to improve it, not run away.
My wife Susan and I have extremely different personalities, talents and interests. During more than three decades of marriage, we have had to accommodate hundreds of differences, large and small. As each of us has sought to learn from the other and to value our differences, we have both gained richer lives.
"I want to develop my ministry."
Harold longingly told me about the ministry he had with single adults before he married. He said that after marrying, he was so distracted by problems with his wife that he didn't have time for his ministry. He was sure God wanted him to divorce and move back into the ministry.
I hope you can see how foolish this argument was. Harold was telling God he planned to disobey him so he could serve him!
"We were not married in God's eyes."
Some rationalize divorce by claiming they are not really married, saying, "All we have is a piece of paper." What a creative solution! Using the same logic, I could disavow any legal contract if I later decided God had not approved of it. My word and the authority of the law would no longer have a hold on me.
This obviously is not the way God looks at things. Examine again the example of David and Bathsheba. There is no question that their marriage was not God's perfect plan, yet God did not have them divorce. Once you marry, you are married.
"He's not saved," or, "She's not a good Christian."
Even if your spouse is not a Christian--or is a lukewarm Christian--God says not to divorce. Instead, he calls on you to pray for your mate, be a great example and win him or her to Christ through your love.
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him … How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12-13, 16).
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives (1 Peter 3:1).
"I don't have peace."
Some justify divorce by saying, "I don't have peace and God called me to peace." They are right when they say God wants them to experience peace. But they are wrong when they think they can get it by disobeying God's commands and seeking peace in their own fashion.
Imagine a harried mother telling her child, "I don't feel peace, so I'm leaving you and getting some nicer children." Or imagine a man in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean saying, "I'm getting seasick" and jumping out of the boat. Divorcing your spouse to find peace is just as foolish--and just as serious an error in God's eyes.
Don't commit sin to find peace. Instead, seek God's peace in your circumstances. Jesus said:
In me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
"She would be happier without me."
Your mate may be unhappy, but don't use this as an excuse to divorce. You are not being noble or loving if you do. You simply are sinning. The noblest thing you can do is obey God. Stay in your marriage and work at making it the best one possible.
"We serve a forgiving God. He will forgive me."
The Bible never encourages us to sin while simultaneously claiming God's forgiveness. You can count on his forgiveness when you genuinely confess your sin, not when you harden your heart and disobey him.
God's Word is full of warnings about professing the name of the Lord while rejecting his commands. Read Malachi 2:13-14 again. God says that in spite of tears, weeping and wailing, he "no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands" because of divorce.
"We are living under grace. We serve a God of love. Don't be legalistic."
Jude forcefully refuted this when he wrote that if you "change the grace of our God into a license for immorality," you "deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord" (Jude 4). Paul also denounced this argument when he wrote:
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? (Romans 6:1-2).
When you divorce for non-scriptural reasons, you are actively rebelling against God. Study Hosea 7:13-14, 8:2-3, 9:4 and Amos 5:21 for warnings to those who claim to seek God but choose to sin at the same time.
No one is perfect (1 John 1:8). If we could not ask God's forgiveness, we would be without hope. But don't play games with the Lord by saying you love him while at the same time disobeying him.
"Divorce is no worse than other sins."
This excuse goes right along with "We serve a forgiving God. He will forgive me." People who use this argument often have two points: (1) No sin is worse than other sins and (2) everybody sins from time to time, so what's the big deal?
If you think this way, you open the door to a world of sin, for you excuse sin so easily.
The argument that "divorce is no worse than other sins, so it's okay to divorce," is nonsense. We should look for ways to please God, not excuses to disobey him. Read God's call to holiness in Leviticus 11:44, Romans 12:1, Ephesians 5:4-5 and 1 Thessalonians 4:7. When you choose to sin, you put a distance between God and yourself. That distance grows because you have hardened your heart to his voice.
Further, in some crucial aspects, it's not true that no sin is worse than other sins. Read Malachi 2:13-16 again to see the forcefulness of God's condemnation of divorce. Also read 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 in which Paul highlighted sexual sins because "your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:19).
"He is physically abusive."
There are situations in which you should take action to protect yourself. Physical abuse is one of them. A man cannot begin to understand the emotional harm, not to mention the physical damage, which he inflicts when he abuses his wife. The same is equally true with a physically abusive woman.
It is often wise to separate when physical abuse occurs. The purpose of separating, however, is not to lay the foundation for a divorce. Rather, the goals are to (1) prevent further violence and (2) provide adequate time for the couple to receive biblical counseling to build a solid marriage.
Other appropriate responses to abuse include talking to your pastor, calling the police or getting a restraining order. It is okay for a Christian to appeal to the civil authorities. Read in Acts 25:11 about the time Saul claimed his rights as a Roman citizen when he was mistreated.
"I committed a sexual sin."
From time to time, I hear someone say, "Since I had an affair, our marriage is over and I'm free to divorce." That's not what the Bible says. If you committed adultery, your spouse is free to divorce you. It doesn't work the other way around.
"He committed "mental adultery."
If your spouse longingly stares, or seems to stare, at someone else, don't say, "He looked at another woman lustfully. According to Matthew 5:27-28, he committed adultery in his heart, so I can divorce him." This would be a misuse of the Scriptures. To use the same line of reasoning, I could take someone to court as a murderer for getting angry with me (Matthew 5:22 and 1 John 3:15). These passages are written to strengthen us against lust and anger, not to justify legal actions.
There are hundreds of additional "Christian" reasons (excuses) for divorce.
The list of reasons people give for divorce is endless. For example: "He's an alcoholic." "She won't make love." "He's mean to my kids." "She smokes." "He's emotionally abusive." "She pushed me away." "I can't trust him." "God doesn't want me in an unhealthy relationship."
If you say such things, apply the same scriptural principles discussed earlier. Although you may face heartbreaking problems, they are not biblical reasons for divorce.
God loves you and will help you in your situation. Learn to "cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Trust him and follow his commands; he will help you through your hard times.
There is hope in the Lord
Many people say divorce brings freedom. That is no more true than the serpent's promises to Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:1-5). Living according to God's Word provides true freedom--the freedom of a clean conscience, freedom from the tyranny and consequences of sin and freedom to enjoy God's love.
Even if you think you are stuck with a miserable marriage for the rest of your life, take heart. God loves you and wants the best for you. His commands are for your good. As you read the Bible and grow in the Lord, you will discover principles to help you live with satisfaction and joy regardless of your situation. You will also learn many ways to transform an unsatisfying marriage into a great one.
~part of the heart?gone?~
weekend reali veri busy, was rushing to do all my past tutorial tat i haven done previously..seriously i feel veri tired, why do i feel tat there is a sudden jump from j1 to j2..sometimes just couldnt take this jump..some ppl still got time to watch tv and go ou on weekends, but seriously i got no time for tat..watching tv still got abit, but going out wise, reali hardly unless got some impt things tat need me to go out or either during holidays then i got time to go out with friends..normal days reali seldom..
was helping my dad to cut hair since he asked me to cut for him even though he dun mind tat later i cut until veri ugly..actually wasnted to take up courses on hairdressing cos got abit interest in it, but it gets u no where if u want to make a living..last time, thought of taking up maths courses in univeristy, but looks like i want to change my choice again cos its boring and not much jobs available related to maths..i shall make being a teacher as my last restort..
weekend has been looking alot of times at my hp, hopping tat HE will msg me, hai~but sad to sae dun have..actually i also duno wat i thinking also..who does my heart actually think abt?sigh..even i also duno the ans to it..
its going to be a yr le, soon in abt 1.5 months, i think..time reali flies, duno why i take to forget a person either when others can do it easily, and i take reali long to recover cos recovery process isnt easy at all when u are all alone..thus, i tell myself tat the next one shall be my last one in my life..cos just dun want to get hurt again, niether do i want to hurt others..so in future need to think carefully over things and not to be rash abt anything, esp when talking abt things regarding relationship..part of my heart still lies with him and slightly some part of the heart are occupied by another person..but my heart isnt 100% used up, not like in the past when i am in a relationship tat time..in fact, i should sae tat less than half of my heart used up..i also got no idea who do i like exactly, is it him or him>?i want to remain wat i said in the past, but looks like i should not wait anymore..seriously sometimes i find myself quite hopeless..friends did ask me to forget him but wo zhuo bu dao..not i dun wan..whenever my brother mentioned abt him, i will start to think of him again..seriously i still duno if wat i dreamt in my dream will ever come true or not..cos it seems it is drifting further away from me le..wanted to find excuses to talk to him, but i got no gd reason..=(
sometimes whenever i go home late will see an ah por sitting at the bus stop smiling and waving at ppl who are alighting from the bus..sometimes feel veri kelian for her, duno who so mean to dump her there at nite..i always got smile bac and wave bac cos reali pity her..will always turn bac to look at her when i crossing the road..
sat with the mymmar boy yesterday, shall him "mao mao" cos his name has one "Mao"..think he quite smart, even though last time used to thought tat he isnt tat smart when we used to be in band 3..ren bu ke mao xiang..and duno why realised tat so many guys dun shave their moustache clean..and i find it veri ugly.."mao mao", johnathon, john are just 3 eg tat i can find..and todae super funny cos mr chua was saeing tat the guy in my class was making his moustache from the start of the lesson to the end of the lesson..
todae had 2hrs of pe lesson, so tired like anything..and todae decided to find mdm ho to teach me physic..seriously i still canot wat she talking after finding her, but i dun dare to sae i duno cos scared later she fed up with her for being so stupid..duno why up to now, she still thought tat i am china student..dots dots.-diao- fair doesnt equal to china student..anyway dun like ppl calling me china student, find it an insult..
die, thur got chem exam..so many to memorized..sian..
was helping my dad to cut hair since he asked me to cut for him even though he dun mind tat later i cut until veri ugly..actually wasnted to take up courses on hairdressing cos got abit interest in it, but it gets u no where if u want to make a living..last time, thought of taking up maths courses in univeristy, but looks like i want to change my choice again cos its boring and not much jobs available related to maths..i shall make being a teacher as my last restort..
weekend has been looking alot of times at my hp, hopping tat HE will msg me, hai~but sad to sae dun have..actually i also duno wat i thinking also..who does my heart actually think abt?sigh..even i also duno the ans to it..
its going to be a yr le, soon in abt 1.5 months, i think..time reali flies, duno why i take to forget a person either when others can do it easily, and i take reali long to recover cos recovery process isnt easy at all when u are all alone..thus, i tell myself tat the next one shall be my last one in my life..cos just dun want to get hurt again, niether do i want to hurt others..so in future need to think carefully over things and not to be rash abt anything, esp when talking abt things regarding relationship..part of my heart still lies with him and slightly some part of the heart are occupied by another person..but my heart isnt 100% used up, not like in the past when i am in a relationship tat time..in fact, i should sae tat less than half of my heart used up..i also got no idea who do i like exactly, is it him or him>?i want to remain wat i said in the past, but looks like i should not wait anymore..seriously sometimes i find myself quite hopeless..friends did ask me to forget him but wo zhuo bu dao..not i dun wan..whenever my brother mentioned abt him, i will start to think of him again..seriously i still duno if wat i dreamt in my dream will ever come true or not..cos it seems it is drifting further away from me le..wanted to find excuses to talk to him, but i got no gd reason..=(
sometimes whenever i go home late will see an ah por sitting at the bus stop smiling and waving at ppl who are alighting from the bus..sometimes feel veri kelian for her, duno who so mean to dump her there at nite..i always got smile bac and wave bac cos reali pity her..will always turn bac to look at her when i crossing the road..
sat with the mymmar boy yesterday, shall him "mao mao" cos his name has one "Mao"..think he quite smart, even though last time used to thought tat he isnt tat smart when we used to be in band 3..ren bu ke mao xiang..and duno why realised tat so many guys dun shave their moustache clean..and i find it veri ugly.."mao mao", johnathon, john are just 3 eg tat i can find..and todae super funny cos mr chua was saeing tat the guy in my class was making his moustache from the start of the lesson to the end of the lesson..
todae had 2hrs of pe lesson, so tired like anything..and todae decided to find mdm ho to teach me physic..seriously i still canot wat she talking after finding her, but i dun dare to sae i duno cos scared later she fed up with her for being so stupid..duno why up to now, she still thought tat i am china student..dots dots.-diao- fair doesnt equal to china student..anyway dun like ppl calling me china student, find it an insult..
die, thur got chem exam..so many to memorized..sian..
Friday, February 17, 2006
~results for physics~
my results for physic is reali super bad..the funny part is tat i onli get 3 out of 12 mCQ correct and ia m the lowest in class..teacher was down there mentioning the highest and lowest mark for MCQ and she was aseing tat someone got 3 out of 12 correct and its VERI BAD..i was quite pei seh but my mind wasnt functioning weel at tat time, but luckily my structured qns i did quite well..so overall just manage to pass and the funny part is tat CM got less than me..still tok tat i am already worst liao..ms lim also laughed at her when she tell her tat she got tat mark..overall i find tat this thing is a joke and i dun feel sad at all..
and this phy teacher of mine is reali getting more hopeless..ppl like oys so nice also feel irritated becos of her teaching, even he so smart also dun understand wat she talking abt, hai~ i onli come to class and talk, seriously many at times dun understand wat she talking abt even though i did try hard to pay full attention to her liao..actually find ch veri blur and quite cute in terms of character wise after talking to him in class..actually i am onli quite gd with the repeat students, other ppl dun reali talk much, not becos they not nice or wat, its just tat since last yr, we dun have PW and chinese, so many at times we dun reali get to interact with them..i am just worried tat my grades keep dropping cos i feel tat alot of things i dun reali understand, i am starting to feel abit lost just like when i am in j1 in 2004..hai~~
have been chatting to this guy, older than me quite abit online cos he sms me first, initally dun want to reply cos i also duno him, but since i am quite bored, so decided to talk and on want hand i want to see wat kind of person he is..he asked for my msn and hp no, but i didnt give cos i know tat this kind of guy not reliable..so i bluff him tat i dun have even though i know tat he confirm know tat i am lying, but i cant find any other reasons to reply..seriously i dun trust guys esp strangers tat i duno..someone he is an ITE guy, seems to me like he is those bad guy, so i rather play safe and not to reveal anything abt myself other than anything written there..i shall just continue to lie and play along with him..up to now, never seen b4 any ITE guys who are nice except fot those grp of guys tat i came to know through mm..not i want to condemn them, but most of the time its the truth tat majority are bad..
err, wed happened something pei seh..dun think i want to eleborate..she asked the same qn to me and Z cos she feels tat there is something between us..seriously i just find it funny cos we are just friends..=) initally she wanted to ask him in front of him, but later she changed her mind..eventually he and her went home together and i decided to go seperate ways cos it will be just veri awkward, but now, everything over liao, not shy anymore after clearing the misconception..haha..
todae, we just feel puzzled why they are giving us tat look, dun understand why either, in wat way have we done wrong??hai~~~feel we feel like being alienated like tat..seriously i still dun know wat the reason behind it..and todae ms lim todae ask we all to write something abt our friends..writing testimonial..some ppl dun reali know them well, can onli write general comments..
this week seems reali busy, need to read up lots of things tat i haven read up, esp chem and maths..chem can reali faint..
and this phy teacher of mine is reali getting more hopeless..ppl like oys so nice also feel irritated becos of her teaching, even he so smart also dun understand wat she talking abt, hai~ i onli come to class and talk, seriously many at times dun understand wat she talking abt even though i did try hard to pay full attention to her liao..actually find ch veri blur and quite cute in terms of character wise after talking to him in class..actually i am onli quite gd with the repeat students, other ppl dun reali talk much, not becos they not nice or wat, its just tat since last yr, we dun have PW and chinese, so many at times we dun reali get to interact with them..i am just worried tat my grades keep dropping cos i feel tat alot of things i dun reali understand, i am starting to feel abit lost just like when i am in j1 in 2004..hai~~
have been chatting to this guy, older than me quite abit online cos he sms me first, initally dun want to reply cos i also duno him, but since i am quite bored, so decided to talk and on want hand i want to see wat kind of person he is..he asked for my msn and hp no, but i didnt give cos i know tat this kind of guy not reliable..so i bluff him tat i dun have even though i know tat he confirm know tat i am lying, but i cant find any other reasons to reply..seriously i dun trust guys esp strangers tat i duno..someone he is an ITE guy, seems to me like he is those bad guy, so i rather play safe and not to reveal anything abt myself other than anything written there..i shall just continue to lie and play along with him..up to now, never seen b4 any ITE guys who are nice except fot those grp of guys tat i came to know through mm..not i want to condemn them, but most of the time its the truth tat majority are bad..
err, wed happened something pei seh..dun think i want to eleborate..she asked the same qn to me and Z cos she feels tat there is something between us..seriously i just find it funny cos we are just friends..=) initally she wanted to ask him in front of him, but later she changed her mind..eventually he and her went home together and i decided to go seperate ways cos it will be just veri awkward, but now, everything over liao, not shy anymore after clearing the misconception..haha..
todae, we just feel puzzled why they are giving us tat look, dun understand why either, in wat way have we done wrong??hai~~~feel we feel like being alienated like tat..seriously i still dun know wat the reason behind it..and todae ms lim todae ask we all to write something abt our friends..writing testimonial..some ppl dun reali know them well, can onli write general comments..
this week seems reali busy, need to read up lots of things tat i haven read up, esp chem and maths..chem can reali faint..
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
~my V day~
quite miss those places tat last time i used to go when i go for pa tor..those places gives us a calming effect..whenever u are feeling down or wat, going to such places makes u feel better..however one thing is tat there isnt public transport to reach tat place, u need to drive up to the place in order to reach there..reali like the view of the sea at the labrador park, esp at nite..hopefully there will be a chance i can go there again with my future bf..=)
think tat johnathon is quite a cute and blur boy..he always give me the blur blur look whenever i ask him anything during chem pract and i think he is quite a nice person to bully also..haha..anyway luckily the chem pract requies us to use the match sticks to light up the fire, cos if it is substituted with lighter, then i die cos i duno how to use a lighter, even up to now, even though i am so old liao..tell ppl liao also pei seh..
V day was just a usual day for me..seriously i envy those gers in my sch carrying bouquet of flowers cos its so nice and sweet..whenever they walked into the LT, ppl was like wa...the emphasize was on the flowers..received quite a no choclates from the gers, but none from guys..seriously seldom see guys giving gers anything on V day, except to their gf..gers are always the one giving gifts to everyone on V day...
had a date with ms lim and after which went to eat with them...saw a lot of gers carrying bug bouquet of flowers on the train and i was asking myself tat time "when will i have my next bf arh?"i was wondering , but i came up with no conclusion..hmmm...didnt reali think of A, duno why either..and do i reali like my eye candy?ans is yes and no..maybe feelings for him isnt tat deep ba..sometimes he gives me the veri dao look and i also duno how to sae also..
then todae mr wong treat us eat pizza..was abit shocked..initally dun want to go todae cos got reali lots of thing to do and i am veri tired..sigh, i am reali tired of coming for mr chua lesson, always talk so fast, got a hard time in catching up with him..sian..and i reali dun like going for mdm ho lesson also, duno wat the heck she is talking abt also..
fri still got re test, cant imgaine why i can get F for my maths this time..if my mum knows abt it, confirm she will sae me like anything..
think tat johnathon is quite a cute and blur boy..he always give me the blur blur look whenever i ask him anything during chem pract and i think he is quite a nice person to bully also..haha..anyway luckily the chem pract requies us to use the match sticks to light up the fire, cos if it is substituted with lighter, then i die cos i duno how to use a lighter, even up to now, even though i am so old liao..tell ppl liao also pei seh..
V day was just a usual day for me..seriously i envy those gers in my sch carrying bouquet of flowers cos its so nice and sweet..whenever they walked into the LT, ppl was like wa...the emphasize was on the flowers..received quite a no choclates from the gers, but none from guys..seriously seldom see guys giving gers anything on V day, except to their gf..gers are always the one giving gifts to everyone on V day...
had a date with ms lim and after which went to eat with them...saw a lot of gers carrying bug bouquet of flowers on the train and i was asking myself tat time "when will i have my next bf arh?"i was wondering , but i came up with no conclusion..hmmm...didnt reali think of A, duno why either..and do i reali like my eye candy?ans is yes and no..maybe feelings for him isnt tat deep ba..sometimes he gives me the veri dao look and i also duno how to sae also..
then todae mr wong treat us eat pizza..was abit shocked..initally dun want to go todae cos got reali lots of thing to do and i am veri tired..sigh, i am reali tired of coming for mr chua lesson, always talk so fast, got a hard time in catching up with him..sian..and i reali dun like going for mdm ho lesson also, duno wat the heck she is talking abt also..
fri still got re test, cant imgaine why i can get F for my maths this time..if my mum knows abt it, confirm she will sae me like anything..
Monday, February 13, 2006
~the bazaar in sch~ CVD
i always kana caught by my pe teacher fro not wearing yj shorts..its been like 2 yrs le, and up to now i have still not intended to buy the shorts since veri soon i will be graduating..anyway i have always pulled out veri often and asked to stand in front of the gers becos i am not properly attired..and ya, since i have been like being "punished" for the past 2 yrs le consistently, so i dun feel anything when i was asked to stand out again..teacher even said tat i veri pro cos i made my own brand of shorts..actually, it wasnt veri obvious when u look it from far, but tat dat, she happens to see through it, so bo bian kana caught again for modifying it to look like yj shorts..fri was just veri angry with them cos i got nothing to do le, yet they still want me to stay on and rehearse with them when i am just in charge of clicking the sides onli..and they release me at 8pm, then somemore the sch there so ulu..no ppl to pei me walk to the MRT, obviously i was quite scared..seriously i reali hate it cos they always like to do last min changes and expect us to do last min touch up..
CVD was overall quite alright..initally i was asked to come at 8, but i purposely came at 10 cos i know tat i go there so early also zhuo bo..asked them if they need help and they sae no need..so wat's the pt of coming so early rite?anyway i live so far, need more time to sleep also..seriously i am quite unhappy with my chairman,,she die die also want me to do 2 shifts when i said tat i am just willing to do one of them since i also need to help out with my class..obviously i do it unwillingly, but wat can i do rite?she is the head, she has the sae in everything..ppl like me have no sae in such things..and during this performance, out leacture hall was some sort used for proposing marriage for one male teacher..he brought along his gf to our show and together with his students, the male teacher was asked to propose to his gf, whom i find tat she is quite pretty..i was wasked to pass the mike to the male teacher..intially i still ask mr wong whom should i pass the mike to?guy or ger?haha, obviously tat time i wasnt using my brain..and mr wong replied" of cos guy lah.." he knee down in front of his gf with a bouquet of flowers, but tat time no ring, so abit not sincere..but overall everything was sweet and i was smiling away..the gf replied tat she is still considering, but i think inside her heart she sae ok liao, just tat maybe she shy to sae it in front of the LT cos alot of ppl witnessing this thing..intially the male tacher wanted to kiss his gf, but she dun wan..aiya, so no nice show to watch le..haha..
anyway i was also sway becos the 2 guys accidently spray concentrated H2So4 on half of my unifrom during the show..was quite sickening abt it cos its corrosive and our skin could burn and itch if i dun wash it..luckily they didnt spray it on my face, if not i will scold and bve angry with them for damagaing my face..anyway after i went to the toilet to wash it, i decided to zao and not to return after tat..i decided to help out my class since i have not contributed anything to the class, so i just washed the plates..i always like to complain to my mum tat i dun wan to wash the plates cos later my hands will be veri ugly..but look like i got no choice tat day cos i haven did anything for the class..seriously i didnt reali eat and buy anything tat day cos i was just held up by the show and me, cm and kq was walking arounf the sch talking picts of ourself, just to keep as ji nian, so ended up having gastric pain tat day..
lots of ex yjcians came bac, manyt become prettier, probably becos of the make up and many dyed their dair..many of them brought their gf/bf alson and i realised tat alot of ppl are attached after they graduated..saw quite a no of shuai ge, but sad to sae, they are not mine..quite a no of gers are carrying a bouquet of flowers around the sch, given by their bf cos V day coming..seriously i think its quite sweet, but dun u think tat its veri pei seh to hold roses on the hand?hmm..id me i will hide it inside my bag..but to me, i think buying real roses abit waste the guy money cos its will die eventually and i will dump it anyway..i still prefer those flowers made of speacial paper, then at least it wont die and can be kept..anyway enough fo these le, cos i also dun have any bf..
was watching the video takenb the past few days by ms lim..seriously i look veri ugly in the video..i walways like to cover my face when the camera faces me, so most of the time i wasnt looking straight into the camera..seriously i find it funny when i see wat i am doing in the video and i realised tat i got many small actions tat me myself dun even realised until i see the video..duno why i look so blur also in every viedo, always doing the same old pose..ch was laughing at me when he saw wat i am doing in the video..yes, indeed i find it funny too..anyway everything was a nice experience..
i realised tat tat day i unknownlingly share utensils with ch when i forgot tat he is a guy cos tat time i super hungry liao, but since he dun mind, i just take and use it.normally dun share things with guys, unless tat guy is my bf..i find sharing things with guys abit unhygienic, but gers still alright..
some ex yj same age as me came bac and i heard his conversation with mr wong..i was shocked to hear tat he drives a lr in the past cos he so young, not sure if he owns one lr..anyway his face dun look like he knows how to drive..and last sat saw couples adults quarreling until veri bad and i happened to witness it at the MRT platform..at least in the past, he and me didnt quarrel unti tat bad..at most i just dun talk to him and after a few days everything will be ok le..
yesterday slep veri little, and surprising i am quite awake now..had to study for the phy test yesterday since i canot finish studying it cos b4 tat, i still went out and take my time to do my things..anyway test was difficult, not enough time also..sigh..j2 reali not easy..and todae had to sit beside shank cos mr chua put me there..i was thinking mr chua aim was to let us interact, but since he know tat we are classmates in the past, then why put us together again??seriously sitting with him reali stress me sia, he reali veri veri smart..his brain thinks reali fast..i am abit scared to sitting with him cos whenever i ask him any qns, he like so fierce and he seems like he got no patience, so i dun dare to ask so much and i will sae i know even i duno after he explains..sigh..i feel lost during chem class, probably becos i haven read up yet..
tml is V day..sad to sae have to spend time alone, maybe or with my tat grp of friends since they sae they wanted to go out tml, but i think most prob, everything will be cancelled cos tml they still got chinese..
CVD was overall quite alright..initally i was asked to come at 8, but i purposely came at 10 cos i know tat i go there so early also zhuo bo..asked them if they need help and they sae no need..so wat's the pt of coming so early rite?anyway i live so far, need more time to sleep also..seriously i am quite unhappy with my chairman,,she die die also want me to do 2 shifts when i said tat i am just willing to do one of them since i also need to help out with my class..obviously i do it unwillingly, but wat can i do rite?she is the head, she has the sae in everything..ppl like me have no sae in such things..and during this performance, out leacture hall was some sort used for proposing marriage for one male teacher..he brought along his gf to our show and together with his students, the male teacher was asked to propose to his gf, whom i find tat she is quite pretty..i was wasked to pass the mike to the male teacher..intially i still ask mr wong whom should i pass the mike to?guy or ger?haha, obviously tat time i wasnt using my brain..and mr wong replied" of cos guy lah.." he knee down in front of his gf with a bouquet of flowers, but tat time no ring, so abit not sincere..but overall everything was sweet and i was smiling away..the gf replied tat she is still considering, but i think inside her heart she sae ok liao, just tat maybe she shy to sae it in front of the LT cos alot of ppl witnessing this thing..intially the male tacher wanted to kiss his gf, but she dun wan..aiya, so no nice show to watch le..haha..
anyway i was also sway becos the 2 guys accidently spray concentrated H2So4 on half of my unifrom during the show..was quite sickening abt it cos its corrosive and our skin could burn and itch if i dun wash it..luckily they didnt spray it on my face, if not i will scold and bve angry with them for damagaing my face..anyway after i went to the toilet to wash it, i decided to zao and not to return after tat..i decided to help out my class since i have not contributed anything to the class, so i just washed the plates..i always like to complain to my mum tat i dun wan to wash the plates cos later my hands will be veri ugly..but look like i got no choice tat day cos i haven did anything for the class..seriously i didnt reali eat and buy anything tat day cos i was just held up by the show and me, cm and kq was walking arounf the sch talking picts of ourself, just to keep as ji nian, so ended up having gastric pain tat day..
lots of ex yjcians came bac, manyt become prettier, probably becos of the make up and many dyed their dair..many of them brought their gf/bf alson and i realised tat alot of ppl are attached after they graduated..saw quite a no of shuai ge, but sad to sae, they are not mine..quite a no of gers are carrying a bouquet of flowers around the sch, given by their bf cos V day coming..seriously i think its quite sweet, but dun u think tat its veri pei seh to hold roses on the hand?hmm..id me i will hide it inside my bag..but to me, i think buying real roses abit waste the guy money cos its will die eventually and i will dump it anyway..i still prefer those flowers made of speacial paper, then at least it wont die and can be kept..anyway enough fo these le, cos i also dun have any bf..
was watching the video takenb the past few days by ms lim..seriously i look veri ugly in the video..i walways like to cover my face when the camera faces me, so most of the time i wasnt looking straight into the camera..seriously i find it funny when i see wat i am doing in the video and i realised tat i got many small actions tat me myself dun even realised until i see the video..duno why i look so blur also in every viedo, always doing the same old pose..ch was laughing at me when he saw wat i am doing in the video..yes, indeed i find it funny too..anyway everything was a nice experience..
i realised tat tat day i unknownlingly share utensils with ch when i forgot tat he is a guy cos tat time i super hungry liao, but since he dun mind, i just take and use it.normally dun share things with guys, unless tat guy is my bf..i find sharing things with guys abit unhygienic, but gers still alright..
some ex yj same age as me came bac and i heard his conversation with mr wong..i was shocked to hear tat he drives a lr in the past cos he so young, not sure if he owns one lr..anyway his face dun look like he knows how to drive..and last sat saw couples adults quarreling until veri bad and i happened to witness it at the MRT platform..at least in the past, he and me didnt quarrel unti tat bad..at most i just dun talk to him and after a few days everything will be ok le..
yesterday slep veri little, and surprising i am quite awake now..had to study for the phy test yesterday since i canot finish studying it cos b4 tat, i still went out and take my time to do my things..anyway test was difficult, not enough time also..sigh..j2 reali not easy..and todae had to sit beside shank cos mr chua put me there..i was thinking mr chua aim was to let us interact, but since he know tat we are classmates in the past, then why put us together again??seriously sitting with him reali stress me sia, he reali veri veri smart..his brain thinks reali fast..i am abit scared to sitting with him cos whenever i ask him any qns, he like so fierce and he seems like he got no patience, so i dun dare to ask so much and i will sae i know even i duno after he explains..sigh..i feel lost during chem class, probably becos i haven read up yet..
tml is V day..sad to sae have to spend time alone, maybe or with my tat grp of friends since they sae they wanted to go out tml, but i think most prob, everything will be cancelled cos tml they still got chinese..
Friday, February 10, 2006
~the CVD celebration~
todae was reali busy with the preparation..ms lim was taking our natural picts of us, which means tat she took our picts when we ourself didnt know abt it..after which she going to make it in a video and burn it to us..nice rite??i think its reali nice and memorable, at least u have some picts of how u look like when u are in jc..haha..hopefully it wouldnt be ugly..yeah man..
lately reali veri stress, find it veri hard to catch up with sch work, cos suddenly i feel like i am learning alot of new things and i find it hard to take it..not like the past, every thing wa just a revision..hai~~~next mon still got test..tml will need to go for CVD..sian..~
lately reali veri stress, find it veri hard to catch up with sch work, cos suddenly i feel like i am learning alot of new things and i find it hard to take it..not like the past, every thing wa just a revision..hai~~~next mon still got test..tml will need to go for CVD..sian..~
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
~it reali breaks my heart~
yesterday saw a rainbow on my way to sch..its just super nice..hehe, wanted to take a pict of it but i dun have a camera hp so too bad, but anyway its my first time seeing a rainbow in my whole life, chio man..haha..
i was veri distracted lately, didnt reali do much during the weekend ..was thinking abt mm, miss the day with mm when there is no sch, just concentrate on competition and no work to do, but after tat reali had a hard time catching up with work lah..but tat's was reali the nicetest time in my whole life..seriously mm is a cca tat most gusy will join but weird its gers tat rules mm..ya got lots of guys to see, but all i not interested cos tat time i onli got eyes for bc..th not at all cos i find him veri rough..ac not at all also cos just no feeling at tat time..but seriously i feel sad when bc didnt talk to me, always talking to maril..haha..but i dun like him now, tat time i was just having a crush on him..
in the past i used to be quite "popular" with qwss ppl cos they sae got one guy like me but i also never talk to him b4, or not even sae a hi b4.he is a stranger to me, initally duno his existence cos didnt even notice him at all, its onli when his friends sae then i know..haha..still rmb the day when we win the competition, we shaked hands with them but i just refused to shake hands with him cos veri pei seh, duno wat to sae also, but they pushed me and dragged me to shake hands with him..evil rite? tat time face was like tomato cos reali super damn pei seh, duno wat to sae also,anyway tat time first 3 months saw him again and i was supposed to dance with him, ya man, i got no choice..so i just anyhow and get it quickly done and i will get to change partner..actually he isnt tat bad lah cos heard some of his friends in yj telling me abt him..then i was always the one asked to borrow things from qwss cos they know me mah, but i abit shy lah..hehe..hai~~seriously why must mm be removed in yj??tat's like so sad man..if it is not removed, most likely i will join mm and continue to learn more abt mm, rather than this sian cca..but cca not tat bad afterall, still got to know someone (z), a guy, not ger this time..
yesterday chem test was like difficult..no time to doa nd my mind wasnt veri calm..so cant properly..expecting to fail this test..block test results out le, overall still not tat bad considering i never study these b4, expect gp, which is like super damn lousy..seriously quite worried abt university admission cos gp cant make it..results will be out soon, probably in 1 to 2 weeks time..i will pray hard for all my friends..will be down there to support my friends if my lessons have ended tat time..
yh was saeing tat i am a person who is easy to bully..sometimes she bully me and i didnt even realised tat..haha, maybe i too nice to ppl liao..anyway in the past, whenever i am bullied, my friends will stand up for me when i kana bully..hai~~actually sometimes i know tat i am kana bully but i always keep quiet.duno why also, by right should be mean and scold them..
chem lesson yesterday got relief teacher cos mr chua went for reservist..the teacher quite ok lah, better than mr chua and mrs lim..but i find tat his face veri fuuny arh, was commenting alot of things abt him to yh until we laughed cos we linked it to something disgusting..abt kissing..hehe..seriously i am veri scared at looking at teachers' eyes cos whenever i look at them then they will catch me to ans qns, so i always bend down my head, pretending to be thinking but actually not..sometimes just drawing picts on my paper..or sometimes just day dreaming..
look veri tired and pale yesterday cos reali not enough sleep, look like some zombie, lacking of blood..and yes my eyes bag has appeared..and its veri ugly..gers usually panick when they reach 20s cos tat time they will start to age, wrinkles will start to appear and skin will becomer yellower..so now i am starting to take care of my skin and complexion so tat in future i wont look old and ugly..
saw lr a no of times not long ago..in the past i reali believe tat seeing a lr means tat i will see mr C cos its reali true, but i dun believe now, cos i feel tat fate dun exist between us anymore..actually not veri sure how i feel for him now.is it like or not like?i reali duno seriously..sometimes just worried and concerned abt how he is doing, sometimes not at all..he broke my heart too many times whenever i came to know more things abt him..ya duno why just canot stop myself from wanting to know more abt wat he is doing now but i just find it hard..sometimes i am just thinking is it worth it to think so much abt him cos i dun think he got think abt me loh, his mind just got this ger now, but never mind, wont blame him cos cant expect him to stuck there forever..
on the contrary side, my heart has started to have a little bit of liking for this guy, should sae tat i think of mr C less often now, much of time thinking of him..hehe..actually i am observing him more and more than last time..i reali like when he smile tat time cos it look reali nice and sweet to me =) seeing him smile also makes me smile.. =) hehe..actually feeling of being a secret admirer is nice, rather than letting the guy know tat i got a little liking for him, so obviously i dun wan to know tat i am looking at him becos if one day he knows tat, then i wont like him anymore and i also duno how to face him, cant avoid him forever cos sch isnt tat big afterall..actually we dun reali talk much, cos whenever he talk to me, then i like dao him just like todae, cos reali shy to face him, duno i got blushed or not, but i reali want to talk to him, but just dun dare to face and look straight into his eyes..actually sometimes thinking of dropping hints to him but i think better not cos i ger mah, and i dun wan to take the initative, so i shall wait..i shall see whether are we reali meant for each other, and if he got any feelings for me or not..we shall see hor..but ya, look forward to the day when we will talk alot and hopefully i wont dao him liao..
i got one small wish for my birthday for this yr, not wanting any gifts or wat becos it doesnt reali matter to me, but i got one simple wish tat i have been waiting for a yr liao le..something tat has been longing for a yr liao..
this week reali busy, got lots of stuff to do, phy tests got so many topics!!!and got so many dun understand..die..and tutorial so much and this sat still got CVD..and hor, reali dun like yj loh, gave us $30 coupons and we are expected to sell everything, if any sell any then u pay for everything..hey, wat logic is this man..anyway i also duno also, should i ask my friends to come? just scared tat the bazzar will be veri lousy then later waste their money..and todae went out with them to buy cloth for banner, on the way talk alot, just came to know someone bad things..i reali hate ppl who make use and toy with ppl feelings loh, hello, u are the one in the wrong and u sae tat he has changed..i am starting to look at this person differently le, dun havce gd impression of the person anymore..
by right todae i am supposed to go home early to study for my maths test but since its so late liao, so can forget it liao..
i was veri distracted lately, didnt reali do much during the weekend ..was thinking abt mm, miss the day with mm when there is no sch, just concentrate on competition and no work to do, but after tat reali had a hard time catching up with work lah..but tat's was reali the nicetest time in my whole life..seriously mm is a cca tat most gusy will join but weird its gers tat rules mm..ya got lots of guys to see, but all i not interested cos tat time i onli got eyes for bc..th not at all cos i find him veri rough..ac not at all also cos just no feeling at tat time..but seriously i feel sad when bc didnt talk to me, always talking to maril..haha..but i dun like him now, tat time i was just having a crush on him..
in the past i used to be quite "popular" with qwss ppl cos they sae got one guy like me but i also never talk to him b4, or not even sae a hi b4.he is a stranger to me, initally duno his existence cos didnt even notice him at all, its onli when his friends sae then i know..haha..still rmb the day when we win the competition, we shaked hands with them but i just refused to shake hands with him cos veri pei seh, duno wat to sae also, but they pushed me and dragged me to shake hands with him..evil rite? tat time face was like tomato cos reali super damn pei seh, duno wat to sae also,anyway tat time first 3 months saw him again and i was supposed to dance with him, ya man, i got no choice..so i just anyhow and get it quickly done and i will get to change partner..actually he isnt tat bad lah cos heard some of his friends in yj telling me abt him..then i was always the one asked to borrow things from qwss cos they know me mah, but i abit shy lah..hehe..hai~~seriously why must mm be removed in yj??tat's like so sad man..if it is not removed, most likely i will join mm and continue to learn more abt mm, rather than this sian cca..but cca not tat bad afterall, still got to know someone (z), a guy, not ger this time..
yesterday chem test was like difficult..no time to doa nd my mind wasnt veri calm..so cant properly..expecting to fail this test..block test results out le, overall still not tat bad considering i never study these b4, expect gp, which is like super damn lousy..seriously quite worried abt university admission cos gp cant make it..results will be out soon, probably in 1 to 2 weeks time..i will pray hard for all my friends..will be down there to support my friends if my lessons have ended tat time..
yh was saeing tat i am a person who is easy to bully..sometimes she bully me and i didnt even realised tat..haha, maybe i too nice to ppl liao..anyway in the past, whenever i am bullied, my friends will stand up for me when i kana bully..hai~~actually sometimes i know tat i am kana bully but i always keep quiet.duno why also, by right should be mean and scold them..
chem lesson yesterday got relief teacher cos mr chua went for reservist..the teacher quite ok lah, better than mr chua and mrs lim..but i find tat his face veri fuuny arh, was commenting alot of things abt him to yh until we laughed cos we linked it to something disgusting..abt kissing..hehe..seriously i am veri scared at looking at teachers' eyes cos whenever i look at them then they will catch me to ans qns, so i always bend down my head, pretending to be thinking but actually not..sometimes just drawing picts on my paper..or sometimes just day dreaming..
look veri tired and pale yesterday cos reali not enough sleep, look like some zombie, lacking of blood..and yes my eyes bag has appeared..and its veri ugly..gers usually panick when they reach 20s cos tat time they will start to age, wrinkles will start to appear and skin will becomer yellower..so now i am starting to take care of my skin and complexion so tat in future i wont look old and ugly..
saw lr a no of times not long ago..in the past i reali believe tat seeing a lr means tat i will see mr C cos its reali true, but i dun believe now, cos i feel tat fate dun exist between us anymore..actually not veri sure how i feel for him now.is it like or not like?i reali duno seriously..sometimes just worried and concerned abt how he is doing, sometimes not at all..he broke my heart too many times whenever i came to know more things abt him..ya duno why just canot stop myself from wanting to know more abt wat he is doing now but i just find it hard..sometimes i am just thinking is it worth it to think so much abt him cos i dun think he got think abt me loh, his mind just got this ger now, but never mind, wont blame him cos cant expect him to stuck there forever..
on the contrary side, my heart has started to have a little bit of liking for this guy, should sae tat i think of mr C less often now, much of time thinking of him..hehe..actually i am observing him more and more than last time..i reali like when he smile tat time cos it look reali nice and sweet to me =) seeing him smile also makes me smile.. =) hehe..actually feeling of being a secret admirer is nice, rather than letting the guy know tat i got a little liking for him, so obviously i dun wan to know tat i am looking at him becos if one day he knows tat, then i wont like him anymore and i also duno how to face him, cant avoid him forever cos sch isnt tat big afterall..actually we dun reali talk much, cos whenever he talk to me, then i like dao him just like todae, cos reali shy to face him, duno i got blushed or not, but i reali want to talk to him, but just dun dare to face and look straight into his eyes..actually sometimes thinking of dropping hints to him but i think better not cos i ger mah, and i dun wan to take the initative, so i shall wait..i shall see whether are we reali meant for each other, and if he got any feelings for me or not..we shall see hor..but ya, look forward to the day when we will talk alot and hopefully i wont dao him liao..
i got one small wish for my birthday for this yr, not wanting any gifts or wat becos it doesnt reali matter to me, but i got one simple wish tat i have been waiting for a yr liao le..something tat has been longing for a yr liao..
this week reali busy, got lots of stuff to do, phy tests got so many topics!!!and got so many dun understand..die..and tutorial so much and this sat still got CVD..and hor, reali dun like yj loh, gave us $30 coupons and we are expected to sell everything, if any sell any then u pay for everything..hey, wat logic is this man..anyway i also duno also, should i ask my friends to come? just scared tat the bazzar will be veri lousy then later waste their money..and todae went out with them to buy cloth for banner, on the way talk alot, just came to know someone bad things..i reali hate ppl who make use and toy with ppl feelings loh, hello, u are the one in the wrong and u sae tat he has changed..i am starting to look at this person differently le, dun havce gd impression of the person anymore..
by right todae i am supposed to go home early to study for my maths test but since its so late liao, so can forget it liao..
Friday, February 03, 2006
~the day when sch release early!~
Todae went to town since todae no sch, just go sch for some jogathon thingy, something like cross country like tat, but seriously I didn’t run at all, walk all the way through the 3 km..seriously nobody run, most of them walked, so I just walked loh..i was walking with my 2 other classmates since the 2 of them are competitors and the other 1 need to take photos..actually todae come sch reali zhuo bo..
Then after which we went to town to eat lunch since we agreed to have some reunion dinner..went to marche to eat, it was my first visit there..quite a nice place to me, got nice setting (atmosphere) I mean..but food there abit expensive..in total was abt $43 for 6 ppl..actually we are reali scared when the money keep increasing, just scared no money to pay then die..pizza not nice at all, got some burn smell..the rest we ordered quite ok..after tat went to shop in hereen a while, then got some ppl approached us to ask us if we are willing to appear on tv to give some comments on some V day thingy..obviously we didn’t want cos none of us wanted to appear on tv..after tat went home le, quite a tiring day for me even though I didn’t reali run todae.
Then after which we went to town to eat lunch since we agreed to have some reunion dinner..went to marche to eat, it was my first visit there..quite a nice place to me, got nice setting (atmosphere) I mean..but food there abit expensive..in total was abt $43 for 6 ppl..actually we are reali scared when the money keep increasing, just scared no money to pay then die..pizza not nice at all, got some burn smell..the rest we ordered quite ok..after tat went to shop in hereen a while, then got some ppl approached us to ask us if we are willing to appear on tv to give some comments on some V day thingy..obviously we didn’t want cos none of us wanted to appear on tv..after tat went home le, quite a tiring day for me even though I didn’t reali run todae.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
~interesting to know how young guys think nowadays~
interesting to know how young guys think nowadays..haha i am interested in how my brother thinks..if one day i caught him red handed then he die man, i will report to my parents and he shall die..who ask me to sa bo me so many times liao..but til now i canot catch him red handed..never mind, i shall just be patient, i believe tat one day he will be kana caught by me..
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
~CNY events~
fri was just super pissed and freak out cos i intended to meet my mum in the afternoon, but tat day the stupid bus come so slow and i waited for 40 mins and not a single bus was to be seen, obviously i was veri pissed cos i am rushing for time liao..and tat day my bag was just super heavy and i carry until my bac was so tired.and i am so sway tat my hp run out of battand i saved my mum's hp no into my hp so i had to call my brother instead to tell him to ask my mum to find me instead..then my stupid mother keep scolding me when she see me, saying tat i take my own sweet time to travel there, but tat was not my fault wat, its not bus who take so long to come, so obviously i was angry becos she is just unreasonable and i quarrelled with her and end up i was the one crying..yi jie mum was down there watching us quarrel and she kept quiet..she also know tat my mum's mood not veri gd..she told me not to argue bac, just let her sae all she wants and she will keep quiet..tat day still saw hui ling, my sec sch friend, who used to play mouse together in the past..she didnt changed much, but i guess she looked puzzled when i was wearing my sch uniform but i guess the ans is obvious..i think after i graduate, chances of seeing my jc friends are just veri little..
then yi jie also came tat day to help his mama carry all those stuff home..think he super guai loh, if me i will complain and grumble like anything..anyway he reali did slim down alot, actually quite like his build and height, but complexion and hair style still need improvements =)..we didnt talk at all, was just feeling awkward..he was walking behind me and iw as walking behind the 2 of them..
sat went out with my family members to chinatown..by the time we reached home was 1.30am liao and tat dat i slept at 4am..pro rite?duno wat i do also, maybe i alwaya take my time to pack my things ba..tat day was reali packed with ppl, hardly got space to move abt..my brother is just super tall, 1.83m, just in case canot find him then see the one with a head popping out of the crowd, then confirm know tat the guy is my brother le..my dad's friend look highly upon him when we go visiting cos he from NJ mah..me from YJ obviously not tat gd mah, somemore i once used to be a retainnee, naturally ppl will steoreotype, but never mind i wont take it to heart one cos if i am my other ppl's shoes i will also stereotype also..wat to do, this is the true side of society..then one of the auntie working together with my dad suddenly become so nice to my brother, gave him quite alot of expensive clothes, initally we duno wat's her motive but later came to a conclusion tat she want my brother to tutor her children..so my brother is highly in demand, but i wont deny tat he is reali smart, taking 2 special papers plus 4 subjects, if i were him, i reali couldnt cope, but on the flip side, he character reali sucks..
CNY eve bought lots of taiwan jelly guo dong and muah ji cos its reali super damn cheap lah..initially was $3, but 5 sec later became $2 cos no one want to buy from him, but tat;s was reali fast..another one is a competition for how much you can squeeze the jelly into one plastic bag..so this must use a bit of brain then there will be as little space in between, then can squeeze more..ya, sounds abit kiasu, but saw a no of them stealing alot and put them into their own bag..at least i am more honest than them, at least i still pay for wat i take..tat nite we were rushing to see the fireworks cos my aim of going there is to see fireworks mah..seriously the fireworks super damn chio and nice..atmosphere of watching it at home is totally different from watching live over there..but seriously the fireworks stinks, cos i was standing quite near, duno wat chemicals they use, but the gas can reali make you chocked..and ya tat day saw ms felica seah with her hubby, both of them were wearing the same shirt//to me call "couple shirts"..haha, sweet rite?her hubby dun look tall to me, abt the same height as me or just slightly taller than me, but they two look veri cute and loving when i saw the,..haha, teachers actually do have another side which we seldom get to see..
CNY my parents keep quarreling abt some money and they keep mentioning the word "Divorce"..aiya they sae for duno how many yrs liao dun even see any actions taken..actually is my mum who is unreasonable...she keep finding fault with us, but whatever lah, i just become angry and scold her then later heck care abt her..actually i reali pity my dad, whenever he sae tat he scared tat he canot bring us finish the road to university, then i will start crying abit cos reali scared tat he will go one day..sometimes i feel tat he alone reali need to uphold alot of resposiblilty, actually its quite hard on him also..he told me tat tat his wish is to see me complete my grade 8 piano..i still got one more level to go, but seriously speaking i dun like playing piano but i was forced to since i was young, so no choice, die die also must finish this level....ya, actually i like my dad more than my mum even though we spend less time together..hai~reali hope tat he can live up to ripe age, hopefully can see the day when i get married, probably getting to carry grandchildren cos i know tat he dote alot on children..ya then on mon super lucky.."got $300 drop from the sky but in turn my brother lost $110"..earned quite abit but abit also heart pain cos lost money suddenly..
mon somewhere during midnite was replying zr msg cos didnt switch on my hp earlier on, when he msg me early in the afternoon..abit pei seh for taking SO LONG to reply..haha, but never mind since i think he wont mind one..somehow chatted until 1.30 am until i canot tahan cos i am falling asleep le..this guy veri optismistic to me and quite guai also..not like my brother, they are just 2 extreme ends..maybe i shouldnt stereotype ypunger guys tat they are childish..actually he doesnt seems childish me, veri obdient towards mama, not like me always quarrel with my mum, jst canot stand her..i have a home but always dun want to go home..but weird, this yr became abit closer with zr even though last yr we same cca..probably we same banding class for this yr ba and so everyday without will see each other in class..on the other hand, we are not tat close with "banana" now becos of the different banding groups now..but at least this yr is gd, at least we can make new friends, instead of seeing those same old ppl..like tat will be abit sian..but i abit dun like the idea of keep changing partner everytime during chem lesson, somehow i always feel like i am sitting beside a stranger..actually can choose to sit with ppl tat i know from other class, but majority are guys, so can forget abt it..unless they want to sit beside me, then i wouldnt mind..the onli ger tat i know is xin yi and dun think i want to sit beside her becos whenever i see her talk, i will laugh at her cos just find her veri funny and cartoon..and ya i realised tat hp canot be kept beside u cos its reali super distracting..after 1.5hrs i am still stucj with where i have started, which is pretty bad..at this rate canot finish doing my things on time cos i do things super slow..
yesterday sch just reopen after so many days of holidays, then hor i so "Lucky" to kana bird shit on my hands and skirt on the way to sch and its in yishun!!initally i still duno, then later felt tat why is it so watery arh and some green freen disgusting thing on my skirt and hand..later then came to know tat and obviously i was cursing the bird for anyhow shitting and not knowing how to aim properly..my day was spoilt becos i felt so dirty and my skirt look super ugly after i wash it cos there is some patch tat cant be washed..
we all are talking abt some V day stuff yesterday,,they asked me if i am available tat day..i thought the ans is obvious..unless tat day got ppl ask me out then i will be occupied..but seriously V day tat day i will be quite free cos sch ends veri early tat day..so far the 2 of them not occupied yet, but yh yes, but she dun want to go unless no one else wants to date her..actually i think the guy abit "Fann" cos he just talk non talk, like some gu niang..i ger also never talk tat much as him..
yh was teasing me of something..and she said she managed to deduce something from tat person, which i think not quite true becos even i am not certain at all , or should i sae tat i duno at all loh, then wat makes her think so tat she is rite?she asked me one qn and seriously i duno the ans to it..should i sae such thing are veri "Fann" to me, just dun feel like thinking abt it, wait till the person reali sae out and if there will be tat day, then i will start thinking of it, otherwise i will be just too tired to think abt it..i am just veri happy living day by day just like tat..
phy lessons was veri sian yesterday, dun reali understand wat she talking man..so i just talk to ppl, then see ppl eye lashes from their side view, then their eyes and nose..i like ppl who have double eyelid and sharp nose, then i will always look at their nice features..duno why i always like to look at ppl's features when i am bored becos seriously there is reali nothing for me to see around, teacher too old and she is not fahionable at all, so nothing nice to see..i realised tat li ting got super damn long eye lashes, if she put on lots of mascara confirm will look nice, then john's gf look like snow white cos she super fair, sweet and small size, veri cute..AJ got super long eye lash also, considering tat he is a guy and is natural curl, so its reali not bad liao..anyway whoever have his eyelash will look nice..so far these are the ppl whom i noticed are the unique ones, the rest average..
todae gave teacher the donation card liao..its reali super little money cos i didnt ask around..all my relatives also not in singapore, they all in indonesia, so cant expect me to fly there to ask them donate mah, then father side can forget it, cos we dun talk at all..so how can i ask ppl to donate?friends also dun wan, u think they got too much money to spare meh?my mum is super niao loh, father no money cos give all his money to my mother liao.. ms lim was like saeing ppl who didnt put in effort to ask ppl to donate and i was one of them..i didnt lie to her tat i didnt out in effort at all cos i find tat she is a nice teacher, will feel guilty if i lie to her..but she didnt scold me, so i just listen to her "nagging"..i think 3 ppl in our class has the same lowest donation..abit guilty now..but seriously dun reali like this sch up to now, i just dun have any fate with this sch..i still like jj..i dun feel any sense of belonging to this sch leh but jj got, just duno why..
seriously ma and lina felt like we are transparent in this cca after since we changed to tat grp..i reali hope can get out of tat cca as quickly as possible..CVD tat day lina wont be around cos she got some stuff to do..sigh~tat day will be working alone..sian man..
todae reali super sway loh, some accident happened in class, actually is my fault lah, cant reali blame him..but worst thing is tat he stare at me when that incident happen..intially i still wanted to gei siao, pretending tat nothing happens but since he saw the ger is me then i faster go out of the class just to cover my embarrassment..wa reali super pei seh, lucky he didnt sae sorry or anything..anyway i also dun want him to sae sorry, i shall just take tat nothing has happens..sometimes such things also happen to me outside also, but i everytime gei siao, cos if i stare then the person will know already..aiya in all to sae i am sway today..seriously tat yh keep telling ppl abt tat thing and its reali annoying loh, cos wat if things isnt like wat i thought then will be super pei seh loh..she talk to much crap and add alot of unnecessary details..if the person know then i die man..duno where to hide my face also, shall just dug a hole and put my face inside man..and todae got one veri interesting news on some butt line, guys confirm will be veri interested to see and read this news..haha..anyway we are reading in class and mr sim saw it, haha, obviously abit pei seh cos we are looking at some dirty stuff..
seriously this few days reali not mood, i am just feeling veri lazy to do anything..todae morning super blur man and someone did sae tat..just cant open my eyes to look in the correct direction..i am walking one way and i am looking at another way..
then yi jie also came tat day to help his mama carry all those stuff home..think he super guai loh, if me i will complain and grumble like anything..anyway he reali did slim down alot, actually quite like his build and height, but complexion and hair style still need improvements =)..we didnt talk at all, was just feeling awkward..he was walking behind me and iw as walking behind the 2 of them..
sat went out with my family members to chinatown..by the time we reached home was 1.30am liao and tat dat i slept at 4am..pro rite?duno wat i do also, maybe i alwaya take my time to pack my things ba..tat day was reali packed with ppl, hardly got space to move abt..my brother is just super tall, 1.83m, just in case canot find him then see the one with a head popping out of the crowd, then confirm know tat the guy is my brother le..my dad's friend look highly upon him when we go visiting cos he from NJ mah..me from YJ obviously not tat gd mah, somemore i once used to be a retainnee, naturally ppl will steoreotype, but never mind i wont take it to heart one cos if i am my other ppl's shoes i will also stereotype also..wat to do, this is the true side of society..then one of the auntie working together with my dad suddenly become so nice to my brother, gave him quite alot of expensive clothes, initally we duno wat's her motive but later came to a conclusion tat she want my brother to tutor her children..so my brother is highly in demand, but i wont deny tat he is reali smart, taking 2 special papers plus 4 subjects, if i were him, i reali couldnt cope, but on the flip side, he character reali sucks..
CNY eve bought lots of taiwan jelly guo dong and muah ji cos its reali super damn cheap lah..initially was $3, but 5 sec later became $2 cos no one want to buy from him, but tat;s was reali fast..another one is a competition for how much you can squeeze the jelly into one plastic bag..so this must use a bit of brain then there will be as little space in between, then can squeeze more..ya, sounds abit kiasu, but saw a no of them stealing alot and put them into their own bag..at least i am more honest than them, at least i still pay for wat i take..tat nite we were rushing to see the fireworks cos my aim of going there is to see fireworks mah..seriously the fireworks super damn chio and nice..atmosphere of watching it at home is totally different from watching live over there..but seriously the fireworks stinks, cos i was standing quite near, duno wat chemicals they use, but the gas can reali make you chocked..and ya tat day saw ms felica seah with her hubby, both of them were wearing the same shirt//to me call "couple shirts"..haha, sweet rite?her hubby dun look tall to me, abt the same height as me or just slightly taller than me, but they two look veri cute and loving when i saw the,..haha, teachers actually do have another side which we seldom get to see..
CNY my parents keep quarreling abt some money and they keep mentioning the word "Divorce"..aiya they sae for duno how many yrs liao dun even see any actions taken..actually is my mum who is unreasonable...she keep finding fault with us, but whatever lah, i just become angry and scold her then later heck care abt her..actually i reali pity my dad, whenever he sae tat he scared tat he canot bring us finish the road to university, then i will start crying abit cos reali scared tat he will go one day..sometimes i feel tat he alone reali need to uphold alot of resposiblilty, actually its quite hard on him also..he told me tat tat his wish is to see me complete my grade 8 piano..i still got one more level to go, but seriously speaking i dun like playing piano but i was forced to since i was young, so no choice, die die also must finish this level....ya, actually i like my dad more than my mum even though we spend less time together..hai~reali hope tat he can live up to ripe age, hopefully can see the day when i get married, probably getting to carry grandchildren cos i know tat he dote alot on children..ya then on mon super lucky.."got $300 drop from the sky but in turn my brother lost $110"..earned quite abit but abit also heart pain cos lost money suddenly..
mon somewhere during midnite was replying zr msg cos didnt switch on my hp earlier on, when he msg me early in the afternoon..abit pei seh for taking SO LONG to reply..haha, but never mind since i think he wont mind one..somehow chatted until 1.30 am until i canot tahan cos i am falling asleep le..this guy veri optismistic to me and quite guai also..not like my brother, they are just 2 extreme ends..maybe i shouldnt stereotype ypunger guys tat they are childish..actually he doesnt seems childish me, veri obdient towards mama, not like me always quarrel with my mum, jst canot stand her..i have a home but always dun want to go home..but weird, this yr became abit closer with zr even though last yr we same cca..probably we same banding class for this yr ba and so everyday without will see each other in class..on the other hand, we are not tat close with "banana" now becos of the different banding groups now..but at least this yr is gd, at least we can make new friends, instead of seeing those same old ppl..like tat will be abit sian..but i abit dun like the idea of keep changing partner everytime during chem lesson, somehow i always feel like i am sitting beside a stranger..actually can choose to sit with ppl tat i know from other class, but majority are guys, so can forget abt it..unless they want to sit beside me, then i wouldnt mind..the onli ger tat i know is xin yi and dun think i want to sit beside her becos whenever i see her talk, i will laugh at her cos just find her veri funny and cartoon..and ya i realised tat hp canot be kept beside u cos its reali super distracting..after 1.5hrs i am still stucj with where i have started, which is pretty bad..at this rate canot finish doing my things on time cos i do things super slow..
yesterday sch just reopen after so many days of holidays, then hor i so "Lucky" to kana bird shit on my hands and skirt on the way to sch and its in yishun!!initally i still duno, then later felt tat why is it so watery arh and some green freen disgusting thing on my skirt and hand..later then came to know tat and obviously i was cursing the bird for anyhow shitting and not knowing how to aim properly..my day was spoilt becos i felt so dirty and my skirt look super ugly after i wash it cos there is some patch tat cant be washed..
we all are talking abt some V day stuff yesterday,,they asked me if i am available tat day..i thought the ans is obvious..unless tat day got ppl ask me out then i will be occupied..but seriously V day tat day i will be quite free cos sch ends veri early tat day..so far the 2 of them not occupied yet, but yh yes, but she dun want to go unless no one else wants to date her..actually i think the guy abit "Fann" cos he just talk non talk, like some gu niang..i ger also never talk tat much as him..
yh was teasing me of something..and she said she managed to deduce something from tat person, which i think not quite true becos even i am not certain at all , or should i sae tat i duno at all loh, then wat makes her think so tat she is rite?she asked me one qn and seriously i duno the ans to it..should i sae such thing are veri "Fann" to me, just dun feel like thinking abt it, wait till the person reali sae out and if there will be tat day, then i will start thinking of it, otherwise i will be just too tired to think abt it..i am just veri happy living day by day just like tat..
phy lessons was veri sian yesterday, dun reali understand wat she talking man..so i just talk to ppl, then see ppl eye lashes from their side view, then their eyes and nose..i like ppl who have double eyelid and sharp nose, then i will always look at their nice features..duno why i always like to look at ppl's features when i am bored becos seriously there is reali nothing for me to see around, teacher too old and she is not fahionable at all, so nothing nice to see..i realised tat li ting got super damn long eye lashes, if she put on lots of mascara confirm will look nice, then john's gf look like snow white cos she super fair, sweet and small size, veri cute..AJ got super long eye lash also, considering tat he is a guy and is natural curl, so its reali not bad liao..anyway whoever have his eyelash will look nice..so far these are the ppl whom i noticed are the unique ones, the rest average..
todae gave teacher the donation card liao..its reali super little money cos i didnt ask around..all my relatives also not in singapore, they all in indonesia, so cant expect me to fly there to ask them donate mah, then father side can forget it, cos we dun talk at all..so how can i ask ppl to donate?friends also dun wan, u think they got too much money to spare meh?my mum is super niao loh, father no money cos give all his money to my mother liao.. ms lim was like saeing ppl who didnt put in effort to ask ppl to donate and i was one of them..i didnt lie to her tat i didnt out in effort at all cos i find tat she is a nice teacher, will feel guilty if i lie to her..but she didnt scold me, so i just listen to her "nagging"..i think 3 ppl in our class has the same lowest donation..abit guilty now..but seriously dun reali like this sch up to now, i just dun have any fate with this sch..i still like jj..i dun feel any sense of belonging to this sch leh but jj got, just duno why..
seriously ma and lina felt like we are transparent in this cca after since we changed to tat grp..i reali hope can get out of tat cca as quickly as possible..CVD tat day lina wont be around cos she got some stuff to do..sigh~tat day will be working alone..sian man..
todae reali super sway loh, some accident happened in class, actually is my fault lah, cant reali blame him..but worst thing is tat he stare at me when that incident happen..intially i still wanted to gei siao, pretending tat nothing happens but since he saw the ger is me then i faster go out of the class just to cover my embarrassment..wa reali super pei seh, lucky he didnt sae sorry or anything..anyway i also dun want him to sae sorry, i shall just take tat nothing has happens..sometimes such things also happen to me outside also, but i everytime gei siao, cos if i stare then the person will know already..aiya in all to sae i am sway today..seriously tat yh keep telling ppl abt tat thing and its reali annoying loh, cos wat if things isnt like wat i thought then will be super pei seh loh..she talk to much crap and add alot of unnecessary details..if the person know then i die man..duno where to hide my face also, shall just dug a hole and put my face inside man..and todae got one veri interesting news on some butt line, guys confirm will be veri interested to see and read this news..haha..anyway we are reading in class and mr sim saw it, haha, obviously abit pei seh cos we are looking at some dirty stuff..
seriously this few days reali not mood, i am just feeling veri lazy to do anything..todae morning super blur man and someone did sae tat..just cant open my eyes to look in the correct direction..i am walking one way and i am looking at another way..
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