Tuesday, February 21, 2006

~part of the heart?gone?~

weekend reali veri busy, was rushing to do all my past tutorial tat i haven done previously..seriously i feel veri tired, why do i feel tat there is a sudden jump from j1 to j2..sometimes just couldnt take this jump..some ppl still got time to watch tv and go ou on weekends, but seriously i got no time for tat..watching tv still got abit, but going out wise, reali hardly unless got some impt things tat need me to go out or either during holidays then i got time to go out with friends..normal days reali seldom..
was helping my dad to cut hair since he asked me to cut for him even though he dun mind tat later i cut until veri ugly..actually wasnted to take up courses on hairdressing cos got abit interest in it, but it gets u no where if u want to make a living..last time, thought of taking up maths courses in univeristy, but looks like i want to change my choice again cos its boring and not much jobs available related to maths..i shall make being a teacher as my last restort..
weekend has been looking alot of times at my hp, hopping tat HE will msg me, hai~but sad to sae dun have..actually i also duno wat i thinking also..who does my heart actually think abt?sigh..even i also duno the ans to it..
its going to be a yr le, soon in abt 1.5 months, i think..time reali flies, duno why i take to forget a person either when others can do it easily, and i take reali long to recover cos recovery process isnt easy at all when u are all alone..thus, i tell myself tat the next one shall be my last one in my life..cos just dun want to get hurt again, niether do i want to hurt others..so in future need to think carefully over things and not to be rash abt anything, esp when talking abt things regarding relationship..part of my heart still lies with him and slightly some part of the heart are occupied by another person..but my heart isnt 100% used up, not like in the past when i am in a relationship tat time..in fact, i should sae tat less than half of my heart used up..i also got no idea who do i like exactly, is it him or him>?i want to remain wat i said in the past, but looks like i should not wait anymore..seriously sometimes i find myself quite hopeless..friends did ask me to forget him but wo zhuo bu dao..not i dun wan..whenever my brother mentioned abt him, i will start to think of him again..seriously i still duno if wat i dreamt in my dream will ever come true or not..cos it seems it is drifting further away from me le..wanted to find excuses to talk to him, but i got no gd reason..=(
sometimes whenever i go home late will see an ah por sitting at the bus stop smiling and waving at ppl who are alighting from the bus..sometimes feel veri kelian for her, duno who so mean to dump her there at nite..i always got smile bac and wave bac cos reali pity her..will always turn bac to look at her when i crossing the road..
sat with the mymmar boy yesterday, shall him "mao mao" cos his name has one "Mao"..think he quite smart, even though last time used to thought tat he isnt tat smart when we used to be in band 3..ren bu ke mao xiang..and duno why realised tat so many guys dun shave their moustache clean..and i find it veri ugly.."mao mao", johnathon, john are just 3 eg tat i can find..and todae super funny cos mr chua was saeing tat the guy in my class was making his moustache from the start of the lesson to the end of the lesson..
todae had 2hrs of pe lesson, so tired like anything..and todae decided to find mdm ho to teach me physic..seriously i still canot wat she talking after finding her, but i dun dare to sae i duno cos scared later she fed up with her for being so stupid..duno why up to now, she still thought tat i am china student..dots dots.-diao- fair doesnt equal to china student..anyway dun like ppl calling me china student, find it an insult..
die, thur got chem exam..so many to memorized..sian..

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