~super super stress~

last wkend i didnt study much lei...i thought sat i would study but end up i didnt study at all..sian la cos i slept for 3hrs cos i was damn shagged after doing 8 hrs of lab..then after tat when i wanted to packed my cupboard i was totally stunned when my hairspray suddenly leaked so practically the whole hairspray messed up my whole cupboard..damn ! i had a hard time cleaning the whole cupboard cos its stink and my whole cupboard gt totally messed up esp the smelll is damn stinko now...and all my papers in the cupboard is totally soaked now..wah seriously i see liao reali damn sian diao and kinda pissed cos i already quite stress liao then this stupid hairspray messed up my cupboard..wah then i spend like 4 hrs clearing up this stupid cupboard..then end up at nite watch tv then the day is just gone !

sun i spend most of the time sleeping again..wah sian whole day onli sleep onli...then ytd then i start to piah but its too late ! i realised tat i just got too much study...sian lei recently i damn stress lei...nxt wk got 4 test in 2 days..wah this is seriously killing me la..and i keep dropping hair recently, which makes me reali panic now la..cos i dun wan to be bald !

and ytd my mum says she is coming bac this sat..sian ! my freedom is gone again but then go also la..my house seriously needs cleaning now..the house is totally in a mess now..seriously...dad just keep making the house so dirty til i kinda pissed cleaning it over and over again..cos once i cleaned my the mess he will messed up the house again..haiz...and sat i tried to wash the toilet drain, wah seriously it stinks ! didnt know it cant be tat stinko... !

haiz this wk i gonna jia you le..giv me more strength man ! and sian my bday coming soon..which means exams coming soon...but i reali hope mr L will drop me a bday msg...but yeah tink i must be dreaming too much ! haiz...

~i am damn shagged now~

yawns yawns yawns..i finally finised my 2 lab reports after 7.5hrs..i am seriously damn shagged now..haven sleep yet...i shall sleep soon..since ytd i was kinda guilty that i went to expo for the loreal fair so bo bian to make up for my guiltyness i decided to piah my lab report finish til today morning ! wah first time i can survive through the nite man..not bad ! ytd saw so many loreal products on sales la...but all need to buy in bulk so i abit sian diao liao man cos i dun wan to buy 4 for $20 cos its too much so ended up i bought a slimming cellutiute for $10 and 2 hair dye for $10..super duper cheap man..and the cosmestic i was damn tempted to buy de...but buy 4 for $20 kinda abit waste money cos i know i wont use tat much..sian go all the way initally wanted to buy all these cosmestic de, but end up buying stuff tat i nv intended to buy..alright and i am seriously damn shagged now..tonite have to piah polymer test le..so many many tests coming up..yawns man..

~so stress as usual~

yawns so many many things to do..tech comp...i cant imagine me spending 4 hrs just to write an abtract cos i try not to giv ppl crap work cos i understand the feeling..so yeah although its just 150 words i tried to give my best shot..cos i already feel already very bad tat i did so little liao..hmmm anyway this wkend i did nothing much sia..so sad la..i intend to do so may stuff end up nv did anything cos i slack and sleep alot and watch alot of tv...haiz haizzz...and now my mind is just thought of this mr L when i am sian..hope i can see him soon sia..but i tink its gonna be months from now.,.so sad la..actually this yr my hope is to hope tat............but then i tink its kinda impossible de la..just like how me and mr A..cos both of us are just worlds apart..but i always believe they are sure to be a mirical like me and mr A..

there will be more and more test coming up...yawns......

~stress recently~

yawns this entire wk i am just freaking busy..seriously duno why sia..and i am damn stress cos so many things to do and some more my online lect are seriously piling up ! and the thing is i still need to work, teach piano..3 days of my wkday everyweek is gone, so only left 2 days during the wkday to study everywk..so busy ! and lab report is just freaking wasting my time...and now everyday dad keep fann-ing me non stop abt my brother..he always ask the same qn everyday i stepped home.." so did u managed to talk to my brother today or not.." then my ans would always be the same cos seriously lo my brother say he reali no need money then he keep on insisting to send him money cos my brother still got money in his sg bank and he wont take out anyway cos he told me its expensive..wah seriously lo everyday i hear him ask same qn til i kinda feels irratated..

haiz and this wkend tink i gonna to piah so much stuff..super lagging behind liao and i reali do feel stress..i hope mum dun come bac so fast man..cos having her at home is just fann..i feels so much happy at home with her not ard..

~sometimes things arent that easy and simple ~

wed was busy wif online lect again..wat the hell..seriously no life..haiz...then ytd was busy practically the entire day...busy wif work, studies and helping ppl solve their relationship problems..sometimes i do envy ppl who are together for yrs cos i feel tat its not easy at all..SERIOUSLY..its not easy to stay together for many many yrs esp when as yrs goes by, u will get sian of each other...so yeah but then its always not a fun thing when problems start to arise..somewat i am able to understand wat he is worried abt and the things that his gf dun reali understand the real underlying meaning..cos afterall i hav been through this stage..come on man, mr A is so much more older than me in the past, how can i understand now...i guess i have level up pretty alot after all these yrs..so i guess the bo chap qm wont repeat history again if she were to get attached again..cos last time i was just super bo chap and ignorance of everything..

haiz but then its hard to get a chance to talk to this guy that mesmerised me..i dun reali feel for him, but i do have more interest to know more abt him as compared to other guys..i duno why either..probably his way of communication and talking is just very very different from most guys ba..though he is just an old older than me, but somehow the feel is tat he is very mature in tinking..i guess this is wat i have been looking for..and his ang mo is reali WOW..haiz duno how many months i can then see him again.. ;(

wkend i gonna piah my 05 liao..sian super stress for this module cos i know nuts..and i am serious ! duno why when i am serious in talking, no one talks me seriously and ppl will take my words as joking or just talking some crap..somewat sometimes i feel this is the bad point of a happy go lucky personality cos ppl wont take u seriously at all..

and ytd was very worried for my bro cos i tink my dad onli left $200 each month for his daily expenses cos his monthly rental already cost $1200+ and his scholoarship coverage is onli $1400..so yeah my dad couldnt sleep the entire nite cos he duno how to help my bro..though he didnt say tat and i can see tat he is kinda worried from his expressions la..haiz wat can i do man..i guess when u are out to study aboard, u will learn to be independent and u have to by hook or crook learn to survive even though its gonna be hard..hope my bro will survive this through...and on the other hand, my mum has totally gone MIA sia..duno where is she now sia..i msg my auntie, she didnt replied me at all..then my dad was worried also..haiz..guess lately my dad is full of troubles..

~rarr rarr so angry and pissed off now ~!

fri came bac sch for the singing elective..not to say again i knew it tat my singing suxs and i was right..the teacher commented that i need to improve on my breathing techniques..yes i know tat i dun have tat bao fa li in singing cos i dun have a wide singing range...pls la i gt abit music background i roughly know how cui my singing would be..but then i tink this singing elective is reali either u are gifted or either u do well or cant do well de..tat day when i stood infront of the stage, i was true indeed shivering while i was singing..but then after tat i became more calm, but still my singing reali suxs compared to my classmates lei..hai i reali very sian now man..sometimes i reali dun like things to be too results orientated man.,.everything also RESULTS RESULTS and RESULTS..rarrrr.....

then fri i was pretty focus wif online lectures AGAIN..haiz my uni life is always revolved around online lectures..sian lei i reali very sick of this kind of life liao man..then sat and sun i started to mug my elective and somewat i become more hardworking cos i realised the holiday is ending. and i need to be more serious liao..and clear my 05 now cos i super gan jiong abt this module cos i reali know nuts abt this module..i seriously need to jiayou liao ! sat i was busy highlight-ing my hair and apparently it became dye instead of highlight cos my skills are lousy..lohz..anyway i tink gt dye and no dye like reali no diff man..

anyway today is my elective test and i tried to stay awake the whole nite ytd to study but apparently i cant cos i keep falling asleep..so end up i have to pon lecture to finish recap-ing though i already study finish liao..but then apparently i dun rmb anything after i study..haiz somewat now i reali feel no security in everything i do lei...no confidence, no faith in myself..no FUTURE, everything also dun have...haiz haiz super emo and stress now..things so many many piling up..all i feel like doing now is to go for a holiday to destress...

and now i super pissed off cos of my elective cos i tink my elective sure very cui man..time totally not enough...wat the hell man...40 mcqs in half and hour..who the hell can tink carefully man and some more all the choices given all quite close de..wa lao i feel damn hopeless now man..and today my student's mum credited $50 to me for cny ang bao..wah i reali feel very bad and guilty abt it cos it seems tat the student never improve her performance at all for the past 2 yrs..her playing is still equally cui but then of cos i cant tell her tat "Hey melody ur playing still cant make it la..of cos as a teacher i gonna encouraged and motivate her to learn.." but yeah i reali feels bad abt it esp when her mum so nice to me..

haiz tml time to chiong again..i reali feel very tired now lei !!!!!!!!!! i hope he will talk to me now man..haiz but then impossible de man..stop dreaming man..and ytd my clique was sitting in can 2 having western then they started asking abt playmate..looks like i reali dun like him le man cos how can i feel nothing when i nv see him for almost a month..i dun miss him at all, neither did i go to see him..yeah i guess so ba..aiya maybe he is just not the right one..so yeah abit hard to continue to like him cos i cant find any special reason that i can fall for him except for his gd looks at first look..or either everything is just too draggy le and its kinda impossible to further on anything..

~stress~

hai hai so many many things to do yet no time..wat am i doing man ! ytd was damn damn shagged cos i piah all the shows online til i sacrificse my sleep then end up during project meeting i fall asleep..lohz..cos cant tahan man..then ytd did nothing cos once i reached home i fell asleep totally..yes ! i am totally drained..sian later is my singing "test"...i didnt practise much..sian aiya i just treat as singing kbox liao..and now i am reali damn staged fright..totally man..

and hor recently this guy sudden get attached..my jaw reali DOPPRED sia..SERIOUS ! omg ! ok i must buck liao..sometimes i reali very sian one lei, esp when our clique have some dinner then they will bring their other half..then since i no bf then who sia..if bring guy friends along also abit weird also cos ppl will misunderstand..lohz..hai i duno la, dun feel like thinking abt it now..alrights i will try to think of opporunity to talk to this memerising guy that has memerised me..i shall call him uncle low since he so naggy..haha

~i am totally drained now ~

oh man i cant believe i spend the whole nite watching my favourite hai pai drama..gosh its seriously damn addictive cos once i start watching then cant stop liao and i almost cried when i watch tat drama..cos da lang is just too naive and if such guys really does exist how wonderful it will be man..sian i was supposed to listen online lect and finish up my 2 lab reports de,..but then i onli did my lab reports..sian ! and today mum is away le ! whee somewat i feel nothing cos anyway i am usually not at home one..i am neither happy either..in fact i have no feelings..soon i will going up to meet up to do project liao..sian ! my tues i haven study yet and my 05 when do i have the time to catch up !

~so stress even in holiday recess wk !~

rarr..this holiday wk damn stress sia..i gt so many things to accomplised..but yet i forever like no time one..sat, sun,mon i spend these days listening to one-2 online lects everyday and after which i did nothing.so its kinda not effective at all..sian la the once i online i will slacked alot cos i wil go online watch taiwan dramas then the time will just creep off discretly without me knowing..haiz haiz haiz..and ytd went out the whole day so i tink i seriously need a break from everything la..super stress so many things to catch up and it seems tat 24 hrs also not enough for me..so yeah ytd met up wif jiahua to cut hair and my hair now is damn short now..sian tink need to let it grow for one or 2 wks then maybe will be nicer cos the shape is still not reali out yet..then after which went to vivo to meet ch..so we catched a movie and after which had fast food for dinner..and ytd i duno if i was lucky or wat..someone left his blackberry phone and wallet in the fast food and apparently i saw it..if ch wasnt there then tat blackberry phone will confirm be mine already..but anyway he is nice to return the person the phone and wallet la..but yeah i am confirm not as nice as him la..so since it was still early so i went to the roof top there to chill and chat abt our inner thoughts..apparently ytd the whole nite our topic just revolve abt relationships..yeah he told me he regretted didnt accepting this girl during army cos tat ger's look is kinda cui..LOHz..see la so wat's the moral of the story..one should nv be so superfical and go for looks and neglect abt the importance of character..now he say thinking bac he feels tat the girl is reali very devoted and have nice character..but too bad she is really attached when he wanted to jio her bac..so all i can say is, nice girls are always on hot demand..its just a matter of time as to when she will get attached nia..aiya but serously i didnt know ch goes for looks til ytd he spelt out so much things abt him..yeah but then as usual i told him abit of my story..as in the guys i looking for..and i did told him tat my expectations are kinda abit high though..but tat's not i wanted de, cos mr A already sets the standard there..so yeah tat explains why i am still single and available..but tat's not the issue la..i dun reali care if i am old and still single cos i just wan to find the sec and last one..tat's all..so yeah i will just take my time..somewat ytd i feel a sudden impluse to feel him tat i did have a crush on him..but heng i didnt cos i just wan to spur him up as to give him more confidence to jio gers ma..cos i feels tat he tink tat he is very cui which is not the case..cos i tink he has a very nice character..but heng la i nv tell him..but i bit around the bush to tell him tat actually i tink he not bad one..so yeah at least its better than saying " hey ch actually many yrs bac i did have a crush on u, but just tat i didnt wan u to know onli.." yeah of cos the first one sounds better ma..so sometimes i reali can do things on impulse one..and heng tat time i didnt tell playmate abt my inner thoughts..cos up to now i reali feel tat he is just not the right one..so yeah at least heng i haven say cos i scared once i take bac my words ppl will tink i am very fickle minded..which i feel i am at certain times..but i am fickle cos i just feel tat if u are not the one, why still bother to waste time..instead should just move on ma..duno la tat's just my way of thinking..perhaps it might be wrong..or maybe i just need someone to guide me ;)

anyway time to stress again..i gt 2 lab reports to clear and tests to study..sian ! and tonite my mum is leaving sg and it was a sudden decision cos i tink my uncle is soon nearing to his death bed liao..so this nei liang xin de mum still can say some niao stuff cos she say if we treat a person nice when he is alive then why bother to go bac when he is almost dying..and all my aunties and damn pissed off wif my mum cos they feels tat she is acting like some queen inviting her to go bac indo and she is like so unreluctant..ya i can understand how all my aunties feel la..cos its like ppl are dying already and still need to see face in order to come bac indo..wat is this man.. yeah and i was damn bloody pissed off wif her also cos she keep insisting me to bk air ticket for her just becos she wants to go bac indo today..but then i working how to bk for her so i told her wait i will bk for her at 12 pm once i finish work..then she keep bugging me wif calls...and this seriously pissed me off man..and tonite she still insist i send her off to airport..watever la seriously if i free i will send u..if i not free then too bad..cos its not as if u duno how to go airport sia and this thing damn last min man..