Tuesday, March 09, 2010

~rarr rarr so angry and pissed off now ~!

fri came bac sch for the singing elective..not to say again i knew it tat my singing suxs and i was right..the teacher commented that i need to improve on my breathing techniques..yes i know tat i dun have tat bao fa li in singing cos i dun have a wide singing range...pls la i gt abit music background i roughly know how cui my singing would be..but then i tink this singing elective is reali either u are gifted or either u do well or cant do well de..tat day when i stood infront of the stage, i was true indeed shivering while i was singing..but then after tat i became more calm, but still my singing reali suxs compared to my classmates lei..hai i reali very sian now man..sometimes i reali dun like things to be too results orientated man.,.everything also RESULTS RESULTS and RESULTS..rarrrr.....

then fri i was pretty focus wif online lectures AGAIN..haiz my uni life is always revolved around online lectures..sian lei i reali very sick of this kind of life liao man..then sat and sun i started to mug my elective and somewat i become more hardworking cos i realised the holiday is ending. and i need to be more serious liao..and clear my 05 now cos i super gan jiong abt this module cos i reali know nuts abt this module..i seriously need to jiayou liao ! sat i was busy highlight-ing my hair and apparently it became dye instead of highlight cos my skills are lousy..lohz..anyway i tink gt dye and no dye like reali no diff man..

anyway today is my elective test and i tried to stay awake the whole nite ytd to study but apparently i cant cos i keep falling asleep..so end up i have to pon lecture to finish recap-ing though i already study finish liao..but then apparently i dun rmb anything after i study..haiz somewat now i reali feel no security in everything i do lei...no confidence, no faith in myself..no FUTURE, everything also dun have...haiz haiz super emo and stress now..things so many many piling up..all i feel like doing now is to go for a holiday to destress...

and now i super pissed off cos of my elective cos i tink my elective sure very cui man..time totally not enough...wat the hell man...40 mcqs in half and hour..who the hell can tink carefully man and some more all the choices given all quite close de..wa lao i feel damn hopeless now man..and today my student's mum credited $50 to me for cny ang bao..wah i reali feel very bad and guilty abt it cos it seems tat the student never improve her performance at all for the past 2 yrs..her playing is still equally cui but then of cos i cant tell her tat "Hey melody ur playing still cant make it la..of cos as a teacher i gonna encouraged and motivate her to learn.." but yeah i reali feels bad abt it esp when her mum so nice to me..

haiz tml time to chiong again..i reali feel very tired now lei !!!!!!!!!!
i hope he will talk to me now man..haiz but then impossible de man..stop dreaming man..and ytd my clique was sitting in can 2 having western then they started asking abt playmate..looks like i reali dun like him le man cos how can i feel nothing when i nv see him for almost a month..i dun miss him at all, neither did i go to see him..yeah i guess so ba..aiya maybe he is just not the right one..so yeah abit hard to continue to like him cos i cant find any special reason that i can fall for him except for his gd looks at first look..or either everything is just too draggy le and its kinda impossible to further on anything..

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