~i am hurt by ur comments ~

its another wk of zhuo bo again ! and seriously i am just damn damn sian liao..sometimes surf net til nothing for me to surf man..so i decided to watch youtube and engage in new taiwan dramas..but then i dun dare to on the volume of the speaker, so i just watched the drama with no sound..sian..then last wk finally had someone to lunch wif me..at last i am not eating lunch alone liao...and they are not my new collegues..he is actually a friend of mine when i was working in nuh tat time and we always met each other at the walkway so he asked me if i wanna join him for lunch..then i say ok lo since anw i will be hiding in the clinics to read newspaper..so might well join him for lunch..

then fri went to cut my hair and met up wif hm for dinner..but end up eating bread instead cos my favourite laska stall wasnt open at all..so yeah eat my favourite bread lo..then sat went to shop ard again and the flea i went to was not bad..it has everything tat most gers will like to buy, but then its damn messy and the clothes need to dig here and there and i am pretty lazy to dig though its cheap..the thing is tat its hot and the space is rather contrained, so yeah i go there just see see look look nia..nv buy, which is partly quite gd too cos if not i will waste money buying clothes again !

then sun i was off to work at imm to sell ice lollies and although the job was kinda tiring cos u have to stand 8.5 hrs but its a brainless job so its rather ok wif me..and the pay is rather high too as a promotor,.so why not take up this job for a day man..yeah and i was rather happy working this job as compared to my current job cos at least i work wif 2 youngsters and they are rather friendly..and i felt very happy when i see those kids smiling away when we giv out free samples for them to try..yeah they are just so naive that i cant stop smiling to them either..hehe..i felt happy whenever i see that grin in their smiles.. ;) but then ytd i was reali hurt by this comment of this particular friend of mine..although i dun reali know him tat well, but then i seriously feel hurt when he said this particular sentence.." come on, u can coming out to the society to work alrdy and u still cant tink.." wa lao who are u to me to critise me until like tat..seriously even if u are smart so wat ! i dun give a damn seriously..i know i am naive , but at least i dun have motive for every steps or actions i take..when how abt you? i feel tat everything u does and say does carry motive one lo..if i didnt critise u, then just leave me alone man..and seriously i haven seen someone who is so blunt in talking la..seriously i cant take it..and ytd i was reali damn angry wif this person, just tat i didnt wan to say only..

and today i shifted my office desk to somewhere else already..damn sian..almost the feng shui is gd as in no one can see i surf net now, but then i am totally isolated in one corner of the office ! and i cant see those students who enter the office now..sian..no ppl to look, no shuai ge and babes to see ..all i see is just walls ;(

~i am addicted to shopping !~

haiz i feel damn emo now man..duno why man, suddenly feels that i do nt have much friends to go out wif.seriously sometimes really feels that i need a companion man when u have no studies to keep u occupied..and i am getting seriously sicked of shopping already man..practically shop every wk and i am kinda spending lots of money on clothes, which is wasting money man ! hmmm but i cant reali find any other activities that i can do man..and i dun like buffet activities cos now i am kinda fat, so wanna cut down on food..so i try not to sugget go for buffet..and last wkday i feel damn sian la..everyday onli got 1hr work for me to do nia..then the rest of 7.5hrs sit in front of comp zhuo bo..seriously its just too boring la ! this job is seriously more slack than my ex company job..in fact if they dun wan to extend me i wont find it shocking cos hiring me is seirously wasting the sch's money when its sch holiday and there is nothing much for me to do also..

seriously 1 month of eating alone at work and emo-ing in the clinics reading magazines during lunch has somewat made me relatively quieter person..actually its not i dun wan to talk to ppl..there is no one for me to talk wif..and thur my "neighbour" is finally leaving and they had a mini celebration..although the cake seems temping but i didnt eat it cos partly i not close wif them dun wan eat their stuff, cos it doesnt look nice on my personality..and secondly although they did ask me to eat, but i declined cos abit pei seh..but i was stunned when thur my neighbour finally ask me to eat the cake, cos i thought she totally dun talk to ppl one..but yeah the ppl there kinda unfriendly la..if they wanna extend me, i also tink twice man..such a boring and unfriendly work place i also sian..i rather go out find a better working environment and get lesser pay ! at the same time i can widen my social circle..hmm this comin sem i intend to take up a cca le..hopefully my cca testinomial wont be so plain..

and ytd (sat) went for a flea market..whoo ! somewat i managed to get some cheap clothes out there..bought one off shoulder top and a jeans skirt for $13 in total..haha not bad ah, its super cheap !!! my top was $5 only and somewat the stall that i bought from, her clothes material all not bad one..of cos i will buy from her as compared to other $5 stall whose clothes material is lousier..and dawn and down there selling her clothes man..oh man, hers is freaking cheap also, and all damn nice also..but too bad her clothes all damn small man, afterall she is a model and i am rather big size..so cant wear ;( so didnt buy although there is alot of nice ones..lol if not i sure buy alot !

haiz anyway i am damn damn sian man..today decided to nuah online and do nothing..seriously there isnt much stuff for me to do..i am damn damn bored ! tmr is mon again..haiz everything starts again..i doubt i haven been happy for long alrdy after i started working this job..i have lost my smile..haiz. and i tink really no hope for me liao..wan to talk to this ly, but i dun dare at all ! forget it liao man, anyway lets nature take its course then ! if he likes me then i will be happy..if he dun like me it doesnt reali matters to me also..

~so near yet so far~

mon was their term sch holiday..so there is nothing much for me to do..seriously even when i take my own sweet time to finish my work, there is still plenty of time left for me to zhuo bo..and as usual mon i nuah at the clinics read magazines cos i have nothing much to hang ard over there.so yeah then after came bac from lunch, ly called out for me..then i abit freak out cos i thought he is suuposed to be on holiday?? yup but anyway he is here for sch project and his friend too..somewat i tink his friend is more friendlier than him..and tat's not the issue..the issue is tat damn i wear til damn cui cos i thought they sch holiday alrdy, so wont have ppl come sch one, so decided to dress down since my whole office also all old aunties, so nothing special to dress up nicely also la..so yeah tat day he has seen my cui side cos so far he have yet to seen my cui side..but tat day his attire was reali gd and i was kind of attracted by his attire on mon..i would giv him a 7 on mon..hehe but too bad, i am not telling him else it would be too obvious.sometimes i reali feel tat "i am so near yet so far.."and how should i bridge tat far-ness man, tat's the qn..cos i dun reali know much abt him.

then ytd went to watch the karate kid at PS..overall the show was not bad..hehe but i fall asleep halfway through cos i was damn shagged la...then ytd had our dinner at the douby exchange there..the food overall was not bad, and price is rather cheap and there is free refill of ice cream and drink, but i didnt reali take the drink, its more of the ic cream tat i am interested to eat..hehe...anyway ytd the movie at PS suddenly reminded me of mr A ..seriously ytd i have the sudden temptation to lie on his shoulder, not becos i like him, but rather i am kinda tired and i need something to lie on..the temptation was great cos he was sitting so close to me la..saying nt tempted to lie on the shoulder is reali a bit fake la..but then eventually i didnt la, cos i sure will stunned him..sometimes we just have to draw a line no matter hw much yearn we hopes to lie on, and i kept on telling myself to wake up my idea man..seriously i have no idea why ytd i suddenly felt tat this guy beside me is rather attractive too, esp when the tone when he talks to me saying tat" u fall asleep ah?" wa lao his tone was damn gentle la.then i was confused for a moment SERIOUSLY ..and its just ytd only..somewat the past meet up wif him i didnt felt any special thing..come on man, wat's wrong with me sia..for wat i know ytd i hope tat the guy sitting right beside me would be ly..but then like i say i am so near to him, yet so far from him..i have no idea where should i start from when he is always so busy wif sch..can u tell me how??? haiz...when i see him duno wat to talk abt, in fact i can crap more to his friends than towards him..come on qm, i duno how long can i perserve here man..the job here is just freaking damn sian and i have been sitting from morning 8am til nw and i did no work today except probably 1/2hr of updating of excel sheet and i earn 8.5 hrs pay..not bad la actually this job cos it pays u to slack..but then i have to tahan be a loner for a few mths here.. ;(

~i guess i know what kinds of guy i like le ~

thur after all those shit work wasnt tat bad afterall..at least i managed to complete it and the whole afternoon i was damn free..so surf net the entire afternoon after lunch..shoik man, then some more my neighbour on leave so i can open my internet window openly..hehe...then fri i was kinda busy..they are starting to give me more work to do liao cos i am starting to pick up things le, so yeah lesser time to zhuo bo...but at least i take my own time to do la..heck, doubt i wan to finish so fast cos the faster u finish the more work they give u,.lol

and fri ly's diff grp of friends kept coming down to the office to look for my colleagues.. i am amazed tat all of them recognised me even though they onli seen me once..and seriously i dun understand why i have been bumping into tat "Couple" from thur man..everywhere i go also see them..come to work, lunch and go home also see them..and tat guy was stare-ing at me when they sat opposite me in the bus..then i pretended i nv saw him staring at me, cos its damn obvious la..initally i wanted to smile to him de, but then at bit pei seh cos i nv talked to him before though he is ly friend..so yeah act blur is the best la..perhaps wait for ly to introduce him then i shall be more friendly..and fri was their last day of the term alrdy..initally wanted to join him for lunch de, but i scared pei seh, so i decided to eat alone again..haiz..emo la, then one of his malay-chinese mixed friend saw me when i was walking towards the sci canteen, then he smiled to me saying" looking for ly ah?" haha then i smiled saying "yup"..of cos la, i onli know him here, who else can i can find seh..then end up he eating alone tat day..lol, should have joined him earlier cos i thought he eating wif him friends, then if tat's the case i wouldnt wan to disturb him ma.; anw tat fri i was somehw dian dao by him cos he look kinda gd looking tat fri...the white shirt tat he wore was kinda tight fit, so overall, makes his build kinda gd..initally wanted to tease him that he is up to 7/10 le, but he is in a rush to prepare the nxt set up for the nxt patient, so yeah did get to talk to him at all..and i realised i like guys who play soccer and tennis..seriously he has common interest as playmate..its like so qiao la..but then haven been reali close wif playmate alrdy ever since his leg operation..and i realised playmate is nt someone tat i reali like after knowing him better for a yr..but i do hope to know ly better, but i cant find any common topics lei and i duno where can we start our convo from other than the usual msges..haiz..

anw ytd went to agnes hse for gathering and morning went to mum's friends buffet bday celebration..and ytd tat agnes was trying to be funny la, cos she tried to introduce this temp guy under the sales team cos he still single and he is 25 yrs old nia..so should be ok for me..and its damn pei seh la..duno lah, he is just not my type..in fact he look kinda uncle for his age and he does look reali much more older than 25..both serena and me feels tat he look like 30+ guy..but not my problem la, i am not reali keen in him...lol..and tat agnes trying to stress me la..she says serena got bf liao lei,ester also gt bf liao..so u now gt bf?? wa lao this qns isnt it damn obvious??? of cos no la ! i am not sure why i have no feelings for most guys i met..perhaps i haven relai like a person for long alrdy..duno wat's the feel of like (i guess)

haiz sian tmr is mon again..another wk of emo-ness cos ly they all having holidays alrdy..no one to entertain me liao..i guess i will hide in the clinics everyday from nxt wk to read magazine cos sci canteen also not much nice stuff to eat..and moreover they also nt ard liao..

~i am damn damn emo and sad now ~

let me emo my sadness over this entry abt the new job.haiz first day of work i alrdy dun like the working environement liao..first when i stepped into the workplace, i see its all 50+ old aunties and a few 30+ aunties..only one or 2 youngsters nia, but all of them sit super damn far from me and i didnt get a chance to talk to them at all sia..so yeah firstly this situation alrdy made me sian diao liao..then secondly my neighour sitting beside me totally nv bother to talk and look at me at all..she really treats me as transparent sia..all she knows is keep eating..lol, seriously i didnt know she like eating so much..and i realised she is always slacking away..supposedly perm stuff should be busy one, but i dun understand why she so free one can surf net and read newspaper during office hrs..even if i have nothing to do on first day, i alrdy tried very hard to pretend to find something to do..

thirdly, i was very pissed wif the person who keep asking me to redo my work cos her instuctions given not clear..walao i redo 3 times til i black face and kinda pissed off la..then i was quite fed up til i ask her to double check my work before printing the letter heads cos its damn hard to print esp when all the words keep eating onto the letter head..SERIOUSLY cos i do til i was damn frustrated cos the printing of the letter head is damn mafan..

and wat makes me more emo is none of them bothers to smile to me and treats me as transparent..wa lao i know i am a temp only, but at least acknowledge my presence la..at least smile to me wat..i wan to smile to them but most of them giv me tat stern look, but to bond and click wif them man..haiz haiz wat is this working environment man..i feel it sucks seriously ! so wat i am getting a high pay now, the working environment just sucks totally.. and when its lunch time everyone just go off for lunch themselves, as usual all the auntie gang will go for lunch together and talk abt auntie topics..they nv even bother to ask me if i wanna join them for lunch or nt..haiz..onli this nice malay lady say wanna show me ard the campus..but i told her i once work somewhere near before so i know the place pretty well..but yeah she is really the only one tat i feel is the nice one in the whole office..the rest just canot make it seriously la..

then mon was my first day, then ly suddenly msg me hw's my job then i was damn happy la, cos i thought at least i can have lunch wif him, but he says he is eating wif his friends, so yeah then i dun wan to join him liao cos dun wan to be extra sia and eat wif them cos its gonna be a bit weird.. then tues i was damn sleepy, but luckily i had to go lv 2 for my treatment, then i went out the office for 2.5 hrs then slack down there..seriously the atmosphere there is much much better la..then me , ly and shu yi was down there chatting..she ask me wat kinds of guys i like and ask me to rate ly in front of him..then i gav him 6.5 but ly heard it as 3..then he abit sian diao, but i tink when he heard i gave him 6.5 he smiled i tink cos i cant see his expression..but yeah tis shu yi was trying to fix us together..then i was kinda pei seh la, cos shu yi is the rumored ger wif him, but from the way they talk, i tink they dun reali like each other..hehe..then she keep asking me to rate all the guys over there, then of cos i giv tat thick eye brow guy 8 cos he is relai shuai man..he is my eye candy man..actually the guys over there is reali much much better looking than our sch guys..seriously i can feel the diff..the way they dress and talk is just totally damn diff feel.they have a special charisma which engin guys dun hav de.alright so tues after the treatment, i joined his friends for lunch and he intro me to his friends..but i relai feel abit weird lei..although the guy sitting beside me did keep talking to me, but i stil feel weird joining them cos afterall i am not their friends..so yeah at least i know ly likes wat kind of gers he likes and he likes cheese fries cos tat shu yi was saying abt his favourites then she asked me wat kind of guys i like..i say not much preferences, nice to me can alrdy..then she say we can be together cos we have common interest tat is to eat cheese fries..lol wat lame thing man..anw i tink he is not bad la, aiya should have rate him higher then perhaps more chance man..

anw i decided to take up this job cos of him de..partly to get closer to him, and partly becos of the high pay..then he keep asking me to quit the job but i bu se de, cos its not easy for me to enter this job lei and i can onli manage to jell with him for one wk nia cos after this wk he is having holidays alrdy..sad man..after this wk tink i will be more emo man wif all the old aunties.. ;( then today i wanted to jio him for lunch de, but since ytd i feel damn weird eating wif his friends so i decided not to ask him for lunch liao..so yeah i decided to walk ard the canteen hoping to bump into him..initally i didnt saw him de, then when i decided to walked bac to the office he called out for me..then he was teasing me saying tat " u reali eating alone ah?? then i give him tat sad face.." then he laughed and keeping saying to me "quit that job la !" walao i was thinking tat i joined for ur sake one man, how can i giv up this pt of time..no no no i must endure although this old ladies damn stuck up and arrogant..actually its not relai my business la, as long as they dun disturb me can alrdy.

and today one of the collegue was very angry wif another collegue then her attitude was damn bad and rude cos she scolded the F word so loudly in the office and i was totally stunned man..cos i didnt expect got ppl who is so attitude..then she say i am not going to do this shit work and she was scolding like cats and dogs..wa lao i was thinking deep inside me...i thought this place is a high class place to work in, but looks like i am totally damn wrong..her personality is just damn ah lian..and today another colleague was bitching abt other ppl on the phone and the way she talks is just damn ah lian also..wa lao seriously i duno if are they educated or nt? cos they way they speak just turns me off seriously..haiz how can i endure these kind of sucky environment...and this HR manager also damn attitude also, cos the way she "scold" ppl reali damn hurting sia..cos she was saying this colleague then the way she talk to her is reali rude la..wa lao i hear liao also cant tahan..let alone the person tat is being scolded..

haiz tmr i need to clear alot of shit work..i am damn damn shagged and lost now..cos nobody explained to me hw does things work over there,..many at times i wan to ask them de, but all of them so hao lian and fierce i reali dun dare cos is scared they tink i am an undergraduate why seems no brain one..haiz haiz..

~tmr i am starting work..whee ;) ~

sat i went for the jc gathering at bugis there for our dinner..the food was not bad and the atmosphere was nice too ! me and wp shared a pizza and today we are going out again to shop for clothes but then i am not buying liao cos ytd i bought 2 tops and a cap from the celeb car boot 8 days sales..so yeah no money liao.. ;(

tmr i am starting work..yeah shoik got money liao..hopefully tmr can see him man.. ;)

~i am freaking happy now ~

tues went to food expo and bought lots of food at a damn cheap price.hehe shoik man..then went to town to shop..saw damn alot of clothes on sales but i not working nw, so dun wan to buy even though it was quite tempting..

then today i received lots of calls from agent but none met my expectation seh..and i almost wanna sign a 2 wks temp assigment job alrdy then heng i haven sign yet cos i tried to delay the job offer to wait for better jobs offer..and i am so heng today tat the dentistry person called me..when i took up the call, i was damn damn damn happy la..cos one thing the pay is gd and its the ideal gd i have been waiting for ! shoik then the working hrs also match my piano class..hehe..gdgd..i am so so happy now..1 month of slacking and idling is enough..time to earn more money now.. !