Tuesday, September 27, 2005

~tired and stress is all i can sae..~

on sat, went out without tying my hair, i just wore a hairband cos tat day i dun feel like wanting ppl to recognise me plus i feel like being those typical hairband gers..actually wearing hairband is not as comfortable as wat i think, its just make my head so painful even though i wore it onli for half a day..duno why so many gers like to wear hairband..in future i am just not wearing any more even though it looks quite ok to me..
kay on my way to mrt, saw qi fang..she changed quite a lot, became veri matured...duno why most of my friends dress until super matured..doesnt look like 18 at all..i still rather choose to dress up like those young mei mei so tat at least i dun look old and matured..at least ppl can still call me xiao mei mei rather than xiao jie..haha..
kay then i reach the mrt super early and has to wait for them to come..then during this time, i just stand down there and enjoy the "fashio show"i realised tat most ppl do dress up when they go town..and most gres do make up..seriously during tat time i feel reali relaxed, just duno why..staying at home just make me reali stress..wondered why so may ppl like my age got the time to go out during weekends...jc life is just veri hectice and fast..most of us just dun hav the time to go out during the weekends cos we always spent the weekends doing hw and revision..tat;s why yh was saying tat most ppl are attached when they are in jc cos they find tat their life veri lonely..they just need a companion to be with them so tat they can share the pain together and rather going through the pain themselves..actually wat she sae is true, my life is just go sch, eat, sleep and watch tv..so sian,..the presentation was boring, the nice part onli came when there is refreshments..anyway my form teacher is in the video..anyway she look damn ugly in the video cos she didnt wear make up, no wonder now she laways wears make up to sch everyday..
sun did thihk of something..i still cant forget every words tat was said..for now i may sae tat oh tat guy is so gd and nice, but if the day reali comes i will just reject or think reali long cos i am just too scared to get involve in such things again..i just want to protect myselffrom getting hurt cos its just not easy to forget everything..for me, i find it hard to tell a guy tat i wan to break up with him cos its like too cruel and will be veri veri hurting to him..i wont do tat unless he do things tat let me down or doesnt cherish me at all..other than tat i will try to salavge everything if it is within my means..to me, i find tat is of no point aksing a guy to stay on if he might be there for u physically but in his heart he wans to end everything..if like tat i would rather he break up with me and lead on with his new life..for some gers they will just pester and beg the guy bac, but like i sae its no use cos his heart is not with u..soemtimes i am just veri straight forward.i just dun like guys to lie to me , lying to me just make me feel insecured..as for now, i guess i am not willing to get involved in such things unless my heart can overcome the fear in me..but seriously i hope tat we can still talk like wat we used to, not like now, feels like i am his enemy..
suddenly ppl around me are so hardworking, which make me more stress..to be exact gp is just next mon and around less than 3 weeks time will be the main papers..sigh i am just reali scared..so far haven studied the past topics cos too much hw to do le..duno why i always sleep and zhuo bo once i reach home..yh sae tat i am quite slack even up tp now and it seems tat i am going to give up soon..hai~~seriously i need ppl to push and wake me up other than my mum cos i am just too tired,,it seems tat i am bac to wat i used to be..for now, i am still writing my blog cos at least i do practice my gp compo skills..sigh i am reali scared cos its the final exam le..if i canot make it then i will hav no other place to go le..(wish me luck then...)
the j2s and leaving soon just few days b4 my promos..hai~i will hav to go sch and bac home alone..seriouly comparing my current gd frien and my last yr classmate, i still prefer them..yh is just too impatient and bad tempered..now even worst, she like everyday bad mood..so scared of her man..me and her sometimes just canot click along,but i do hav to compromise towards her..
kay i must reali cut down on the time on comptuer after my gp paper..so tat i dun waste my time..if i reali need a break then i will touch it for a while..

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