~Truancy~

this few days reali zhuo bo, come sch just to take attendace..seriously dun understand why must the sch make retainees to come bac sch even though there is no lesson for us..tat is just so bo liao..just my time either idling away or chatting away or sleeping..wanted to read some notes but too noisy so ended up looking at ppl...yesterday still play truancy..initally i dun wan cos i scared mah, but later the 3 of them keep dragging me to go off with them cos they sae i stay in sch so sian..so me and cm went to bluff the security uncle sae we wanted to go out a while to take something so we hav to left our ic no..but i gave a fake ic no..pls loh who so stupid to give the real number to let them catch us..surprising the list has already have alot of ic no..so b4 us alot of ppl did bluff the uncle..after tat we went to the bac gate to ask yh and her to throw ours and their bags to us, then later we came out empty handed..actually the canteen ppl got look at us but i guess they cant see us tat clearly cos it is just too far away..after which we went to delifance to eat something..ya mee, the pies reali veri nice leh..then sat there reali long abt 3hrs like tat.jamie do all the talking, so we all just listen..actually i prefer ppl do the talking then i listen..seriously she can reali talk alot alot and non talk..then after which we do felt abit guilty for wat we did so went bac sch to scan our card so tat they couldnt check on us..
todae even worst..even sian, but jamie look for us and she was the one talking non stop from morning til 1pm..wa i reali pei fu her..we talk abt our exs, qualites tat we look in a bf and so on...she and cm wan a rich bf no matter wat, then me and yh are just too afraid to spend too much of a guy's money cos we felt tat its not correct..cm was complaining tat the 27 yr old "old man" was veri stingy cos he treated her ramian which cost $5.80..she felt tat he veri stingy and niao..actually i think tat the guy quite gd already loh, 1st time on date somemore he treat, better than nothing...she was expecting some high class restaurants..she still look out for credit cards..oh man, i dun even bother abt this..wether he uses credit card or not also none of my business, all i know is got money pay can liao..jamie saes tat i am a veri naive person..do i??actually alot of person did said tat to me b4, but i just dun find myself naive leh..she sae she did hug ch just for fun cos she find ch cute..hehe..ya actually he yet cute but seriously hugging a guy is never a thing i would do unless the guy is my bf then it will be a different thing..actually i do like the feeling of hugging but i feel tat it will be veri funny to hug u friends and i will feel veri shy one loh...
one week more, i will know my results le..on 15/11/2005...seriously i hope i can get at least C for every subjects except for GP, then like tat i will not let myself down..then one week more, i will have holidays liao..this holiday is reali a long one..i have decided to prepared my j2 work during this holiday, just scared tat i canot catch up with the speed..
todae hui ling was asking me how did i did for my promos..cm said tat her words are like she is looking down on me..duno leh, i dun think so, or maybe i am just insensitive..but wat to do, being a retainee sure will hav ppl look down on u wan wat...anyway i am used to it already...but seriously this year and last yr results reali got drastic change..duno last yr wat i do also...
my dad was asking me wat i am to do in university if i got a chance to enter..seriously i duno leh..initally wanted to study maths but now i think maths veri sian now cos of the teacher make me feel sian...i dun hav any goal in life, i duno where am i heading to...sometimes i do feel emptiness and loneliness in my life this yr, but wat to do, wat is gone is just gone..life still goes on..yes, i do admit tat sometimes i do think of him, wondering how is he doing now and so on..but just dun dare to talk to him..sometimes i do feel heartbroken also...
i have been watching a lot of serials..practically went home everyday to watch tv onli and never do hw..oh my god, yesterday i was watching this korean show, the guy is just so sweet to the ger..i wish i could be tat ger man but provided my parents do not interfer then tat will be a veri veri sweet ending..sigh..i reali wish tat i can hav a guy to take care of me, dote on me then tat will be veri nice..but it seems difficult....tml will be a toturing day again, tml has to go bugis again...