Friday, April 28, 2006

~sick for a week le~

i am still abit sick and its been a week le..i have gone to see doctor since i canot tahan of keep coughing non stop and i feel veri tired..i have finished the whole antibotics and still haven completely recover..sigh.this week days keep sleeping once i reached home..sigh, this is bad, my hw every thing also never do..duno i got wat sleeping illness or wat, whole day keep wanting to sleep even though i slept enough le..duno is the medication or wat but i hope it is, if not something is wrong with me..i am pretty worried for my studies, got lots of things to do and its been left there for ages le and i have yet to complete..tat's bad..everytime i will sae, ok weekend i shall complete but also never manage to finish..
abit worried for bessie tat she is suffering the same illness as me when i am in j1 2oo4, stomach kept feeling bloted and whole day feel veri fatigue even though she has slept for veri long le..heard tat she is going for scope and i encourage her tat cos i guess it will help her solve partly of her problem..i am ok now after the scope..
my cca teacher todae saw me and sae ur attendance is veri poor ah..i kept quiet but i think she should know tat i pon lah, but she didnt reali scold me..i think for the next few months, i canot pon le cos teacher observed tat i am often missing during cca..
todae maths test seems veri bad to me, the qns seems veri familiar but i veri revise cos i got no time to finish revision..even though the day b4 i when home early but later duno why at nite kept feeling sleepy..so ended up like nothing go into my brain..this week i shall be hardworking and i am serious this time..

Monday, April 24, 2006

~the parent meetin session~

sat veri sick, with a slight fever and iw as in sch waiting for the parent meetin session..wanted to go home and not turn up for the session cos i am just too tired becos of the medicatioin but both my parents insist tat i must go..but seriously i dun see why i must be present loh becos i will just be there stoning and keeping quiet becos i am veri sian to hear the same things over and over again for 2 yrs le..my mum always ask the same things and teachers will always give some standard ans tat i can even predict myself..so i see no pt in going and as if i go for the interaction between teachers and parents, my results will be gd and improve..no rite?all these reali have to depend on urself and nobody can help u unless u help urself..
overall the session was a bad ending, cried practically in front of all teachers and after everything ends i also hide inside to cry..duno why either, maybe i just feel veri pressurized and my mum keep giving me lots of pressure..both ms lim and mr sim feels tat my mum is giving me lots of pressure..duno how they know also, but its true..wat they need to do is to encourage me rather than giving me more pressure..mr sim saes tat i set high standard for myself..actually wat he sae is true to a certain extend..last yr i reali set high standard for myself but this yr i set my targets lower le..they told me tat my learning attitude is ok..its becos i retained once b4..so i know how failure is like, so i tell myself tat i musnt fail again so i started to piah last yr..i learned my lesson liao..once a failure doesnt mean a failure, as long as u are determined, one day or so, there will be a day tat u will be succeful..ppl who never experience failure will never felt the pain and understand wat i am truely wanted to sae..oftenly, they take many things for granted..duno why it seems to me tat mr sim seems veri no patience to talk to my mum..maybe he finds my mum too kiasu and naggy le..even i cant stand it man..both yh and me also cried in front of the teachers tat;s like so qiao cos didnt except ppl to cry except me, cos i cry veri easily..but i think her situtaion is worst than mine..duno why i totally not close with my parents at all..i see other ppl so close with their parents but not me,,.mum onli cares abt results..whole day onli ask abt this until i veri "FAnn" of it..she never ask personal qns b4..but dad wise also seldom talk , but he is the more understanding one, he dun reali give pressure..all he asks is i do my best can le..so veri often, i live in my own paradies..usually talk abt personal preoblems to friends tahter than parents and this relai shows how "Close" i am with them..
my worry tat i am facing now is i scared i canot make it for my gp..so far, this 2.5 yr, hardly make it for any tests and exams..teacher sae onli A,A, A then can get higher chance of going to uni if fail gp..if all Bs, then veri little chance liao..but do u think its possible??NO..worried seh..

Friday, April 21, 2006

~the long update~

dad made an effort to celebrate my belated birthday by treating us to eat outside..initally dun feel like going cos too many things haven do, this and tat also never do..just dun feel like going out..i am seriously veri tired..i always got no time to do tutorials and revise my work during the weekends just becos every week got weekly test..and becos of tat many things are jammed up..i feel tat this weekly test is reali over liao loh.,.i feel tat the tests are reali too much compared to j1..in j1, i still got time to do tutorials and take my own sweet time ..now not at all, and i have cut down time on going online..results reali veri bad, mostly AO for all subjects and the weekly test for phy and chem also fail..sigh..actually failing now seems normal to me..dun reali feel sad now, whenever i fail a test becos i am used to it le..guess wat the chem paper got 8/42..ya man, felt so "proud" of myself getting such "gd" results..but the funniest part is i am not the lowest, which i find it weird cos i am already the lousiest in class..of cos mum scolded me alot when she asked abt the results..ya, but wat to do, i just keep quiet and let her scold all she wants..i understand the worry tat she faced, but i am worried too just like her..just tat i dun show..i am scared tat i am not able to go uni and if tat's the case i will have to work extra hard to earn to pay to go private uni, which i dun think i can afford it given our current situation..sometimes i feel tat my parents have made the wrong choice by sending me to go jc..cos they insist tat i canot go poly..becos they have the mentality tat poly students are the louier one, but tat's not the case..
somehow i stil feel disappointed over someone..i guess i still haven gotten over it, reali a bit sad..sigh..wanted to make the move but i am scared tat things will be out to be ugly..to sae the truth, its a bit upset up to now..duno why either..
felt bad when the 3 gers spent quite a lot on my present..think tat they shouldnt buy the lip gloss for me cos i have 4 tubes at home le and i haven even one tube, now got extra one more..duno when can i finish using it man..maybe in future can buy other things for me like mascara, eye lashes or some other stuff tat i dun reali have much..cos think when i going to work will intend to buy all those..
and i think the G string is useless for now cos i intend to keep it til i am much older..
tues went bac to fhs becos i was sa bo by yh and ms ang pls me to go there to help her get bac her dance fans..think they want to save on the taxi fare cos no one knows how to go fhs except me cos i come from there obviously..things still remains the same..mot of the teachers are changed and mostly all grow fatter..teachers who used to taught me cant recoginise me, so didnt reali bother to call them..duno how to face them also for retaining..went bac to look at mm room..it was all locked and close..duno why either, whereas the robotics room is veri happening, full of ppl ..luckily didnt see mr ling..pricincipal also came bac tat day , duno for wat reasons when he is no longer fhs principal anymore..luckily didnt see him also becos i also wuno how should i face him if he sees me cos he knows me as the "Indonesian ger"
talking abt mm, i think i learned quite a bit from there..at least i know how capacitor looks like and how it works..last time used to thought why must have the blue fat thing on the circuit board..kay now i know, it uses is to discharge current when the battery runs flat..and last time they used to use the black chip for burning programs using competition, now i know tat it has a name..and gd thing i learn how to solder things which its not veri easy..i always like to play with the flux and waste the sch resources..
todae veri sick seh, cough, flu and sore throat..todae i got a sexy voice sia..think yeterday i eat too much chili liao when i know i am already starting to have sore throat, took 2 small bowls of chili..yh sae i siao seh, but i like to eat chili, cant control the day without chili..
tml is parent meeting session seh, scared seh cos duno wat teachers will sae abt me..
my relatives just came to singpore, ya man, they super rich lah..spent money as if water..they gave my mum a colour hp with radio but no camera, but i think the phone will be mine in future cos she also duno how to use..these few days mum not at home til late nite abt 11, felt so shoik cos no one to nag me.. sick and more sick. throat feels veri uncomfortable..must blame on me for eating the whole packet of oreo without drinking water after tat..

Monday, April 17, 2006

~busy~

have been reali busy lately..weekends onli study except the fact tat the gd fri is a holiday..sian..

~busy~

have been reali busy lately..weekends onli study except the fact tat the gd fri is a holiday..sian..

Thursday, April 13, 2006

~weekly update~

Relationship with my brother is reali bad..we always quarrel last week..duno why I and him totally not close at all..i find him veir immatured..this and that also want to complain to my mum and one thing is tat I dun like his character..always like to see ppl msg without their permission..sometimes, I find tat some of the guys tat I know is the same pattern as my brother, so immatured..but wat to do??they are still young, cant blame them for so imatured..
Somehow I feel guilty when mr chua scold us in class on mon for doing badly for the weekly test..he scolded ppl who never put in effort and leave a lot of blanks..duno why if he is referring to me or not becos I leave 2 page blanks cos I just dun hav the time to finish..life is getting more and more sian day by day..every week also got test..sometimes up to 2 or 3, dying soon cos I cant catch a breather..then my chem. Now so lousy, couldn’t even get the fundamental for organic chem. Right, duno how am I going to proceed on also..
Tues ran 2.4km continuously ..6 rounds track without stopping much cos it’s a test mah..(NAFA)..time clocked was 15.40min..quite qi ji tat tat day cos run quite fast considering nomally I always the last few runners and the normal timing clocked was 17 min something..maybe normally I am just lazy to run fast cos I slack a lot in pe lesson esp during running..but weekend normally got go running cos I am motivated to have slim legs so must be more hardworking abit to train to have nicer legs..i yearn to have pretty babe legs’ she..CT period was a chit chat with our buddy..we talked abt our problems faced and I was told tat my greatest problem is tat I lacked confidence and many times I am veri blur..yes, in fact many ppl have told me already b4, but nothing much can I do to raise my confidence level up to now..still as pei seh as ever..
Quite glad to hear tat J wanted to treat me a meal on the day b4 14/4 becos at least he rmbs as a friend..haha..it’s not the meal tat matters..as long one is sincere then I will be veri happy le..gifts not reali impt to me, sincerity counts a lot..wed after cca was reali a surprise for me..initally just thought tat will be going home together with her, but duno why suddenly pops out an anjana and out of a sudden there is a cake..anyway I always kana “cheated” by her sec time liao..but I guess this is her way of making a surprise for me..anyway I was quite touched and happy lah becos this is the sec time my friends celebrated with me and since young my parents never celebrated with me b4 except one yr when I was veri veri young and to be exact, this is the 3rd cake I receive so far starting from the day I am born..abit pathertic, but never mind cos I am used to it already..tat’s why whenever ppl celebrate with me, I will feel veri happy..duno why either leh, maybe since young parents dun celebrate birthday with me and I find tat never got a chance to be a birthday ger..actually I also hope tat my mother will have party or anything but I know she confirm will not want given her character..
Thur , me and ger 1 was asked to meet ms lim to have a talk..ya, it was regarding the drastic drop in results from j1 to j2..somehow I feel guilty after talking to her..she feel tat we should start having the urgency for “A” levels le , but somehow I still dun feel tat..there is half a yr more..seems veri long to me..but one thing I know tat time flies veri fast without u reaslising..
The present from the 3 of them was reali an “Interesting” gift..first time receive such gifts and it was an undergarment and some make up stuff..hehe..duno who thought of tat idea man..actually dun need to see I also know liao, its her loh..anyway its not exactly a G-string, duno wat is it called either but dun think this will come handy now, maybe perhaps when I am older then will have more value in wearing it..haha..anyway wont deny its nice lah..but still I wont wear it now..
Week ahead is more stressful cos I got 3 tests in a week..sigh..tired and tired..duno why I feel disappointed abt tat thing..i guess wat I hope for wont reali happen ba..but I reali hope tat there will be miracle..

Friday, April 07, 2006

~a week of update~

lim is coming bac, how arh? somehow i feel tat i still dun wan to stay in tat class leh..not tat classmates not gd, its the teacher tat i couldnt adapt to..todae chem test comfirm plus guarantee chalk will get an F cos half the paper leave blank cos i got no time to see the qns at all..and those tat i got do, ans is mostly wrong so can prepare to fail badly..somemore, i onli studied the day b4 the test, can hardly rmb the facts cos i slept onli a little bit..but bo bian cos at least i studied study, i dun wan to let myself down when actually i know and i never study..at least i can tell myself tat i got study but blame it tat i am not smart to solve the qns..how arh??seriously worried how will be my future be shaped and pathed..A level is still abt half a yr more to go, veri fast in a blink half a yr will come le, without u realising it..just like four months has gone in j2..hard to believe but yes it is...days have been reali busy, hardly got time for myself to enjoy myelf..no time to watch tv and sleep..whole day are just busy with test and exams and tutorials..others?nothing at all..i long time never go out with friends le ever since last yr..whole day is study and study..so tired and irritated already..reali no life at all..last yr at least not so bad, still got time to relax, now not at all..sometimes time to eat in sch also dun hav, just to rush out my hw..I AM REALI SICK OF IT LE!!!!!!!!!!
thinking of it to be exact its 1 yr le..so fast sia..this 1 yr didnt reali happen anything great, sometimes quite upset over things..but never mind, hope tat things will change for the better..and the 3 wishes tat i hope for the upcoming yr...hopefully things will be in a gd light and i will be veri happy le..todae kq mentioned something abt my hatch day to them and i find it weird and pei seh..haha..duno why either..qm is always so shy..hehe..and lately have a new eye candy le..realised tat he is another ye xiang, always like to pluck his moutache or watever u call it or small hair on the chin..i always laugh secretly when i saw tat..yh also saw tat and i think tat time he saw tat, opps...laughing at ppl kana caught..he look super blur and quite cute to a certain extent..abit boy boy arh..duno why the type of guys tat i see is boi boi kind, haha, maybe i deprived of childhood and like small little boy..hehe..but he abit short seh..i have been looking up for JT ex classmate, tjio..duno why i quite admired him leh when i am in jj..went to look at his picts, the new tjio tat i see no longer look guai to me anymore..can see tat he go clubbing veri often...the MOS..
happened to see wan yi online and she talk to me..sometimes friends reali need to contact with each other..i asked ant maril and yi hui results and maril failed for gp and duno if she is repeating her j2 or not..sigh..i feel worried for her too..and i am also worried for myself cos my gp also super lousy..her english so gd and failed then me will be even worst..sigh..i guess she must be veri sad ba..if i am her, i also canot take it..i guess this is the worst setback for me ba..but one reali need to have a setback once then u will truly understand how to treasure things more..just like me..i take more pride in my studies now as compared to the past when i dun even care at all..
lately ppl have been calling me qm, which i find it weird cos seldom ppl call me tat..ok last tues went to the nite lect from 7 to 9pm..reach home reali late le..i am still considering if i want to go or not..see her mushroom hair reali make me feel like laughing at her sia..anyway enough of tat..
last week also happen something happening..the family dispute is back again..last sun came a letter from singtel asking my dad to pay the phone bills which cost abt $300 0ver cos my dad used to be one of the partnership in the past..mum is just seriously angry cos she sees no reason why she should pay..i dun understadn why my tat uncle is so irresponsible arh..why must he push all the debts to others when he is the one who owe ppl and disappear after tat..wat is this man?he is happy when he wins in the court and my dad lose, but wat do he gain now..wife leaves him after cheating his money, no children to take care of him when he is old and he still owes ppl lots of debts..all the precious things tat are built from my grandma are gone just becos of him..becos he gambled all the money away..
sigh..this week end reali got alot alot of things to do, can hardly take a breathe..got lots of tutorials to do and it seems tat long time i never touch le..yawans..

~who is my type of guy, from survery~

Prepare to be wooed! You go for the romantic type!

There's no such thing as too much wining and dining! You're a soft touch for the Romantic. A bouquet of flowers...a nice dinner...a bit of music - it all suits you down to the ground! Your sort places his woman on a pedestal and treats her like a princess. That's precisely what you crave. Whether you need it or not, you like the reassurance that a romantic man provides. With him, you never feel taken for granted. You don't fall for the bad lad act - in fact, you're put off by a man who's not in touch with his feminine side. The sensitive male who properly courts a woman will steal your heart every time. A bit traditional? Well, yes. A bit old-fashioned? Perhaps. But did a bit of extra doting ever hurt anyone? Absolutely not.