yesterday after exam, i feel reali totally empty as in i duno wat am i doing to do next cos suddenly my life becomes so empty without studies..everything has changed from a hectic life to a slacking life..somehow just couldnt adapt to this current slacking life man cos all the time i am super held up with studies..now suddenly no studies to take up my life, indeed makes me feel kinda empty now..then now seeing my friends all attached feel kinda abit envy them cos now got so much time to pei someone they like..
then yesterday after sch stayed in library to wait for hm to finish her malay test,then after which we went to JP to eat our dinner then later went back to her hall to wait for him to drive us out for supper..we went to boonlay market to had our supper at 1am..then reached home at 2am..then today went to NTU for a morning jog with them..
and today my dad said something to me when my mum was not around..he told me actually his cancer is 3rd stage instead of first stage cos he lied to my mum cos he dun wan her to worry too much..so onli i know tat he is 3rd stage..he told me not to tell my mum nor my bro just in case they worry..haiz.i duno should i tell them or not since i know..my bro is overseas studying, i scared by telling him will indirectly affect him man..sigh..then when i heard tat i cried on the spot man, then he told me to take it easy cos he said tat life and death and part and parcel of life..haiz..how can i not sad seh..my dad can leave me anytime and then..i can never know how long will he live up to..and i find kinda kelian for my dad cos he showed no sytomps of cancer before tat until now..and next mon he has to undergo his treatment le..now everything need money ....and everything will incur lots of money..sigh i also duno now how man..for the time being i can work since i holiday, but after holiday how seh..and my dad will be very weak after the treatments, then how can he go work?? haiz..there are just so many many troubles and concerns for now tat i cant help out with my dad..i feel suddenly tat i am kinda suffocated with lots of troubles tat i couldnt solve and no one can help me this time cos its a terminal illness..
but yesterday i feel kinda better after ci hui's concerns..he said tat he will ask everyone to pray for my dad and hopefully i will pray for my dad too if i believe in jesus,,haiz..i duno la, all i feel now is i am damn lost and very heavily burdened with alot of stuff..for now i just wish tat there is someone to share my burden with me so tat perhaps i will feel happier in life..
yippee tml we are going to sing kbox le..long time never sing liao..perhaps tml i will feel happier with my group of friends around..and i wanna say thanks to jason too for remembering me and intro me job lobang once i email him cos its been 2 yrs since i look for him for job lobangs..anyway now i need to kao him find jobs for me liao cos i think now recession man..super hard to find job..and i need money now for my trips and perhaps need to support my family for the time being..
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