Wednesday, May 18, 2011

~closure to my heart~

tonite had a HTHT session with this guy friend of mine, while the rest of my friends were chilling in the living room..anw i tink i should just make a closure to my heart...perhaps we are just poles apart and its kinda impossible for anything to happen..although at times i do see some reflection of ac on him..is tat the reason why i am starting to fall for him?? i duno too..but anw i feel like telling him stop being so nice to me..cos tat is my weakness..-dun ever be nice to me, cos i will be touched and fall for u...or rather just treat me just like a normal bo chap friend at least i wont continue having hopes...watever it is i should really just close my heart before i sink deeper..i should know tat he is nice to everyone, but then somewat i hv unknowningly fallen for him after interacting and bonding with him for the past few mths when initally i have totally zero feelings for him when i came china..come on, 1 more mth left..1 more mth then i will be free-ed from ur presence..ur presence wouldnt influence my heart anymore..u can continue to lead ur life and i can continue to lead my life..our lifes unlikely would ever crossed again..all i can say is, u are somewat the right guy i am looking for..but i am not the right girl for u..let's just leave it to fate...honestly speaking, first time in my uni life, i actually wholeheartedly like a guy..cos the past few guys tat i admire isnt really my kind though they are gd looking to me.i guess the god is fair..guys who are gd looking usually isnt my type, whereas guys who are avg looking are actually my type...anw qm qm qm ! u can do it..just put a closure to everyting now before u sink deeper..

and past few days el suddenly HTHT with me and he was still telling me "qm mai tu liao..u alrdy hv an ans tat u dun wan regret alrdy..then what are u waiting for??? " u alrdy regretted alot of times..and el said smt like u always like gd looking guys...now tat u met someone who is actually ur type of guy..its actually true love..and do u really want to regret again after u come bac spore?? initally i really had the intention of thrashing everything out alrdy long long ago..but i guess he alrdy knew wat i wanna say so i see no point in telling wat i feel..and afterall he alrdy knows everything alrdy..so i guess after the mogolia trip, we will go separate ways and that will mark a closure to everything alrdy. it sounds sad though but i guess your presence are fluencing me too much..i am just not the one for you..just let it be and i will count down to 1 mth departure frm you :(

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