~having mixed feelings~

anw the huang shan trip was quite jialat.stamina was totally cui to the max and i couldnt really make it to the top..and i really feel tat i am dragging down those 2 guys who always waited for me cos i am always the last since i am feeling quite sick and i couldnt really catch up with their pace..honestly speaking, i feel tat this trip is more like a training for me rather than enjoying the trip itself cos climb mountain also hv to climb fast fast in order to catch up their pace..need a rest also no time cos by the time i reached the rest point, they would have continued with the journey. so end up i nv rest much ! so i was freaking shagged and tired til i hardly talk throughout the trip.and moreover i was coughing terribly, plus i couldnt sleep for 3 consecutive days, makes me totally drained like vampire man..and i could feel tat i was damn weak tat time.plus my freaking rashes totally spoiled my whole trip cos this bloody rashes made my legs so itchy tat i cant sleep and my legs now are like so red !! hai come here really damn suay man..legs initally are smooth and nice, now the legs are so red though the doctor say tat it will heal one..but how long will it takes man..i see wanna wear shorts , short skirts and dress ! haiz... anw talking abt the 2 guys i tink they are kinda nice to be always waiting for me cos they know tat i am always very slow in climbing..but i feel kinda bad cos i felt tat i dragged down their stamina when they could have actually climbed much much faster than the pace tat i am climbing..so yeah, so kinda feeling guilty over it..but anw tat trip i miss much of the interaction with him..aiya, another chance wasted !!! cos i still thought can get to interact more with him, but apparently end up i wass too shagged to talk to anyone..and mentioning abt tat, the 10 hrs train ride was damn bad man..cos its damn damn long and i couldnt sleep at all cos the train kept on moving and light sleeper ppl like me totally cant sleep..but anw i just told my house mate one of my secret.not sure if he will aids in helping me or nt but, but i hope he does and hopefully give me some opinions..

this few days have been having mixed feelings over flying bac to spore soon..cos afterall i have alrdy gotton used to the life here.then suddenly in 1.5mths time i need to go bac to my old life..its like everything will be bac to square one..honestly speaking, i dun really like the life in china now, but somewat i hv gotton used to it..and most importantly once we are back in spore, i doubt we will be as closed as before, and i doubt we will hav chances to meet up again.so moral of the story is i wont be seeing him tat often anymore.so its kinda sad somehow..but afterall its still life..this is something which i have to part away wif eventually..