~was it fate??~

after watching finished the singing competition, we saw a disc man lying on the sofa in the library during fri..me and cm was like so excited cos its a disc man leh..we never so heng b4 to find a disc man in our entire life..but eventually we didnt take it even though we did planned of taking home for a few days b4 giving it to the lost and found ppl in charge..it seems like we recently veri close with money..always found $0.10 somewhere on the floor..fri increase to $0.20 le..it seems like we are changing for a betetr luck..haha..lets hope tat i can pick up a hp or mp3 in future..
then i saw rafie and his gf at jp..his gf seems quite pretty to me and rafie is veri shuai!!!but too bad they are attached..then also saw clement..he changed quite alot..became more ugly..then at nutc saw 2 girls kissing while i am queueing up..oh man, i was like so shocked and disgusted..they were both holding hands..one were trying to be a butch and the other girl seems not bad looking to me..but both were equilvant disgusting..it seems tat going homw late at nite can reali see alot of stuff..i saw a girl who is so hot cos her skirt was like super damn short..then i think some guys were looking at her..but i think tat she is reali pretty..then got those giant toy tat has ppl inside ..was at nutc, then the giant toy give those mei mei a hug..i was thinking can i hug u also cos i find them veri cute!!!!but in the end i never cos i dun dare..
on sat, daddy suggested tat we go canteen A to eat since he says tat he got money to treat us..and he sae tat the chicken rice over there is quite nice..then the uncle giv us extra chicken cos he knows my dad..then the uncle still tok tat my mother is my dad's daughter then i was laughing inside my heart cos my dad look like an old man like tat..then alot of ppl ask my dad is tat ur daughter???then i just smile..then i think tat i eat so damn lot tat a guy was looking at me at the way i eat the spring chicken..i duno how i eat also but i know tat it's veri ugly and rough..but after tat i stopped eating cos i feel veri pei seh le..then halfway through i was eating, i duno why i manage to capture tat particular person of all ppl..becos he just seems to be like him...his attire and hair style and all those just seems too alike like him..so i am not reali certain whether is tat person is him or not cos i cant see clearly...i tried hard just looking at him but still cant see clearly..i duno whether he did see me or not..hope not cos tat day i wear until super ugly..i was hopeing tat he can join us to eat since all of my families memebers are there..but sad to sae, its no longer possible..maybe i just think too much, but i reali hope tat this day will come..my heart sae tat i still hav feelings for him when i saw him even though from far i can onli see tat not clear of him..i duno whethershould i call it as fate or not becos everything is just too qiao..and its my dad who let me see him..and i relai duno tat is it tat whenever i see a lrmeans tat i will see him veri soon>>..cos its like on last tues and wed, i did saw 2..i duno if heaven is helping me out of kindness becos even my dad works there now..but still i am telling mysekf tat at the end of next yr, if there is no ans from him and if he didnt bother to make any moves then i am just not waiting anymore..yh saes tat me and her are devoted ppl..do u think so??hmmm..actually to sae the truth, i was quite sad when i didnt turn bac to look when i went off..hai~~actually at times i do find myself veri stupid but girls are like tat..not meh>>yh also same as me, she would wait all day long, just for terrence msg but this never happens..actually at times, i find tat terence is veri heartless..i should sae tat guys are all heartless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
then i called yh on sun cos i feel like talking to someone to tell my troubles to..i told her abt what happened on sat and she told me tat most of the chances is tat i recognised the wrong person becos most of the time i never recognised a person correctly..but duno why i am quite certain tat the person is just him..its tat feeling tat cant be explained tat i am right..sigh..actually i already hav an ans deep inside my heart without even waiting for the and from him..but sersiously i reali hope tat there will be a miracleto what i am thinking..at times i felt tat my greatest mistake is to go into a relationship..if i know tat i hav such a weak character , then i wouldnt wan to go into a relationship..becos i know tat i dun know how to handle everything if there will be a break up..seriously i will reali think twice, thrice or even more if i ever wans to go into a relationship again becos i dun wan to get hurt again..and i dun think tat i will be tat easily touched by anybody unlike b4 becos for now, my heart has died..actually i hav alot of things to ask him in my mind, but i just dun dare..my mentality tells me tat gers should and should never make the first move, becos it will make u like u sound veri despo..and it will be a disgrace..maybe i just leave the qns unanswered forever..yh told me tat we will eventually be togtehr if he marrys late..but do u think its possible??sigh...
then by accident i found where my mum wrote his hp no so i just liquid it away becos i dun wan anyone of them to bother him again..i dun wish to giv him a fright just like last time..like tat he will then live in peace..
then yesterday went bowling..so sian man cos so little turn up, waste my time man..anyway yesterday i was damn angry becos of my mum and my hp went out of battery..we quarrelled beocs of some some little things..then hairdresser said tat me and my mother hav 2 differend personality..and i totally agree..she and my brother is the same and i follow my dad..actually i dun know whether this short hair looks nice or not..but i agress tat my hair style has changed..most probably ppl cant recognised me now...