~am i so inmature in thinking?~

haiz..i think in future i will try to stop talking abt dirty stuff in front of ppl liao..think need to be serious le..cos i think guys will be super turn off by this..alrights i will be as serious as wat i am in JC..will onli be serious and nothing else cos ppl think i am not serious at all...haiz..was kinda surprised tat ppl tell me this...and i think i give myself away too easily (win liao he somehow trick an ans out of me)..ppl can easily know wat i am thinking..haiz..he is the only one tat told me not to give up whereas all my friends tell me to give up cos they told me dun becos of one guy then forgo the green fields out there,meaning there are better guys out there..haiz..who should i listen man..he keep emphasing tat i must show ppl how i think..but my theory says tat i wont take actions unless i know the guy got interest for me too..else i will just suan ler..cos no point having him physically but inside his heart is all empty..wa lao if he tells him i sure gonna kill him man..i trust tat he wont tell him then say de..if not i think i gonna dig a hole and hide liao..he tell me to rest and wait a while,but i think i shall see first ba..since i say i am determined to give up liao, cant break wat i say unless got miracle happens..

one of my other guy friend thought i will cry..come on la..do i look so weak to u ? i am not like other gers cry over small issues la..to me dun like then dun like la..its not as if the world will collapse like tat..but if my bf breaks up with me then i will confirm cry like mad la cos tat's a different case and issue..aiya for now i will just heck liao cos my emo-ness already gone liao and it wont bother me for le..my mind is totally free now..all i know is to earn lots of money now for my taiwan trip and indonesia trip cos sch reopen i wan to change a new image again.trying to change myself to be more stylish ;)...and i need money to pay my sch fees which is like super alot..tat nuh job kinda earn so little la..initally still happy tat can work 2 shifts but now cant le..but cant blame tat ace la, cos i think he quite stress also..

then yesterday was kinda sian at home so decided to go shopping since i super long very stepped into shopping mall except for jurong point..i went to many places yesterday..IMM, suntec,citylink,marina square, orchard and doby daut..walk til my legs so cui la..then yesterday see so many things on sale so tempted to buy esp the clothes la..but later i think i going taiwan le so might well save up the money buy nicer ones..moreover those on sales are kinda office wear and i will not wear it often..so onli bought one belt and scarf..then save money le.. ;) wanted to buy the clothes de since so cheap but aiya thinking twice better not..so bought food to settle my cravings instead..then saw so many shoes on sales too,..was super tempted to buy also, but i try to control cos my house got so many heels and platforms le but haven wear (think got around 5 to 6 new ones lo)..think this time go overseas wanna buy a boots home..spore sell kinda ex man..then tat nite 9.30pm plus then decide to head home then saw weilian at the Plaza sing bus stop..initally didnt saw him then he saw me..initally wanted to take the same bus with him to bukit batok de, but later i too lazy to change bus so i took a straight bus bac to boon lay instead..

nowadays mum keep scolding me and nagging me tat i am always not at home de..true la..cos either i am off to work or else i just disappear from home to go shopping outside or just find something to do outside..u know i dun like to stay at home hear my mum's nagging cos she is kinda fann and many at times very unreasonable..so i would rather go outside have some peace..but yeah she was saying tat i treat this house like a hotel which is quite true..but i rather stay out than to stay at home hear her scold me..haiz,..today also never work lo..so find job online search for better jobs and also chat with friends..tml will be a better day ba cos i am working my next shift tml..haiz..thur gonna be a tiring day man..got to teach 2 students..sian..