last fri is the fri 13..no wonder so unlucky..we forced cm to sae out her secret since we gd friends mah then must share secrets..then came to know tat she and andy are ex..no wonder everytime she likes to hide behind me when she saw himand finally she admitted tat she is not a...asked abt how many times she has the experience and the ans was duno..then my first rxn was: "huh duno?"no wonder she so pro everythings also know..so me and yh take turns to ask her abt things tat curious us, u know u know..haha..then i was laughing like hell cos i reali canot take it when we talked abt such stuff..somethimes i do think tat have i mixed with the wrong company??cos yh likes to scold vulgarities while cm too open minded liao..scared later under their influcence will become like them..at boon laymrt station, just as i alighted the train, then saw rebecca..was she so hardworking sia, lives in yishun come all the way to city harvest just for church..eh seems like being christian not bad seh..ig i were given a chance i would rather be a free thinker, followed by christian then buddhist..i never believe tat god exists leh..duno why..unless i reali feel the presence of it then maybe i will believe..christine tries to convinced me during sec to convert to christian but duno why i am still a buddhist...maybe i just canot be bothered..then went to jp for window shopping..since can slack abit cos the next day no sch mah..then so qiao tat i met my mum when i was going to ntuc to buy so stuff..then she was with yi jie mum..she saes tat i reali slim down alot..face doesnt look as round as b4..so tanu cant call me pumklin face liao..yippie..then after tat we went to see clothes..usual stuff tat gers would do..then bought 2 tanks tops cos quite nice mah..think tat i wear tank tops nicer than t shirt leh..maybe in future will buy more of tank tops after my A levels when i am free to shop the whole day..after jc no more uniforms liao..headache seh must think of wat to wear so as to look presentable..realised tat most gers nowadays like my age seldom wear t shirt..they always like to wear skimpy clothings..esp they like to wear spaghetti straps..dun think i wan to wear those kind unless my body becomes thinner..think shopping with yi jie mum is more fun than my mum..everytime she will always sae me and shoot me bac..i treat yi jie mum as my frien like tat cos can communicate better with her even though she much older than my mum..plus she treat me nicer..not like my mum so outdated in thinking and so stupid..all she knows is just to nag and shout at ppl..
then mum suddenly praised me tat when i smile, i look actually nice cos i got dimple and she said it when we were buying clothes tat time..then i was thinking did i hear something wrongly, she always like to critise me tat i look veri ugly and walk like a tomboy who has this bad habit of shaking my leg..
then was watching the love at dophin bay again after i reach home..was 2 guys like the same ger and they did so much sacrifices just for the ger..wa so sweet rite..how i wish i could be tat ger..must be thinking i dreaming ba..ya quite true, i am forever dreaming in my lala land..can help it..but seriously does it happens in reality??hmm..
sat was crying again..my mum saw my chem quiz which i got AO for it then she was like syaing me..i was so pissed cos i am already so stressed liao...my mind still feels tired even after sleeping..i duno why..my mind hav to deal with so many things..emotions, sch work and fear of not doing well and abling to promote..i always tell myself tat never mind, tml will be a better day after i sleep..but this time it doesnt work at all man..my mum just dun understand many things ..she expect me to get straight As which is impossible..i am already working work hard liao but she just think tat i am slacking and sleeping away..i dun understand why i can do everything for hw but not tests..hai~~maybe my mind just couldnt over the barrier..anyway i just agrue with her tat i am not sleeping and i am not sleeping..i know what i am doing and i know i die die must promote this yt..so stop bothering me..my tone was just veri angry..duno why i hav patience towards othe ppl but not her..i dun treat my dad like this cos he more understanding..think she needs counselling lah..then she told my dad abt it and my dad sae her bac tat every ppl has different ability..as long as she did her best is ok already..then he told my mum not to nag so much at me..so after all i was laughing behind her bac cos my dad did help her..haha too bad..sometimes i feels tat i rather be a daughter of yi jie mum rather then my mum..cant she be more understanding??i am also a human being leh..
hmm..think tat my attitude has changed greatly which i think is gd..last yr i just had a heck care attitude but this yr i cant do tat anymore..both yh and i was like tat last yr so both of us ended up retaining..but this yr can see we working hard liao..but cm still so slcak..hai~~she got the brain but lazy to study..and hor i dun wish to lie to myself liao..i must face the reality..i am always unluckly and things never ever comes to a better light..so be it now or in time to come, things will never come true for wat i wished for..maybe i should learn to be tat ger in the show..i think tat IT is fading as times goes by, maybe not too sure..sometimes IT will come bac natuarally then tats the day i start to think and cry..hai~~when will this ever end??aiya this is so tired..sleeping also doesnt help at all..so how??
anyway i realised tat guys like to scold na bei..how come arh..weird..he used to like to scold tat also..yu hui also like to use tat word..not gd lah..
then i was thinking should i change my blog website then it will reali be my own personal diary whereby nobody will know what i write in it..then can sae whatever i wan..hai~~duno leh..should i? or should i not???ponders..
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