~ths biggest shock~

i didnt know tat cm asked ch for sex..the whole class knows liao except us..they tok tat we all know liao since we gd frien with her..i was shocked when denise told me abt it..then my first rxn was "huh?"then next i asked ch to ask him abt it..he still kept the msg..duno why, even though it is so disgusting..and the msg goes like this.."are u opened minded?am to hav sex"haha..ignored this if u wan.."gosh she reali sounds despo and she actually asked tat after 4 days after my birthday cos i rmb tat day i was talking to ch warning him tat cm likes him..anyway he was damn angry with her and wanted to call her slut and bitch if she continues to do tat to him..wa he reali angry liao..never see him angry b4..he actually knows tat cm wanted tat cos he is rich..but fuuny this time he actually knows..tok he always so blur one..anyway i just feel tat she is cheap, throwing herself at guys..think i should start distancing away from her cos she reali bad influence..
moreover all she did was unprotected..she could be a high risk of an aids carrier..sometimes i do feel bad when i talked bad abt her but cant help it..so sorry..anyway tanu told me not to stay so close to her..ya true..i tink next target will be justine..we shall see hor..then was going home then got ppl giving out leaflets abt church stuff..so i just tok it..then all of them are phrases extrated from the bible bk..some of them quite interesting but most sound bored cos i duno wat they trying to sae..they just sae tat we are sins and jesus is the god..ok..we are sins meh??i didnt do anything wrong then i will be considered a sin..huh?? a bit weird..
then on wed, cm told me in the morning tat andy asked her for tat..wa lao leh he reali sucks loh..got gf liao still wans to ask around and flirt around..so wat he is yan dao..his character just sucks..seeing him onli make me feel disgusted..lousy guy..
then during gp sat beside ch since tat cm tok my seat..i was surfing through some mm stuff and he saw it..to my surprised he is actually an mm member in sec 3 and 4..then he asked me"eh u never see me in great world in the 4th storey meh??i always go there play catching there..ppl there will know me.."then i told him, aiyau too short lah, didnt see u.." anyway i cant be bothered even though he is there..in the past i am onli interested to look at my ou xiang and his friens and my instrutors, then qwss and chinese high ppl..other than tat i dun reali look at the guys..he is actually from whitley sec, mouse call "the rider"..rmb his sch did quite well in one of the yrs..then he saes he know fhs cos always hear our sch name during the competition..haha our instrutor gd mah..anyway the world is reali small leh.we are actaully in great world but we duno each other...now we are in the same class..so qiao man..
then i realised tat nowadays cm is going to be a lesbian liao..cos from her character i can induced tat..then she saes" ur shoulder nice to lie on..can protect me..then i told her siao lah..then she still got sae more disgusting things to me like "hug me, ia m cold..then wan to f*** me.."gosh i was so disgusted by her man..anyway i just scold her and asked her not to be so er xin..even though she might not be serious abt wat she saes,i think, i still find tat disgusting..
thur got blood donation..wa so scary..the neddle is so fat..dun dare to donate even though i big size..after tat stayed bac after sch..then johnson and hao tan sit with me cos they see me alone..both the two go home liao..then they asked me abt cm..thinks tat she now has a bad reputation on class liao..anyway justine was there..wa he so cute when he smile and his tat blur look is so cute!!!then i if a veri veri pei seh thing by accident.,.then johnson ee so loudly tat the whole library turned around to look at me..gosh its so pei seh loh..i was blushing like hell..feel like diggin a hole to hide my face at tat time..and worst thing is tat the malay guy saw everything and he was laughing like mad..so sway loh to be caught by guys..if gers saw me then it wouldnt be so bad..
todae mood reali bad..hai~~duno wat should i sae..then during break time yh went to tell cm tat our class ppl know tat who is tat guy in the pict..then the matter reali blows up some sort..i manage to bluff my way to help johnson..hai~~then later we had a cold war for one period..i think tat now she dun trust us liao..i hope johnson will be ok..sigh...
then after the maths lect i went to find tat mr leong for something..then hor he said tat retainees are not surposed to apply..luckily u didnt apply, if not u are wasting resources..wa lao went i heard tat i am damn angry loh..ya lah i know tat i am a reatainee..i know u know down on us..then wat u wan me to do..then he said" why u retained?" then i told him tat i flung my gp plus promos did badly..then he sae, see lah never study..then my mind was thinking "wat the hell u are a teacher and yet u sae such mean things to ppl..u should be encouraging them to stand up again and not to look down on them and depise them.."anyway now i am super angry and i told them abt it..fine lah at most i dun apply lah..then i wont be wasting the sch resources..
then the spa physic test reali srew up initally cos i read the readings wrongly..but later i realised tat i changed the readings..luckily i manage to finish everything on time..but i was reali stress when i did the test..duno why..but still there is an anomalous point..but never mind ms lim said tat as long as u can explain then u still can get the full marks..but i doubt so..its either i will be deducted 1 or 2 marks..duno why i reali no confident..i am feeling scared when i entered the lab..hopefull i will do well..duno why nowadays i feel veri scaraed when taking tests..i scared tat i wont do well then i wont be promoted..my mind always hav this fear..how? how chould i conquer the fear..btw yesterday i had a dream abt him..cant rmb the dream cos it is reali vauge..anyway i am still curious does he still reads??
this week will be a long weekend..must take the time to rest my brain and recharged my battery..anyway i am totally lost, wat should i do..my head reali feel giddy..