Thursday, January 26, 2006

~nearly wanted to puke out~

kq was telling me something yesterday morning abt wat THAT GUY told her in the msg and she did show me the msg..cm still sae tat i hear liao confirm will be veri happy in my heart.but not reali leh, i dun feel happy at all, feeling was just neutral..ya, it was some praise abt me..ont want to sae wat the praise was abt cos super pei seh and later ppl will puke lah..ya, i nearly puke after seeing the msg cos those things came out of him..if other guys sae those then maybe not as bad..i am known to him as the korean looking ger..actually heard alot of different version of wat nationality i came from..china used to be a decription for me during my sec sch..then when i come jc, ppl sae i look like some jap, or korean..but none of this is correct..i am a singaporean =)ya, i was thinking he is veri stupid leh, sae all this things to kq, then obviously she will tell me wat..cos we are always together as a grp..then duno why so sway happen to see him when we are going to the class..both me and yh was smiling but i gei siao never see him cos super pei seh lah, somemore i also duno him..ya, gei siao is the tatic i always use when i feel pei seh..
yesterday just got bac my gp, maths and physic paper..i laughed at my mark when i got my gp paper cos its reali super bad and lousy..7.5 marks out of 33 marks..i think add language mark in total will add up to abt 30% out of 100..seriously i want sad at all cos failing go is no big deal cos i always fail..abit surprising i am not the lowest in class cos got other ppl lower than me..at least i am not the worst..ya then still got bac my phyics paper, got the same mark as zr, both of us highest in class which is so qiao..its seems tat ppl from my cca all veri smart..not saeing tat i am smart..i abit slow and stupid, but this and last yr got study..2 yrs b4 never even study b4, tat why always get F..seriously i wont show my C, AO,AO results to my employer in future, i will just dump it aside, tat shall teach me a lesson for not studying and slacking so much..seriously i think tat a person attiude reali matters a lot, wether or not u can succeed reali determine on ur attitude and determination to strive..actually i think zr smarter than me cos some of the qns just happen to get correct by luck..actually i also duno how to do also..eg was one like they were asking me why i got correct but they got wrong when they draw the almost the same reaction force arrow..i told them tat becos i prefer right than left so i draw right loh..ya, tat's reali a crap ans but tat was wat i was thinking when i was doing the paper..sometimes luck reali matters alot in taking exams..ch kept "complaining" why i get better than him and the way we argue just sounds funny..haha..the other side of the class quite quiet, all those guai guys and gers sit there..i think i talk super loud loh, whenever i speak, teachers can always hear my voice in the background..
then afetr sch went to bugis with yh cos she wanted to buy some clothes, if not seldom will see me leaving sch so early..seriously there quite cheap..saw a few tat i like but i find it mafan to try cos hands were carrying lot of stuff, my tys, and some food tat i bought from the bugis street..tat day reali super crowded no matter where i go, abit sian to squeeze with those ppl..and ya, saw lots of chio bu and lots of ah beng..OMG, the chio bu reali damn chio cos their eyes super nice, they make their eyes until super black until its so nice..nowadays also quite crazy abt fake eyelashes..for the time being wont buy cos i seldom go out, spend most of the time in sch, maybe after i finish this yr, then i will learn more abt make up stuff from bessie..she like super pro loh..i reali know nothing abt this kind of things..
CNY coming, gonna have lots of time to rest and zhuo bo abit..ya can wake up later..think sat will have lots of ppl in chinatown, confirm wont have fresh air to breathe man,just dun like ppl to smoke cos it stinks!! duno this yr got fire crackers or not..reali look forward to it..yh was suggesting tat on the marathon tat day we go have "reunion dinner" in probably some restuarants, but just scared later veri ex then no money to pay then will have to wash their dishes for them..
saw ppl selling V day present le, wondered V day tat day will do wat hor..hmm..maybe gonna be like normal days?seriously cant reali rmb why i canot make it for the V day last yr with mr C,but ya i think i am always full of excuses one lah..actually tat time i do know tat he was quite unhappy abt it but i didnt want to bring this matter up cos just scared later will quarrel and strain the relationship..somehow i feel tat many things are just my faults..except once a while he mood not gd then abit fierce when he talk..ya i will try to learn from my past mistakes if it is within my means, becos somethings are just out of my control..i dun wish to happen tat either..
actually this few days have been thinking tat actually i can start to accept guys who are younger than me abt, probably abt 1 yrs old..duno why arh, last time reali against the idea of liking younger guys..actually i think i click better with younger guys cos they childish and i also abit childish then equals to more childish..haha..and duno why i dun reali dare to look straight into tat guy tat used to observe him from far, maybe pei seh ba..i will try to look somewhere else, not body but surroundings..
seriously i dun feel any chinese new yr atmosphere in me, duno why leh, maybe i dun celebrate ba..my house onli hang 2 lanterns then no more liao..food also veri limited..if got ppl come then we die already cos nothing much things to entertain them..kay, last of all, happy new yr to all..=) enjoy ur day..

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