me and my guy friend was chatting abt relationship for the past few days..its been a long time since this topic struck my mind cos i never reali thought abt it since i felt tat such things should let nature take its course..if such things just dun happen, then just be it loh..to me, its not veri impt at this stage of life..maybe when i reach 25 then i will start worrying abt it (which is still way to go)..haha..
my guy friend was asying tat if i like someone then i should drop some hints to the guy..though i am a ger, he feels tat its still ok cos now gers also jio guys..but i feel likewise becos i am happy with the things now..seeing secretly him from far is just gd enough for me and moreover i also duno if it is a feeling of liking or just pure admiration of his smile..and moreover i feel tat things are confirm not possible between us and i never dreamt of progressing one step ahead cos it will be a fantasy by then..haha..
of cos the next day after we chatted, so qiao i bumped into him...so i turned bac to confirm if it is him cos as usual i am always tat "Blind"..yup, i was rite and he saw me turning bac taking a glance at him..of cos i was kinda pei seh cos i think its quite ovbious and esp the moment we saw each other..but i pretended nothing happened and walked reali slowly so tat he could bypass me..
wed also saw my pri sch classmate on the 243 bus but i guess she cant recognised me cos i was wearing spects at tat time, despite the fact tat she was standing just right in front of me..i was kinda shocked tos ee her with a guy as she was lying on his arms..so i supposed he is her bf?? in the past when i was in pri sch, she gave me the impression tat she is super guai..perhaps as time goes by, many tings and people will change ba...i didnt say hi to her since i haven gotton over the shame of staying in jc for 4 yrs cos its reali easier said than done..and i expected tat she will ask me why am i still in uniform..as i didnt have te courage and i wasnt ready to ans her qn, so i choose to "prentend" tat i didnt saw her..of cos, if tat day i wasnt wearing sch uni, then highly i will call her and say a hi..maybe i am sill trying to escape the issue of ppl questioning me..even i look down on myself, let alone others and i wouldnt be surprised if ppl look down on me and give me tat kind of "look"..
newspaper reported many news abt the stiff competition this yr for the uni intake, depsite the fact tat they have increase the no of intake...i belived tat next yr will be a tough yr too since so many ppl are reapplying next yr and i need to do super well in order to secure a place..and gp is my greatest concern now and i think i am the lousiest in class in terms of gp cos i have just received my results slip and i obtained the 1.9 pecentile which is super super bad...yup, this time i got an extreme F and i expected tat..wah sian, so my teacher was asking me wat happened..of cos the rest of my subjects still ok but tat stupid gp marks spoils the whole result slip..seriously in my opinion i think passing to me in prelims or block test is not gd enough cos i have set higher expectation for myself since i dun wan to get 'c" and going nowhere.at times i reali feel like giving up on gp cos as long as u do well for ur content subjects still can go uni, just tat have to take some extra english module..and i admit tat i spend no single effort on gp cos i just cant be bothered becos its somethings tat cant be mastered within months and i cant even settle my 3 subjects, let alone spending time on gp..prelims are just 3 wks from now and veri fast things will end veri soon..seriously i cherish my times in sch cos this will be reali the last time i will be in sch and i reali enjoy the days as student cos i always get to experience laughter and sometimes those xiao di di and xiao mei mei 's actions reali damn stupid and funny ah..but i reali dun feel like gping for the gradutaion ceremory in oct cos it just reminds me of the sad memories in yj and the principle will be there so confirm she will see me de..at times i feel tat maybe i am still quite lucky..at least i do have my repeat friends to pei me finish this yr journey, actually i am not tat lonely going through this tough journey ahead..weekend will be busy again as usual cos i have to rushed my homework again cos weekend i dun usually do much or i dun do at all..
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