this few days ever since my dad says that something is not really right with his health then my mum everyday bad mood liao and keep snapping at people for no reason..i understand tat she is worried for my dad tat's why she is snapping at ppl for no reason now..but somehow i still think she should control her temper lo..i mean i am kinda fed up with her too la cos i dun think i have done anything wrong lo, but she kept on scolding me for no reason..and i understand tat she dun wan to lose a husband so soon, neither do i wan to have no father so soon..of cos i worried for my dad too la..but even though i am worried for my dad, i still need to continue on and live on with my life wat..cant expect to let my life stay stagnant right..even my dad take it postively since he says that when its time to go, he needs to go de..wah..i hear liao so sad man..cos i dun wan ppl who are dearest to me to leave me so soon ma..i mean he is such a nice father and yet heaven is so unfair to him by taking his life away so early..he still has lots of things haven done yet leh..he still haven get a chance to carry his grandchildren..etc..so i reali hopes tat he lives up to long ripe age man..and the jialat part is my dad has seen so many doctors liao and went to so many hospitals and yet none of the doctors can conclude why my dad keeps on bleeding when he urines..my dad said tat there could be quite a no of possiblies..one of them could be cancer..hai ~ when i heard tat my heart reali gt kinda upset cos this is something like an un-cureable and terminal illness..all i can do now is to pray hard that nothing serious happens to my dad now..kinda worry for his health lately...afterall he is so old liao and yet still need to earn a living for us..abit poor thing man..
then last sun suddenly gt so many ppl jio me out for gathering and meetings this week..duno why also..initally still wanted to nuah at home for a week to do nothing, but end up seems tat i need to step out of home liao..intially today was supposed to have 2 meet up session with friends de..one in the morning, the other was in the evening time, but later i didnt go cos was too tired and have something earlier on..evening time was supposed to go rock climb with them de, but i was worried for my dad health and wan to know his health results as soon as possible since he went to see doctor again, so i decided to cancel it liao..actually i am already outside and ready in my attire liao to go meet them, but last min i changed my mind and decided to head home..so now i feel abit guilty towards my friends liao for last min not going for it..haiz..and thur and fri also booked liao..so only left weekends for myself to nuah liao..thur going to sentosa again for beach picnic..initally was kinda sian to go there since i went there last week liao then now this week going again..so of cos will feel abit sian la..but no choice la, since its a class meet up session, i think i should go then since i long time never see some of my ex JC classmates liao..fri going east coast to roller blake and cycle..yipee..time to tan again..ok tat time i go sentosa came bac didnt reali gt tan at all..so i half sian liao..my legs still as fair as before..arms at least gt darker abit, but still not as dark as i wan..heng my face didnt gt reali tat tan..i think now the tan is just nice.. ;)
and talking abt expectations, my parents did ask abt my results but apparently they didnt say much abt my results, so means ok to them liao..actually this time i think i did quite ok la..not too lousy neither is it gd either after averaging it out..but my life sci reali quite cui la..tat is the subject tat i am lousiest at and i expected tat i will get a C+ grade for tat too..heng next sem i not going to see tat liao..but next sem i am going to touch computing stuff...i think i kinda sucks at comp stuff too and i think i am a noob at comp stuff too..but sec sch i did learn algorithem before due to the needs of my CCAs,but apparently last time i couldnt get it, now i think i still couldnt get it either cos reali too chime liao..few more days to sch reopens..after which i must tell myself tat i must piah again and be serious in studies liao..canot everyday shop and slack like nobody business..i must prove to my mum that even though a retainee doesnt mean tat i will always fail in life..though now my mind still have a barrier of tat retainee mindset cos it wasnt easy for me to lift up my head tat time when i gt retained..everyone gave you tat look and the stereotypes..so tat time i couldnt reali face things up to reality..always live in my hidden cage and dare not expect much cos i scared i will fail again..but at least this time i am happy tat at least the few hours of sleep everyday hasnt been paid off..at least it was worthwhile ;)
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