Wednesday, March 18, 2009

~desperately lost and pissed~

tues was another day of lesson, but apparently everyone pon class again after the maths tutorial lesson..haiz..it seems tat lesser and lesser ppl in our clique are attending lesson now..onli left me,hy and terrence the 3 of us to survive alone..actually i am fine being alone cos anyway i am used to being alone when i work tat time..i guess now it still applies even though i am in sch..i dun reali like to dependent and follow others just becos they dun wan attend class. then i will pon with them..at this time i will exercise my logic cos i used to be once like them so slack and reali heck care abt everything in yr 1 of my JC and ended up i gotton my lesson..so from then on, i tell myself tat i canot be like tat le..i guess tat particular big failure reali gave me a reali heavy impact and wake me up from my playfulness..and moreover i promised my dad tat i will study hard in uni so i shouldnt let him down..alrights probably i can understand tat they pon lesson cos they live very far..so its kinda tired..but still poning too much reali not gd. cos i have seen past history of many of my friends saying tat they will study if they will pon, but end up they ta bao the module cos they keep piling up the lectures tat they pon and the day before the exam, they can still tell me tat they still left 11 chp to catch up with..my first reaction to them was, "Omg.." i guess many of my friends cases also have influenced and impacted me to certain extent so i guess i dun wan to end up like them ta bao-ing..and i have many fears in mind too..cos i have to pay alot for the sch fees if i dun do well..the money part is reali one issue cos its quite a big sum of money..tat's why i always been telling myself tat i canot slack too much..must jiayou and try my best no matter how hard its going to be..even if i dun well, but at least i have tried my best..then at least i wouldnt feel tat sad..

whee then yesterday went to lect with them then kinda qiao tat he was sitting with lab guy clique, so we join them..haha..i think in future we can reali merge group liao man..cos i think i can reali click well with those grp of guys..i think lab guy has misunderstand tat i might like kinfai cos i always kuah him very nice in dressing..lohz..i like kuah ppl in dressing doesnt mean anything wat..liking him seems totally wrong word lo..the after which went to peer tutoring with hy..initally i intended not to go de, but since hy is going then i shall be nice and pei him a while..then our own way saw him again..whee he smiled to me and i was kinda mesmerized by his smile..haha..but yesterday is my super earliest day when i reach home so early man..cos i wanted to go home early to do tutorials de, but ended up sleeping..lohz..

and lately i am kinda pissed by this thing..hope i will just cool down man..

No comments: