yesterday wanted to msg him to wish him gd luck for his exam but i hav no courage to do so after thinking for so long..so i decided not to do so liao..ok maybe i am bad..i was thinking yesterday tat since i na de qi jiu yao fang de xia..so i be reali trying my best to do so..but cant be tat fast in healing..
actually thinking of it, i dun mind being dump if everything is my fault lah..in life, its either u get dump by ppl or ppl dump u..the world is always so cruel..but tats is life..seriously i dun hate him becos no point ppl find it tiring to stay with me and yet hold ppl bac..this will only make things worst..i always believe tat i dun need a guy to survive..if they are yours, they will be always be urs, if they are not meant to be urs, then juz let it go..no point gripping tightly..i am feeling better as days goes by..but no duno why whenever i juz go home, i would juz quarrel with ppl esp my mum..maybe its juz tat my mood isnt gd..has reflected these 3 days on the fact tat i am dumped..wee ping did told me once tat if u know tat a guy is going to dump u , then juz dump him first..becos gers pride is veri impt..tats why gers should never get dump...but i chose to let him dump me becos all the problems arises becos of me..maybe letting ppl dump me will make me feel better..and not i dump ppl when ppl didnt even do anything wrong..even though the impact of being dump is hurting, butmuz learn to recover..wee ping also said b4 tat "dun be foolish lah, since u know tat he is going to break up with u then juz breakup with him first..u scared u dun hav ppl to woo u isit given ur critieria"..aiya, i juz think tat she dun understand afterall becos she as never gone into a relationship..after all he is my first bf, cant sae so easily tat if u wan to let go then can let go..it will still take abit of time afterall he is a guy tat i truly love..
todae was the first time talking to justine after so many months..realised tat he reali look like bc..the way he talk also so shy and pei seh..seriously i like his features man..how i wish i got his features then i sure gd looking liao..aiya i am juz craping..and reali tired..hai~~life still hav to go on.. =(
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