Monday, April 25, 2005

tears rolling down my cheeks....

hai~find myself so stupid..dun even know how to use a G clamp on the ruler to the stool..gosh i was panicking more when the teacher kept looking at my clumsyness..think my phy practical reali canot make it..i always cock up during physic pract..i am seriously lousy in doing practical..how arh??i so scared of the SPA test shich will be on the next weeks time..and it will be counted for the A levels practical exam..at least i am not tat scared for chem..becos i know what i am doing..during chem normally i finished veri fast becos i know wat to do but phy nor reali veri blur..they juz giv us a pict and we are expected to set up the whole thing...wa lao eh i reali blur..how how>>always muz ask ppl for help..then fri saw tat smiliy again..he is forever smiling one man..never seen him without a smile b4..
nowadays entre ppl saw me and said long time never see u in entre liao..u quit liao arh..yup i said..actually not i dun like entre..its juz tat duno what will i do after they leave..plus entre got lots of stuff to do..still muz do cafe duty and mop the floor all those stupid stuff..seriously i reali damn lazy to do house chores so i think this cca doesnt fit me..so i chose to leave..but the new cca doesnt seem to be as interesting as it is..hai~~but last few days saw ms ong, she did smiled at me and said hello..ok at least she is not angry woth me for leaving..so i need not hide from her anymore..was doing maths the whole day on sat...wa lao do until i siao man..so many qns..nowadays juz feel veri emotional..wa lao the guy in the show is so sweet to his wife, but yet they cant be together again becos his wife has let him down..hai~~think tat gd guys are hard to come by..actually thinking of gd guys make me think of "th and bc"..last time use to tok tat they not gd becos they look like ah beng..esp th..saw his pict in sec sch at ms sally sng desk when i was in sec..but later my impression of them hav changed after seeing the way they treat us and the way they treat their gf..and yan hui was also telling me tat the ultimate guy tat will be with u for life will not be a yan dao..normally its the character tat matter to the gers most in the end..ya i agree with her..most of the guys tat i like b4 are not yan dao..then my friends always say eee my taste is so bad..i remember this is what normally maril will say to me last time.. but as long as i like can liao wat..i shouldnt matter what ppl says to me..
was listening to F.I.R, twins, and sylvester songs..think tat they songs not bad..the twins look veri shio and cute to me..no wonder so many like them..then dad was sick now..hai~~feel veri kelian for him..sick liao still muz work to earn a living for us..then he still cough out abit blood..hai~~this is bad..hopefully he can get well soon..
was playing piano on sun evening..finally i understood wat my teacher told me in the past..she said "put in al your feelings into the piece..and i got it..i reali put all of my feelings into the song and tears started rolling down my cheeks unknowlingly.. i thought of the gd memories and the words tat he told me juz b4 we left each other and i pictured everything into the song..i still feel tat his words is juz like a knife stabbing into my heart and its veri hurting til now..still can rmb wat he said clearly in my mind..i can still rehearse everything bac..i dun know whether is he still reading my blog or not..whatever it is i should say watever i feels exactly..and not hiding the truth..and if u feels nothing abt it, the onli thing tat i can say is i like the wrong guy...

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