Wednesday, March 21, 2007

~i finally made the final decision~

mon i did a major decision and my mum wake me up to ask me if i am go bac sch for the time being to retake my A levels, and yet i am reali angry with her now cos tat time right after i got my results i ask her if i can retained and she told me a firm NO and now, she regrets it after brain washing from her friend..wat is this man, tat time u shattled my hopes, and now u wan to go bac sch for the time being..but after we came bac from sch, then she decided to change her mind again then she thinks tat i dun wan me to go bac sch again..wat the hell, she is damn fickle minded lah, kept changing her mind..but i dun care man, i think going bac to sch will be the best solution to solve all my problems..my mum stress tat its not as if i fail or wat, tat's why she is against retaining, but to me this kind of results cant go anywhere and moreover private uni is too ex,we cant even afford it..so i think tat retaining will be the best solution to it, as least i will do better for the A levels subjects, but gp wise i cant confirm cos afterall i always fail gp and there is not much improvement even though i retain.sigh..the teacher in charge asked me why i decide to come bac sch so late cos the application has closed, but i kept quiet cos its not my fault wat, its my mum who refused wat..i think my mum is just mad man cos she wans the teacher to allow me to take music instead of my 3 main subjects..then the teacher was giving me tat look,but its not wat i wan wat,tat's just my mum wish..then she sae, "girl,look..i can offer u onli the previous subjects tat u took.."wa lao suddenly felt tat i kana scolded for no reason cos i didnt sae i wan to take music in the first place, its all my mum's wish..anyway things were settled pretty fast,think 20 mins settle everything le..initally she wanted me to start sch on tues,but i didnt wear my sch uniform, so canot..then she sae wed, but i told her i canot also cos i haven finish my application stuff so i tell her tat i will go bac sch on fri..actually on the other hand, i was thinking tat i also dun wan take the block test lah..i didnt touch the notes for so long le, cant expect me to give me a day to study then i must go for exam..so i choose not to go..fri i am going bac sch for normal lessons le..actually i am reali ashamed to go bac, but i reali dun have a choice..seriously i dun dare to lift up my head when i was in yj tat time to appeal cos i reali find it veri pei seh..the most ppl will retain is onli 3 yrs and i took 4 yrs..argh !!how can not feel ashamed..and i am reali scared when i go bac sch on fri cos i will alone..scared tat i will have no friends, then must eat alone and study and go for class alone..so pathetic..too bad yk not same class as me, else i will stick to him..hai~~now i am also worried abt my hair colour..my hair is dyed and confirm i will kana caught by teacher de, but i just dun wan dye my hair black lei..else all my previous effort will be wasted...
i am also worried now tat my mum will suddenly call up the sch to sae tat i wan to withdraw from sch cos even up to now, she is against it..i scared she will call up the sch to make trouble for them and me..hai~~and she demand tat i tranfer money to her bank for the sch fees and everything..but i just find it ridicious la..she sae tat if i dun tranfer to her, then she will call the sch to withdraw my application..hai~~~fann arh, where can i find money for her man, i used up most of my money tat i worked..anyway i dun care liao la,i confirm plus guarentee wont tranfer money to her, she can do all she wan,and i am not leaving the sch unless the local uni is willing to take me..all she cares is money, and not my future..wat is this man..but seriously when jing yi knew abt this, he took the iniative to lend me money, but in the first place, i didnt sae i wan to borrow any money from him..but anyway i am reali touched by wat he sae..haha..he indeeed has a kind heart..i am worried how am i going to survive now cos my mum just wont give me a single cent to sch, not even the transport fees and allowance for food..die man, where can i find money to support myself other than my dad giving me money..argh!!
tues was reali busy editting my application for uni..actually must reali thanks wee ping for her time cos she spent her previous time for me..then wed, which is todae, went out with lina to SMU and SIM..when i go SIM, saw yi ping, and indeed she has changed alot..i was thinking tat time where has she gone, and i know now..its SIM..seriously i see the course le..hai~~sad to sae mostly i dun like,i onli like the biomedical engineering, the rest is mostly business related and i have no interest in econs, so it seems tat i dun like most of the course..then how,i onli have one choice, tat's work super hard now and make sure i can go local uni..and moreover its super ex man..later when to ngee ann to eat chicken chop..haha, abit lame to go there just to eat chicken chop but i reali miss the chicken chop over there wat and i miss the time spend in ngee ann when i was in sec sch preparing for my mm competition..later when to SMU to pay the $15..all i can sae is SMU Is a super rich college..
tml i shall start preparing to take out my lectures notes le and from tml onwards i will gonna busy again..but tat time i am reali happy when i saw my idol2 when i came bac sch tat time..think he should have saw me ba cos its super obvious when i am wearing home clothes..

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