wed i came home pretty late though i finished lesson quite early,abt 3pm like tat..guess wat i am doing.haha,as usual..ppl who know me well will find me in the library surfing net..and the ans is yes..tat day saw 3 ppl in all and stopped for each person to talk..first was ade..yup, she was kind of shocked why am i in sch.yup,the ans was obvious i think..next was shu ting and her friend..i didnt saw them initally despite the contant waving to me.sorry at times i just canot see ppl waving to me cos i didnt wear my spects.then they ask me abt my results and i told them..they sae i shouldnt worry and scared so much cos they sae i can go in de..but is tat the case?i reali dun dare to sae so..cos jin yi got exactly the same results as me last yr and he didnt get in..so i dun dare to pin too much hope.talk til 7.45pm then manage to board the train to go home..then so qiao saw terence.both of us was like pretending not to see each other initally cos he cant recognised me,but somehow he still feels tat its me.and somehow i also feel tat the person is just terence.yup,i wasnt wrong this time..so we take train all the way bac home,but he alighted at bukit batok cos he live there.surprising we have lots of things to talk abt considering in the past,we didnt reali talk much.it seems tat both of us have no where to go man.hai~seriously i reali regretted studying jc cos tat cert cant reali go anywhere.moreover i told them many times tat i am not the jc type liao but they stil dun wan listen,so wat now.the truth has shown itself.now,i can just pray hard tat things go as i hope to.then becos i came home reali late,then end up i slept at 2.30am just to complete my maths cos he wan me to hand up on thur.but even til 2.30am i still cant complete cos i forget everything liao and i need to recap and flip my lectures notes..all these takes time and seriously i have a hard time doing the maths paper though exactly its not not reali veri veri tough one..anyway the next day i came to sch reali tired cos i onli sleep like 3hrs..then thur morning,my maths teacher ask me to hand up but i cant so i tell him the reason..luckily he didnt scold me cos usually he will..so he gave me up to fri to complete.thur nite i still sleep at 2.30am again..cos i still haven complete my maths paper..tat's pathetic man..the paper should be completed in 3hrs and yet i took like 9hrs to complete it..
todae,fri,i was reali veri troubled..so i onli came to sch for 2 lessons cos the rest of the lessons are not applicable to me.so i am asking myself this qn tat it is reali effective to comtinue to stay in sch cos i feel tat i dun reali learn tat much..those i learn are not applicable to my syllabus too..wat the hell,most of the time,i spend my time rotting lah or not paying attention cos its not required in my syllabus.ms lim,my new form teacher somehow talk to me also me retaining.she feels tat its not pointless to retain at this pt of time cos she sae tat the syllabus has changed and i am taking the old syllabus instead.she asked me to think over it..indeed this few days i am thinking but i still cant find a definite ans to it..she sae actually i know wat i want to do, just tat i am scared of the consequences..ya,wat she sae was rite..i am indeed scared of the conquences,so i dare not quit sch up to now though i reali feel like it.cos i feel tat its pointless to stay on when most of the time i have lots of free periods rotting in sch.actually i wan to work now cos i prefer working than studying but i reali dun dare to face the consequences of choosing this route cos i know tat i cant go no where.she told me not to take too long to consider but i relai duno leh..tat's why i am so troubled wat..hai~~now i am reali rotting like mad man.i am reali not in the mood of doing serious work now cos i still haven made up my mind of wat to choose now.sigh..why is my life so many obstacles de..how i wish i were not born man..up to now,i am still hiding cos i still dare not lift up my head to look at my teachers..i tend to hid my face away when i saw them..yk sae i am siao,but i reali dun dare to face my teachers wat and moreover i feel reali ashamed for staying in yc for 4yrs..maybe tat;s the physical part tat i reali need to overcome ba..hai~weekend are coming and i need to complete lots of hw too..hai~i shall start tml..
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