~a new smart phone ! YIPEE ! ~

this week was kinda busy wif lots of work..damn shit had to clear supervisor half done work when i dun even know anything from the start. I have no contact details of the candidate also then i was supposed to arrange everything for the candidate including his money and filghts..zzz seriously cant he settle everything before he take his leave..cos it will leave your colleagues to have a hard time settling the stuff as we have no idea wat have been arranged for the candidate and wat has not been arranged..then BD manager keep pressing us for CV and director also press up..come on la my dept only left 2 ppl..we not machine leh.so many things to do then stil got so many request,..


then wed nite met up wif dear to try out our luck for the thai buffet tat we bought online..totally cui cos the restuarant closed down..zzz end up got cheated off $28 like tt..so bo bian after tt went to the food centre to have dinner.then after tt dear dear passed me my christmas gift..ITS MY MOST EXPENSIVE GIFT EVER !! AN S3 SAMSUNG SMART PHONE !! so of cos i will reject taking it cos its freaking ex..but i am not a hp person, so i dun really need such a gd phone..ppl like me just need a normal phone will do..perhaps some watapp will do..but not to the extend of having such an ex phone !! honestly speaking, i have been surviving pretty ok without whatapp for almost 2 weeks..but i do find some chore and mafan as i missed out alot of grp chats ;( nevertheless THANKS YOU MY DEAR !! i believe he is really crazy to buy me a HP but still thank you !!


Thur nite after work met up with my uni clique..had meaty dinner..honestly speaking i dun really like too meaty stuff, and after eating a few western cusine, i realised i dun like german food.perhaps their food not to my liking, cant really say its not nice cos some of my friends do find it nice.

Fri was on half day..so defintely i was very happy.went a couple of place.dental, blogshop shopping and last destination was expo !! went to check out the TV Price but end up mum lazy to go today to buy unless i go with her..honestly speaking i know her pattern one..she always see and never buy so i really v sian go wif her.

then ytd i was busy wif chalet..had BBQ food !! and its really awesome cos its been a long time since i had BBQ food..so ate alot ytd.

Man i have so many things to do but i never seem to have priority for that.needa send CV,settle my new phone, search for tuition jobs.blah blah so many more but never seems to have time.

~happy week filled with christmas happiness ! ~

 last tues was eug's friend wedding and  i decided to dress up for the occassion..everyone in the company was asking where am i going since i was really dressed up with make up and assessories.. you know ppl like me rarely will dress up unless got occassion..else usually you will see me wearing either very nuah on weekends or either wearing very normal to work on weekdays.other than that i dun dress up cos i find it a chore..That nite was fun and ate lots of nice food. Not to mention the bride was really chio..come to tink of it, which bride wouldnt be chio on the wedding day de..


then last wed went to JB For a while til evening time before heading bac to SG..yes cant imgaine i bought a pillow back spore..yes i admit its very auntie but its cheap who cares and i do not have any meet up later so it doesnt matter..then evening time after i came back SG, i went to town to watch movie alone..first time watching movie alone man..but i dun feel tt lonely as i thought initally. And That heartless bf actually went off for his ATC gathering cos he totally forgotten abt it so he no choice but to pang seh me..


Sat went for another blogshop warehouse sales again..yes i was bloody pissed off with the person cos my buffet bag was only half filled and he say i muz zip up the buffet bag, else i am not allow to leave, since i felt tt its only half filled so i took another dress but its just somehow v pack that it has no allowance, so totally cant zip up and i was bloody piss of cos i left the shop wif half of the buffet bag filled only..so damn bo hua..the guy alrdy knew that the last piece of clothes just nice occupy the whole bag but he is stil unreluctant to let me leave cos i cant zip the bag..so i was damn bu shuang and say tt guy back..but end up i stil leave the shop wif the bag half filled.yeah so moral of the story is what i bought is almost equivalent to wat i buy in bugis..then what's the point of buying the buffet bag at $35 leh..



Sun went for our couple photoshoot.yes we volunteer to be my friend's model since i wanted to take those very nice couple shots le..but ya this chance came at the right time..;)

This yr christmas eve i decided to stay over at eug's friend hse and celebrate christmas..usually my style is i wont like to stay over cos i really no transport home plus his friends all stay north side,damn bloody far for me to travel bac..so it got really late that i bo bian have to stay over at his hse to save taxi money..yes i was really hesistant to stay over at his hse cos afterall we came bac his hse ard 3 plus liao..plus ppl parents alrdy asleep and i sneak into his hse to sleep..abit not approriate..i also duno if his mum saw me or not lo..but his dad woke up at that time then saw me..so i duno wat to do, but pei seh cos afterall not very nice for a girl to go her bf hse to sleep..and yes luckily the nxt day was holiday..didnt sleep much so came back home sleep again til evening.

~hai other big illness again~

Now after my eye pain has finish, now come my chest..zzz why i keep getting weird pain all over my body..very xin ku lo..its really a sign that my body is become weaker as i grow older..

last mon was on MC since i went to remove the lash. Then tues came back for work since i have no MC to cover for it le. ;( then tues went to meet dear for dinner then thur took half day off to enjoy our couple massage at ultimate spa. ;) super like the spa cos the ambience was really gd !! totally love it !! if only we have money to buy the outdoor spa tat will be even better but honestly speaking, it will be too indulgence and wasting money. But i hope to get a private pool in a resort one day when i travel. Shall go bali for that ;)

Then sat chest was kinda pain again so i decided to see a doc..the doctor was damn bloody rude and black face..still say me : dont tell me what to do, i tell you what to do,.walao..damn attitude !!! hate this kind of doc. and worst til everyone go in 2-3 mins jiu come out. What kind of doc are u man. are u really treating your patients seriously? how can it be everyone so fast !!!

Sun went to took our family graduation photo again. Yes this time round we tried more of the candid style. I ask dad to wear the graduation gown since i wanted to photos to turn out less formal and more chic..and i gave him a very stupid idea to wear those funky black spects to look chic. and he try it and the photo looks really damn cute !! shall post it after 2 weeks after i go collect the photo ;)


chest pain man...hopefully it will be really fine soon ;(

~updates on my eyes~

kay the wonderful thing for the past weekend was that i was on MC for 3 days. yes didnt expect the hospital is such generous towards giving so many days of MC. But lucky they give me 3 days also cos out of it 2 days i am really suffering in pain.. that day on Monday, i went to SGH eye specialist with the referal letter but then they tink of not willing to accept me since i am a walk in patient..But this kind of sudden pain how to have appointment one..they also die die dun let me consult the doc tt day even if i have the doctor referal letter..zzz so end up they ask me go A&E to consult the standby doctor since the receptionist say that i will be paying almost the same amount since i am referred from a private clinic..ya lo so really sian diao..its not really tt serious that i have to go A&E lo..


though its was A&E, i dun feel like i am in an emergency suitation cos i waited for 3 hrs plus to get treatment..zzz walao and i was really suffering from pain that time..and the headache kept on wont go off,. then those A&E doctor also duno wat is the problem, so get the eye doc from the eye clinic to come down to diagnose me..but lucky there is nothing on my eyes, just that i have one abnormal lash tat is growing inwards the eyes, tat's why its like poking into the eye, causing lots of infection and discomfort.. so solution to it will be tmr ( Mon ) i have to burn off the lashes tat is affecting and growing into the eyes..i tink this is kinda scary but i dun hv a choice.wanna cut myself but this wont help in the long run since in future it will grow even longer and cause more pain to the eyes ;( so ya lo.


then tues and wed was on MC so went for dental since i do not hv much leave left for this yr..so shall not waste the MC..then after dental,my dentist friend gave me 2 big injection ;( cos i have a very deep and big decay near the nerve of the tooth so have to put anethesia.. but ppl like me zai one cos despite of tooth pain, i still can go eat dim sum buffet for that day cos really too pack liao..and so many things to do but not enuff leave..so really cant waste the leave..


then weekend didnt do much..went another blogshop warehouse sales again..man this month like every wk go every warehouse sales..zzz jialat lo this month expenditure really very high..some more need to buy christmas gifts and present for dear.then sat since i was free after the warehouse sales, so went to expo and get gifts.. generally most of them are good buy ;) then bought clothes for dear dear since i know he damn lazy go there so i choose and buy for him..at nite pass him all the stuff i bought i am very certain that my mum will scream at me at how much things i bought..so putting at his hse would defintely be safe..haha i tink sooner or later his cupboard will be all my new clothes. ;)

tmr will be my minor surgery lash removal le..hope will be painless and pls dun freak me out !!  i am really scared !

~what happen to my eyes :( kinda depressed ;( ~

this whole wk was shopping week..shop like crazy..bought blazer, pants, tops..but all of them are real cheap so dun buy a bit wasted ya..and cant believe i bought branded pouch for christmas gifts..kay la its really nice and quite ok as a gift so just buy lo..but then very sian diao cos the person that i manage to pick dao is a guy ! not a girl ! totally zzz lo..

then wed was alrdy very happy planning to take MC the next day ( thur ) but in the end it failed cos my BD manager suddenly ask me on that day if i will join him for the networking event at MBS..then wat can i say man, i cant possibly say" sorry i cant make it cos i on MC ;( " then i bo bian say ok i will be there tmr ...so i totally damn sian liao lo cos whenever i wanted to take MC it always failed.. i cant let it to waste since my colleagues always misuse MC since they a bit jiu MC Liao..but i nv use it at all lo..must at least use it once in this yr.

thur was damn busy for me..had to finish clearing my email as fast as possible plus the boss indirectly say me that i upload job on the career portal was very slow and they pay alot of money on that portal..so bo bian i upload some to show the boss what he wants..seriously uploading those jobs really very time consuming man..not that i dun wan to upload it often, but once i upload those jobs, i dun have the time to headhunt for ppl..so would you want me to headhunt ppl or would u wan me to upload jobs ??

After i went for the networking wif them..true indeed that i get a better understanding after going for the networking..But the worst thing has happened to me on that day.. Duno why out of the sudden my eyes were suddenly damn pain and its really no reason damn pain..ever since that day i couldnt see clearly..vision gets blur suddenly for my left eye when i was walking halfway..after that i get very bad headache following the blurred vision..yes, i felt very terrible cos i am afraid something could happen to my eyes ;(


fri i turned up for work feeling very tired cos i was really shagged liao..so many emails and positions piling up duno where should i start from..kinda stress..but the eyes really cant take it..it was so pain tt i could hardly open my eyes for 10 mins.. so bo bian ended up i requested my supervisor if i can do visit the doctor or not to check if something is wrong wif my eyes..after visiting the doctor i was bloody pissed off cos my eyes were really sick liao and he dun wan giv me MC. He say that my eyes are due to dryness and after applying eye drops would be fine..that bloody doc so impatient and nv even look into my eyes carefully to check..all he did was just issue me eye drops..so bloody angry cos i am not faking to be sick but the doctor thought so..i suspect it was sore eyes at tt time, but i wasnt sure. so sat when i was shopping at the blogshop festival, my eyes got sudden blurry images also..so i decided to see a doc since morning that time my vision was pretty ok..But the headache was real terrible so decided to visit another doc this time round.. The doctor couldnt check out wat's wrong wif the eyes also..blurred vision plus headache after tt is really something wrong. that time 2 months ago when i had sore eyes wasnt that bad..at least not headache after tt..tat's why he wrote a letter and reffered me to SGH..hopefully tmr nothing bad will happen after the check up wif the eye specialist..

i am really damn scared ;( cos eyes is something that cant play play with..and weekends my mood was really bad cos i was feeling partly depressed and pek chek.. really gonna pray hard tmr ;(

~dear finally met up wif my dad after a yr plus~

last wk was kinda a monotonus week..hai everyday like nothing to do ;( tat's life now without no aim..in the past, i was a book mugger, now no book so keep me occupied, seriously boring..wanted to find job, but everytime say say end up no time find over the weekends..either i wake up too late in the afternoon then laze for damn long til evening then clear my mail box and pack stuff jiu one day gone liao..

cant believe, last wk didnt met up wif bf for a wk cos he was real busy..hai i feel very kelian for him cos his work really kinda sucky..true indeed that his pay is gd, but on the other hand, work load alot sia..i scared in the long run, its really not good for his health especially now that his sleeping hours are alrdy screwed.. Sometimes pay might be a factor for taking up a job, but i feel health in the long run would be more impt..sometimes i also felt that becos of his work shift, we cant really do much at nite..i got so many things that i wanna do with him, but that short hours at nite cant really do much except going for dinner :( tat's kinda saddening, but what to do, that's his job, i cant blame him.


then weekend (sat) brought him to meet my dad at his workplace..ok finally decided to introduce him offically to my dad after 1 yr 3 months..this coming month shall be our 16 months ! but anyway dad didnt say anything so i guess he should be ok with him,..for mum side, i shall just heck her cos seriously whatever she wants is totally unreasonable and not valid at all..i believe if i am happy with my dear, tat should be more than enuff. ;) money wise can slowly earn..plus i am quite thrifty so saving wise shouldnt be much problem.

i pass all 4 rounds of interview for scoot !

last tues was public holiday. It was really shoik not having to work on that day..So took this day off to go prawning with dear. finding the place in pungol was real jialat cos pungol is a real ulu place. Hardly can even find any food to eat, all that we can see were just patches of grass and neighbourhood.. And worst still the place was real ulu til we took some time to get to the place. The sian thing is when we were happily prawning it rained really heavy til our whole body was wet cos the shelter system over there was really bad..But genearlly for first 1 hr i caught 4 prawns and the nxt 1 hour i caught none. Hai cos nxt one hour i wasnt as patient was before le. But i kind of like show off to dear cos he couldnt catch any prawns initally at the first hour and all the prawns were caught by me..But evenutally he caught up with my pace. Generally the prawns are really fresh and super tasty..Eating those live prawns really makes me feel that supermarket prawns arent that fresh and tasty lo..




then wed met up wif my uni clique for some gathering.. Indeed its quite some time since we last seen each other..After which they drove to upper thomson for salted cameral.. Ok la the ice cream and waffle generally not bad..But i reached home really late that day..around 12.30 pm lo.. ;(


Thur met up wif hm got free movie ;) Hehe generally not bad for the preview for Red dawn..but ending abit cui cos never end properly..give an open ended ans..



Then fri was raining real heavy so end up decided to go back home cos i have nothing to do anyway...everyday go out also no where go liao..

Sat went for scoot interview..was really happy that i passed all the 4 rounds of tests.. round 1 was some paper tests on English and Maths..walao the english paper wasnt that easy lo..they ask weird qns, more like some IQ and trick qns.and the maths paper was bloody difficult also cos those maths qns are like pri sch maths that needs one to draw model or watever shit one..i totally forgotton how to solve all these kind of pri sch maths qns.. and all of these papers need to be completed in 15 mins and 20 mins when the paper is damn bloody long and not enuff time at all..But was really glad that i passed round 1..one of the guy who sat beside me ask me if i really know how to do the maths qns and i told him ya some of them i really knew how to do..come on, i am a degree holder leh and specialized in engineering..if i cant even do the easy maths qns how can i call myself a degree holder..At that point of time, i then realised that education really does makes a difference between the selection of people.. Education really teaches us the skills how to survive and prepares us for interview.. Its not the content that matters..but its more of the skill that we gain..ok but not to show off or watever..Most of the people that came for interview was mostly a diploma holder and perhaps this kind of qns to that might not be familiar to them since it might not be their specialization.. Jc students perhaps stand more chance since we are pretty familiar to these kind of style of qns. Actually round 1 has many ppl kana kicked off just becos they couldnt do the papers..Kay that's a hard reality but its a fact..

round 2 was some game bonding exercise..seriously i suck at that cos i cant talk much when i duno how to solve the puzzle or game..we are surpossed to piece up 5 pictures using the triangles and sq sets..man its really not easy but i try to fake fake contribute some ideas...But most of it is crap...round 3 was presentation of a topic in front of your team.. Heng everyone got different topic so there is some fairness.. i really dun like to talk abt the same topic cos if the ppl infront alrdy said that then those ppl behind has nothing to say alrdy..so everyone has to pick a topic from an envelop to talk abt it and present it infront of the team.. Wa this is the time when i really felt that public speaking that we learnt in school really comes in handy..So the topic that i talked abt was shanghai since i very heng picked on the topic that i have something to talk abt.. I talked abt my internship in china and blah blah..And i was glad that round 3 i made it through also cos i sounded quite confident since i have things to say..

Round 4 was one to one interview and i could ans most of their ans immediately without hesistant..Lucky the interviewer was friendly so i talk to him like very causual and friendly.. So after the 5 hrs of interview process, we were to told that they need to made and discuss another round with the department on who is short listed...seriously i felt so proud of myself cos i made it through all the rounds..and its really not easy for the interview.. Initally my intention was to try luck only since i alrdy predicted i could barely pass the first round since i suck at team bonding and playing games but so heng this time they change the style and made the paper test to be their round 1 of elimation..so i heng lo..But up to this stage i duno if i wanna really be a cabin crew or nt.. if SIA were to offer me, i will defintely take but scoot, i needa tink abt it first.. The pay arent that attractive to me though the only thing that really attracts me was i can get to fly unlimited times on scoot with my family memebers..yes that is really a plus point..But come to think of it, this is kind of like a shift work..My sleeping hours will be screwed then my dark circles will be even darker plus if i were to fly very often i cant meet up with dear very often..In other words, we will spend less time with each other..True indeed that i like flying job, most of the reason is to escape from home and i wanna do a job that is less common from most path that most ppl will take..so ya lo, just wait for news for the nxt 2 weeks and i shall decide from there.. Honestly speaking, i was there to try luck but really didnt expect i pass everything !!!

~spending lost of money over last whole week ~

Last Monday had Carvoire buffet with dear.. had it becos there is OCBC card one for one card promo..and yes i kind of regretted eating this buffet cos one thing the buffet totally not nice cos variety too little and those meats arent nice at all...most of them are really tough..and guess what i totally got trick by the waitress cos she ask me if i wan still water..then i say ok..then when she served out a 1litre mineral water then i totally sian diao..tat's the time then i realised the still water need to pay money and its $8 for tt bloody still water..initally i didnt want to order drinks since its my style not to drink so much when i having a buffet since it will really make you full really fast.but thanks to the bf la, he wants to drink so i assume still water is ice water..stupid waitress con my money..i could have gotten ice water for free instead of paying the $8...totally zzz lo. But nvm i learn the hard way now..still water not equals to ice water..


wed met up with my uni clique friend for dinner..had gan guo since it was my favourite in chinatown..after which had dessert with her..and we went many rounds of food tasting and i was feeling very guilty cos recently i have been eating alot..

fri took leave i had to clear 3 days leave this yr..so just take lo..initally the plan was to eat dim sum buffet that's why i purposely took leave to have the weekday lunch dim sum..but ended up stayed at his home watch korean drama..totally zzz cos he wasting my leave. But nvm i have my way of eating the weekday dim sum again.. Ok la but at least i manage to eat dao his home cook lunch for me..tang hoon !! and recently its my favourite food. i have lots of cravings for tang yuan too, but outside one really chi bu shuang one cos like i say i used to eat over 13 balls of glutious rice balls..so 5 to me is nothing !! After which night time went to meet his sec sch friends for gathering..i cant believe just one night we can spend so much..perhaps over $100+ for some of them..dinner alone alrdy $41 for most of them..but me and bf share since i was really full..And the night activities was really a waste of money ;( can never forget "mink" at pan pacific hotel de club..its super atas and its more for the working society ppl , not for those xiao mei mei kind unlike zouk or butter factory..so ya they open 3 bottles of hard liquor and i barely drank a glass cos i felt tt the drink really taste horrible..bitter and smelly..so i only drank half a cup and went i got home felt the after effect of sleepiness..man i really sucks at drinking..tt time go phuket drink a few slips of heavy content beer jiu sleepy le..perhaps i needa train more when i am in korea.

and weekend to save money, i stayed at home cos last wk really spend alot money liao..feeling real guilty !

~crazy blogshop shopping over the weekend !~

 man i cant believe i bought 5 items all at one go from a blogshop warehouse sales..ok its really cheap but then one thing is i cant bring bac home, else my mum will surely scream at me cos i have been buying clothes non stop every since i started working..duno why nowadays the clothes i bought are getting cheaper and cheaper than last time the price i buy..now $5 warehouse sales can get liao..so of cos with tt $5 i can buy alot since its freaking cheap.and the bad thing is my monthly expenditure is increasing every month at the rate i spend ;(

and today my dear was really worried for me when i couldnt be contactable cos i was too engrosed in shopping alrdy until i totally forgotton abt my phone and replying msg-es...but partly becos my hp was placed at the counter there since we are not allowed to bring our bags in.. so ya hor..made him worry.. But xin dao these words really make me feel very touched cos i can feel that my dear cares for me right ? hehe ;)

sian weekend always pass so fast.. and tmr is working day again..seriously sian max !

~fruitfull weekend ~

last week was a long weekend plus counting in the MC i took today. Guess what i didnt expect i will get sore eyes !!! this is totally unexpected la ! yes i contracted the virus from my colleague ;( actually last wed i really felt the pain liao but i chose not to see the doc still i took i over worked strained my eyes..but it isnt the case...thur came to today and i totally cant read any CV. wanted to take half day leave to rest my eyes one, but i scared deduct pay since i am still not a confirm staff. so bo bian tahan lo. then since fri was a public holiday and my eyes was kinda pain even not looking at the comp, so i knew something was wrong.. i went to a few optical shops near my house to check my eyes if my eye power really increase but they said nothing wrong with my degree. its still the same. One of the optical shop ask me if my family has any sudden lost of sight..when i heard tat i was damn scared so i decided to see doctor on sat and request for MC.. man stupid la the person made me so scared..


weekend sat was really fruitful and enjoying.. Sat went to USS and see doc.. The queue was bloody long and worst of all i wore sandals with abit of heels so my legs were bloody damn painful..and the queue for each hunted hse was like 1 hr each and the big shows we queued for 2 hrs !!! this is super torturing especially when i am in heels ! zzz but generally the halloween was not bad but then like i say the queue-ing part was really very sian and since the queue was so damn long, ppl were alrdy scared at the front of the queue. So somehow there is no surprise for us alrdy since we alrdy know someone is hiding at one corner.. perhaps if there were less ppl, it will be more fun..


then sun woke up very early to go JB.. this time round we had not much stuff to do cos we didnt plan the outing... But i bought lots of food and eat alot of nice food..when i can eat nice food, i feel happy.somehow lately i am less cautious for my weight..

TODAY I AM ON MC !! yeah super shoik !! and apparently all my colleagues in my dept also on MC !! are they really sick or they gei siao sick one.i am really sick tt time but since i got 2 days MC just take. heck ! my supervisor is sick also. cant be so qiao..only left one colleague of mine in the dept who is not sick and came for work today !

~ i think i cant tahan reading CV anymore ! ~

Last week was filled with fulfiling activities. Last monday went to watch Richard Marxs concert. His voice was really awesome, not to mention when he sang the " Right here waiting", its totally mesmerized my heart especially when he played the piano. Man if i can play half as well as him, then it will be good.

Tues went to watch " Hit & run " this movie. Its a sucky movie !

sigh working is getting more and more bored for me. Everyday do the same old thing. Worst now colleague is resigning, which means more things for me to do. Last wed and thur was damn stress for me sia. I worked til 7pm then left for home.Eyes cant tahan reading so many CV in a single day. Somehow my eyes get real tired after a few hours, then how can i sustained for a day of having to keep looking at the comp for 8 hrs ! i damn scared that my eye degree power will increase lo cos i kept on straining my eyes reading CV.Now i smart liao. I enlarge all the front to super big ( like size 20), then my supervisor saw and ask me what am i doing. zzz then he laughed cos he understands how i am feeling ( the pain of reading so many CVs).


recently have been eating quite alot. Fri had steamboat with bf and 2 other friends. But somehow now i am not as concerned over my weight as before.Duno is it becos i am really light now.. But i am trying to slowly increase my eating diet. I haven been eating rice since for the past 1-2 years. So right now trying to slowly eat more to gain metalabolism. I dun wan nxt time my body and stomach suffer.

and u know last sat i did the most craziest thing ever..i cant believe i queue 4 hrs for a blog shop warehouse sales. and i did bought nothing cos i was late for 1/2 hr from their opening hours and the queue was really damn long. Me and my friend queue til the car park there. It really tat jialat. But since i came all the way from boon lay to sin ming, of cos cant waste my trip so bo bian decided not to give up. But i was damn disappointed when i went into the ware house cos all the clothes left not much and all the remaining ones are mostly ugly one ;(

~tw bridal photo package, are we really into marriage that fast??~

anw last weekend was real gd ! spend both days in JB eating and shopping. JPO was sucky. doubt i will ever want to go there again.I spend alot too somehow on food..duno why whenever i go JB, i am always very generous towards spending money on food..But one thing tat i felt wasting money was the foot massage.. No choice, i was dragged there by 3 of them. Honestly speaking, i still dun like it even after trying. Either the lady who did the massage for me not gd or massage is just not my liking. or perhaps i just dun like to pamper myself or i am just not to use spending money on massage.Generally i still hv negative opinons on massage !!!


Then last week happen pretty alot of things. We didnt expect tat we will place a $100 deposit to purchase a bridal photo taking in tw..Yeah somehow we are kind of forced to buy the package cos the person keep selling and we kept on insisting tat we do not wan to purchase it right now since we have no intention to marry tat fast yet. But eventually we gave in. ;( Initally they offer us $1988 but now decrease to $588 ! how can it be man..and everything remains the same including the package they gg to offer us, except tat right now i hv less one outfit to try...Man this is real damn cheap. I believe this package cant be found even in JB.plus this is photo taking in taiwan ! The scenary gonna be damn nice ! JB has nothing though its cheap.Lets just place this $100 desposit as an assurance to our ever lasting relationship ;) The most unforgettable part is the photographer kept on telling me tt i could use this package to take bridal photo as a preparation just in case nxt time i get married i needa take proper bridal shots..walao where got ppl take bridal photo for fun one. Its gonna be weird. ppl might tink u are offically married when u take wedding photos. although i did hv the thoughts to take wedding photos for the fun or it when i was in china, but tat was just say say only. Perhaps if you were to ask me if i wanna take for real, i perhaps will tink twice..cos my mum gonna kill me if she knows la cos chinese are super supertitious of tat !!

this weekend meet up with the JC peeps..somehow everyone is doing diff things now and its a gd thing catching up with everyone.

yeah this wk shall be a harvoc week with lots of events..and i cant wait to go for USS halloween this wed with dear ! tink i will scared til i gt jelly legs lo !

~weekly updates~

i couldnt rmb what i think over the weekends..i guess i was pretty bored on sun so i met up with dear for a late brunch followed by a concert at RWS..The brunch was gd but its so small..its really not filling one lo..its more for eat shuang one.. Then after tt went to chinatown to walk walk since i had nothing to do..then i was so heng since tat day was the last day of mooncake clearances sales, so i bought a box of mooncakes at $5 only and its from macau !! cool cos i nv tried non local mooncakes before. Then at nite went to rws for Russian red concert.. Didnt know she is tat popular til i was there to see the crowd..ok its really stunning cos this singer vocal is real gd..But one bad thing is there is no seats for us to sit down..totally zzz cos we have to stand all the way.. ;(

I cant really rmb what i have did over the past weekday except shopping.. I guess my weekdasy is pretty routine and boring max..i cant believe that i actually 6 peices of clothes in a month !!! and a heels too..man sales are real bad cos they cos me to spend money.. But overall its still cheap cos i get all for damn cheap but then still its wasting money.. My colleagues was saying tat i do have lots of clothes hor.. i wouldnt deny cos there is more inside my locked cupboard..if i were to take out, probably i can wear for another 1 month without repeating any set.. actually come to tink of it, now buy so much nxt time become auntie liao sure wont wear then it will be waste of money..but still i cant resist the temptation of buying when its on sales.. !!!


i am so going to look forward to this wkend !!! shall go spam and eat dim sum !! whoo !

i am so happy that i got back my hotmail acc after 4 appeal

You know what, i wanted to give up on my hotmail account liao..so decided to give it the last try. And i really didnt expect that i can get back my hotmail account after trying so hard for the past 3 times and the 4th time, i finally got it appeal successful.I was damn happy cos losing this hotmail account really has alot of shitty work to do lo..have to update all my bank contact details for the email part, the school alumini email and mse also.So many mafan work to be done..And all my deals email all gone..plus my flight jet mail also needa redo everything again, not to mention my msn also..so i was damn sad that time..So to get back to the hacker i send back the email that he set as scolding him all the vulgar i can think ok..this kind of ppl no need to be kind to them one..who ask them keep hacking people account and trying to pose as microsoft ppl and cause many innocent ppl to be harm..so i send out super bif fronts of vulgar and curse him with cancer since this was what the email that he sent out. I dun really care since i just wanted to get back to him nia for stealing my hotmail account. But anyway i am glad that after doing the microsoft survey and appealing so many times, they finally return my email to me. But these one wk plus de email cant be retrieve liao cos its auto forward to that bloody hacker email.


Then last fri my supervisor had a small accessment with me.. He asked me where do i see myself in the nxt few years.. Honestly speaking, i told him i duno is it a waste of my degree going into this industry.. As most people would want to try out somethink of their own field else it would be wasting their own degree. True indeed. And he says he were to convert me, he is fine with it, just that i needa work on my speed and find more candidates..And also i need to call more ppl..zzz and i need to know more stuff and fly solo and make decisions myself nxt time..ya lo, i also duno also cos i am always clueless what i wanted to do in the past. Now also the same. It didnt changed. So my question now is should i continue with this job since i am quite well paid or should i find another job? i cant believe that i am bringing back my work home today man.seriously, cos i have a few positions to work on liao and its piling up ;(


And last tues and wed went for free movies with dear. I think i am more keen in watching movies now..Perhaps dear really influence me to watch movie now. Since last time i dun have the feel to watch movies one..

~seriously upset over the lost of my hotmail acc~

this week was really upset over the lost of my hotmail account cos it was kana hack by an asshole or bastard..damn !!! tat asshole pose as someone from the hotmail team and the email looks so real la tat i believe its really them..initally i still hesistated a while if i wanna reply them and give them my acc and password cos they claim tat they have a mix of account and they need to update our particulars, else if we dun update them our particulars our account will be deleted permantely...so i thought tat was really real cos the email account holder looks real. Basket, now tat i lost my account i am super alert towards my password and security now..That bastard changed my security qn and even my alternative contact account, to that extend tat i am not able to get bac my account totally. FUCK man, this bloody fucker shall have a bad life for hacking ppl account and sending ridiculous email posing as me.. tat stupid ridiculous email say my bro kana some cancer or whatever shit for operation so needa money..one of my friend still thought its real and ask me abt it..and yes tat asshole drafted tat email til damn real but everything was fake !!! bloody ass man. and i hate those hotmail team too..i appeal so many times liao and they still reject me..what the hell, i am the real owner and they refuse to giv back the account to me and continue to let tat hacker anyhow send out ridiculous email under my name.super angry lo..hai i really hope by sending them appeal everyday they will send me the link to reset my account lo.cos i very desperate le leh.Send in so many times but its always a computer generated mail saying tat i am not successful for my appeal..hai.

then last wk i had my hair touch up..in fact it was a total make over but my highlight are totally gone !!! hai sian i wanted a bright backgound but ended up she dye the whole hair bright for me and claims tat the highlight would still be seen. but apparently the highlight is totally gone ;(

then last Thur celebrated our 13 months together at spore flyer. time flies so fast man..we are together for a yr liao..mum seems slightly positive towards him now..hopefully time will let her agreeable to us being offically together..Mum has many ridiculous reason of not liking him, like he is just a undergraduate just like me..totally dots cos she want someone who is higher educated than me so nxt time he can earn more money than me to support me..I have totally no objection of tat, why should she care so much man,.

last fri came back sch for sch concert.. I miss schooling time lo..seriously although studying is boring with all the exams and test, but somehow you can find true friends over there.working life cant really find man..and recently i have been doing stuff tat is totally non related to my job scope..wth, filing is totally not within my job scope..just becos i am new, i am ordered to do filing cos he say tat he dislike doing filing, so needa my help..and looks like once i help him, i have to continue helping him liao..my colleague said tat he is wasting my time..true indeed he is wasting my time cos by helping him doing all these shitty work, i cant find candidate for myself. So i wont earn any commission.  ;(
sigh can i not work ;(

sat pei mum to ICA to apply for spore citizhenship..man after 27 yrs she finally decided to apply cos over some household issue if my dad were to left the family..looking at the amt of education tat she has, how will the govt accept her man.plus she has never worked before.and worst til i didnt know i am her guarantor til i reach there..zzz cos i still tok it was dad who was gg to be her guanator..but turn out if he were to be, then her application confirm wont be approved one. since i am a graduate plus i am working now, chances are higher..but i told her to wait til bro bac then apply la cos she confirm has higher chances than me since he is a scholar, chances are defintely way higher than me.end up i talk so much, she still refuse to listen to me. ok watever la.if she is not successful she is just wasting her money.

lost update of what i have did

man so long never update my blog liao. cant really remember what i did. but i guess its mostly concerned abt work. You know i finally close a case and earn my first commission ( if the candidate is willing to accept the job offer la) since the client has decided to offer the position to the candidate. Its super happy cos at least some results from this boring job. at least it will further push and drive me to work harder to earn commission. Work is getting more cos i was assigned to sit beside supervisor cos we have changed our sitting arrangement..damn initally was so happy being casted aside in a corner but supervisor requested tat i sit beside him..sigh duno is it becos he knows i surf the net wanna monitor me or nt. But even if now tat i sit beside him, i still surf net when he is not around or he is out to buy coffee during the morning. Man cant possibly ask me keep starring at the comp do work stuff. it will be damn boring.

anw its been long since last shopping liao..totally lost trend in how bugis clothes and far east clothes look like..so over the weekends went town and bugis to kill time.its really not bad.so much sales but i stopped myself from buying..

hopefully upcoming week will be a fruitful one..man i am so bored of work liao.how how how?

~updates for now~

alrights, time to have a proper update on my past few weekends. ;) last last wk went to JB for a short get away ;) food there is super duper nice. I finally gotton to eat my super big pao..so happy and i ate super alot of egg tarts..They are cheap and its so awesomely good ! not to mention the night market that we went to, it was awesomely gd too ! in short food is totally gd and cheap ;) and then we came back spore on mon afternoon..somehow it was shoik tat we spend the weekend over there with dear.. ;)

last wkend (sat ) went for job hunting and MBS club ! and some photography workshop.. It was a busy weekend..since i won tickets to the MBS club, might well i dun waste the chance to enter the skypark for free. So actually my motive to go the club was just to see see cos i dun tink i will spend tat $38 entrance fee to enter tat club and in addition i get to view the skypark for free.so why not go alone even with no one pei..moreover i dun feel lik gg home early so just go alone lo..i am ok anw since i used to be quite independent in the past.

then last wkend sun went to expo sales with dear..end up he is the one who shopped for stuff not me .hehe ;) good man can save money. 

man duno why i feel so sian at work..totally no drive compared to the past when i was working.i dun like working in this coy. people here are complicated.After so many chats with my colleagues i realised tat i dun feel a sense of belonging in the company.everyday go work just do own things and say hi bye to colleague. After tat just go home. This isnt the life i expecting for. People in the office treat me like a temp cos i can feel it. Its either the way i talk to ppl or i give ppl the impression tat i am very slack. But i did my work leh.its just tat i dun have much order on hands to search for.So cant really blame me.. ;( and i tink some of my colleagues sitting near me knows tat i always on fb..lol she say me i also saw her using leh.walao ! i really dun like ;(

lost touch with my blog

lately was quite busy with stuff and going out..hardly got time to update my blog.many things happen for the past 2 wks. i am upset with my current job.  ;(  feels so dreadful dragging myself to work everyday.i shall update more when i have more time..pace of the job is slow but i dun see myself doing anything everyday. So what i have been sending many many emails searching for suitable candidates.some just nv get back to me..or some sent over to client but wasnt shortlisted..i feel so sian lo doing something tat has no results. ;(

~is it better to be love or would it better to love someone?~

Ytd night i was just being random suddenly talk to this guy friend of mine abt this cos abit sad over this..He told me i should i have chosen him in the past..lol but tat time i chose to go with my heart of cos since in the past r/s, i chose to be the person being liked instead of liking the party..So of cos if given a chance, if both parties like each other why not giv it a try ya..Not that i am regretting or whatever, but mum always tell me this : " being a girl, its always better to be love than to be love ppl.." sometimes i see some girls just put in way too much for the guy and i feel its really not worth esp when the guy arent gd to her at all..Not that i am saying he isnt gd or whatso ever, but perhaps i do have high expectation just like how he set the standard for me..No choice, my ex is 8 yrs older than me in the past. He alrdy set the bench mark.

yeah then last mon celebrated our first yr anniversary. ok la got touched dao he lighted candles on the grass patch cos its not easy esp with the strong wind..Aiya thanks to tat stupid wind else the effect would be nicer..

last thur met up wif anne too..man that day duno suay or what, i almost kana slap by a lunatic uncle cos we told him tat our table is occupied so he has to find another table to sit.Then he kind of like bu shuang with me then bang the table..walao this old uncle damn voilent sia..i scared man.

~a skating weekend~

fri met up with hm for a korean concert. The concert was cui cos perhaps its not really up to my standard. The gers are quite lian, guys also not handsome at all.Dance steps arent as exciting as what i see from tv..but never mind la, its a free tic anw. Then ytd went to ecp for roller blade.The first step out when i tried roller blading was real scary cos i might fall down anytime but somehow dear help me overcome my fear. Ok la, i am slowly getting the grip of blading, perhaps i need try out a few more times then i dun dare to play..After which, set down in the beach sun tann ;) This kind of slow pace life is just so shoik..If only every weekend is that nice, how gd would it be. Dinner was at some chi char resturant at upper east coast there. Bill is ex wor cos we eaten crab..Apparently it seems that once everyone started working, we became more generous towards how we spend. I agree to some extend too cos my spending expendure increase too !

tmr is mon again.sian it seems tat after i started working, everything became so rountine. ;( at least in sch we do have some acitivities unlike in work..work is just whole day work and nothing else.

my life totally sucks

These few days family is really in a turmoil.seriously very very jialat.i get very pissed when mum throw my stuff for no reason cos she say i anyhow put my stuff and i dun keeping my things..i seriously dun understand why a contact list she also throw..bloodly hell its my first 3 month contact list with all the email and hp no she threw away and this contact list was kept in my file initally and she says that i anyhow put..In the first place, i alrdy placed it nicely in my file, and she took it out to threw away in the recycle plastic bag so i took it bac and placed it on my table..so whose fault is that? i alrdy place it in my file but this stupid ass hole toook it out to throw it away.. FUCKER man how can i not be angry..

i am bloody piss liao when she threw away so many of my clothes when some of them i still want and i told her MANY MANY TIMES NOT TO TOUCH MY THINGS AGAIN AND AGAIN, but this person just dun seems to understand my words...so today i blew my top and i was really became a crazy women cos she is just way too much..i placed my stuff on my table and this bloody mum kept keeping it bac..so i got really pissed.cos i dun like to keep keeping things when i will use it often. and not that, i got bloody pissed when she threw my pizza away in the detergent when i was going to warm it for my lunch..initally ytd i ta bao bac some for her to try since i cant finish, but ytd nite she made it pissed so i rather dun let her eat and let it spoil..but since it haven spoil in the morning, i went to heat it up..but this bloody ass dumb my pizza in the detergent cos she says i am not allow to put my pizza on the table cos she says she alrdy clean the table..FUCK Man, i dun put on table, where should i put? on the floor?? come on, she is just to create trouble..so i damn bu shuang, i hit her bac, but she didnt hit bac cos she threw my pizza in the detergent.

of cos since i hit her she is not gg to let me off so easy..so she created more trouble. she is defintely not someone will giv in to me when i actually hit her..yes she say she gg to pay me bac 5 times more what i do to her today..come la, its not as if i am scared of her..pls la, whats the point of taking out dad's belt and come to hit me..i am not young anymore..i am no longer scared of these things..so we really fought physcially 2 times but she didnt win me..cos i am confirm stronger than her..I am alrdy very angry by tat time, losing all my mind so i could have really hit her bac real hard and kick her if not for my dad who stopped me..of cos she did hit me and scratched me, but dad was there to stop us from fighting and actually pull us apart..dad say if one day he were to pass away, the hse will defintely break apart and i wouldnt deny this too.i cant stand her..not just me, no one can stand her, even my bro...becos i was real angry i spoil the radio tat my dad use for praying..actually my intention wasnt to spoil my dad's stuff but becos she uses the radio for praying too, so i just slam it real hard on the floor then everything broke apart..after tat i felt really guilty for spoiling dad's radio but i wasnt targetting him..i wanna my bloody mum to know how it feels to lose her things..throwing my things away is equivlant to spoiling her stuff tat she uses everyday..she threw away my clothes, contact list and alot of my stuff but i always shout at her and she just go in and go out.so i just have to really vent my anger through actions then she will listen to what i scold.yes i am damn violent today but she really hit my limit liao.everyone has a limit and she has gone overboard my limit if not i wouldnt blow my top and wanna hit her today.

and i got really angry when she keep calling me non stop from 6pm after i finish work..i get really fann cos she just like to call for fun for no reason..i just hated this house so i wouldnt wan to come home early.i always treated home like my hotel.i am only home to sleep and the nxt day i am out of hse again..so dad said her today tat she is really intruding too much into my freedom..whatever i do after work she always like to control..come on, last time when i was studying, she wanna me home early to study, now tat i am working le, u also wan to intrude my life..I HAVE ENOUGH LIAO>>SERIOIUSLY ENOUGH>> i am not ur dog !!!!!!!!!!! even if a tame dog will get angry and bite her owner one day if the owner is really too overboard..she just hit my limit tat i wanna protect myself now.so i got really angry too tat i slam the hse phone on the floor real hard..this is to teach her a lesson stop calling me non stop unnessary, but apparently the house phone is still working after i slam it real hard for two times.i should just slam it spoil and let her waste money and buy a new phone again....i can receive one day over 20+ calls just from  her.bloody hell and its all nonsense call.i get really pissed when i see homecalls from home.. if she continue to create trouble again, i am gg to throw away all her phone book contact list..teach her a lesson for throwing my contact list..i should let her learn hard the consequences of throwing my things..let her experience the pain of losing her stuff..BLOODY hell.

i have been crying many days over quarrels..i am really very tired liao..my mind is really very drained whenever i come home..i dun feel lik talking to anyone.becos today i quarrel real loud tat i tink everyone in my estate hear our quarrels..but i dun care cos i really tahan very long liao..i tahan too long such tat i blow up my top all in a shot..my dad knew tat i am real angry liao so he asked my mum stop fighting wif me cos i dun slam things when i am angry and today i really tightened my fist liao and my dad saw it cos i really going to hit her real hard despite of any consequences..this time round, i slam all the things til i spoiled them..yes ppl who wont get angry when they actually get angry can be real frightening,..my mum just rarely see this side of me cos i rarely blew my blow.today shall let her see my frightening side.she also dare not say much and kept quiet after i slam and spoiled the things.whereas ppl like her who always get angry, to me, i am used to it.

who duno its wrong to hit parents, but she really go overboard liao.so she really deserve to be taught a lesson..i haven really lay a finger on her cos dad stopped me and protected her.if i really went crazy i could have really hit her real hard and i believe the after consequences will be real bad cos she is not gg to let me off tat easy..

NDP preview 2012

ytd went for NDP preview at marina float. somehow the feeling wasnt as excited as i was when i was pri 5. The feeling was very diff..fireworks arent as fascinating as i felt as it should be when i was pri sch.perhaps i am sian of fireworks liao since seen too much in china and i personally have played it before.But overall is still ok la.

looking forward to the public holiday this coming wed.Not sure how i will spend the day..feel lik doing nothing at all.suddenly i feel very dreadful after i started working..the drive that i used to work as a temp doesnt lies active in me anymore. Also, after i graduated from sch, i felt lonier..i felt that friends cant be with you everyday le unlike when you are studying..honestly i dont really have much close friends..perhaps when i was young, mum wont allow me to go out with friends for gatherings or whatever, cos she said going out only waste time, cos i could have spend the time on studies..thinking back now, what she did to me was real stupid. I have miss the bonding times with my sec sch..i only have one close friend when i was in sec sch, but nowadays rarely contact with her.perhaps half to once a yr i will randomly pop by her fb and talk to her.other wise, she is MIA most of the time..the other closer friend ever since we went diff Jcs, we practically dun contact anymore.. ;( ya lo abit sadding sometimes..thinking bac, what i have did in sec sch, i seriously dun remember anything significant i did except studying. Sigh, i never had a childhood since young.i never had a toy to play except the only mermaid that dad bought for me. I never like cartoon cos i wasnt allowed to watch tv when i am studying..only vacations i could only watch..now i have finally graduated, i never really watch TV much le.sigh.what do i like to do in life leh? i really duno man..its so hard to find something that i like to do..i only know i like to edit photos, i like to bake cookies and cakes..but all these baking she wouldnt allow me to even have an oven, then how would i be able to practise baking ? i cant be everything also duno too !

But one thing i know is i love my dear ;) (dear dear dont smile hor when you read this ) Although he can be quite a nag at times, and uncle looking but i still love him cos i am blind alrdy. HAHA

My first perm job

its been almost a wk that i started out working as a recruitment consultant.actually my pay for this job is indeed high but then like i say its damn hard finding suitable overbroad candidates for the oil and gas industry..most of them either wants too high pay or the client side budget is too low.man is so hard to make a comprimise.ya lo then i very stress when supervisor keep asking me before lunch break and after work if i found any suitable CVs to send to him or nt.and my reply is always NO..This job seriously you can be working the entire day on it but there might be a chance there you couldnt find any suitable candidates. This is really purely alot of luck. Thats why i dont really lik cos it seems to ppl tat you are doing your job at all cos you found nothing. I dun lik this feeling.. ;( hai but i cant do anything. doubt i will stay in this line for long. or perhaps not quitting at this moment since economy now arent really easy to find a job now.perhaps i should earn ard 10k plus then quit.then by then i will be rich enuff to find another job.

colleagues wise are pretty ok actually.just tat i didnt interact much with them cos i couldnt find any topic to talk with them.but i was quite sad when there isnt much youngsters ard to talk to me. In fact i can be counted and the youngest in the company liao.hai so sian lo cos i feel so lonely at work.It like dragging myself to work everyday and hope time will past damn fast.

ytd had a bad quarrel with mum again.as usual.She is always talking abt money again.damn keep saying i work alrdy nv see me giv money or whatever shit de.and more more agruments.say liao also sian..alrights tonite is ndp preview ! yeah i am finally gg to watch the live show and apparently it seems that its gg to rain soon :(

~i have finally convocate ~

last mon was busying taking my individual photoshoot in a studio..ppl like me of cos will find it mafan cos i can just use my camera and take will do...but mum insist that i have to go studio take cos its once in a life time.dots..ok fine i shall just go take then..i just find it a hassle cos needa make up and spend hours dressing up..and i dun understand why needa take so many photos cos take here and there also look the same with that gown..after which, went for a dinner wif dear ODAC friends.and the day ended at the dinner..

tues did nothing but wed was a shag day for me cos i decided to do a day job at NTU ( be a surveyor ). Of cos naturally i received many rejections so at the inital stage i got very sian when every one reject doing for me..but after a while i am used to it..i learnt to be thick skin and try to approach ppl..seriously dun understand why these ppl dun wan help me when they hv nothing to do and just purely standing down there..if my hands were free from bags and gown, i would defintely help but if those ppl were to approach me wif lots of stuff on my hands, defintely i wont do la cos i find it very mafan..but nvm at least tat day its was with fruitful with all my contacts ;) haha..

then thur went to JB with dear..FINALLY lo, waited so long just to go jb with dear..but he damn idoit forgot to bring his passport..ALL OF THINGS HE FORGOTTEN HIS PASSPORT ! yes initally i was damn sad cos i wanted to go JB badly with him liao then becos he no passport wif him so cant go.and of cos ppl like me confirm wont go bac home since i alrdy reach the SG custom and all i needa is just cross a crossway jiu reach JB so obviously i am not gg bac with dear..so i just say i will just travel JB alone.anw citysq nearby i still recognise the way..but out of tat area i dun really know the way alrdy..have to based on memory to travel..but i am a lu chi so i might get lost anytime cos in malaysia all the road names sounds the same to me.duno why..its the same as when i was travelling in china.i just have very bad memories for similar road names..i always tink that they are the same..unlike sydney the road names are very distinct and diff so easier to travel..malaysia road names all looks and sounds the same..i cant rmb any single ones.but dear felt guilty and worried for me so went bac home to take his passport and came bac to look for me at JB..ok la got happy dao cos actually i was hesistanting to take a bus out of citysq area cos i wasnt sure if i know where to alight to get to the place that i want to get to.so i just have to make a bet to try my luck.but since he wanna come bac JB of cos i felt happier cos with him i wont be scared to get lost. the day ended with me happily shopping with lots of food back..duno why i feel happy when i buy bac lots of food though most of the times its my mum who is eating..

Fri was our convo-as special remembrance..this time i try to tone down on my eye make up cos dear say my eyelash too dramatic on last mon photoshoot so this time round i use a more natural one.actually tat day i dun feel much feelings leh..its just like going around taking photos with friends, or rather more like my clique ppl..i didnt really go around finding my course mates to take photo cos i was carrying lots of things and finding my parents..mum didnt have hp so its hard finding her ;( but she was very happy that day apparently..i guess most parents will feel very happy that daughter and son have graduated finally..for dad i guess he has put down his burden liao..sometimes i felt bad not carrying on to teach piano cos his wish is that i will continue to teach piano..but i haven touch piano for long.if lower grade i still can teach la.but higher grade i totally cant make it.ya lo perhaps i should find new students to teach..i guess mum still find worth it not flying bac to medan for the funeral.actually i really felt tat this convo has nothing much.she should just have flew bac home cos my aunt was real gd to her whenever we have problems.aiya duno how she tink one.she finds tat see-ing me going up the stage was more worth it than flying back for the funeral.

and thank you dear dear for the graduation bear bear..somehow i find it nice though i am not a bear bear person cos u see i am no longer young anymore..i dun have liking for bears anymore unlike when i am young. Thankfully mum was ok with him that day..heng she didnt confront him,but i tink she wouldnt do such things although she always say tat.but a pity dad didnt saw him tat day.really wanted to intro him offically but he went to take plastic bag for me to put the bear bear cos i was wearing heels so dun feel lik walking ard..ohhh and i met up wif ex too after my ceremony.he came up level 3 for the buffet..had a chat wif him for ard 20 mins ? but i guess over these yrs his thinking have changed..its a nice catching up with him too anw  ;)

                                                yeah we graduated !!!

~one more wk i will be starting perm job

man its countdown to one wk more to the start of my perm job.hai totally has no drive to drag myself to work cos i dun feel lik facing my head leader tat i will be reporting to.he look so stuck up and arrogant just by the way he talk to me that time ;( starting work will also means you will have less time to enjoy and i cant get the luxury to sleep til very late anymore.i felt tat i have not enjoyed really enuff.time past real fast when you are enjoying life.sigh..this coming fri will be my convo..i dun feel tat happiness of graduating at all..duno why..i always told myself tat i cant be studying forever..its finally over !

and recently i keep having bad mood..but what puzzled me was after i start eating my anger is gone ! weird man..my mind kept feeling kinda stress lately too,but i myself what i am stress too...

bad mood today

man duno why today really bad mood...wake up morning jiu kana scolded non stop and i was bloodly pissed when early in the morning tat mum talk so loudly to tat extend tat she wakes me up..its not lik today only..its like everyday ;( bloody hell wanna have some gd sleep also canot...so many things to do also, yet everyday have to go out meet friends for gathering..i have yet to settle finding my studio for photoshoot for my convo..really dun feel lik taking but mum keep insisting and everyday fann me...SO FANN !!!!!!!!!!! last resort go jb take photoshoot liao..dun feel lik takin in sg cos its so ex although its not my money..but still she say she is going to fork out money for me to take, this money belongs to my dad anw..so what if i take the photo..she will just be hanging it on the wall..as if someone will come my hse like tat..for decades alrdy, no one ever come my hse for visiting..i seriously dun see the point of wasting money taking these photo..

so many meet up after coming bac spore

continue on my sydney trip , i tink i am damn zai by wearing 4 jackets and 2 pants on me cos i needa save weight and plus those those jacket occupy really alot of spaces of my luagge so i decided to wear everything on me..of cos i look lik some auntie fatso wearing all these, but i shall heck alrdy cos i dun hv a choice since i wanna help my bro bring bac all his notes, clothes and other stuff.so tat's the other way out. of cos when i reach the sydney custom, they gave me alot of problem..they wanted to weigh my bag pack when i dun see them weighing other ppl bag pack, so of cos i was pissed cos my bag pack is considered normal bag just tat its bulging out cos i stuff alot of stuff in there.so they didnt want to let me pass unless i threw some of my stuff away or either i pay for my overweight luagge..of cos ppl lik me wont pay so i would rather throw away my bro notes since he as agreed to let me do so..but luckly i met a kind soul counter guy and he manages to let me pass since he didnt weigh my baggage..phew !

the following day when i came bac met up with dear for a movie since we one month nv see each other.then fri met up with the uni clique for a dinner and subsequently more gatherings..but somehow its gd la,i guess once i start work might not have time for meet up alrdy.

man i still have ard 1.5wks more to start of work ! duno why i feel really scared cos i somehow i duno really like the guy whom i will be reporting to..he looks kinda stuck up.

post sydney

well, i am bac to spore for almost 6 days alrdy. Honestly speaking, i do miss the life in sydney there after getting bac to spore.i miss the days hanging out in the supermarket to see what meat there is on offer so that i can buy to try..i miss shopping for chips and grocery cos sydney has nothing for me to do at nite so shopping in supermarket will be my best friend. After that day when bro has ended his final exams and came bac from melbourne, we went out and explore most of the signifiance parts of sydney. We travelled to blue mountains, went a few neighbourhood places to shop for food and eat cheap chinese food. But in short, sydney is kinda a boring and dead place even in the city...Its not as lively as it is in spore. In sydney, i witness the importance of money..tat's something tat is sad to say..i realised tat if no money in sydney, u are sure gonna lead a hard life..one real example is my bro..he is never out of loan despite loaning him so much money alrdy..his car is a real burden..we paid for his fines and insurances but its still not enuff ;( there are still more to go..man this car is really taxing and squeezing our money real hard..but on one hand, its hard to survive in sydney without ur own transport..man, no wonder my bro feels so stress everytime cos i also experienced the same thing over there, i do feel the same stress he is experiencing..but of cos now tat i am bac in spore i no longer feel the stress anymore,but i can understand the hard life he is going through  now..at times suituation can be tat bad til he has to go ard loaning money from his friends..i guess for me, if i were him, it were defintely hard for me to open my mouth and loan money from my friends,.but i guess if there is no way out, i have to lower my pride and borrow from friends...well, i travelled for the last few days with his room mate brian..i saw how things actually work between him and his room mate..sometimes we just gonna close one eye and think abt how his room mate help my bro in times when he has finanical trouble..so shall not be so gei gao with him for eating our stuff without permission..cos bro is kinda pissed with him using his stuff without permission cos all the sauces and food tat he bought arent cheap and everyone is using his when he has no $ no buy those grocery liao..k i understand how my bro think cos when u are poor, everything counts, not trying to say tat he is gei gao.but serioiusly when u are poor, even $0.10 matters to u cos its still money !!

actually on the day i left sydney i was kinda sad..duno why cos somehow i bu se leave my bro in church when he has so many fianical prob..actually i find him quite pitifully cos right here he cant eat good food since he has limited cash..somehow that 2 wks has bond us slightly closer though we do quarrel with each other during this 2 wks cos he quite irritating too.but nevertheless he is still ok generally..we talked abt dear and this stupid guy critize tat dear is ugly !! and he claims tat he is better looking..alrights my bro has an adv over other ppl in terms of height.but complexion wise, his one totally sucks !

alrights shall continue updating again some other time !

i shall update my blog soon ! got lotsa to say

i will be right back soon !

saying hello from sydney !

i have been here for 1.5 wks in sydney..honestly speaking, sydney isnt as fanastic as what i thought..food here is damn ex.apart from that, shopping isnt that great either..everything is so ex..even sales items are either to big for me or its just too long for me...yea so i guess my entire luagge wiill be filled with food after this 2 wks journey..for the last 1 wk, haven been going to the city cos the farms are really far from the city..probably takes ard 5 hrs to travel to and fro bac home..so its really kinda tiring..cos in between there is a lot of time wasted on waiting for bus and train..imagine waiting for half an hr just for a bus or train..this really sucks..sg transport is nv like tat..which explains why i took 2.5 hrs each to travel to each place..ya lo so this trip isnt as fruitful as what i thought..and transport wise is real ex..one trip for a bus trip is ($4.50 aud) which equates to $5.76 just for a single ride trip..this is bloody damn ex..sg one bus ride ard $1.70 the most ex..so now u know why sometimes i rather stay at home rather than go out..so last few days i took of a way to cut down my travelling expenses..so i decided to buy the day concession and i " cheated" to be their student there, so its half price..but if they were to conduct checks, i will surely be dead cos bro got fine $200 aud for that..tat's why he didnt dare to take the risk again.but i heck it, since i am not staying here for long.so shall just pretend and say i duno..this is what i usually bluff to the bus driver too.when they requested for my new south wales student pass, i just literally flash my sg student pass..some just let me pass after seeing the word "student" on the bus pass..while i suay, one of them didnt allow me to pass so i have to pay the full price of $4.50 aud, else, i would be just paying $2.20..

dad haven been travelling to city either..i only brought him out for a day to sydney chinatown.its indeed the cheapest shopping district there..i doubt the rest dad will be keen to explore either.the most regretting part is i didnt have the time to bring dad to see the opera hse..cos he kept telling me he dun feel like travelling so far..so i guess its his choice not to travel then..so i took the chance to travel myself to the opera hse after he left..i did pop by the station awhile to take picts..but haven really explore the place fully.but i am left with last 3 days..hopefully i can do something fruitful this 3 days..and finally bro is ending his exams today..he only left 3 days to bring me ard..but one thing now is he haven pay $300+ aud for the car insurance..so he cant drive out..if he were to drive out illegally and were to get caught..then tat's it. ! so i duno if he wanna take the risk or nt..

but honestly, life in sydney is just real slow..abit cant adapt..5pm in sydney is total darkness alrdy ( which is singapore 3pm)..i guess its probably winter now, tat's why their night time is so early..and so far everyday i have been eating at home and cooking most of the days for them..last wk was cooking for dad...this wk i cook for bro cos he having exams..see him quite poor thing if just eat bread for dinner..so i decided to cook for him..ya lo seems lik i really cook alot for the last 1.5 wks..and i ate lots of sydney food too.( actually i tried alot of sauages) cos singapore is real ex.so just try it here,..but practically all of them taste the same..nothing much special..

alrights tonite i shall eat at sydney fish market with my bro roomie.hopefully it wont be too ex..but defintely this shall be my last few time eating good food outside..and yes i must say sydney seafood is kinda fresh..

3 more days to enjoy in sydney and i am back to see dear ! 1 month never see my dearest alrdy. ;(

my last entry before i fly to sydney !

man i cant believe i am flying tmr midnite to sydney.and yes its 2 wks.its freaking long.i really duno what to do there either.i am nv tat serious in researching stuff cos this time round i am all alone to explore sydney myself and at the same time i am also lik a tour guide, bringing my dad all ard.so i cant possibly plan all shopping.else he sure will be bored.so wk 1 will tentatively all the famous places and i tink most of the time i will spend in the farms area since i dun really have transportation to get out of tat area. ;( my bro still say : u can use my car when i am off for melbourne.." man, i dun even know how to drive a car, how to use the car..i guess for tat 3 days i shall just roam around tat area since nothing to do.or worst case juz sleep at home lo.but its gonna be boring.no laptop for me either cos he will bring his laptop over with him ;( hai hopefully i will enjoy this entire trip..i will be bac 10 july 7pm again !

hmm why am i still waiting for his reply??

i suddenly feel so relaxed now that i no need work le..all i have to do now is to wait for 25 june midnite to come and i will fly off to sydney..yes i am travelling again despite this time round i am kinda broke but this time round its gonna be a challenge travelling ard sydney for me cos first 1 wk will be independant travelling without anyone help's..first 3 days of our arrival, bro still having exams, so i shall not disturb him.after which he is gg off to melbourne but i shall stay in sydney to save tat 3 days trip to melbroune.and 3rd and 4th july i will be all left alone..dad will fly off bac to SG while bro still remains in melbourne..man, somehow i feel abit scared staying in farms, cos travelling wise can be quite mafan.and i dun like the feeling of getting lost and no one can help me.but i shall bring my guangzhou spirit with me through this sydney trip and believe tat i sure can survive this trip all by myself..

this wk have been busy meeting up wif friends before i fly off.after 10 july when i reached SG i shall nuah all the way before my perm job starts.man, cant believe time flies man.i haven really rested enough and catch up with all my drama cos earlier on i was busy working part time jobs to earn some income for my trip, so haven really rested much.

anw i duno why i kept on waiting for his reply..i am just curious have he saw what i replied? perhaps i shouldnt be so open and tell him what i felt in the past, like setting him as benchmark... hmmm or he saw the msg liao but chose not to reply? hmm but i dun understand leh.since u got the courage to msg me u should have the courage to reply bac what..tat's one thing tat i dun understand.perhaps all along i dun really understand u since in the past its u who have a better understanding of me rather than me..hai nvm ~ i shall see u again at convo !

~i thought alot abt my future~

ytd i was busy gg out meeting my coursemate for financial planning cos bf kind of wants me to know more abt financial planning and plan for my future...true indeed tat i dun giv a damn abt fiancial planning cos parents lost alot of money when i was young in financial planning which is meant for my uni education one.so naturally,seeing how much money they lost, i wouldnt want to invest in financial planning too. and moreover i have been brainwash since young not to take up financial planning, so naturally whenever any financial advisor call me, i will naturally reject their call and wont giv them a chance to promote the plans that they selling.

so this time round, i was nice cos this finanical planner was my friend so i decided to giv him a chance to tell me what's the plan he is selling.actually true indeed, the plan he was selling seems ok, but i am still abit worried abt not being able to pay for long term duration and i will lose money evenutally if i cant afford it in a long.after the discusion, i would say tat fianancial planning is abt taking risk and investing in something that you cant predict if it would happen.after giving a thought, i feel perhaps i should really plan for my future.this time round i was lucky tat i have bursary to help me pay off my sch loan, else perhaps i have to work damn hard for another 2-3 yrs to pay off everything.but i believe i am not tat lucky everytime.

and ytd ex send me a long msg to me regarding my worries for sch loan.in the msg he mentioned: "i'm glad you have found yourself someone nice. really happy for you. remember, there's bound to be unhappy times, but give in a lil, don't expect perfection and life can be a lot better together. if you insist on your ways always, life is tough. besides it's too short to be living miserably. if this one doesn't work out, don't force things to happen.don't marry a person because of what has happened in the past, but what you can do together for the future."

i totally agree with him cos i will only marry if i tink i am certain if he is the one, and not marrying off for the sake of the age..actually i felt somewhat happy cos i actually receive my blessing from my ex..the feeling to receive blessing from ur ex is really undescribable cos many many yrs i really hope we can be friends again.but many yrs after we broke up we never contacted each other again til last yr we started talking again..well, i guess i still didnt lose a friend evenutally. ;)

i still left a wk more to sydney.man, i haven plan anything.cos i am very busy with lots of stuff and i cant wait to get out of this hse.this bloody mum everyday keep finding fault wif me..sigh how long more i still needa stay in this hse. ;(

23k of study loan, u really suck me real hard

i have offically paid off every cent of my sch loan, this is something gd to be happy abt.but right now i am really poor le cos initally i am still considered still relatively "rich" in my 2 bank account, but within 2 days i really paid off everything..in fact i was quite sad cos its my savings since young and everything is gone within 2 days...plus i loan out almost 5.2k to my bro, which makes my bank account even less $$$.. ;( i am kind of cant accept 23k of money gone within 2 days !!!!! my heart totally feels very painful... haiz looks like i cant travel anymore til i start work or else i wanna travel to nearby countries i guess i needa work to earn some $$$ to travel.sigh i never seen so little in my bank account before man..let's beside the story of me being young when my money in the bank is very little..but as i got older i started to save alot cos i alrdy expect the fact tat my parents wont pay a single cent for my uni education.mum has the money i guess but she defintely wont loan out a single cent to me although she can be quite rich.dad has totally no $$ to help me cos he alrdy cant help himself alrdy.bro also another useless chap..all he knows is just to borrow $$ from me.

dear has gone for a few days.heng i dun feel that bored cos i am busy occupying myself finding accomodation to stay in sydney but apparently one day stay in hostel can cost up to $100+ ..man this is totally not reasonable..hostel stay ard cost $100+ let alone staying in hotel.so now i am kind of damn stress cos money really a big problem.dad has to sell off all his stocks although he really lost alot of money in tat.i kept on telling dad not to sell off but he just refuse to listen to me ;( sigh.cos i belive this trip to sydney we are both to help bro to pay off his debt tat he owe his friend.this time round i can really tell him : " i have really no money anymore, ur sister is really poor now.i just paid of 23k of sch loan within 2 days." ;(

alrights hopefully i will be less sad after today cos i really never seen so little $$ in my bank before ;(

life is short like i always say so...

last tues went to USS..i dun really like all the roller coaster rides cos i am scared and the worst part is USS rides are mostly roller coaster rides..tat's why i dun really enjoyed the activities over there, apart from the water activities..though i dun really like the feeling of getting wet and feeling sticky ,but bf likes it so no choice have to play..else if i have a chance i will choose to avoid it or play it as the last activity for the day. the activities in USS just reminded me of the activities in genting.but genting one is still defintely better than USS one.

and last wed dear's grandma passed away..at that point i duno what to do to comfort him cos no matter what i say he will still feel sad cos afterall its someone who is close to him that actually left him..so i guess i can only lend him my shoulder..i still can rmb my grandma passed away when i was in pri 4 and when i heard from my parents that she actually passed away, i cried secretly when my parents rushed out of home to the hospital.... many at times i always say : cherish the ppl ard you before they left u..but it never came true for me..just duno why..perhaps i always take my mum and dad for granted..everyday my life is just very rountine.mum everyday will scold and find fault wif me regardless of anything..so ppl like me who cant tahan will try to leave the hse early to avoid seeing her and getting a quarrel wif her..in time to come, it has become a viscous cycle over the yrs and i believe nothing will change in future too cos i hate this family.my dad is alright..just that he is very hard to talk to sometimes..his olden days thinking i cant tahan too.both the generation for both of them are just too big for me to communicate well with them..tat's why i never tell anything to them..and i never bothered to explain to them abt my bf too..cos anw whatever i say mum will say i am a cheap and slutty girl.so i shall save the explanation.

alrights so for the past 1 wk i was actually working as a flyer distributor..the time past super duper slow man..but what to do, i just needa earn some $$ for the sydney trip..and the worst part is my trip is 2 wks from now and i have yet manage to earn enough money for the trip..

and dear just flew off to tw ytd.we wont be seeing each other for a month.hopefully we will miss each other regardless of where we are.he will be away for 2 wks, and i will be away 2 wks too.by then once i come bac, its time to prepare for my convo..the day whereby i offically graduate.man, time fly real fast.nevertheless this 4 yrs of uni education was worthwhile.i really enjoyed my internship in china.really didnt regret gg there despite of having no one gg with me..but i was really lucky to gain a wonderful nice bf in return.. ;)

tmr will be our 10 mths anniversary..time flies man..in 2 months time we will be 1 yr ! ;) whee !! hopefully we will stay together forever cos if we break his mum will be malu as she has introduced me to all his relatives during the funeral when i came down that nite.