wed talked to mdm ho in the canteen cos saw her mah,so decided to say a "hi" to her.i also feels tat staying bac isnt a benifical thing cos afterall the syallbus change alot..ya, true to sae tat..but i cant reali sae tat i didnt learn anything..i did learn something tat i didnt understand in the past..think i learn the most for phy,followed by chem and maths..for gp wise,i think i didnt reali learn anything..then she sae :" wa u dye your hair ah?dun let mr ganesh catch u.."haha.actually its damn obvious tat i dyed my hair,but so far no teacher reali sae me..so i reali had a hard time tying my coloured hair cos i wanted to make my coloured hair less ovbious..she also said tat i have gain weight..oh man,gers hate to hear this and i guess i have reali not exercised for long since i started sch cos i always pon pe rite from the time i enter sch..i think my pe dun even know tat i exist cos there is no name of mine in the attendance sheet..think its time i need to start running..yesterday also decided to stay bac sch to study cos i know tat if i dun do so, i confirm wont study when i reach home.moreover i got a chem test tml,and i know nuts abt it..so duno how also lah..think i will fail man..however,i ended up like sleeping in the library for an hour,after which saw liting then talk to her for like half an hour..so i was left with half an hour to study before the library closes...duno why yesterday so sleepy lah,slept during the gp lesson but luckily the teacher didnt realised tat..hai~~duno why i always tend to switch off during gp period..tat's reali bad..
lately so many job's agency called me up to ask me if i wan to work..suddenly i felt so tempted to work cos i relai feel veri sian studying in sch and moreover most of the time i stay in sch to rot..i think most of the uni are calling ppl for interview now and stuff like tat..i reali hope i will be called up so i always look into my hp veri frequently just in case they call me..
i am reali wondering tat is it tat once u are a failure,u are always labelled a failure no matter wat u do???and it reali seems to me like tat..cos my uncle looks down on me when my dad told him tat i am going bac to sch..he asked my dad to let me work and stop studying cos he said tat anyway i will be married..why study so hard when u are marrying off eventually..i dad was furious when he heard tat cos he feels tat no matter wat,he wans me to finish my univeristy education no matter no much will it cost for the fees..dad was always veri encouraging to me despite the fact tat i did disappoint him many times in the studies and music aspect..sometimes i reali feel tat he is my source of encouragement cos he never give up on me no matter no bad i did..he always give me the encouragement,which i am reali touched by it..at times i was so touched by it tat i started crying...i know tat my dad is pretty vexed over my uni application results and he is reali slimming quite a lot lately..i know tat he is planning how should i continue on with my next stage of life cos i am just stucked no where..sigh..i am equally vexed with my dad cos i am worried abt the application results..wat if i cant go in then wat should i do next??its seems reali hard to decide..i dun wan to make a decision and regret it for life...nothing can depicts how i feel now unless ppl have gone through it..i asked myself questions like,if i am reali given art and social sci,do i reali wan to study??i reali duno cos i feel its pointless studying tat when i have taken sci sujects since i was young,if i wanted to take arts,i might well stay in jj cos i was given a place in the art stream at tat point of time..hai~~damn vexed man..actually i reali hope i can get out of sch as soon as possisble cos i am reali sick of staying there liao..3 yrs is enough le..i dun wan to avoide the teachers liao cos i reali feel a hard time doing tat..i always avoid my econs teacher ever since i stepped into sch cos i reali dun like her when u commented on me when i was in j1..after tat time onwards, i dun like her..
my mum have an argument with my friend's mum..i think my mum is reali CMI given her character..think she like tat forever cant find a friend man..i am her daughter and i dun even side with her..so it just shows how bad she is..
my special day is upcoming,but i dun feel happy at all even though i am goin to be 20..duno why i no mood when it comes to such a happy occasion..hai~~wat i wan for this yr??i think everyone will know ba..i guess tat will be the greatest present liao..
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