yesterdaywas kinda bored,regardless of lesson or my day..everything was just veri stale, just like a piece of white bread..then after sch since it was still early,so i decided to take a walk in northpt since afterall its been a long time since i went there..then met up wit zr,actually i didnt saw him,but ended up he was the one who called for me..he talked alot on his stand on whether should i continue to stay in sch..he was persuading me until he no more saliva..haha..he is always so pessimistic,but i am not..he told me the reason as to why i didnt well for A levels..reason was becos i was too distracted..i spend most of my time getting distracted rather spending all my time on my studies..actually last time ms lim did told me before tat i should always stay focused,but i didnt bear it in mind..i listen already then forget cos i dun see the significant of bearing it in mind..now i truely understand wat she means after zr told me abt my problems and i will bear in mind this time and try to change..actually he is right to say tat i am always veri distracted cos i am always thinking of lots of things in my mind,he can even see through tat when i am walking,i am even thinking of stuff in my brain.duno why i always like to think alot of things,so it will be hard for me not to think of anything..sec reason was i too kpo abt other ppl's business liao..i cant even take care of myself,why still bother abt other ppl's business..so i shall in future,think nothing else except getting gd grades regardless of wether i am in uni or jc for now..i cant be distracted anymore !!! seriously there is still lots of psycology problems tat i need to overcome like my mentality tat 4 yrs in jc is reali a shamful thing and the hiding of my face whenever i see any teachers tat i knew,except a few tat i am closer to them..i still cant overcome the fact tat i am studying wit classmates tat are 2 yrs younger than me,cos i will find myself veri stupid..
my jc life has indeed give me lots of thinking space,as in i reali started to think abt how should i proceed in my next stage of life..though my jc mainly left bad memories for me,but somehow i did learn the meaning of stading up again from failure..though many at times i reali find myself a failure cos i cant succeed in watever i do,but it reali make me realised tat we shouldnt take things for granted and regret when its too late..for now,i guess i shall cast aside my troubles abt the problems and concentrate on my studies and continue to decide when the application results are out in early may..maybe tat time i shall see wat i should continue to do..for now,i know tat regardless of how much i think abt the problem,it wont help in anyway,so might well spend more time on other things..for this past 2 weeks in sch,i have indeed wasted lots of time thinking of tat problem,hopefully the days ahead will be a better one..and hopefully god will blessed me to go into uni..if i am reali desperate,maybe i will choose any course tat they are willing to take me..but i believe tat i will have a hard time studying..=(
my mum's friend told me tat i am going to have a hard time studying business if i were to take tat in private uni,but she didnt know i got take econs before..so my mum was kinda offended cos she feel tat she look down on me..so she sae tat i did take econs before and she was veri shocked.actually i knew before i am not those business type of person liao,so i am confirm not going into business line..thinking bac of my econs marks when i was in j1,its damn pathetic la..haha,i can still laugh at my marks cos its damn lousy..anyway todae have a cake to eat..so siong man..
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