Tuesday, April 10, 2007

~still cant convinced myself ~

yesterday finished sch damn early lah,12.30pm ended liao but i can onli leave sch at 1.30pm..my poor classmates ending lessons at 5,but i no need to go wat cos those lessons are none of my business..anyway since it was pretty early,so i decided to go shopping awhile cos i didnt want to go home tat early..so i went to JE entertainment centre and IMM there to walk walk..i was approached by those guys' selling tickets,still thought i will be spared by them cos i was wearing unifrom wat...i was veri shocked when the guy ask me if i can speak chinese or not..haha,thought alot of ppl sae i look cheena, of cos i know how to speak chinese la,if not tamil meh? anyway i reali hate it when ppl keep pestering u to buy when u dun wish to and they try all means to make u happy by calling u mei nu,or chio bu in other words..wa lao,such a lousy tatic lah,pls lah,those kinds of things dun work on me,instead it will make me more unwilling to buy from u..luckily those promoters from the banks didnt approach me cos i am wearing unifrom,else,previoiusly when i was working,all came appraoching me to tell me abt saving in their banks..anyway i am not interested la,i can save all i wan in my POSB bank..
anyway yesterday i received a msg from a particular friend of mine..though it was not those sweet messages,but somehow after seeing tat msg,it did made me smile just for tat particular moment cos i was reali touched by wat was written in the msg..somehow it did brighten up my day after seeing tat msg..i felt tat the msg was just sincere and encouraging,to the extent tat it makes me smile..anyway reali thanks for your concern =)..i will survive and fight the battle bravely de cos life is short ! yesterday i kept thinking abt the problem when i was walking in IMM,duno why..i did told myself tat i shouldnt think so much liao,but somehow i still cant convinced myself not to think abt it..i still cant get over the psychological part and proceed on..somehow coming to sch makes me feel reali upset,not like the past when i have friends around with me..my classmates are taking different combi from me,so it is hard for me to interact with them and moreover we hardly talk..this week,yk has gone for competition,so he cant be around to pei me,so i am just alone =(..i still need to endure for 3 weeks or so before i can make a decision..sigh..seems like this 3 weeks are reali hard to pass...wat can i do..i feel myself reali damn pathetic and kelian..everyone is enjoying their life now even those who did worst than me,but i am studying now..yesterday i saw my sch mate come bac sch,duno for wat reason, but she was giving me tat look, as to why i am in uniform..seriously i feel damn ashamed cos i have reali stayed in yj for 3 yrs liao..i reali cant stand staying in yj for another yr,though last time i did sae tat i didnt mind,but i realised tat it is actually not tat easy to overcome when u actually stepped into yj and start schooling again in tat sch..many things will come to surface..i guess i am reali a failure man..i guess no gers have repeat for 4 yrs de,maybe i am the first one cos i believe tat gers dun have tat much of courage to face tat..i am reali on the brink of giving up liao..
yesterday also walked past my flourist shop,actually wanted to go in there to talk to poey,but she not there so i decided not to go in liao..actually i reali miss working life cos its not tat stressful as studying..fri i got a test and i know nuts abt tat whole topics cos i forgot everything liao..oh man,duno how also..there is this mr A again who msg me, everything seems to be like him,the style of writing and name but different part is his surname..i chose not to reply him cos i dun wan to have any thing related wit A again..i dun wan to think abt the past again cos its not possible..

No comments: