~i would be lying if i say tat i am not sad~

sun evening decided to went out to relax myself cos i have been coping at home for many days le and i reali feel veri sian and tired to keep studying..and my body is aching like mad probably becos of the position tat i sit at home..i have been suffering from back pain too..haiz..old like man..then tat day brought a kinda short dress and i feel particular happy tat day..duno why mood feel lightened up when i spent money, when in most case ppl will usually feel heart pain spending money, but i feel likewise..haha.i abit siao liao..
mon then i reali start to panic cos i left 2 subjects untouched at all and i reali piah and put in 100% effort and concentration cos i never touch my lecture notes before for those subjects at all..so everything seems totally nice at all, though i did attend the lectures, but it seems totally unfamiliar when i look through the notes again..so its kind of mission impossible for me to remember everything in such a short time..but wat to do, who ask me to be so slack on usual days, tat serve me right..so tat day i tried sleeping lesser le..wanted to go running 12 rounds, but tat day reali cant find time off to run..so didnt run eventually.
tues was sch reopen again..had my 2nd CA for material sci..results came out to be super bad man..but if its in JC, then i would be veri contented le, but apparently all my friends around me got lik 80++ so kinda feel super upset man..duno why i always feel peer pressure from my friends around me cos they are too zai and pro liao, whereas i am those from the bottom end..tat kind of feeling is kinda hard to describe man..haiz..but wat to do..now onli need to buck up..i just hate the feeling tat i got in JC..tat (retain feeling)..but eventually after while i became ok after laughing out with those guys..i guess sometimes i need more laughter to cover my sadness, then i will be ok le..
then today i decided to weigh myself again though i was kinda reluctant to see my actual weight now after eating so much pizza on tat day..then i was shocked cos i lose weight just within a few days..but tat i reali put in quite some effort man..now, my target is to lose 5kgs, then i can become as slim as wat i am when i was seriously sick tat time..